Chapter 42 Violent needs you.
Ji Jiazhen hadn't told Wen Siyu which hotel she was staying in or which room, but he somehow knew without asking a single question. He was still wary of Fang Wei being in the next room, so he didn't knock beforehand, but instead texted her to let him open the door.
When she saw him, she didn't say anything, but slapped him on the shoulder and said in a low voice, "Get in here."
Wen Siyu was thoroughly enjoying himself, laughing and loving her tsundere attitude. He eagerly followed her inside, and as soon as the door closed, he hugged her from behind and buried his face in her neck.
"The sound is so soft, it sounds like an affair."
Ji Jiazhen tried to push him, but he was like a stubborn leech and wouldn't budge.
What are you doing here?
"I told you, I miss you terribly."
He pinched her shoulders and turned her around so she was facing him, then placed her hands behind his waist, assuming an embracing posture.
Annoyed, she pinched his side and said, "Wen Siyu, we haven't seen each other for three days."
Wen Siyu solemnly whispered two words in her ear: "Unbearable."
"Like three years."
Ji Jiazhen clearly felt that when he said "three years," he hugged her even tighter.
He raised his head, his forehead pressed against her cheek, his eyelashes brushing against her skin, bringing a tickle, followed by a pain like a fishbone stuck in his throat.
He said, "Chi Chia-chen, those three years were so hard to get through."
Wen Siyu's voice was slightly hoarse. It was as if he had finally managed to say these words after passing through many obstacles in his throat. He was filled with resentment and grievance.
Three years were so hard to get through.
During the six months he recovered from the car accident, he passed the time by watching her movies. For the next two and a half years, he would also watch her movies when he missed her.
Over the course of three years, I watched each of them more than ten times.
But the number of times he thought of her was far more than that.
The more I look at her, the more I miss her.
He used to hate illusory dreams, but after falling in love with her, he suddenly started to enjoy dreaming.
She appears in my dreams.
Ji Jiazhen pursed her lips, her hands hanging at her sides. Instead of hugging him back as he wished, she placed them on his arm and left them there without pushing him away.
She knew, of course, how difficult those three years were; she had also found the three years she spent in seclusion in the United States difficult.
She never imagined that during those sleepless nights, someone on the other side of the ocean, beyond the title of "fan," was thinking of her, missing her, and even silently loving her.
...
There was no explicit sex or lingering kisses that night.
Only a long embrace.
*
A sudden downpour began in the early hours of the morning, the raindrops being blown sideways by the sea breeze and pattering against the glass door of the balcony.
The pattering rain accompanied by muffled thunder made Ji Jiazhen's sleep restless. A sudden clap of thunder made her tremble in her half-awake state.
The person around her kept a close eye on her, and gently patted her back after sensing her fright. She felt a little safe and snuggled into his arms. After sleeping for a while, she felt hot, so she turned over and moved her back to him, shifting slightly to get some fresh air.
The next second, Wen Siyu leaned in and hugged her.
She was uncomfortable sleeping and became a little irritable. She shrugged her shoulders and said impatiently, "It's so hot, don't touch me."
He wouldn't let go, and pulled the blanket off her.
Ji Jiazhen was half-asleep and unable to think clearly. She kept moving towards the edge of the bed, the farther away from him the better.
Wen Siyu insisted on holding her, which finally angered her. She yelled at him to go back to where he came from, and to leave tomorrow.
He finally stopped moving, stepped back a little, then felt he had stepped back too much, so he stepped back a little, keeping a distance where he could reach out and touch her back.
Wen Siyu's burning body temperature had subsided, but the torrential rain outside continued, keeping her awake and increasingly alert. After lying there for about fifteen minutes, she was fully awake. She turned over, opened her eyes, and looked at the ceiling. "Still hot?"
Wen Siyu suddenly spoke up.
He hadn't slept, keeping his eyes fixed on her.
Ji Jiazhen glanced at him, put her forearm across her eyes, and asked him in a tired voice, "What are you going to do if you're not sleeping?"
Wen Siyu touched her arm and felt it wasn't so hot anymore. He then moved closer to her and spoke softly.
"I want you to stay with me, not so far away."
*
The rain lasted all night, and by early morning it hadn't let up. Xia Xun called to say he was taking the day off, and he sounded really tired.
The one-day break was exactly what Wen Siyu wanted, meaning he could stay by Ji Jiazhen's side 24/7.
They made a ruckus until 3:30 last night. Ji Jiazhen fell asleep again after answering the phone. Wen Siyu, on the other hand, wasn't sleepy and lay down with her for two hours without closing his eyes. He took her phone and played a game that she'd recently become a little addicted to.
She was stuck on that level for several days. The night before last, she posted on her WeChat Moments with a middle finger emoji and a screenshot of the game interface, with the large, eye-catching gray word "Failure".
He played for an hour and a half and helped her pass that level.
When Ji Jiazhen groggily opened her eyes, she felt a cold sensation on her ankle. She squinted and looked over, and saw a thin layer of white ointment applied to it.
She guessed it was an ointment.
Wen Siyu sat at the foot of the bed, fiddling with something in his hands. She watched for a while, and just as she was about to speak, he turned around.
Their eyes met, he raised an eyebrow, and placed something warm on her ankle.
A heartwarming warmth.
Are you still sleepy?
Ji Jiazhen's voice was a little hoarse: "What time is it?"
"It's eleven o'clock, are you hungry?"
She watched him reach out and slowly rub the area covered by the heated substance.
"A little."
Wen Siyu looked up at her and said, "Hot pot, would you like to eat in the room or go out to eat?"
Ji Jiazhen propped herself up on the bed and sat up. "Let's go outside."
She felt a burning sensation in her ankle, pulled her foot back, and asked him, "What's this?"
Wen Siyu didn't answer, but reached out his hand to her, pulled her to sit up straight, and asked her, "We haven't seen each other for three days, how did you get yourself all injured?"
He looked down from her ankles to her shoulders, and finally into her eyes, his tone and gaze conveying a sense of accusation.
She leaned over and poked the heated patch, replying, "Filming, huh?"
She twisted her ankle on the first day of dance practice without paying attention. It only hurt at the time, but when she got home that evening, she noticed it was swollen. It wasn't a big problem, and she could walk normally. Not wanting to delay the filming schedule, she didn't tell anyone. She bought some medicine, applied it once, and then found it too troublesome and left it alone.
The bruise on her shoulder was from being hit by equipment on set. The equipment was huge, and the staff carrying it had blind spots. She was standing still adjusting her clothes when it bumped into her. The staff apologized to her several times afterward, but it was just an accident, nothing to apologize for.
That's how the injuries came about. She's always lacked care and patience when it comes to taking care of herself, which caused these two areas to take three days to heal.
Wen Siyu discussed with her: "Next time you get injured, tell me immediately."
Ji Jiazhen lifted her eyelids and glanced at him, "Did I tell you you could come?"
He replied confidently, "Yes."
Just that one word, but she could tell from his posture that he meant "Of course I can."
She scoffed lightly, too lazy to pay attention, and dangled her feet on his lap a couple of times. "Get clean, I'm hungry."
*
Wen Siyu is quite cunning. He even changed his clothes before leaving the house because he noticed that Ji Jiazhen was wearing the T-shirt that she had taken from his closet last time, and he happened to have the same one with him, so he changed into it to match her.
He arranged everything perfectly: he carried the bag, held the umbrella, found the shops, and called the car. All Ji Jiazhen had to do was follow behind him; she didn't even need to look up.
On a rainy day, almost no one went out, so Wen Siyu dared to hold her hand without restraint, from the elevator to the car, without letting go.
When they sat down at the hot pot restaurant, Ji Jiazhen brushed her hair aside and asked Wen Siyu to give her her bag. She didn't say anything else, but he knew what she wanted to do. He didn't hand her the bag, but reached out his hand.
Ji Jiazhen looked at her; her hair tie was on his wrist.
In that instant, she had something to say, but in the end, she didn't say it.
Wen Siyu always remembered her words: a hot pot with two broths, one half clear broth and the other half spicy broth, the kind with extra numbing and spicy flavor.
Ji Jiazhen tried to reach her chopsticks into the spicy broth, but he stopped her and glanced at her feet.
"The injury hasn't healed yet, so eat light food."
So he ate the spicy hot pot all by himself, but he wasn't good at handling spicy food, and his face turned red from the spiciness after eating only half of it. Ji Jiazhen told him to stop eating, but he wouldn't listen, just like he was arguing with what she had said the night before they came to Haicheng, and he didn't stop even though his stomach was burning from the spiciness.
Ji Jiazhen, biting her chopsticks, looked at him and asked, "Is this really necessary?"
Wen Siyu took a big gulp of his iced drink, sweat beading on his forehead, and replied, "I threw away the cigarettes in your bag."
She raised an eyebrow. "I agreed?"
He put down his chopsticks, hooked his foot around her chair, turned her around, and their knees touched.
"We've had the drinks, you decide if they're strong enough. I've watched every movie you've acted in at least ten times, you can ask me any lines. I've helped you beat that game level you couldn't get past, it's a bit boring but not brain-dead, enough to pass the time. We'll have extra spicy hot pot, we'll eat it again when you're better."
As for whether she remembers all the habits and whether she takes care of them, she sees it all.
"The last one is to quit smoking."
He looked at her, his eyes questioning.
Do you dare?
Are you willing or not?
Do you want to come with me?
Do you want to be with me?
Ji Jiazhen grabbed the empty glass from the table and pressed it against his face. The glass was still icy, and water droplets clung to his face, trickling down and dripping onto the back of his hand.
"Try quitting for a few days."
That means giving him a trial period.
*
The torrential rain lasted for a day and a night, turning into a light drizzle the next day. Even with the light rain, the film crew still couldn't film and had to postpone it for another day.
At 9:50, Ji Jiazhen suddenly woke up.
She has a dance lesson to learn today, and her appointment with the teacher is at 10:00. Fang Wei said he would wake her up at 9:30, but she hasn't received a call.
She turned on her phone screen, and Fang Wei's WeChat was at the bottom.
Call me back when you wake up.
She gestured for Wen Siyu to be quiet and dialed Fang Wei's number.
"woke up?"
The call connected, and Fang Wei's voice came through.
"Yes, you didn't call me."
"I've postponed your dance class. Take a good rest today and you can learn again tomorrow."
Ji Jiazhen didn't understand Fang Wei's intention. After all, if they finished learning today, they wouldn't have to delay the crew's progress tomorrow.
Fang Wei's voice was leisurely, as if he didn't think there was anything wrong with it, "Sleep a little longer, wake up in my room."
She continued, "Take him with you."
Ji Jiazhen immediately looked at Wen Siyu, pointed at him, and mouthed three words to him.
"You're finished."
He then replied to Fang Wei: "I'm coming right now."
Now she can't sleep even if she tries.
Wen Siyu didn't take it to heart at all.
*
Fang Wei had prepared tea in the room and invited her in. Then he said to Wen Siyu, "Stand outside."
She used the word "stand" instead of "wait," which has a hint of being punished by being made to stand.
Ji Jiazhen and Fang Wei sat down facing each other on the sofa. Fang Wei first told her about work, the follow-up arrangements, and other work that needed to be done simultaneously in the near future. She said that she would arrange all of these, and that she had called her here just to let her know so that she would have a general idea.
Ji Jiazhen said that she would listen to her on work matters and had no objections.
Once we've reached an agreement on work, it's time to talk about personal matters.
Fang Wei didn't mince words and spoke frankly: "I know that it's basically one-sided on his part between you two, but I still want to ask a question."
Ji Jiazhen took the tea from Fang Wei and said, "Please speak."
"What is your true attitude?"
She added, "I want to hear the truth. I won't tell him any of your answers today."
My true feelings towards Wen Siyu.
Ji Jiazhen lowered her eyes and gently swirled the teacup in her hand.
"It's just like what you see."
She didn't give a direct answer, leaving Fang Wei to guess, and she wouldn't say whether his guess was right or wrong.
But the answer is clear.
She gave Wen Siyu so many opportunities, letting him stick to her side, letting him stay in her room overnight, and even helping to keep it a secret from Fang Wei.
This should be the answer.
Fang Wei smiled knowingly, but there was a hint of amusement in that smile.
She knew that Ji Jiazhen wouldn't be an easy hurdle to overcome, and that Wen Siyu would eventually suffer a major setback because of her. But it was his own choice, and he deserved the pain.
Fang Wei got up to open the door for Wen Siyu, giving him a cold look. There was no place for him to sit on the sofa, and he wasn't even offered any tea.
She threw a glass at his shoulder. "Do you think coming here is thoughtful or affectionate?"
Wen Siyu didn't flinch, but stood there beside him, and replied, "What do you think it is?"
"It's stupid."
Ji Jiazhen looked at Fang Wei, anticipating her next words.
"She's at the peak of her career, and your presence will only subject her to gossip and rumors. Do you think that's good for her?"
Wen Siyu remained silent, pondering the question Fang Wei had raised.
"Tonight, you can leave on your own."
She didn't even give him one more night. The weather forecast said the rain would stop tonight, Ji Jiazhen had to film a movie tomorrow, and Wen Siyu had to leave tonight.
Wen Siyu had no way to refute it. After a long silence, he muttered, "Okay."
*
Ji Jiazhen thought that with Wen Siyu's temper, she wouldn't be able to leave her room this afternoon; she'd probably be exhausted.
But no.
He did nothing, but when he came back, he applied medicine to her ankle again, played games with her for a while, and sat by her side watching her read the script and memorize her lines.
After she finished reciting, he spread the things he had packed out in front of her.
"The swelling hasn't completely gone down yet. Keep applying this medicine for two more days, and I'll monitor you via video."
“You complained of an upset stomach last night, so I ordered some light meals for you. They’ll be delivered to the set on time every day, and there won’t be any repetitions. Let me know if you get tired of them.”
"Your period is coming soon, so don't get chilled these days. If you feel unwell, remember to tell me."
"Don't be a hero. If you're hurt, you should talk about it. If you don't want to talk to others, then talk to me too. Take care of yourself."
He said a few sentences in a row, but couldn't think of the next sentence, so he paused.
Ji Jiazhen asked him, "Is there anything else?"
He pondered for a moment, then hesitated before walking up to her, kneeling on one knee, and looking up at her.
"Remember me every day, and don't let me know you're having an affair."
"Are you done talking?"
"That's all."
Ji Jiazhen lowered her head and pressed her lips to his, remaining there motionless.
Wen Siyu placed his hand behind her head and initiated a deep kiss.
Her hands gradually climbed up his shoulders, and just as she was about to wrap her arms around his neck, he turned his head away, his voice muffled.
"They're gone."
He said this, but didn't move. He didn't loosen his grip on the back of her head, and his forehead remained pressed against hers for nearly three minutes before he finally stood up and turned away with a heavy heart.
Ji Jiazhen didn't say a word until he left.
The room quieted down. She hadn't thought the room was that big before, but now it felt empty, and even the quiet felt lonely.
In this atmosphere, she could calm down and think about Fang Weiwen's words.
The true attitude in one's heart.
She answered that way because she wasn't sure herself; she wasn't sure what she really felt for him.
The suitcase was spread out on the ground; everything inside had been packed by Wen Siyu.
A small first-aid kit was placed on the table, next to the medicine he had instructed her to apply.
The blanket at the foot of the bed was slightly wrinkled; Wen Siyu had sat there watching her before he left.
There were five boxes of blueberries he had bought in the refrigerator, some of which he had even washed.
She thought she could answer that question now.
She needs him a little.
That's the answer.
*
Wen Siyu received Ji Jiazhen's WeChat message while on his way to the airport.
He kept staring at his phone screen, wanting to hear her say something before leaving, anything at all.
But she didn't say it; she just wouldn't say it.
But then she sent another message.
I have poor self-control, so even quitting smoking requires supervision.
He lowered his head, read that sentence to himself seven or eight times, and typed on the screen, deleting and typing each sentence repeatedly, before finally turning off the screen.
Damn it, I want to go back and find her.
-----------------------
Author's Note: A brief edit to the author's notes
I forgot to say I wish you happiness in August.
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