day57
There is no doubt that Fanlan is a gentle, friendly and polite insect.
It is well known that Fanlan is tolerant, considerate and caring towards male insects.
But Fanlan treats female insects...
I'm afraid few insects would have thought that the way Vanlan gets along with female insects is often based on "commands".
This is not because he is arrogant by nature and looks down on other insects, nor is it because he considers himself a superior or relies on his status as a male insect.
The reason for this is simple: when dealing with female insects, "commands" are a simple and efficient way of communication.
So, female insects like to be ordered around and are born to be indecisive?
Not necessarily.
It’s just that female insects are not very good at empathy.
Female insects are creatures that have low demands for their own emotional values and rarely empathize with other insects.
Human beings always pursue to be understood. For many people, their entire life is nothing more than a process of seeking understanding. We like persuasion, the output of values, the recognition of consistency of ideas, some "convince", some "resonance", some "same frequency".
For a human being, if he finds something wrong or incomprehensible in someone else's opinion, he will try to persuade and correct it, refute the other party, and use all his words to make the other party agree - sometimes this is an instinctive behavior.
But such instincts are quite unsuitable for dealing with female insects.
The female insect is a stubborn and practical creature.
Many times their course of action does not even come from thinking, but from “efficient and correct” habitual patterns.
For example, when a human being faces a crossroads in life: what university subject to choose. Humans will feel that this is extremely important, related to future development and the career dreams that they may want to achieve. Many people will begin to struggle between "good employment" and "what I am interested in", and then have a lot of thoughts about whether to choose to pursue dreams, whether to work hard for an uncertain goal, and whether the current choice can help me become the person I want to be in the future.
When the female insect comes to the same fork in the road, the choice becomes very simple and direct, and the decision time will not exceed three seconds - I am better at this, my thinking logic can more easily understand this aspect of knowledge, and I can develop relatively quickly along the way. Okay, that's it.
——If I am smart, I will continue to go to school. If I am average, I will join the army/earn money.
Don't waste any energy or time.
After all, I will keep climbing up.
Therefore, most female insects don’t actually care much about concepts, ideas, mutual understanding, sparks of thought, etc. that are very important to humans.
If you tell a female insect about your ideas, they may sound very correct and reasonable enough, but the female insect who is caught and has her next schedule delayed because of listening to your opinions will probably just be confused and think: What does this have to do with me? When can I leave?
I have no obligation or time to understand you - this is the brain circuit setting of most female insects.
After grasping this underlying ideology that had been shaped over the years, Fanlan knew that persuading and making the female insects "sincerely" understand was an extremely inefficient and low-return behavior.
There is no need to waste a lot of time and energy just to get a confusing conversation.
So what should you do? When you encounter a disagreement and cannot convince the other party to agree with your point of view, do you have the only choice to obey or acquiesce to the other party?
No.
This is still a mindset of human beings pursuing "convince", as if things that are not done willingly are meaningless.
In fact, there is no contradiction between being unable to convince the female insect to understand oneself and making the female insect obey oneself.
Fanlan is a person with a firm sense of self, complete values, and sufficient self-identity - now he is a bug.
He will not give up his ideas.
But he also doesn't like to force others to agree with his ideas.
In particular, why is it necessary to force creatures with different social environments, different growth conditions, and even different civilization structures to understand and agree with one's ideas?
So when faced with a female insect that was difficult to empathize with, Fanlan had a way of dealing with it that could be considered lazy:
I won't force you to agree with me, nor will I ask you to be empathetic, but if you are in my territory, you want to get along with me, you want to walk with me - then fine, you need to follow my ideas.
When you take this approach, many things become very simple.
Many people may think that lack of mutual understanding means they cannot live in harmony, or that getting along with each other is tiring. That is not the case. It is just like when you raise a puppy, you cannot actually make it truly understand what you are thinking. You are different species and you have different language structures, but you can definitely make it sit down, shake hands, and follow you.
Why should we make things difficult for a puppy? After all, puppies have their own cuteness, don’t they?
Of course, there are also puppies that are not so cute.
This requires more training to help them develop more "instinctive awareness".
If you say to Eliworth, a female insect with "I have straight female cancer" engraved on her head: You should respect male insects from the bottom of your heart, you should realize that male insects are also independent individuals, and realize that not all male insects are delicate and artificial, and you should reduce stereotypes.
Eliwash will just look at you speechlessly with a pair of dead fish eyes.
Therefore, the above paragraph is purely ineffective advice and has no practical significance. You should say to him directly: Apologize to the male insect that you just treated with contempt.
So no matter what he thinks, no matter how stubborn his steely brain circuits are, or how gloomy his face looks, he will eventually apologize.
Then the male insect who had been treated with contempt would feel somewhat better.
While we are unable to change others' deep-rooted ideas, at least we can bring about some beneficial changes in actual behavior. Within the limited capabilities of individual insects, this may be enough.
Fanlan still remembers when he first met Eliworth. If he were to use a dog analogy, then in Fanlan's eyes, he was a bad dog with extremely bad habits.
So relatively speaking, during her teenage years, Ellie was the female insect who saw the most of Vanlan's "dominant side".
All the insects said that Fanlan was gentle, amiable and considerate. Eliwash smiled coldly and was too lazy to express his opinion.
He had suffered the most mental whippings, received the most cold looks, and received the most verbal pressure.
In Eliworth's opinion, Vanlan is a male insect that seems gentle, soft, and good-tempered, but is actually stubborn, self-willed, dictatorial, and extremely difficult to get along with and deal with.
This was simply the most difficult person Ellie had ever seen in his life.
Beneath his gentle appearance, he hides a heart as hard as ice.
Hard, uncompromising, and sometimes even cold.
Ellie admitted that not all male insects are pretty faces, and he was not ignorant of the so-called sense of equality.
He just doesn’t have a cold.
Because in his world, in what he has seen and heard since childhood, and in his actual contact and perception, male insects are delicate, sensitive, troublesome, and troublesome creatures with many inexplicable thoughts.
For his class, male insects are not so rare and precious, so apart from the natural admiration of ordinary female insects for male insects, what remains to be seen is merely the superficial manifestation of the personalities of most male insects.
Especially since Eliworth is a workaholic who was destined to become a domineering president from birth. He has no need for love or emotional companionship.
When you don’t feel the preciousness of the other person, you won’t think the other person’s willfulness is cute. When you don’t feel the desire for it, you won’t think the other person’s pampering is interesting.
Therefore, it is natural and inevitable that Elworth's words and actions would reveal a sense of contempt for male insects.
As a result, June found him more and more unbearable and was always quarreling and scolding him. Even if it was directed at June, at least he could ensure that he did not look down on her.
Qiu En's scolding only made him feel a headache and pinch his brows, which made him more certain of one thing:
It turns out that male insects are troublesome creatures.
The most troublesome one among them is June, because Ellie has no suitable way to deal with him. They are from similar family backgrounds and grew up together, so he can only choose to endure the male insect's unreasonable anger.
The one that Insect feared the most was Fanlan - yes, fear. It was hard to imagine such a word appearing in Eliworth's dictionary, but he had to admit that Fanlan had the ability to make Insect fear because of his style of giving a candy after a whip.
At least he was trained to fear Fanlan's anger.
Afraid of those eyes that appear cold and heartless when they lose their smile.
The corresponding thing is that when you begin to fear his displeasure, you will begin to look forward to his reward.
Perhaps this style of behavior is only aimed at insects that "behave badly" in Vanlan's eyes, but as a female insect that is targeted, Eliwash is very angry.
But it's useless, I'm just furious.
Especially when he thought that he had only received mental whips, while Lester had received countless mental comforts, Eliwash's imbalance reached its peak. He once asked Vanlan how Lester could be better than him. He was not arrogant? He did not despise male insects?
Come on, doesn’t he know what kind of person Lester Chirasso is?
Why should he suffer this while that guy lives a comfortable life?
When hearing Ellie's question, Fanlan turned around in surprise.
Then he replied: "Indeed, Lester is more arrogant than anyone else."
"Why?"
Fanlan glanced at him with a half-smile: "But I think he is smarter than you."
Eliwash wanted to get angry again, but he held back under Vanlan's gaze.
"Ellie, I'm not saying you're not smart—just from a brain, IQ perspective."
"You are very smart and you have a superior mind."
“But this is different.”
"You are a violent dog. You have the most powerful bite ability. You can tear apart any target you want by attacking in a straight line."
"You are good at the most direct way of obtaining."
Ailiwash was not easily deceived by the compliment: "Haha, in terms of efficiency and directness, I think Leicester is also one of the best."
"But Lestat is essentially a hound." Vanlan put the trimmed branches into the vase.
“Efficient simply because efficient is often indeed the most effective.”
“But when efficiency doesn’t necessarily lead to the best outcome, Leicester will choose to move back rather than finish.”
"He doesn't bother to understand other bugs, but he's very good at seeing into their hearts."
"When I was little, at least when I was little, I think he probably never understood me."
"But he never contradicted or denied me."
"I didn't even realize that some of my thoughts were so strange, and some of my words actually made insects laugh."
"Ellie, why do you think this is happening?"
Elworth fell silent.
"So—he's smarter than you are at this."
"You can refute any bug, and you also have the ability and capital to deny any bug. Your mind and your background can support you in rejecting most things that are not what you think."
"So can he."
"But he often chooses to remain silent."
“That’s amazing…”
"Is it?"
Eliwash snorted and said nothing.
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