Looking back on her journey, Su Yushan felt utterly ridiculous.
At that time, she only lied to Hongli and said she liked him in order to get Hongli to release Zheng Lin. Later, she felt that Hongli was so good to her, so she should reciprocate and be nicer to him. Once he got married, she would take back her kindness.
However, she forgot that spilled water cannot be gathered up again, and the same principle applies to the feelings that have been given; they are also difficult to take back.
She prided herself on being clear-headed, yet she unknowingly fell into Hongli's trap of gentleness.
For the past six months, he has only stayed at Huatang Pavilion, and the other maids have become mere decorations. It is as if she is his only one. Su Yushan no longer treats him as a friend, but as a lover. The two are like a young couple who have fallen in love after marriage, and their feelings for each other have become deeper and deeper.
She thought she was rational enough to walk away at any time after realizing his change of heart. She thought she wouldn't care too much about Hongli, but when he got married and was in the bridal chamber with someone else, her heart suddenly ached so badly that she could hardly breathe. She covered herself with the quilt and cried uncontrollably.
Tears wet her eyelashes, and the scalding tears slid down from the corners of her eyes, turning icy cold as they reached her neck, just like her heart, chilled to the bone.
At that moment, she realized that she had unknowingly fallen in love with Hongli.
Others, unaware of the future, might still hold a sliver of hope for Hongli, but she knew he was the future Emperor Qianlong, and knew he would have many women, so how could she be foolish enough to develop feelings for him?
Knowing full well that it was an impossible thing to do, she still fell into the trap herself, and now she's ended up injured, which she deserves!
Su Yushan only regretted that she was too soft-hearted, why she wasn't on guard, and why she was so calculating about matters of the heart.
This is clearly self-torture!
That night, she cried for a long time, until she couldn't breathe and coughed, until her head throbbed and she almost fainted. She couldn't sleep a wink all night, and when she finally did, she was startled awake. Between dreams and wakefulness, she saw Hongli, sometimes rational, sometimes confused, always thinking about how to handle this awkward situation.
When Changyue woke up the next day, she immediately noticed that her mistress's eyes were terribly swollen and red, and felt a pang of pity. "Princess, you must have had a very hard night, right? Your eyes are all swollen from crying..."
After a grueling night, when Su Yushan woke up again, it felt like she had just been to the gates of hell and miraculously made it back.
The morning sun streamed through the window, bathing the flowers and trees in its light. All things were still growing, and life had to go on. She had decided to stop wallowing in self-pity.
"It was tough, but thankfully I've gotten through it. I let it go after I finished crying. I'm fine, don't worry."
Chang Yue couldn't fully understand her mistress's thoughts, which were different from others'. However, she still hoped that her mistress could be happier. "What the princess said is true. Nothing else matters. Living a peaceful life is the most important thing."
Su Yushan nodded, forced a smile, her face pale, but a stubborn glimmer remained in her eyes.
Chang Yue wasn't sure if her mistress had truly come to terms with it or was just saying things against her will to comfort her, but there was one thing she had to remind her: "Today, all the maids must go and pay their respects to the Fujin, and you, Gege, are no exception."
"I know."
The nanny had mentioned these rules to her, and even though she was feeling down, she couldn't skip them to avoid gossip and misunderstandings from the wife.
Taking a deep breath, Su Yushan walked to the dressing table and asked Chang Yue to do her makeup. "My eyes are terribly swollen. Please apply more makeup to cover them up. I don't want people to laugh at me."
"Yes, Your Highness, I understand. I will make sure you look beautiful in the painting."
After thinking for a moment, Su Yushan instructed again: "The makeup should not be too bright. After all, today is the Princess's day, and we should not steal the spotlight. Keep the makeup light, choose a light color for the lipstick, and just make sure the eyes are drawn more carefully."
"Yes, I understand." Chang Yue dressed her up according to her mistress's wishes, choosing a pair of light pink ruby earrings and a pale yellow winter plum blossom silk flower tucked into her hair. The look was light, graceful, and elegant, without being ostentatious.
Su Yushan trusted her judgment, and she was always satisfied with the clothes and accessories that Chang Yue chose for her, so she didn't need to put in any effort to match them.
After finishing her toilette, Su Yushan got up and went to Lanzhao Courtyard, the residence of the Fujin (principal wife). It was her first time going there, and she was not familiar with the road.
She thought she only needed to face the Fujin today, but unexpectedly, after arriving at Lanzhao Courtyard, she saw Hongli's figure in the hall.
She assumed that Hongli still had to go to the palace to attend to state affairs and was unaware that he was having a three-day holiday due to his wedding and did not need to go to the palace.
Their gazes met only for a moment. Just as Hongli was about to speak to her, she shifted her gaze, curtsied, and said obediently and respectfully, "Greetings to Fourth Master and his wife."
Lady Fucha's gaze was gentle, and she responded with a smile.
The person before her was none other than Empress Xiaoxian from history. Su Yushan couldn't help but raise her eyes to take a look, secretly praising her as a descendant of a noble family, gentle and dignified, with an elegant temperament and a very auspicious appearance.
To avoid being impolite, Su Yushan didn't stare for too long. She quickly looked away, walked over to Xi Lan, sat down next to her, and started talking to her.
Xi Lan was closest to her and could easily see that her eyes were red. It must be because the Fourth Prince and the Princess were having their wedding night that Yu Shan was sad!
She wanted to comfort Yu Shan, but there were other people present in the hall, so it seemed inappropriate to bring it up now. Therefore, Xi Lan didn't mention it and instead talked to her about other things to cheer her up.
Hongli, seated in the seat of honor, felt uneasy, secretly wondering if she was angry with him.
Seeing this, Gao Xiuwen remained outwardly calm, but inwardly she was thinking, "What goes around comes around. Su Yushan finally understands what it's like to be alone in her room while the Fourth Master enjoys himself with someone else!"
The one who arrived last today was Kim Min-jung. Everyone else knew to keep their distance in front of the Princess Consort, but she still wore red lips and a scarlet dress, dressed very glamorously, as if she wanted to outshine everyone else.
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