After the fifteenth, he would be able to have half a month of freedom to continue visiting Huatang Pavilion to accompany Su Yushan.
That night, the two went to their tent to rest. Hongli often held her in his arms and let her rest her head on his arm. At first, Su Yushan was not used to it and dared not rest her head too hard, for fear of pressing on him. However, Hongli did not care. He just liked to see her tender appearance nestled in his arms.
Over time, Su Yushan got used to it.
She was still nestled in his arms. Hongli was not sleepy at all. He held her with his left arm and idly read a book with his right. Since he couldn't turn the pages easily, he would lightly tap her shoulder with his left finger after reading a page. Understanding this, Su Yushan would raise her finger to turn the page for him. Their cooperation was very tacit.
In the past, she would read with him, and even if she didn't understand much, she could still get the gist of it. But tonight, she was somewhat distracted, simply because during dinner, he brought up the topic of children again, and the expectant look in his eyes put a lot of pressure on her.
"Hongli, do you really like children?"
"Of course, what's wrong? You don't like it?"
When she suddenly asked this question, Hongli's eyes narrowed slightly, thinking that she still didn't want a child.
After a moment of silence, Su Yushan said softly, "I have no interest in children, but you want one, so I'm willing to have one for you. It's just a pity that nothing has happened for so long. If I can't get pregnant, will you...?"
She hesitated, then Hongli pressed her for an answer, "What will happen?"
She gently bit her pomegranate-like teeth, her thick eyelashes trembling slightly, and whispered, "Will you despise me? Think I'm useless?"
Her idea surprised Hongli quite a bit. "Who told you that?"
"Nobody told me, I just made it up on my own."
After a moment's thought, Hongli understood. She had just been to Lanzhao Courtyard, where everyone was present, and given that the Fujin was pregnant, he guessed that someone was subtly mocking her; otherwise, she wouldn't have thought of these things for no reason.
He gently stroked her cheek with his finger, his dark eyes fixed on her, and solemnly said:
“Yushan, I stay by your side because I enjoy being with you, not for the sake of having children. You are a person, not an object. I don’t need to use you for anything. Your purpose has never been to have children.”
I do love children and want one of our own, but it's a hope, not a demand. It would be great if we had one, but it's okay if we don't, because what I look forward to most is the process of loving you…
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