At that time, Yunfang was packing her bags in the house. She had lived there for more than half a year. Every time the seasons changed, Yushan would buy her a lot of new clothes. These were all gifts from Yushan. She was leaving and wanted to pack them up and take them with her. She would never see Yushan again, so looking at the clothes would be a way to remember her.
As for this room, she also needs to clean it up so that Changyue won't have to tidy it up herself.
Just then, someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was Chang Yue, she answered, "The door's unlocked, come in!"
However, when the door was pushed open, what came into her view was Li Yu's figure!
Yunfang immediately frowned, "What, it's you? This is my private room, get out!"
She got up to shoo him away, but he slipped in and locked the door behind him.
Seeing the bundle on the table, Li Yu couldn't help but ask, "Are you leaving? Why are you leaving? Are you willing to leave Princess Su?"
Of course she was reluctant, but if they stayed any longer, it would be awkward for all three of them. However, she was too lazy to say more, and frowned as she said:
"This is my own business, it has nothing to do with you. Please leave immediately, I don't want to talk to you."
"Yunfang, you don't need to leave just because you're angry with me. Gege needs your company."
Upon hearing this, Yunfang immediately flew into a rage, "I'm not doing this for you, don't take yourself too seriously!"
Li Yuqiang, embarrassed by the teasing, continued, "No matter the reason, I hope you can make a careful decision. Aunt Liu has just gotten used to life in Beijing. If you suddenly take her back to her hometown, she definitely won't adapt. Why don't you stay? Please don't leave!"
He's always like this, saying ambiguous things and doing things that make people overthink. In the past, she would be moved and still have hope, but now, Yunfang has seen through him and will never be foolish again.
She glanced at him coldly; despite it being the height of summer, a thin layer of frost clung to her eyes.
"Li Yu, don't you think you're acting strangely? What makes you think you can keep me here? It's true that I provoked you first, but you said you didn't like me, so I chose to give up and leave. Now you're coming back with this irrelevant nonsense. What's the point of this entanglement? Does it make me think you can't bear to lose me, so I can continue to have illusions about you and continue to suffer in pain?"
Feeling misunderstood, Li Yu quickly denied it, saying, "I never said I didn't like you. I just said I hadn't thought about it."
"Isn't 'not considering' just a polite way of rejecting you? Your attitude is so obvious, how long am I supposed to keep deceiving myself?"
The moment she brought it up, her eyes welled up with tears, and her voice began to tremble involuntarily. The grievances she felt made her eyes sting and she felt extremely uncomfortable.
Hearing the slight sob in her voice, Li Yu felt a pang of pity and finally mustered the courage to speak her true feelings.
“If I were a normal man, I would naturally consider personal feelings, but I am a eunuch. In my understanding, I am different from other men and cannot marry and have children, so I can only rely on myself.”
My only goal is to serve the Fourth Master diligently, earn more money to support myself in my old age and prepare for my funeral. I dare not dream of anything else.
So when you confessed your feelings to me, I was completely stunned. Relationships were outside my life plans; I hadn't considered them. In my panic, I didn't know how to respond, which is why I said that.
Yunfang had so many questions she wanted to ask, but she worried it was all wishful thinking. A thousand words reached her lips, but she forced them back, telling herself not to hold any hope for him. He was only here to say goodbye; there was no need to dwell on who was right and who was wrong.
"Since I'm not in your life plan, I won't force you. You can continue saving your money for your funeral, and I'll go back to my hometown. We'll leave each other alone."
Her eyes were unusually indifferent, lacking their former fiery passion, and even her anger was gone. At that moment, Li Yu suddenly realized that Chang Yue was right; she had truly given up. If he didn't tell the truth, he would never have another chance!
Nervous, Li Yu blurted out her thoughts, "I don't want you to leave, Yunfang. You weren't in our plans before, but I can't imagine how I would live such a dull life without you."
These words shocked Yunfang, but he still didn't say it explicitly, only hinting that perhaps it was just her imagination again? Yunfang, unwilling to presume any more affection, coldly choked back:
“You should live with Fourth Master; he is the person you care about most.”
With a sigh, Li Yu said softly, "Fourth Master has Consort Su. Actually, I also want to be with the person I like, but am I worthy?"
She is beautiful and kind-hearted, and is also Su Gege's good friend. She will surely be betrothed to a good family in the future. If she marries me, will it be unfair to her? Will she be ridiculed for marrying a eunuch?
What if it's just a momentary impulse, and she later finds that I can't give her the happiness she wants? Will she regret it? So many concerns are troubling me. I always feel I'm not a good match for her, and I'm afraid of holding her back. That's why when I learned she went on a blind date with my best friend, I offered my insincere blessings, but I never had the courage to pursue her or speak my true feelings.
So this was Li Yu's true thought? Yunfang had always thought he didn't care about her, which was why he let her marry Demin. She never expected that he had so many emotions churning inside him.
His eyes were sincere, but lacked a certain firmness. His special status instilled a deep-seated inferiority complex in him. Although he wouldn't show it on a daily basis, he was ultimately concerned about the fact that he wasn't a real man. That's why he hesitated and was afraid to make a decision when it came to relationships.
Yunfang didn't want to force anything, but if he had feelings for her, what did she have to fear?
"You think you're not a complete man, but in my eyes, you're just you. Your name is Li Yu. You can be glib at times, but when it comes to the people you care about, you're sincere and have no ulterior motives."
I don't know when I started to care about you and began to look forward to Fourth Master's visit, because when he came, you would come with him. Every time I heard you speak and saw your smile, my heart would feel sweet.
You often bring me the new and interesting things you see, and the delicious food you come across. Perhaps it's unintentional, but your kind sharing quietly warms my heart.
What does it matter who you are? As long as I like it, I don't care what others say! Life is my own; only I know whether it's hot or cold. We shouldn't live according to other people's opinions.
If a young woman can be so resolute in the face of rumors and gossip, then what does Li Yu have to fear?
He longed to abandon everything and be with her, but when he thought of what Aunt Liu had once said to him, he lost his confidence.
"Even if you and I don't care about worldly opinions, what about Aunt Liu? She desperately wants you to get married, saying she wants to have a grandson. If you marry me, she won't even get a grandson, so she definitely won't agree. Aunt Liu has been so good to me, wanting to adopt me as her godson, but I've kidnapped her daughter and want to be her son-in-law. I reckon she'd want to kill me!"
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