Chapter 194 Root
"If eldest brother hadn't come back, it wouldn't be Tianya who would die first. It would definitely be second brother and elder sister. How could father be soft on second brother and elder sister?"
He spoke evasively and Shen Tie didn't understand what he meant, but Shen Yin knew it as soon as he heard it. His breathing became heavier and his body trembled involuntarily.
There was no point in Shen Jin scaring him. He just knew that if he didn't wake up and figure things out now, it would be fatal if he let those stupid words take root in his heart.
Seeing that he had listened carefully, Shen Jincai continued, "In fact, my sister might not have made it to the county town, or even earlier, when she was in the village, she might have been sold for food because there was no food, just like Sister Mei Niang."
His voice was hoarse when he spoke here. He had said so much to Wang Chunniang because he lost control of his emotions for a moment. Now that he had calmed down a little and with Chen Tie around, he did not dare to elaborate on how Tian Ya was sent back by Wang Meiniang, and what a miserable condition Wang Meiniang was in.
In fact, even if it was his mother, she would protect them, but would she protect Shen An and Shen Ning? Not only would she not protect them, but it was also unknown whether she would follow his father to find a buyer. This was a question that Shen Jin, as a son, did not want to and dared not think about.
"My second brother is a boy, so he was not so easy to sell at that time, but he could not escape the same fate as Tianya even after he entered the county town. After my second brother and elder sister were gone, there would be four of us brothers and sisters."
"So you understand?"
"The family was divided a long time ago, and the two branches even severed their relationship. With what our parents did, it's normal for our eldest brother and sister-in-law to not care about our lives. We are still alive because our eldest brother and sister-in-law and our second brother and sister-in-law didn't make a fuss about us, because our eldest brother still treats us as his younger brothers, and because our eldest sister-in-law is kind-hearted. That's why she is willing to carry the three of us, a big burden, in a world where people would sell their children for a little food."
"So you should be more sober and don't be instigated by those people with bad intentions. Don't follow their lead and think along their lines."
"If you imitate her and think along her lines, your mind will become crooked and you will grow up to be as disgusting as she is. Moreover, with the thought that just occurred to you, where do you put the kindness of your elder brother and sister-in-law, your second brother, and your elder sister towards you?"
He pushed his empty medicine bowl towards Shen Yin, loosened his clenched hand, and placed the hawthorn preserves and banana slices in his hand next to the empty medicine bowl. He asked Shen Yin: "Can you really still eat the medicine we drink, the food, meat, vegetables, and dried fruits we eat every day?"
"I can hide in this valley peacefully every day, I don't have to suffer from hunger and cold, I don't have to eat dirt, I don't have to starve to death, and I don't have to worry about being stared at by those starving people..."
"That day in the county, you and Xiaotie were both in a bad state. You don't know that those people who gathered outside our shack on the day our parents died were mostly there to watch the fun, and some were plotting against us. You don't know anything."
"I was always afraid of scaring you, so I didn't dare to say anything. Even now I still don't dare to say anything, but Tianya is gone. You can finally understand what those people wanted to do when they surrounded our shack? Manager Xu came to save us but was followed by those people. You don't know anything, nothing."
He wiped his tears and spoke incoherently: "Why did Shopkeeper Xu save us? Uncle Xu is not a real peddler. Why did he risk coming to our village every day? Why were we able to exchange pheasants for food and money to treat mother's illness? It was my eldest brother who always asked the Xu family to take care of us. Without my eldest brother, we would have died somewhere long ago. We might have died before entering the city, or in the county town, and died exactly the same way as Tian Ya, or even more tragically. We would never have the life we have now."
As he spoke, he started crying.
Shen Yin also cried: "Brother, I understand. I won't let this foolish thought come true again."
Chen Tie didn't quite know why his elder brother was so sad. He was confused by the words that came one after another like heavy rain. He only said what he could understand, and pulled Shen Jin's sleeve and said, "Brother, don't cry. My elder brother and sister-in-law, my second brother and my elder sister treated me well. I remember everything."
Perhaps this sentence was the greatest comfort to Shen Jin at this moment. The corners of his mouth rose and he nodded: "Yes, remember it, remember it for the rest of your life."
"We all almost died in the county. We can't forget those days just because we have a few good days. Only by not forgetting the suffering can we not forget the kindness."
Shen Jin cried as he spoke these many words. These words were only a consciousness in his mind before, but today, as he advised and taught his two younger brothers, they became like flowing water, from being blocked to being unblocked and finally flowing smoothly.
It was at this time that Shen Jin finally realized what was bothering him.
It's not just the nightmare in the county town, nor is it just the little thoughts hidden deep in my heart that I dare not speak of but were revealed by Wang Chunniang. What is hidden deeper is the inability to face my former self.
Only when you have experienced the feeling of starving to death will you know how cruel his parents were at that time. But are they the only ones who are cruel? How could he not be cruel too? In the months after the separation, did the life of Dasao, Xiaoan, and Aning really have a better life than he had in the previous months?
Xiaoyin and Xiaotie can be said to be small, but is he small?
At that time, he never thought that his father and mother would starve Shen An and Shen Ning to death. After all, they gave them food and they would always give them some food every few days. Everyone in the village was still able to live. He had no idea that people would starve to death. He gave alms with a smile. How could he really treat Shen An and Shen Ning as brothers?
What he has always known but never dared to face is his former self. The better his elder brother, his wife, and Xiao An and Aning treat him, the more he dares not face his former self.
Thinking of himself breaking down and cursing Wang Chunniang for not worthy of living such a good life here, Shen Jin buried his face in the backs of his wet hands. Did he deserve it?
He doesn't deserve it either.
This cognition, which had long taken root in his heart but had been suppressed by him and dared not sprout, finally broke through the barrier at this moment, grew in an instant, and slammed into Shen Jin's heart and ears.
…
It is extremely painful to puncture the abscess and squeeze out the pus and blood inside, but the abscess in the Lu family did not even have a chance to be squeezed out at this moment.
As soon as Chen An left, Lu Dalang took a few steps forward to plead for mercy, but Mrs. Lu didn't even give him a chance. She only asked Lu Danniu, who had been crying quietly, to tell him word for word what crazy things her mother had said.
Lu Danniu was at a loss for words. She buried her head for a long time and didn't dare to open her mouth.
Mrs. Lu looked at her for a long time and nodded, "Filial piety, you don't want to say it, or it's too hard to say it?"
Seeing that she was still silent, Mrs. Lu was also tired: "Okay."
She nodded and stood up, saying, "The farming season cannot be missed, go harvest the rice, this is all you can do in the valley."
He really left after saying that. If it weren't for his unsteady gait and hunched shoulders, I would have thought she didn't care at all.
But the more Mrs. Lu acted like this, the more afraid Lu Dalang became. He followed his parents absent-mindedly, watching the old couple numbly cutting the rice one by one. Lu Dalang almost let the sickle fall into his hands several times. Every time the sun set a little, he felt terrified.
When the farm work was over and they returned to the cave, there was no time for dinner, so Lu Dalang knelt down in front of Mrs. Lu and said, "Mother, please spare Chunniang this time. Can I block her mouth from now on?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Wang Chunniang in the small cave looked over.
Is Wang Chunniang afraid?
She was afraid at first, but now seeing Lu Dalang like this, and seeing how Lu Dalang said he would lock her up and deal with her, she inexplicably felt a sense of relief in her heart.
This is her man. If she thought he was going to save her last time, she would be a fool to believe him this time.
Lu Dalang didn't save her at all. He just wanted to beat her up so that he could save himself and avoid being kicked out. She should have seen it clearly earlier.
Wang Chunniang calmed down again. She sat on the narrow bed and leaned against the wall of the cave. She watched Lu Dalang kneeling and begging the old woman. The corners of her mouth raised, and she felt a twisted sense of relief in her heart.
Cry or beg, neither of them is a good person. How can she be the only one to suffer?
…
Lu Dalang has turned to his father for help again, repeating the same thing over and over again.
"How can I forgive you?" Mrs. Lu was exhausted after a whole day and hadn't even had a sip of water. She asked him in a hoarse voice.
He asked but didn't point at him to answer. He just sighed, "Boss, each of us should be responsible for our own actions, or even for our own inactions. We can't always just ask others to accommodate you, treat you leniently, and forgive you. It's okay once or twice, but there's an old saying, you can do it once or twice, but not three times."
When she said this, she looked at the five children, big and small, behind Lu Dalang. Shuanzhu and the others were okay, Huzi was ten years old, and the youngest Shitou was only seven years old.
Seven years old.
But Shen Jin was only eight years old last year, and even now, Shen Yin is only seven years old, and Shen Tie is six years old? Not to mention Tian Ya.
Mrs. Lu closed her eyes and murmured, "I am also paying the price for not disciplining you well."
The decision had been made long ago. Granny Lu looked at her grandchildren one by one, and finally set her sights on the largest tie-post and iron pillar. She said, "What do you think? Are you the same as your father? Are you going to let it go just because you ask me to let you go?"
Neither brother spoke.
Mrs. Lu raised the corner of her mouth, not knowing whether it could be considered as relief.
She found a stool and sat down, saying, "Just don't beg me like your father did. You heard what Shen Jin said this afternoon, right? Their parents were not human beings at the beginning, and they, the brothers and sisters, were Shen Lie's cousins, but they were not brought into this valley. How can you be an exception? You let me off lightly once or twice, and you dare to point to the third time?"
"Pack up now. When your second and third uncles come back, I will ask Dashan to send your whole family away."
As soon as these words came out, Lu Dalang was completely paralyzed. Wang Chunniang, who had been watching the fun with a twisted smile on her face, also froze her smile on her face. She stood up and put her hands on the wooden fence: "What did you say?"
Mrs. Lu looked at her and said, "I told you all to leave. When you were jumping up and down like this, didn't you think about this day?"
Wang Chunniang's breathing became heavier. "How dare you? Aren't you afraid that I will reveal the location of the valley?"
Mrs. Lu smiled: "So you have someone to rely on, so you dare to make trouble? Don't worry, if I dare to let you go, I won't give you the chance to harm others."
She looked at Lu Dalang: "Do you mean that too?"
Lu Dalang shook his head like a rattle: "Mom, no, I definitely didn't mean that. Mom, it's Chunniang's fault. Can you just send Chunniang away? The child is still so young, how can you bear it?"
After hearing this, Mrs. Lu looked at Lu Dalang and said, "Then you go out with her?"
Lu Dalang suddenly became speechless.
Mrs. Lu no longer wanted to look at him, so she turned to look at Shuanzhu and the others: "What about you, Shuanzhu?"
Shuanzhu kept looking at his parents twice, watching them and listening to what they said, as if he had completely forgotten those two faces. Only when his grandmother looked at him did he come to his senses and said, "Grandma, I didn't."
Mrs. Lu nodded and said, "That's good. It's easy to stay in this valley like a coward, but you brothers and sisters will never be able to straighten your spine again in this life. I'll ask you one last time, do you want to stay in this valley to save your life, or go out and give yourself and your brothers and sisters a chance to straighten your bent bones?"
The younger ones couldn't understand, but Shuanzhu knew what his grandma meant. He looked at his brothers and sisters beside him and nodded: "I'll listen to grandma."
Mrs. Lu's eyes felt a little sore and the corners of her lips twitched, revealing the only smile that could barely be considered a smile so far this afternoon.
"Okay, just follow my instructions and leave."
Wang Chunniang was going crazy: "Old pious woman, you are so vicious. Those are your grandchildren, five grandchildren! The roots of your Lu family!"
Granny Lu turned a deaf ear to her and just looked at her eldest grandson and said, "Good boy, your parents have no choice, but you can be a man of integrity. Grandma won't harm you and will ask your uncle to find you a relatively safe place. The road ahead will be a little harder, but it will definitely be a wider road. You and Tiezhu should be good, discipline your parents, and teach your brothers and sisters well."
Shuanzhu shed tears and nodded.
He didn't know what path his grandmother wanted him to take, but he believed in her.
The thing that had been weighing heavily on him and making him unable to breathe since he entered the valley seemed to finally loosen a little at this moment.
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