Chu Yan felt such a dull pain in his chest that he could hardly speak, as if he had returned to that time again.
"During that time, I was in so much pain that I wanted to kill everyone. But I had to digest this pain alone and couldn't tell anyone. But just when I was about to swallow my anger, you told me that you were pregnant."
Chu Yan finally choked up when he said this.
"Yue'er, if you were this king, what would you do?"
He spoke in a desolate voice, as if the pain and despair still arose when he mentioned it.
"Yue'er, I'm your brother Ayan, your husband, but I'm also a man... How can I bear it and accept this child?"
The ice and snow in his eyes almost solidified into substance.
Just saying these words makes people feel suffocated.
"Yue'er, I'm in so much pain. I didn't protect you well. I blame myself, but you're pregnant. This makes me desperate. I can't keep that child!"
Chu Yan let out a long breath, his eyes filled with sorrow.
Qing Yue trembled slightly, her eyes red. All the memories that she had deliberately forgotten came roaring back in Chu Yan's narration, and she dreamed of that day.
She went to Chu Yan shyly but with some surprise, and whispered in his ear that she was pregnant.
She thought Chu Yanyan was happy, would be stunned, and would pick her up... But she never expected that his face changed drastically, and in an instant his eyes were ice-cold, as if he wanted to eat her.
"Yue'er, go back first. I'll come find you in the evening."
These were the last words Chu Yan said to her before she died.
She returned with a heart full of trepidation and confusion. Why did Brother Yan react like this? He didn't seem happy. Did he dislike their child?
She even waited until night, but did not see Brother Ayan, as he had broken his promise.
Then, the next day, she was tricked by Qing Yunyao and taken to the top of Luoye Mountain, where she died.
On the day of her death, she was filled with anger, confusion, and resentment. She finally found out why Chu Yan didn't come that night. It turned out that he was with Qing Yunyao. Before she died, she also found out that it wasn't Chu Yan that night, and the child was a beggar's...
That's why she resented her rebirth.
…
Chu Yan looked at Qing Yue in front of him. She looked different, but the stubborn and tearful look on her face was the same as before, which looked heartbreaking.
"You came to me excitedly and told me you were pregnant, but this news was like a bolt from the blue. It instantly consumed all my rationality. I had only one thought: this child must die! So I let you go. I said I'd find you at night! But it was this night... Yue'er, it was this night that made me miss you forever."
Chu Yan sneered.
He endured all the bitter consequences, but lost everything in the end.
"I'm so confused, so confused I'm completely desperate. The only way to abort the baby in your belly is to drink abortion pills. But you know medicine. If I gave you a bowl of that medicine, what would you think of me? You would definitely hate me and force me to tell you the truth, but how could I tell you? If I told you the truth, it would be over between us!"
Because I know you too well. If you knew the truth, you would leave me.
"That night, I nearly collapsed. I had no outlet for the pain in my heart, and I didn't dare look for you. I didn't know how to face you. I could only drink to drown my sorrows. I drank and drank... until I lost consciousness and fell into Qing Yunyao's trap. I was also infected with the love poison!"
Chu Yan closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and swallowed the overwhelming regret.
"This drunken stupor left me unconscious for a day and two nights. It was during this time that Qing Yunyao killed you and then turned into your appearance..."
Everyone knows what happened afterwards. Qing Yue was attacked at home and kidnapped by assassins. She was later rescued by Qing Yunyao. She was severely injured and lost her memory... She was in a coma for many days before waking up.
But no one knew that the person who "woke up" at that time was Qing Yunyao.
"Yue'er, from the beginning to the end, I never stopped loving you, and I never really betrayed you. I married Qing Yunyao because I was infected with the love poison and thought she was you..."
"I love you, and that has never changed from the beginning to the end. But the day I found out the truth, you sentenced me to death! Yue'er, am I not innocent?"
Chu Yan's voice was extremely hoarse and his eyes were filled with tears.
Qing Yue pursed her lips, tears streaming down her face, her heart aching.
She actually knows everything, she has always known...
Between her and Chu Yan, no one had ever been truly wrong.
"Yue'er, Brother Yan has never changed his heart, it's you who has changed..."
Finally, Chu Yan said the words that made him most desperate.
"You said you couldn't accept my past with Qing Yunyao, but you knew clearly that none of this was my wish. And Feng Ling, he clearly had a night with Qin Ningyue, and you were willing to accept it, but it was just that he won your heart! Yue'er, how can you let me let go? How can I not be in pain?
"You said that even without Feng Ling, you and I would never be together, but...what did I do wrong?"
Chu Yan asked.
The whole person was shrouded in an atmosphere of despair.
"Yue'er, you even forgot...what day it is today..."
His last sentence was so low that it was almost inaudible.
But Qingyue froze, and then she felt like she was hit hard by a punch. She raised her eyes suddenly and looked at Chu Yan standing there. He was such a noble, cold and indifferent person, but now he looked dejected. She suddenly burst into tears. She finally remembered that today was Chu Yan's birthday.
What is she doing?
Perhaps it was because Qingyue's face was too pale, Chu Yan couldn't bear it after all, "Yue'er, it's okay."
I mean, she left all her pain to him alone, it's okay.
Or, she forgot his birthday, it's okay.
Feng Ling raised his hand to wipe the tears from Qingyue's face. Qingyue turned her head away, but was held down by him forcefully. In most cases, he would only give in to you if he was willing to pamper you, but deep down, he was always the arrogant, strong and noble Prince You.
And Chu Yan's confession tonight made Qing Yue no longer able to question him about what he had said to Feng Ling.
She stood there, suddenly feeling powerless.
"Did he ask for a divorce from you tonight?"
In the end, it was Chu Yan who took the initiative to open this topic.
Qing Yue pursed her lips and looked up at him. Her eyes were red and looked a little pitiful. She nodded, "Yeah."
"Did you tell him what you said tonight?"
Qing Yue asked.
She was still hurt by Chu Yan's confession.
So what about A Ling?
Chu Yan didn't respond, only saying, "Tonight, I will attack Feng Ling, beat him, and hurt him, and I won't regret it."
The moonlight was dim and hazy, casting shadows on the trees in the courtyard.
Qing Yue raised her hand and wiped away her tears. She said, "Brother Chu Yan, I have failed you... I am sorry for you, but I... still want to be with Feng Ling."
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