Chapter 134 IF - Pei Line (8): I'll be insanely jealous
Yun Zhan slept soundly that night.
She woke up again in the early hours of the morning. She felt a little thirsty and brushed her messy hair behind her back with one hand. Turning her head, she saw the thermos that Pei Yanxi had placed on the bedside table.
Yun Zhan snapped out of his reverie, his expression complicated as he looked at the thermos: "They're right, you really are suited for dating... but I..."
She couldn't ignore Pei Yanxi's obvious concern, and Yun Zhan couldn't bring himself to trample on her sincerity. She opened the thermos, which was still steaming inside. She took a small sip; it wasn't too hot, just right for drinking.
What exactly are her feelings for Pei Yanxi right now? Yun Zhan shook her head; she didn't know either. Her feelings were somewhat complicated.
"Pei Yanxi played this two hours ago. You were sleeping soundly then, so I didn't disturb you." 21 interjected, "Senior actually... did something else too, cough cough, do you want to know?"
Two hours earlier, 21 witnessed Pei Yanxi opening Yun Zhan's door.
midnight...
The doorknob of Yun Zhan's bedroom was slowly pressed down, the sound of the metal latch retracting echoed through the air, finally dissolving into the thick darkness of the night, the sound almost inaudible.
The door was pushed open a crack, and Pei Yanxi stepped in. She gently closed the door behind her and only let go completely after locking it.
She didn't turn on the light.
The room was dark, with only a few faint rays of moonlight filtering through the gaps in the blinds, barely outlining the furniture.
Pei Yanxi stood in the darkness for a few seconds, letting her eyes adjust to the dimness.
Soon, the outline of the bed became clear in her vision, like a quiet, isolated island waiting for her to dock.
The air was filled with Yun Zhan's unique scent, a clean soapberry fragrance and a faint, warm aroma emanating from her body.
During the day, Pei Yanxi dared not approach, but the longing in her heart grew stronger. The scent strangely relaxed her tense nerves, which had been taut all day, but it also allowed a deeper desire to slowly rise from the bottom of her heart.
She took off her slippers, and barefoot, she stepped onto the cold wooden floor, moving silently step by step to the bedside.
Every step felt like stepping on my own heartbeat.
Pei Yanxi stood by her bedside, her gaze slowly sweeping over Yun Zhan's face.
Yun Zhan lay on her side, curled up in a defenseless position, her fine black hair scattered on the snow-white pillow, making her face appear even smaller and paler. In the moonlight, Yun Zhan's breathing was steady and long. In her sleep, all the wariness she had shown during the day had been shed, leaving only pure, fragile tenderness.
So beautiful.
Like a flawless work of art.
Pei Yanxi's throat began to dry. She stuck out her tongue and slowly, with an almost intoxicating fascination, licked her dry lips.
At this moment, she was no longer the glamorous eldest daughter of the Pei family. She peeled away all the respectable exteriors, revealing the most despicable thoughts inside. She suddenly felt like a rat living in the gutter, as despicable as ever, yet unable to suppress her covetousness for the cleanest and sweetest cheese in the shop window.
She knew she might not be worthy, knew her love was twisted, and would taint her.
But she couldn't control herself.
Goodnight, Yunzhan.
Driven by an immense longing, Pei Yanxi slowly bent over, her shadow completely enveloping Yun Zhan.
Pei Yanxi reached out and brushed aside her fallen hair, held her breath, and with a movement as gentle as a feather, pressed her lips to those soft lips.
Yun Zhan's lips were a little cold; it was just a fleeting kiss, yet it made Pei Yanxi's heart pound like a drum.
Just as she was about to get up, Yun Zhan, who was still asleep, seemed to sense something, his brows furrowed slightly, and he let out a muffled cough.
Her hand waved unconsciously in the air, as if trying to drive away something bothersome.
This action caused Pei Yanxi's body to freeze instantly.
Instead of dodging, she reached out and precisely grasped Yun Zhan's struggling, raised hand. Yun Zhan's wrist was slender, and she held it firmly in her palm.
Pei Yanxi's heart was pounding; she was afraid Yun Zhan would wake up.
She took Yun Zhan's hand and guided it through the gap in her pajamas, finally placing that soft, limp hand on the soft, full skin of his chest.
"This is my heart; without you, it will not beat."
Through the thin fabric, Yun Zhan's fingertips touched the violently beating heart.
Pei Yanxi's breathing became rapid. Yun Zhan wanted to pull back, but she wouldn't let go, forcing it to remain pressed against her heart.
"...It's yours."
Pei Yanxi murmured to herself in a dreamlike voice that only she could hear.
Everything I have... belongs to you.
...
"Okay, I've said everything. She didn't do anything, she just came over and kissed you."
After saying this, Yun Zhan's feelings became even more complicated. She touched her lips that had been kissed, and it seemed that... Pei Yanxi's rose scent really did linger on them.
She really needs to think carefully about her relationship with Pei Yanxi.
In the early morning, the aroma of hand-ground coffee mingles with the wheat scent of toasted bread in the restaurant.
Pei Yanxi sat at the head of the table, her posture as elegant as ever.
Today she wore a well-tailored black V-neck silk top with a neckline that was just right, showing off her delicate collarbone while maintaining an elegant demeanor.
A pair of thin, gold-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, his gaze behind the lenses focused intently on the financial newspaper in his hands. He picked up the bone china coffee cup beside him, took a small sip, and appeared calm and composed.
Yun Zhan was momentarily dazed, his thoughts returning to the time when he took a posture class with Pei Yanxi.
Back then, the senior students were impeccably dressed, and they were just as elegant, proud, and self-possessed.
Yun Zhan sat down opposite her, silently drank two sips of milk, and then looked up.
Did you kiss me last night?
Without questioning or dodging, Yun Zhan's tone was as calm as if he were stating a fact.
Pei Yanxi's hand holding the coffee cup paused in mid-air for a moment, just a moment, so fast that it was almost imperceptible.
She slowly put down the cup, making a soft, crisp sound.
Instead of looking at the newspaper, she raised her eyes and looked directly at Yun Zhan, her gaze passing over the top edge of her gold-rimmed glasses.
The lenses reflected the morning light, making her deep eyes appear somewhat unfathomable.
"Yes, it's me."
Her voice was steady and low, without the slightest hesitation or apology, as if she were admitting not to a despicable stolen kiss, but to a trivial matter that was perfectly reasonable.
She was like a beast in human clothing, admitting her worst behavior with the most elegant demeanor.
Yun Zhan seemed surprised that she would admit it so readily.
She tightened her grip on the milk cup and continued, "Senior, can you tell me why? Why... do you like me so much?"
Pei Yanxi was stunned.
"Why?"
Pei Yanxi softly repeated these three words, a faint, self-deprecating smile curving her lips.
She took off her glasses and casually placed them on the table. Without the lenses to conceal them, the intense, almost painful emotions that had been suppressed for so long in her eyes could no longer be hidden.
"Does liking something need a reason, Yun Zhan?"
She spoke each word clearly and forcefully, emphasizing each syllable.
"I don't want to drift apart from you, not even for a second. So I apologize to you first."
Pei Yanxi's gaze was fixed on Yun Zhan, with an almost cruel honesty: "I don't even have the courage to kiss you openly when you're awake. I'm afraid of your rejection, afraid of seeing the disgust in your eyes. So I can only use this shady way, like a thief, to secretly covet you while you're asleep, just wanting to taste a little bit... even just a tiny bit of sweetness from you."
As she finished speaking, Pei Yanxi's voice became slightly hoarse.
Yun Zhan listened in silence, without saying a word. This silence gave Pei Yanxi the courage to continue and the determination to completely dismantle all her defenses.
“I know it’s shameful and morbid, but I can’t control myself.”
"Yun Zhan, I'm not asking for your opinion, I'm just stating a fact: I like you, I like you very stubbornly. This liking isn't the kind of liking between high school girls who just hold hands, but the liking of wanting to spend my whole life with you."
Her gaze was frighteningly intense, as if it could burn through Yun Zhan's soul.
"I want to marry you, I want our names on the legal documents, and I want you to be the first person I see when I wake up every morning. I want you to belong to me completely, and I want everything I have to belong to you."
"I cannot accept you marrying anyone else, no man or woman, not at all."
"The thought of you smiling at other people, being hugged, and being kissed makes me insanely jealous."
Pei Yanxi took a deep breath, her voice filled with a chilling loneliness and obsession: "I've lived alone for over ten years, doing everything by myself. I've gotten used to it, and I've accepted my fate. But then you appeared, Yun Zhan. You showed me that I, too, can yearn for something, yearn for warmth. You can't... you can't ignite me and then turn around to illuminate others. That would be a million times crueler to me than living in darkness from the beginning."
“I often wonder what it will be like after I get married, whether I will be happy?” Pei Yanxi took a sip of coffee and continued, “But now, I don’t need to imagine anymore, because I already know what it feels like. With you, my life feels like life.”
The entire restaurant was silent, except for Pei Yanxi's voice echoing.
She dug out the deepest, most intense, obsessive, and hidden love in her heart, and laid it bare before Yun Zhan.
This is not a confession.
Pei Yanxi was telling Yun Zhan in this way: Look, I love you hopelessly... So, don't even think about escaping.
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