Chapter 148 if-Pei Line (22): I will take responsibility for you.
The warmth pressing against her from behind made Yun Zhan stiffen slightly. Pei Yanxi's warm breath brushed against the back of her neck, carrying a faint scent of wine.
Pei Yanxi hugged her from behind...
The amazing softness of her chest pressed tightly against Yun Zhan's back, and through his thin nightgown, the sensation was so clear that it made Yun Zhan's heart tremble.
Pei Yanxi leaned in, her slender, soft arms tentatively wrapping around Yun Zhan's waist.
“Yun Zhan”.
Pei Yanxi's voice was soft, slightly hoarse from a hangover, with a barely perceptible hint of dependence and grievance in the last syllable: "Give me a hug."
Yun Zhan's throat moved, and the embarrassment and panic in his heart that made him want to escape was instantly replaced by a more complex emotion.
She had never seen Pei Yanxi so insecure and vulnerable. After hesitating for a moment, she slowly turned around and met Pei Yanxi's slightly reddened eyes.
Yun Zhan raised his hand and awkwardly hugged the other person back.
This was a real hug; they... rarely hugged each other like this.
Pei Yanxi's lips curled up slightly, greatly encouraged by Yun Zhan's actions. She suddenly tightened her arms and then buried her face deeply in Yun Zhan's shoulder, like a weary bird that had finally found its nest.
"Don't go..." Pei Yanxi's voice was hoarse, "Don't go, Yun Zhan... please?"
Yun Zhan could feel the person in her arms trembling slightly. She subconsciously raised her hand and gently stroked Pei Yanxi's soft, long hair.
In the instant she lowered her head, her gaze inadvertently swept over Pei Yanxi's slightly turned neck.
On that fair and delicate skin, as white as cold jade, several glaring red marks were clearly imprinted.
Her hair was as black as ink, her skin as white as cream, and there was a kiss mark as vibrant as cinnabar.
The three colors created an extreme contrast, carrying a hidden yet unrestrained meaning that crashed into Yun Zhan's eyes.
Her breath hitched, her heart skipped a beat and then began to pound uncontrollably, as if trying to break free from the confines of her chest.
Those are... marks left by her when she lost control last night.
Yun Zhan's cheeks instantly burned, and even his ears turned red.
She felt a little guilty and inexplicably palpitated. Her gaze seemed to have been burned, and she awkwardly looked away, but she couldn't erase the blush-inducing image from her mind.
Yun Zhan's heart was pounding wildly. The bright red kiss mark seemed to burn with heat... so hot that she dared not look at it anymore and could only hurriedly shift her gaze elsewhere.
However, the next second, she caught a glimpse of a scene that terrified her even more.
Beside the two, on the pure white bed sheet, a small patch of dark red bloodstain had spread out, like a red plum blossom suddenly blooming in the snow, both glaring and shocking.
Yun Zhan's mind went completely blank for a moment.
She instinctively tightened her grip on Pei Yanxi's arm, so much so that the person in her arms felt a slight pain.
Pei Yanxi frowned and gave a disgruntled snort.
Yun Zhan's voice was hoarse with nervousness, revealing obvious helplessness and panic: "I'm sorry... Was I too rude?"
She paused, struggling to find the right words, her eyes darting away from Pei Yanxi's face, only staring at the bloodstain, her voice growing softer and softer: "You seem to be... bleeding."
"I don't have much experience, and I got drunk again last night. I'm sorry... It must hurt a lot."
These words were spoken haltingly, and the apology sounded particularly awkward coming from Yun Zhan's mouth, carrying a kind of clumsiness and guilt from someone new to the world.
She was clearly the one who slept with Pei Yanxi... the one who was more dominant, yet now she was acting like a child who had done something wrong, panicked and at a loss.
On the contrary, Pei Yanxi, who was clearly the one suffering, handled the situation much more maturely and calmly than her.
She slightly raised her head from Yun Zhan's embrace and followed his stiff gaze. When she saw that splash of red, her eyelashes trembled slightly, and her ears flushed slightly, but her expression was much calmer than Yun Zhan's.
She even turned around and gently patted Yun Zhan's tense back, her voice soft and reassuring: "It's okay."
Yun Zhan looked at her blankly.
Pei Yanxi's eyes were open and clear as she softly explained, "You didn't trim your nails, that's... normal."
She paused, as if feeling that this wasn't enough, and added, "This is my first time too, I won't do it again."
After saying that, she lowered her eyes and looked at the red mark again.
That was not only proof of the pain, but also a mark that marked the crossing of the final boundary between them.
A secret and strange sense of satisfaction quietly spread through her heart.
Actually, she was inexplicably a little happy.
That glaring red color burned into Yun Zhan's heart like a branding iron, making it impossible for her to avoid it.
She really slept with her senior... Their relationship can never go back to what it was before.
We can't be friends, we can't be seniors or juniors... we can only be lovers, or... part ways forever.
Looking at Pei Yanxi's profile in her arms, which was calm yet tinged with a hint of shyness, Yun Zhan felt a tightness in her throat. She couldn't bear to abandon her senior.
"Senior...I will take responsibility for you."
At this moment, the only way Yun Zhan could think of to make up for his out-of-control behavior last night was...
However, just as Yun Zhan finished speaking, Pei Yanxi keenly caught a fleeting look of helplessness deep in her eyes.
It was an emotion intertwined with confusion and struggle, still wavering?
Pei Yanxi's heart skipped a beat, but she didn't say anything. She sighed softly; her little one was still wavering between going home and staying... This promise might be more out of guilt than a well-thought-out choice.
Pei Yanxi's fingertips were cool, but her palms were warm. She gently stroked Yun Zhan's hand with her fingertips, her beautiful cat eyes staring at Yun Zhan's knuckles.
"You slept with me."
She raised her eyes, looking straight into Yun Zhan's eyes: "In this life... I can't accept anyone else but you."
Pei Yanxi enveloped Yun Zhan in her gentle voice, weaving a cage around him with herself, leaving him nowhere to escape.
Pei Yanxi changed the subject, returning the choice to Yun Zhan. Her tone was calm and almost transparent: "Whether you choose to stay or leave, I respect your decision."
She watched as Yun Zhan's expression subtly changed in response to her words, and continued unhurriedly, "Yun Zhan, after you go home, you'll have your own little house and social circle, everything you're familiar with."
"And you chose to stay here."
Pei Yanxi tightened her fingertips slightly, allowing Yun Zhan to clearly feel her presence. "You can obtain immense wealth and..."
She paused slightly, her eyes glistening with tears, and her voice took on a captivating, tender quality.
"...a woman who loves you."
"You can have her, control her, and get everything from her, making her bloom only for you and accompany you for the rest of your life."
"good."
Yun Zhan didn't say anything, just nodded, hiding the hesitation in his eyes.
It's not that she doesn't know what to choose, it's that she lacks an excuse.
I lack an excuse to convince myself not to go home.
"Senior, I'll go out and buy you something to eat first. We'll talk later..."
Pei Yanxi watched her hurriedly get dressed and go out to buy breakfast, the door clicking shut shut the whole world out.
Silence returned to the room, leaving only the lingering ambiguous atmosphere in the air.
Pei Yanxi slowly sat up, the soreness in her body a reminder of the madness of the previous night.
She walked barefoot to the low cabinet beside the bed, and with an inscrutable gaze, pulled open the bottom drawer.
Inside lay a velvet box, which, when opened, revealed a pair of exquisite platinum anklets. The chains were delicate, covered in soft cashmere, and their clasps shimmered brilliantly in the morning light.
The anklet's clasp is extremely complex and cannot be unlocked without a key.
Next to the anklet was an inconspicuous little brown medicine bottle containing a drug that could make a person lose all strength and the ability to resist without them even realizing it.
She had prepared all of this long ago.
It was prepared for Yun Zhan.
She wanted to lock Yun Zhan up, chain her ankles with these anklets, and use drugs to wear down her edges, so that she could no longer struggle, could no longer leave her, and could only stay in this room... on this bed, becoming her possession forever.
The idea was both crazy and so tempting.
Pei Yanxi's fingertips gently brushed across the cool chain, and she could almost imagine it fastening to Yun Zhan's fair ankle.
However, at that very moment, a tremendous fear spread.
Pei Yanxi's fingers trembled suddenly. The girl lowered her eyes, her long eyelashes casting a fragile shadow on her face. A tear fell unexpectedly, wetting the velvet box.
Pei Yanxi closed her eyes, her shoulders trembling slightly... her voice broken as she muttered to herself, her tone heavy with a nasal twitch: "But... if she doesn't love me... there's nothing I can do..."
She felt truly powerless.
"If you sleep with me... and still don't love me..."
Pei Yanxi choked back tears, a single tear sliding down her cheek: "What can I use to comfort myself?"
What was gained in exchange for chains and drugs was merely a soulless shell and a false sense of companionship.
That Yun Zhan would no longer have light in his eyes, would no longer smile at her, and would no longer love her.
Day after day, all she faced was a captive, resentful puppet.
And she herself will be driven mad by this unrequited love...
To satisfy one's own selfish desires, or to retain the last shred of reason and dignity?
Pei Yanxi struggled and agonized repeatedly in pain.
She loved Yun Zhan so much that she wanted to meld her into her very bones and possess her entirely; but she was also afraid, afraid that this love would become the sharpest knife, ultimately leaving them both scarred.
Sometimes she wanted to lock Yun Zhan away at all costs, and other times she was terrified by the terrible consequences.
Reason and desire were tearing her apart in a frenzy, almost ripping her apart.
Finally, through her teary eyes, her gaze fell on the dried, dark red stain on the bed sheet.
That was the most intimate proof of their relationship.
It was her last bargaining chip.
Suddenly, an idea even bolder and more resolute than imprisonment by chains cleaved through her chaotic thoughts like a thunderbolt.
The thought sent a jolt through her, and she even stopped breathing.
—What if…what if there were a child? A child with both of their blood flowing through their veins.
This child will be a bond stronger than any chain, the sweetest yet most inescapable shackle that will forever bind Yun Zhan to her side.
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