Chapter 67
The nightlight was reduced to a tiny speck of light, floating in the corner like a star that someone had carelessly dropped.
Shi Mingyue's fingertips trembled as she pressed the headlight switch. With a soft "click," it seemed as if she had shut off all her escape routes.
She stepped barefoot back onto the carpet, her palm resting on Yun Zhan's waist. The lines of his waist were faintly visible under the thin blanket, like a hidden edge in the snow.
Shi Mingyue held her breath, her hand slowly moving up her waistline, the back of her fingers brushing against her collarbone and then sliding to her shoulder blade, her movements so clumsy that even she felt her ears burning.
“Yun Zhan…”
She called out very softly, but the last syllable was damp, like the first raindrop of a spring night falling on a bronze mirror, making a tinkling sound.
The skin beneath her fingertips gradually warmed up, but she dared not exert any force, only using her knuckles to lightly trace the lines, as if depicting a fragile silk painting.
With each inch she moved, her heart skipped a beat, and the lace on her chest swayed gently, brushing against Yun Zhan's arm and causing a slight itch. That itch traveled up her bloodstream, reaching her throat and almost making her choke.
Yun Zhan woke up amidst this chaotic breathing.
Her eyelashes fluttered, her vision initially blurred before focusing. Close at hand was a half-hidden smoky gray lace dress. Moonlight streamed in through the window, sliding down Shi Mingyue's shoulder line and tracing a soft, bright arc across her chest, like the first rays of dawn on a snow-capped peak.
Shi Mingyue's black hair fell down, the ends brushing against Yun Zhan's neck, carrying the warm fragrance of her bath, and colliding with the night breeze.
Yun Zhan rubbed his sleeping face, his voice still hoarse from just waking up: "...What are you going to do?"
In short, there was three parts doubt, seven parts indifference, and no trace of being swayed by Shi Mingyue.
Shi Mingyue's fingertips suddenly stopped, and he froze above her.
Her inherent reserve returned with a jolt, and she gripped the bedsheet tightly, her knuckles turning white, as if it were the only piece of driftwood she could find.
Under the moonlight, the tips of her ears were so red they were almost transparent. Her lips opened and closed repeatedly, but no sound came out.
Deep down, she was still reserved and couldn't bring herself to do these seductive things so casually. Last time in the illusion, she was afraid that Yun Zhan would leave, so she didn't care about anything else and just wanted to keep Yun Zhan there.
All of Shi Mingyue's courage had been exhausted by the gentle caress just now. Now, all that remained were a pair of wet eyes as she timidly looked at Yun Zhan, pleading silently: "Yun Zhan, I've come this far. Can you take the initiative for the rest?"
The nightlight curled up in the corner like an orange star, its halo as thin as a veil, just covering the edge of the bed.
Shi Mingyue hovered above Yun Zhan, her black hair falling down, the ends brushing against Yun Zhan's collarbone, causing a slight itch.
She held her breath, her heart pounding so loudly it seemed to shatter the air, her eardrums buzzing, and her blood burning all the way to her fingertips.
"Are you really unaware of what I'm doing, Yun Zhan...?"
Shi Mingyue was so anxious she was almost crying, her eyes reddening: "Or do you want me to take the initiative...?"
Unable to bear the silence any longer, Shi Mingyue suddenly leaned down, not slowly approaching, but lunging forward like a moth to a flame, her lips meeting Yun Zhan's.
The teeth clicked together, producing a very soft "click," and the smell of blood instantly filled the air. She ignored the pain and instinctively sucked on that warm, soft spot.
When her tongue probed in, she trembled so much that she could hardly find her way. She could only sweep it haphazardly across Yun Zhan's palate, like writing for the first time, her strokes crooked and twisted, yet stubbornly trying to fill the entire page.
Their saliva mingled, making a soft, watery sound, and she could hear her own heartbeat mixed in, one beat after another, like a chaotic drumbeat.
Before the kiss was even over, she was already out of breath, but she refused to pull away, instead pressing her lips against hers again from a different angle.
This time, she mimicked the response Yun Zhan had given her in her memory, gently biting Yun Zhan's lower lip, her teeth rubbing together, a cautious punishment, as if confirming that this was not a dream.
When the lips parted, a thin, bright silver thread stretched out, flashed briefly in the nightlight, and then broke, like a broken piece of restraint.
She propped herself up, her eyes red and almost bloodshot, yet she stubbornly grasped Yun Zhan's hand. Her fingertips touched the back of Yun Zhan's fingers first, then slid between them. The moment their fingers intertwined, her palms were covered in sweat.
Then, she guided that hand to slowly cover her chest. The lace bra was so thin it was almost non-existent. When Yun Zhan's palm touched it, he was immediately numb by the rapid beating of his heart, each beat like a deer's flutter, vibrating into his bones through the fabric.
“Here,” Shi Mingyue’s voice was hoarse and incoherent, yet filled with a desperate determination, “it’s all because you jumped so fast.”
She dared not look into Yun Zhan's eyes, but buried her face in the crook of his neck, her breath hot and sweet with the scent of rose lip rouge.
Her subordinate stubbornly pressed down on Yun Zhan's palm, not allowing her to move it away: "I like you, respond to me, don't push me away anymore, okay?"
As soon as she finished speaking, she curled up in Yun Zhan's arms.
The moonlight, like a thin layer of frost, quietly covered Yunzhan's shoulders.
She didn't reply, but simply raised her hand to unbutton her clothes, her movements extremely gentle.
The fabric slipped down, revealing a scarlet mark below the collarbone. It was the size of a fingertip, with feather-like edges, like a crushed red spider lily petal embedded in the center of pale skin, strikingly red.
Shi Mingyue froze, her fingertips still hovering in mid-air, her breathing unconsciously becoming lighter.
She slowly approached and touched it with her fingertips; it was icy cold, as if she were pressing a piece of cold jade, devoid of any human warmth.
A chill crept up her fingertips and into her heart. The crimson in Shi Mingyue's eyes instantly faded to deathly white, and her voice trembled: "What...is this?"
I've never seen this thing before when we practiced dual cultivation... how could it suddenly appear?
Yun Zhan let her touch him, his expression as calm as a mirror.
“Hollow.” She spoke calmly, her tone flat. “After I saved you, I lost my heart. Although you replenished my essence, I am still a heartless demon. Demons without hearts cannot be human, so I cannot understand your feelings.”
After Yun Zhan finished dressing, he continued, "I know you all like me. You, Pei Yanxi, Wen Sixue, but I can't understand you right now, so please don't force me to make a choice now."
After saying that, she looked up at Shi Mingyue, the moonlight reflecting into her pupils like two frozen lakes.
"What you want is a promise to grow old together, but right now, I can't get my heart racing, nor can I give you the same amount of joy."
As a demon, Yun Zhan could only rely on her reason to say that she wanted to protect Shi Mingyue.
Yun Zhan took Shi Mingyue's hand and moved it away from his chest, his voice softening considerably: "I don't know how to get my heart back yet, so let's wait, okay? I want to learn how to 'like' before talking about 'forever'."
Tears rolled down her cheeks, stretching into fine silver threads in the moonlight. Shi Mingyue nodded, and each nod felt like a knife tip scraping against her throat.
She choked up, almost speechless: "I'm sorry... I'm the one who made you lose your heart."
Before she could finish speaking, she suddenly grabbed Yun Zhan's hand, her knuckles turning white from the force, and her voice rose sharply, trembling with a near-collapse: "If you really can never find your heart again, does that mean... you'll never be able to like someone again?"
Yun Zhan lowered his eyes, placed his palm on the back of her trembling hand, and simply uttered a soft "Mmm".
She wasn't sure either, since she hadn't experienced it herself, but that's probably what a heartless person is like.
The reply was as soft as snow falling on porcelain, yet it shattered the tears in Shi Mingyue's eyes.
Suddenly, Shi Mingyue moved her knees forward, almost falling to Yun Zhan's knees, her tearful eyes brimming with light: "If... if you are destined to be unable to love, then could you...?"
Shi Mingyue bit her lip, and blood seeped out. She didn't care whether her words were reserved or proper: "Choose me? Marry me... Even if you don't love me, even if you can't love me normally, let me be your nominal home, okay?"
By the end, her voice cracked, like a broken string on a zither.
But as soon as the words left his mouth, he immediately retreated hastily, as if he had been frightened by his own abruptness.
Shi Mingyue nervously gripped the bed sheet, shaking her head repeatedly: "No, I'm not forcing you... I misspoke."
She took a deep breath, but the tears fell even faster. "I just want to tell you that no matter how long it takes, I'll always be here. If you ever turn back, I'll definitely be there, always there to support you."
She let go, bent down, and pressed her forehead against Yun Zhan's hand, as if offering up her last bit of hope.
The moonlight slanted down, and her black hair was scattered on the pale floor, like a piece of ink blurred by water, soft, but unable to withstand being kneaded anymore.
"I understand, I'll think about it carefully." Yun Zhan didn't agree immediately.
Being nominally husband and wife with the same monster is not a good choice.
“I remember that before I saved you, I seriously considered whether I wanted to date a girl, so my first priority was to find your heart.”
Yun Zhan felt that she still wanted to go back to being herself.
"I'll respond to you after I find my true self." Yun Zhan looked at her, the bright moonlight illuminating her scarlet eyes. Shi Mingyue looked into her eyes and nodded as if possessed.
After the lights were turned off, the bedroom was bathed in a damp, dark blue hue.
The two bodies were initially separated neatly, as if each had been measured by an invisible ruler.
The bright moon peeked out from the bed, and the clouds drifted against the back of the pillow, leaving enough space in the middle for another person to lie down.
But as darkness descended, only the sound of breathing remained in the air, sometimes deep, sometimes shallow, like the pulling of the tide.
Shi Mingyue turned to the side in silence, her nose twitching slightly as she followed the cool scent of pine wood mixed with night rain, inching closer. The quilt rustled softly against her skin, like branches breaking under the snow.
First, her fingertips touched the hem of Yun Zhan's clothes, then her forehead pressed against his shoulder blade, and finally she curled up into a small ball and nestled in his arms. Her movements were as light as a cat's, yet they carried a stubborn refusal to turn back.
Yun Zhan felt a weight on her chest as a warm embrace encircled her. Shi Mingyue's arm passed through her waist, their fingers intertwined, locking together without any gap.
She lowered her eyes and saw the moonlight refracting into soft, bright lines on Shi Mingyue's hair, as if drawing an undefended boundary between the two of them. She wanted to move away, but found that his arm, though slender, was stubborn, tightening its grip the more she struggled, as if trying to force his heartbeat into her empty chest.
Yun Zhan sighed silently, and could only let her hug him. He rested the back of his head on the pillow, and his gaze went through the window lattice to the cold moon on the distant tower.
My thoughts drifted into the deeper night.
When she was in trouble before, someone saved her.
The person who saved her whispered in her ear, "Demons have no heart; they can only live for the sake of missions."
Task.
Yun Zhan silently repeated the two words, his eyes gradually turning deep and mysterious in the moonlight.
If you don't have a heart, you can only complete the task. But what happens after you've completed the task?
If the so-called "heart" is not innate, but a reward that needs to be unlocked through tasks, then everything that is missing has a place to go.
The person in her arms nuzzled gently, their forehead resting against her neck like a fledgling bird that had found its nest.
Yun Zhan lowered his eyes and looked at Shi Mingyue's sleeping face. His fingertips silently touched her face. Shi Mingyue was warm, and her skin was real and hot.
She didn't really understand the absolute connection between the female protagonist and the mission. If the mission was about "protection," "redemption," or "being loved," then the three women's affection for her could serve as the key to completing the mission.
With this thought in mind, she closed her eyes, letting the night tide engulf her.
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