But once the arrow is released, there's no turning back. Even though I sensed something was wrong with the person beneath me, the effects of alcohol and the atmosphere, along with various other factors, led to the inevitable outcome...
After it was over, Wang Xiaoxiao struggled weakly to get up from the wooden bed and tried to leave, her steps unsteady.
I sat up immediately and grabbed her hand: "Wait a minute! I have something to say."
Wang Xiaoxiao didn't turn around. With her back to me, she said in an exceptionally cold voice, "I know this isn't your fault. It was something I did intentionally, so you don't need to feel pressured. I will absolutely not tell anyone about this. You can rest assured."
I didn't expect Wang Xiaoxiao to say that to me, and I felt even more uncomfortable. I quickly grabbed her and pulled her to sit on the wooden bed.
"What are you saying? That's not what I meant. I just wanted to tell you that I..."
When Wang Xiaoxiao heard me say this, she suddenly turned around and covered my mouth.
"Zhao Sihai, I know what kind of person you are. You think being with me will hold me back and make me feel guilty, but that's just your opinion. Have you ever thought about what I really want? Forget it, I don't want to get entangled with you anymore. I just want to tell you that I will never be shameless or force you to be with me. You just need to continue living your life peacefully and let things develop as you wish. As for me, you don't need to worry..."
After Wang Xiaoxiao finished speaking, she got up and left my wooden house.
Judging from her footsteps, she must have come down from the wooden building.
I sat frozen on the bed, my body stiff, not knowing what to do. But what's done is done. Am I supposed to pretend nothing happened?
I gritted my teeth, my head throbbing, and it took me a long time to get up and chase after Wang Xiaoxiao.
She was boiling water by the campfire in the yard, and he sat hunched over beside her; clearly, she wasn't in a high mood.
I know this is unfair to Wang Xiaoxiao no matter how you look at it.
I stepped forward, took a piece of wolf skin, and covered Wang Xiaoxiao with it.
"The weather here is getting colder and colder, so please don't catch a cold..."
Hearing what I said, Wang Xiaoxiao turned around, looked at me, smiled, and shook her head: "You don't need to worry. Go back to sleep. Everyone drank a bit too much today. Luckily, I haven't had much to drink. I can watch the campfire and help you keep watch at night. Otherwise, I'd still feel a little uneasy."
"I... I know you like me, but I always feel it's unfair to you if I just accept you like this. But if you can really accept my current situation, I will never let you down, don't worry!"
When Wang Xiaoxiao heard me say that, she was taken aback at first, then she curled the corners of her mouth and shook her head.
"You don't need to feel so much pressure. I want to take a shower. Could you bring me some water?"
When Wang Xiaoxiao said that, my heart skipped a beat. From the time I met her until now, she had always been a carefree girl in my mind, but tonight she completely overturned all my previous impressions of her.
Seeing this, Wang Xiaoxiao nodded excitedly, "Okay, okay, okay, you go in and wait, I'll bring you the water right now."
Wang Xiaoxiao didn't say anything, got up, took a piece of rabbit fur, and went into the wooden house.
I stood outside and mixed the water in a large plastic bucket before carrying the water inside.
When we built this wooden house, we didn't plan to take a bath in it, so we didn't build any shower room or separate room for bathing.
However, since we had built a small storage room here, but later I built another small storage room next to the yard to store food, this one inside the house has been left unused.
Several girls were taking a bath there.
I had never taken care of them before; this was the first time.
I carried the water inside for Wang Xiaoxiao, and she washed the rabbit pelt until it was wet, then stood inside to shower.
I stood awkwardly at the door, but listening to the rushing water inside, my heart kept pounding.
I never imagined that my relationship with Wang Xiaoxiao would develop into what it is now.
But what's done is done, and I have to accept it. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down.
Not long after, Wang Xiaoxiao finished washing up. Her hair was still wet when she came out. I dried her hair for her, and Wang Xiaoxiao leaned weakly on my shoulder. In that instant, I made a decision that I would take care of her no matter what, and I would never let her down.
"Are you hungry? I saved a piece of lamb when we ate it tonight. I'll make you some lamb soup later."
Wang Xiaoxiao's voice was very gentle, and I nodded in agreement. After tossing and turning for most of the night, I was indeed a little hungry.
Wang Xiaoxiao dried her hair, tied it up with a vine, quickly washed her hands, sliced the mutton for me, and then made soup.
Watching Wang Xiaoxiao busy herself with everything, I couldn't help but feel a surge of longing.
If we could really go back to the city now, could the four of us live a peaceful life?
But I also know that if we really go back to the city, there will be many things I can't control. Perhaps we will fall apart, or even become strangers...
I hesitated again. Was going back really a good thing?
"Stop spacing out, come and have some soup. I put bell peppers in it, try it, it should taste pretty good."
As Wang Xiaoxiao spoke, she ladled out a bowl for me. I ate two pieces of meat and drank half a bowl of soup. My stomach warmed up, and my whole body felt warm.
I took a deep breath, watching the campfire flicker and illuminate Wang Xiaoxiao's face, and whispered to her, "I'm sorry for what happened earlier, but don't worry, as long as you stay with me, I will definitely treat you well."
Wang Xiaoxiao was eating from a clay bowl when she heard me say that. She turned to look at me, pursed her lips, and then her eyes reddened.
"Zhao Sihai, I've never longed for any particular treatment from you. I only wanted to see you healthy and safe. Even if your heart isn't with me anymore, I wouldn't ask for anything. I never knew what love was before. But after you got hurt, you went to Xiao Qiang and argued with them, and when you were laughing and joking with Xu Wei and the others, I felt my heart breaking. At that moment, I realized that I love you, and I can be jealous. But now that things have turned out this way, I know it's because of me that things have become so awkward. But don't worry, I'll say it again: I will never pester you too much. As long as you don't like me, we'll still be friends. I won't tell anyone about this!"
Seeing Wang Xiaoxiao like this, I felt more and more that she was just trying to make amends.
My heart ached, so I put down the clay bowl, went forward, and pulled Wang Xiaoxiao into my arms.
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