Chapter 68 Xie Zhili also lives here
Yu Qinghuan placed her palm against Mu Huaian's burning ear, and could even hear his resounding heartbeat, but she couldn't tell whether it was his or her own.
Seeing Mu Huaian's eyes becoming more and more passionate, her face suddenly became hot. She didn't know what she was thinking just now, but she suddenly wanted to kiss him, so she did it.
Now both of them fell silent, and Mu Huaian's eyes were fixed on her again, making Yu Qinghuan's cheeks hot.
She released the hand holding Mu Huaian, coughed lightly, and took the initiative to speak to ease the overly hot atmosphere:
"Xie Zhili also lives in this yard. You'll run into him if you go out now."
"Um."
"I'll excuse you to stay in my room for a while. I'll take you out when no one is around at night."
"No grievance."
During the conversation between the two, Mu Huaian's eyes never left Yu Qinghuan in front of him. He just wanted to keep looking at her like this. He felt that just by looking at her like this, he had an indescribable feeling in his heart, as if a place in his heart was filled.
But he felt that it was not enough, and he wanted more and more, so he kept watching.
Yu Qinghuan felt a little uncomfortable being stared at by him, and asked in confusion, "Why do you always stare at me?"
Mu Huai'an paused and said truthfully, "I want to see it."
Yu Qinghuan was shocked by his frankness and her face turned red. She suddenly felt that the room was a little hot. It must be that the charcoal brazier was burning too strongly. She immediately stood up and wanted to call Sang Ru in.
But before he could stand up, Mu Huaian grabbed his hand.
Mu Huaian's eyes were burning, "Just now we?"
He didn't ask the whole question, but Yu Qinghuan knew what he wanted to ask. After thinking about it, she sat back down.
The space was small and the two people's auras were intertwined.
Mu Huaian's eyes were full of anticipation and a bit of caution. When Yu Qinghuan saw this look, she knew that Mu Huaian was still waiting for her answer.
She sighed, "When I said I wouldn't marry again, it wasn't a reason I made up to reject you."
Mu Huaian did not let go of Yu Qinghuan's hand, knowing that she had something else to say.
After a long while, Yu Qinghuan gathered his thoughts and spoke slowly, "My mother came from an ordinary family. Back then, my father went to Beijing to take the imperial examinations. He fainted from hunger on the side of the road and was rescued by my mother and grandfather. By then, my father had already spent all his money and was destitute."
"My grandfather, already old, wanted to find a good match for my mother. Seeing that my father was quite talented and a student going to Beijing to take the imperial examination, he betrothed my mother to him. Before he died, he gave him all the family savings so that he could go to Beijing to take the exam."
"Later, my father did pass the imperial examination, but when my mother became pregnant, he brought my cousin from my hometown to Beijing, saying he wanted to take a concubine."
"My mother died when she gave birth to me, and my father immediately made his concubine his wife. Since then, he hasn't paid much attention to me. He only cares about my younger sister and brother. A few years ago, his career was not going well, so he wanted to marry me to Shangguan as his second wife to make his career smoother."
Mu Huaian had heard more or less about what Yu Qinghuan said from Xiao Wu, who was beside him. The Yu family did not treat her well.
But hearing her say it herself, I still felt a little sad.
Mu Huaian knew that Yu Qinghuan's tone was flat, but the difficulties of the past ten years could not be explained in just a few words.
Yu Qinghuan continued, "That man was two years older than my father. I didn't want to marry him, so I secretly left the house and went to Jingyuan, where I played a song called "Linjiang".
Having said this, she looked up at Mu Huaian and keenly caught the astonishment in his eyes.
Yu Qinghuan's fingertips suddenly tightened. She had never told anyone about this, but now she told Mu Huaian in person.
Jingyuan is a place where the young men and women of the rich and powerful families in Beijing go to for fun. However, those who play the piano, the pipa and sing music there are not girls from respectable families. They are all there to curry favor with the powerful and rise to higher social status.
She told this story because she wanted Mu Huaian to know that she was not a person who followed the rules, and would even give up everything she could to achieve a goal.
She was not sure whether Mu Huaian would still look at her the same way after he knew it.
Mu Huaian still held her hand tightly, "At that time, I was recuperating in the mansion and no longer went to Jingyuan."
Yu Qinghuan nodded, "That's where I chose Xie Zhiwen."
Mu Huaian asked in an almost hoarse voice, "Because he is the Marquis of Ningyuan?"
Yu Qinghuan shook her head and smiled bitterly, "Because he is the only one who is willing to marry me as his legal wife."
"I thought that by marrying him, I could get away from the Yu family and have a better life, but he died. The Yu family wanted to marry me off to a wealthy merchant family in Linjiang. I heard that man had countless concubines and often frequented brothels. He would even beat his concubines when he was drunk."
When she said this, she thought of her previous life and her eyes dimmed.
"So, in order to stay in the Marquis' Mansion, I went to find Xie Zhili again."
After saying this, Yu Qinghuan looked at Mu Huaian with a steady gaze, "I know they like my face, but beauty ages easily, and life is unpredictable. I already know that relying on marriage to secure love is unreliable."
"Now, I just want to rely on myself. I don't want to marry again. It's okay to seduce others with my beauty in the future, as long as I can gain wealth..."
Yu Qinghuan stopped talking, and a little cold sweat appeared on her palms due to nervousness. She was suddenly afraid that she would see contempt on Mu Huaian's face.
The young master of the Duke Dingguo's Mansion had such noble character that she even felt that just saying these things in front of Mu Huaian was a kind of defilement to him.
But Mu Huaian leaned forward and held her trembling fingertips tightly, "I understand, but you haven't told me the answer yet."
Yu Qinghuan's eyelashes trembled violently, "You still want to know?"
She thought that after she had said so much, Mu Huaian would no longer want to get any answers from her.
But he still insisted, and even his attitude did not change at all.
Mu Huaian said gently, "Your background is not easy. If you don't plan for yourself, how can you sit here? Now if you don't want to marry, then don't marry."
"Actually, ever since I broke off the engagement, I haven't thought about getting married. You and I are just right for each other. We can play the zither and brew tea together when we have nothing to do. But I don't know what you really think of me."
Yu Qinghuan never imagined that the shameful things that she had tried so hard to hide in the past were not inappropriate in the eyes of Mu Huaian, who always strictly observed etiquette.
"But I'm not worthy of you doing this..." The corners of her eyes turned red and she immediately turned her head to wipe her tears.
Mu Huaian took Yu Qinghuan's hand, and tremblingly led her to touch the scar on his right cheek, and then slowly dropped it to his heart, wanting to let her know her place in his heart.
His voice was low and hoarse, but his tone was gentle and soft. "Whether it's worth it or not, it's up to me to say it. You just say whether you are willing or not."
Yu Qinghuan could clearly feel the rapid beating coming from under his clothes, which made her palms numb.
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