Chapter 112: Revealing One's True Feelings
As night deepened, a cold wind howled outside the window, whistling through the eaves and making a mournful sound, which only accentuated the warm and quiet atmosphere inside Guiyan Residence. The silver charcoal in the brazier burned brightly, occasionally sparking, and the rising heat dispelled the chill of the winter night.
Su Wanrou lay on the canopy bed, but she wasn't sleepy at all. The calm and composure she had put on in front of Gu Yangui and Mingxuan during the day crumbled like the tide in the quiet of the night, revealing the unease and anxiety hidden beneath. She lay on her side, listening to Gu Yangui's steady, long breaths beside her, thinking he was already fast asleep.
These days, she tried her best to follow the imperial physician's instructions and be a duchess who "rested peacefully." But the feeling of powerlessness from being isolated and the vague fear of unknown risks, like a fine spider web, entangled her heart, tightening more and more. She turned over, facing out of bed, looking at the blurry outline of the canopy in the darkness, and sighed softly, almost inaudibly.
Just when she thought the person beside her was oblivious, a warm, large hand precisely covered the back of her hand, which was resting outside the quilt. Gu Yangui's voice rang out in the darkness, slightly hoarse from just waking up, yet exceptionally clear: "Why aren't you asleep yet? Are you feeling unwell?"
Su Wanrou's heart skipped a beat, and she subconsciously tried to cover it up: "No... I just slept too much during the day and couldn't fall back asleep. Did I wake you, my husband?"
Gu Yangui didn't answer, but simply sat up and looked down at her in the faint snow light filtering in from the window. Even in the dim light, he could sense the lingering melancholy between her brows. He was silent for a moment, then reached out and pulled her, blanket and all, into his arms, letting her lean against his strong chest.
“I didn’t wake you.” His deep voice sounded above her head. “I wasn’t asleep either. Wanrou, you seem to have something on your mind.”
It's not a question, but a statement of affirmation.
His warm embrace and reassuring tone were like a key, gently unlocking Su Wanrou's tightly closed heart. The grievances, anxieties, and fears she had suppressed these past few days found an outlet in this moment. Her nose tingled, and her eyes instantly welled up. She buried her face in the fabric of his shirt, greedily inhaling his comforting scent, her voice muffled, tinged with a barely perceptible sob:
"Husband...am I really useless?"
Gu Yangui tightened his grip on her arm, his brows furrowing slightly: "Why do you say that?"
“I can’t do anything.” Su Wanrou’s voice trembled with suppressed emotion. “I can’t get involved in the affairs of the manor. I feel like an outsider. When Mingxuan comes to see me, he has to be very careful, afraid of startling me. I… I’m like a delicate ornament, kept in this gilded cage. All I do is eat, sleep, and wait for the child to be born. But I don’t even know if I can give birth to him safely.”
She paused, her pent-up emotions finally bursting forth: "That horse... I know it wasn't an accident. Someone wants to harm me, or our child. My husband, I'm afraid. I'm afraid I can't protect him, I'm afraid that because of me, I'll bring more trouble to you and the household. I lie here every day, seemingly calm, but my heart is pounding like a rabbit's. I hate myself for being so useless, unable to do anything but rest..."
Scalding tears finally streamed down her face, soaking the fabric of Gu Yangui's clothes. This was the first time since the frightened horse incident that she had so openly revealed her inner fear and vulnerability.
Gu Yangui listened quietly, his heart churning with complex emotions—heartache, guilt, and a raging fire—towards the mastermind behind it all, and also towards himself. He had let her bear so much fear and anxiety alone for so many days. He thought that protecting her under his wings, shielding her from the storm, was the best thing for her, but he forgot that his beloved wife, though outwardly gentle, possessed her own pride and resilience. This completely passive and powerless state was, in itself, torture for her.
He didn't immediately offer words of comfort, but instead held her tighter, his large hands gently stroking her back, like soothing a frightened cub, silently conveying strength and support.
When her emotions had calmed down slightly, and her crying had subsided to only soft sobs, Gu Yangui lowered his head, gently rubbing his chin against the top of her head. His voice was deep and firm, each word striking her heart:
"Wanrou, look at me."
Su Wanrou lifted her head from his embrace, gazing at him through teary eyes. In the darkness, his eyes shone with an astonishing brightness, as if they held stars, focused and profound.
“First of all, you are by no means useless.” He gently wiped away the tears on her cheek with his fingertips. “In the past six months since you married into the Duke’s mansion, you have managed the affairs of the mansion in an orderly manner, treated Mingxuan well, and won the respect of everyone. I have seen all of this. Now you are pregnant, carrying our Gu family’s bloodline. This is an immense achievement, more important than any other matter in the mansion. I am letting you rest not because I think you are incompetent, but because you and the child are far too important to me and to this family. I dare not and cannot bear the slightest risk of losing them. Do you understand?”
Su Wanrou stared at him blankly, seeing undisguised appreciation in his eyes.
"Secondly, Mingxuan is a sensitive child. He's genuinely worried about you, which is why he's being so careful. This isn't estrangement, but rather a sign of his deep affection. Once you recover and are able to play with and teach him, he'll naturally cling to you again. As for household affairs," Gu Yangui said calmly, "the steward is loyal, and the rules are strict; things won't fall into chaos. Even if there are any evil spirits, is your husband just a figurehead? Rest assured, I'll take care of everything."
At this point, his tone turned somber, carrying a chilling, murderous intent: "As for that 'accident'... Wanrou, I assure you, it was not aimed at you, but at me, Gu Yangui. It was a feud in the court, an old debt from the border. It was my fault that you were frightened."
He cupped her face in his hands, his gaze piercing, brooking no retreat from her: "But remember this, as long as I, Gu Yangui, live, no one can harm you or our child in the slightest. I will find the person behind this, tear them to pieces, and repay blood with blood. Do you believe me?"
He asked the last four words very softly, yet they carried immense weight.
Su Wanrou gazed into his eyes, where there was an undeniable determination and ruthlessness, and beneath that ruthlessness lay an undisguised protectiveness and deep affection for her. All the unease, grievances, and fear in her heart seemed to be soothed and calmed by those eyes and those words. She nodded heavily, her voice still trembling with tears, yet incredibly clear and firm:
“I believe you. My husband, I believe you.”
The coldness in Gu Yangui's eyes melted instantly, turning into deep tenderness. He lowered his head and kissed away the undried tears on her eyelashes, his movements as gentle as if he were handling a rare treasure.
"Trust me." He pulled her back into his arms, letting her hear his steady, strong heartbeat. "Stop overthinking and stop saying useless things. Just stay by my side, be safe and sound, stay with Mingxuan, and give birth to our child. That will be the greatest help you can give me and the greatest comfort I, Gu Yangui, will ever have in this life."
Su Wanrou nestled in his arms, feeling the warmth and reassuring scent of his chest. The heavy weight that had been pressing on her heart for days seemed to have finally been lifted. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his strong waist, pressing her face against his chest, and whispered, "My husband, I know. I will focus on my pregnancy, I will be alright, both the baby and I will be alright. We'll wait for you... to sweep away those evil spirits, until everything is over."
The cold wind blew outside the window, but the room was warm and cozy. The couple lay in each other's arms, their breaths mingling, their hearts closer than ever before. This time, Su Wanrou quickly fell into a deep sleep to the steady beat of Gu Yangui's heart, the slight worry that had been lingering on her brow finally dissipating, and she slept exceptionally soundly.
Gu Yangui remained awake for a long time. By the dim light, he gazed at his wife's peaceful sleeping face in his arms, his eyes gentle yet resolute. He gently stroked her lower abdomen, where their hope was growing.
A storm is brewing, but he has already made his decision. His weakness is also his strongest armor. For the sake of those in his arms, for the sake of his family, anyone who dares to lay a hand on him will pay a heavy price.
That night, their honest conversation dispelled the fog, bringing their hearts closer on the eve of the storm, and giving them greater courage to face the unknown road ahead.
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