Chapter 97: After the Ecstasy
As night deepened, the Duke of Zhenguo's mansion returned to tranquility. Lanterns under the eaves swayed gently in the cold wind, casting dappled shadows on the ground. Inside the main courtyard, the underfloor heating burned brightly, providing warmth and completely keeping out the winter chill.
Mingxuan had already been lulled to sleep by his wet nurse and taken back to his own courtyard. The maids quietly tidied up and were all dismissed by Gu Yangui, leaving only Granny Wang on night watch in the outer room in case of emergency.
Inside the room, only Gu Yangui and Su Wanrou remained. The red candles on the gilded candlesticks burned quietly, occasionally bursting into tiny sparks with a soft crackling sound, further emphasizing the tranquility of the room.
After her bath, Su Wanrou wore a soft, plain-colored nightgown, her long, black hair cascading over her shoulders, making her face appear even more radiant. She sat back on the canopy bed, her back supported by soft pillows, unconsciously fiddling with a corner of the brocade quilt in her hand, her gaze involuntarily drifting towards the tall, imposing figure by the window.
Gu Yangui did not go to bed immediately. He stood with his hands behind his back by the window, gazing at the deep night outside, remaining silent for a long time. Several days had passed since the imperial physician diagnosed him with pregnancy. The initial elation and excitement, like a surging tide, had gradually receded, leaving behind deep contemplation and a more complex and profound emotion.
Looking at his back, as steady as a mountain yet exuding a touch of aloofness, Su Wanrou felt a slight ripple in her heart. These past few days, her husband had taken meticulous care of her, almost to the point of being overly strict, and she had seen it all, feeling warmth in her heart. Yet, she could also sense that beneath that meticulous care, there seemed to be a barely perceptible tension, a deep-seated worry.
What was he worried about? Was he worried about her health, or about the unborn child?
Just as Su Wanrou's thoughts were racing, Gu Yangui slowly turned around. The candlelight illuminated his profile, outlining distinct and hard lines. However, when his gaze fell on Su Wanrou on the bed, the frost in his eyes melted away like spring snow, turning into a deep tenderness.
He walked to the bedside, but did not sit down immediately. Instead, he leaned over and gently brushed a strand of hair away from her cheek, his fingertips warm. His movements were extremely gentle, as if he were touching a rare and fragile piece of glass.
"Why aren't you asleep yet?" he asked in a low voice, his voice sounding particularly deep and magnetic in the quiet night. "Are you feeling unwell? Or did you sleep too much during the day and now you're not sleepy?"
Su Wanrou raised her eyes, gazing into his deep eyes, where she saw concern, tenderness, and a hint of gravity that couldn't be completely concealed. She shook her head, reached out and took his slightly cool fingers in her hand, and asked softly, "I'm fine, I feel alright. And you, my husband? Is something on your mind?"
Gu Yangui was slightly taken aback, seemingly not expecting her to be so perceptive of his emotional fluctuations. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently enveloped her slightly cool hand in his warm, broad palm.
After a moment of silence, he slowly spoke, his voice carrying a kind of candor that came from experiencing the vicissitudes of life: "Jiaojiao, I do have something on my mind."
He paused, his gaze falling on their clasped hands, his fingertips unconsciously stroking the back of her delicate hand, as if organizing his thoughts.
“The moment I learned you were pregnant,” he continued, his voice low and steady, “the ecstasy I felt was unlike anything I’d experienced in the last thirty years. It felt like rain after a long drought, or like conquering the toughest city after years of fighting. It was a… overwhelming joy, even beyond my expectations.”
Su Wanrou listened quietly, and could feel the undisguised sincerity in his words. She knew that for her husband, who was reserved and restrained, to say such a thing was an extremely rare expression of true feelings.
"But after the joy," Gu Yangui's tone shifted slightly, becoming more somber, "there is more worry."
He raised his eyes, his gaze landing squarely on Su Wanrou's face, filled with undisguised worry: "Jiaojiao, you are still young. Although you have always been healthy, childbirth has always been a hurdle for women. I..." His Adam's apple bobbed, his voice becoming almost imperceptibly hoarse, "...just thinking about the pain and risks you might have to endure makes my heart feel like it's weighed down by a huge rock."
Su Wanrou's heart skipped a beat. So this was the root of his unusual anxiety these past few days. It wasn't that he didn't want the child, but rather that while he was looking forward to it, he placed her safety above all else. This realization filled her with a surge of warmth, and her eyes instantly welled up with tears.
“Husband,” she couldn’t help but lean forward, gently resting her forehead on his arm, her voice choked with emotion, “I…I’m not afraid.”
"But I'm scared," Gu Yangui said firmly, pulling her into his arms and letting her lean against his strong chest. Through the thin nightgown, she could clearly hear his strong and slightly rapid heartbeat, thumping against her eardrums and her heart.
"Jiaojiao, do you remember what I told you about Mingxuan's background?" Gu Yangui gently rested his chin on the top of her head, his voice low and deep.
Su Wanrou nodded gently in his arms: "I remember. My husband said that Mingxuan's biological father was a comrade-in-arms who sacrificed himself to save you."
"Yes." Gu Yangui's voice carried a trace of distant pain and remembrance. "His surname was Chen, and his given name was Zheng. He was my most valiant and loyal general. Five years ago, during that fierce battle in the northern border, if he hadn't taken that fatal arrow for me, Gu Yangui wouldn't be standing here today. Before he died, his only concern was his newborn son, still in swaddling clothes, and his frail wife."
“I promised him I would treat Mingxuan as my own son and take good care of his family. I kept my promise. I brought Mingxuan back to my residence, publicly declared him my adopted son, and gave him the best life and upbringing. I also made proper arrangements for Chen Zheng's wife, ensuring she would have a worry-free life for the rest of her days. But…”
His arms tightened, his voice filled with heavy guilt: "Chen Zheng's wife was injured when she gave birth to Mingxuan. Later, when she learned that her husband had died in battle, she was so grief-stricken that she followed him in death less than half a year later. Although I kept my promise to ensure that they, mother and child, would live a worry-free life, I was ultimately unable to save her life."
Su Wanrou nestled in his arms, listening quietly. This was the first time she had heard her husband recount this past event in such detail. She could sense the deep pain and self-reproach hidden beneath his calm tone. A vibrant life had vanished because of childbirth, because of the pain of losing her husband. This undoubtedly left a profound mark on his heart.
"Jiaojiao," Gu Yangui buried his face in her hair, took a deep breath of her faint fragrance, and said in a muffled voice, "It's not that I don't look forward to our child. I look forward to it, even more than anything else. It's the continuation of your bloodline and mine, a testament to our love. Just thinking about a little life like you or like me coming into the world makes me feel that my life is complete and I have no regrets."
“But this expectation seems insignificant compared to my worry for you.” He raised his head, cupped her face in his hands, and forced her to look into his eyes. In the candlelight, his eyes were as deep as the sea, churning with an intense, overwhelming love and fear.
"Jiaojiao, do you understand? I don't want you to take any risk, not even a one in ten thousand chance. This child is our precious treasure, but you, Su Wanrou, are my life." His voice was low and hoarse, carrying an almost fragile plea. "I want you to be safe and sound. I want you to stay by my side forever. Promise me, no matter what, you will protect yourself, okay?"
These words, like the hottest lava, instantly overwhelmed Su Wanrou's heart. Tears, no longer able to be held back, streamed down her cheeks. She wasn't afraid; she was utterly engulfed by this love, as deep as the sea and as heavy as a mountain. She had never imagined that the Duke of Zhenguo, so decisive and stern on the outside, harbored such a delicate and intense fear within him—a fear entirely caused by her.
"My husband..." she choked out, reaching out to wrap her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in the warmth of his neck, tears soaking his clothes. "I promise you, I promise you... I will be alright, I will protect myself, and I will protect our child. We will both be alright..."
She raised her tear-filled face, gazing into his deep eyes so close to hers, and said each word with unwavering determination, "My husband, don't be afraid. I'm not Madam Chen. I have you, I have Mingxuan, and I have the entire Duke's Mansion as my support. Physician Wang is highly skilled, and Granny Wang is experienced. I will strictly follow their instructions, eat well, rest well, and never push myself. I want to watch Mingxuan grow up, grow old with you, and see our child born and grow up... We have a very long road ahead of us, and I will never allow anything to happen to me."
Her voice was tinged with tears, yet exceptionally clear and powerful, like a warm and resolute ray of light, gradually dispelling the gloom in Gu Yangui's eyes.
Gu Yangui gazed at her tear-streaked yet resolute face, and the heavy weight in his heart seemed to be gently pried open by her gentle yet strong hands. He leaned down and tenderly kissed away the tears at the corners of her eyes, a kiss as soft as a feather, filled with endless tenderness and love.
"Okay," he replied softly, his voice still hoarse but with a touch more steadiness. "We'll be together, protecting you and the child."
He pulled her into his arms again, this time the embrace less tense, filled with the warmth and strength of mutual support. They held each other quietly, listening to each other's heartbeats and the occasional whistling of the wind outside the window, a sense of peace and tranquility, as if they had survived a catastrophe, filling the air.
The deep reflection following the euphoria, the mutual promises after the anxieties, have made the joy brought by this new life all the more profound and real. They are not only a couple sharing joy, but also comrades-in-arms who will face the storms together and protect their family.
Night deepened, the red candle burned out, the last glimmer of light flickered briefly, and then quietly died out. Moonlight shone through the window curtains, casting a soft glow on the floor.
On the canopy bed, Su Wanrou slept soundly in Gu Yangui's comforting embrace, a serene and happy smile still lingering on her lips. Gu Yangui, however, remained awake in the darkness, listening to the even, shallow breathing of the person beside him. The anxious worry in his heart was gradually replaced by a firm belief.
He would do everything in his power to protect her. This was his promise to her, and also his vow to himself.
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