Chapter 136: A Sincere Confession
As night deepened, the commotion in the mansion finally subsided completely. The servants walked on tiptoe, afraid of disturbing the hard-won tranquility of the main courtyard. The baby had been taken to the adjacent warm pavilion by the wet nurse for careful care, leaving only Gu Yangui and Su Wanrou in the inner room.
The flickering candlelight cast soft shadows on Gu Yangui's sharply defined face. He had removed his cold armor and changed into a clean, moon-white nightgown. The wound on his arm had been cleaned, treated, and carefully bandaged by Physician Lin. Now, he sat on the footstool by the bed, a position that allowed him to be closer to her, even closer.
Su Wanrou felt slightly better after taking the medicine, but the energy depleted during childbirth couldn't be replenished in a short time, and her face remained as pale as paper. She leaned against the soft pillows, her gaze fixed on the man beside her, as if afraid that he would disappear again in the blink of an eye. Her hand was tightly enveloped by his warm, large hand, and that familiar, reassuring warmth flowed continuously from it.
"Does it still hurt?" Gu Yangui gently stroked the clear veins on the back of her hand with his fingertips, his voice low as if afraid of disturbing the tranquility of the night. He was asking about the pain of childbirth, and also about the fear and suffering she had endured alone these past few days.
Su Wanrou gently shook her head, wanting to give him a reassuring smile, but her lips tingled with a soreness: "Seeing my husband makes the pain go away." Her words were half sincere comfort and half a coquettish dependence.
How could Gu Yangui not understand? His heart ached even more, and he tightened his grip on her hand. Silence flowed between them, not out of awkwardness, but out of a sense of relief and comfort that needed no words.
After a long while, Gu Yangui spoke again, his voice hoarse with an unprecedented fragility: "Jiaojiao, do you know? During the days when we were besieged in Luoying Gorge, our food supplies ran out, our arrows were exhausted, and our old brothers who had followed me for many years fell one by one... I have never been afraid of death. To die on the battlefield is the final resting place for a military general."
He paused, raised his eyes, and his deep eyes reflected the candlelight and her small shadow, surging with a fear and deep affection that Su Wanrou had never seen before.
“But when I heard Mo Yu say that you had a miscarriage because of me, and that something might… something might happen to you… I was scared.” His Adam’s apple bobbed, and his voice was hoarse. “I’ve never been so scared before. I was afraid I would never see you again, afraid that you would be bullied alone with the child in this dog-eat-dog capital, afraid that our child wouldn’t even have a chance to see his father…”
Su Wanrou's tears fell silently. She could imagine what a desperate situation it was, but she never thought that this upright man, at the critical moment of life and death, would have his deepest fear stemming from her and their child.
"When I led the last few dozen brothers to break through the encirclement, I had only one thought in my mind," Gu Yangui's gaze was fixed on her, each word heavy as a thousand pounds, "I must come back alive. Even if I have to crawl, I will crawl back to the capital, crawl back to you and the child. I promised to protect you, I can't abandon you and the child..."
"Husband..." Su Wanrou sobbed uncontrollably, and could only squeeze his hand tightly.
Gu Yangui reached out his uninjured arm and gently wiped away the tears on her face, his movements incredibly tender. "Don't cry, you'll hurt your eyes during your postpartum period," he coaxed softly, as if handling a fragile treasure. "Now it's alright, I'm back, and you're all fine. That's better than anything else."
He leaned down, his forehead gently touching hers, and closed his eyes briefly, as if confirming the real touch. "Jiaojiao, there were some things I used to think were pretentious to say, and that there was no need for us to say them. But after this experience, I realize that some things, if left unsaid, might become a lifelong regret."
Su Wanrou's heart skipped a beat; she had a vague premonition of something and held her breath, waiting.
“Wanrou,” he called her by her full name, with a solemn tone, “I, Gu Yangui, joined the army when I was young, and have seen many deaths and injuries. My heart has long been hardened. I once thought that this was how my life would be, guarding Mingxuan and the responsibilities of the Duke’s Mansion, until I died on the battlefield.”
“Until that day I met you at the hunting grounds.” His voice carried a hint of warm reminiscence. “You were like a ray of light, recklessly barging into my dark world. When I first married you, I did have selfish motives. I wanted to give Mingxuan a mother, and I also coveted the vibrancy and warmth you brought. I thought it was just a marriage where each of us got what we needed.”
His thumb gently traced her eyebrows and eyes, his gaze tender and deep: "But I don't know when it started, you quietly and completely walked into my life." He took her hand and placed it on his left chest, where his heart was beating steadily and powerfully.
"There's no room for anyone else here. Only you, Su Wanrou." His voice was deep and firm, filled with undeniable seriousness. "My love for you is far deeper than I thought, far deeper than I could say. The fear of almost losing you this time made me realize this. You are not Mingxuan's mother, not the mistress of the Duke's mansion, you are first and foremost my wife, the love of my life, the person I am willing to protect with my life."
This confession, simple and unadorned, without flowery words, is more moving than any vow of eternal love. It comes from the mouth of a taciturn, iron-willed man who prefers actions to words, and every word carries the burning warmth and lessons learned from blood.
Su Wanrou's tears flowed even more fiercely, but this time, they were hot, happy tears. She stretched out her weak arms and wrapped them around his neck, burying her face in his strong shoulders, feeling the reassuring scent emanating from him.
"I'm scared too..." she choked out, finally able to voice the pent-up fear, "I'm afraid you won't come back, afraid the child won't live to see its father... Husband, the child and I can't live without you..."
"No, never again." Gu Yangui hugged her tightly, so tightly that it seemed he wanted to meld her into his very bones. He solemnly swore in her ear, "From now on, I will never let you and the child experience such fear again. I will live well and stay with you for a long, long time, watching our child grow up."
The candlelight crackled softly, illuminating the two people tightly embracing on the bed. All the suffering, separation, and fear transformed into a deeper bond and profound love at this moment. True feelings don't need to be spoken every day, but the honesty gained after this life-or-death ordeal brought their hearts closer than ever before.
Outside the window, the moonlight, like water, quietly enveloped the Duke's mansion, which had finally found peace after weathering many storms.
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