Since his rebirth, He Qing rarely thought about the past. Especially the things that happened before his death. Just thinking about it made him feel suffocated and hopeless.
But now she realized that not thinking about it does not necessarily mean forgetting it.
Those things are impossible to forget. Not only have they not been forgotten, they are engraved in her bones and follow her like a shadow.
He Qing leaned against the car and took a long time to calm her heartbeat. She took out a handkerchief, wiped the sweat from her forehead, straightened her face, and then called Yuping in to serve.
"Master Zhen doesn't look well." Yuping poured a cup of warm tea and handed it to her, saying with some concern.
He Qing closed his eyes and said, "It's just motion sickness."
"Master, please lie down and rest for a while. We have just left the city and we still have to walk for a while." Because the team was too large, the speed would naturally not be fast. It took them half a day to get out of the city gate.
He Qing took a sip of tea and swallowed it, then handed the teacup to Yu Ping. He leaned back on the pillow and said with his eyes closed, "It's uncomfortable to lie down. Come and talk to me."
"Yes." Yu Ping replied, "What does Master Zhen want to say?"
"I don't think I've ever asked you about your affairs." He Qing asked, "How did you enter the palace? How many years have you been here? Do you still have anyone at home?"
"Our palace maids in Great Chu are all selected through imperial examinations. Their families receive a sum of money after being chosen. My family was struggling, so I sent this servant to participate in the selection. I entered the palace at the age of twelve, and it's been five years now," Yuping said. "When I left, besides my parents, I had a younger sister and two younger brothers. I don't know how they are doing now."
"No contact in these years?"
"My hometown is in Jiangnan, which is far away from home. How can we contact each other?" Yuping smiled.
He Qing opened his eyes and looked at her, whispering, "Your family sent you to take the exam, separating you from your family. Did you ever feel resentful?"
Yu Ping's face turned pale, and she thought blankly for a while, then lowered her head and smiled bitterly, "What's the use of resentment? My family can't even afford to eat, and there's no way out if I stay. I might starve to death at any moment. Entering the palace and following the nobles, I don't know how much better life will be."
But the tone didn't mean that at all.
"Then there's still resentment." He Qing turned his eyes away, staring at the colorful silk decorations on the roof. "Even poor families, so poor they can barely afford to eat, sell their daughters to support their sons. Life for us women in this world is too hard."
Even if you are rich and powerful, your life is just a tragedy. Even if you are poor and humble, you can only go with the flow and find no way out.
What on earth is going on?
It is obvious that the Great Chu is known for its peace and prosperity, and it is not much worse than before or after.
"Your Highness..." These words somehow made Yuping feel uneasy, and she couldn't help but shout.
He Qing glanced at her and said, "You called me the wrong name." Yu Ping hurriedly lowered her head and changed her words, "...True Master."
When she called out this name, she suddenly understood the sadness in He Qing's heart when he said that just now, because even she herself couldn't help but burst into tears at the moment of understanding.
He Qing continued, "Yuping, if I let you out of the palace now, would you be willing?"
This time, Yu Ping showed no sign of exaggeration. She knelt hurriedly in the carriage, clutching the corner of He Qing's robe with one hand, and asked helplessly, "Master, what did I do wrong?"
"No." He Qing's heart was unsettled. She wasn't surprised to hear this, but she still felt a little sad. She shook her head and said, "I just said it casually. If you don't want to leave, then stay."
"Thank you, Master, for your forgiveness." Yuping quickly wiped away her tears.
He Qing shook his head. "Forget it. Bring me the book. I'll read for a while."
Lately, she's been reading history books instead of Daoist scriptures. There's so much to learn, and she needs to race against time. The slight regret she felt for the jade screen was quickly drowned out by the countless words, never to be found again.
Without anyone to explain, He Qing read the book hastily, and could only try hard to compare it with the various viewpoints in his memory and barely understand it.
She knew that this would definitely leave a lot of problems, but she couldn't care less about them at the moment.
When the car stopped, she had barely read half a chapter of the book. She felt dizzy and was still immersed in the atmosphere of the book. She almost bumped into the car and was blocked by Yuping's hand.
He Qing came back to his senses, put down the book and rubbed his forehead, then heard Yu Ping say, "Master, we've arrived."
The altar wasn't built by the current dynasty, but rather renovated on ruins left behind by the previous dynasty. It was vast and majestic. He Qing, standing on the shaft of the cart and gazing out into the distance, couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. However, this feeling was soon shattered.
As a female member of the family, she was not qualified to participate in the sacrifice. So soon, people from the Ministry of Internal Affairs came to arrange for them to avoid disrupting the sacrificial ceremony ahead.
He Qing was arranged to stay with the royal family members, and the couple looked very lively.
No one complained about not being able to participate in the sacrifices, as if this was the norm. Not only were women not allowed to participate in large-scale sacrifices like this, but most women were also not allowed to participate in various sacrifices, big or small, during the four seasons and eight festivals.
Women from the royal family were not allowed to enter the Taimiao, and women from the common people were not allowed to enter the ancestral hall, otherwise they would "defile" their ancestors.
That's ridiculous.
He Qing felt increasingly depressed as she found herself surrounded by such a group of people. Only she knew that none of this was natural. In ancient times, before agriculture emerged and when humans relied solely on hunting and gathering, there existed a matriarchal society where women, due to their reproductive abilities, held a far higher status than men.
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