Chapter 253 Awakening
The two of them worked together to open the package.
Inside were several brightly colored, soft silk handkerchiefs, a bottle of exquisitely packaged face cream, a pair of small diamond earrings, and a stylish dress made of lightweight material.
At the very bottom, there was a manila envelope.
Zhou Anping picked up the envelope and took out the letter inside.
The letter was short, and she read it quickly, but her brows furrowed.
Nan Zhiyi, who was watching from the side, asked softly, "What's wrong? What did Gu Yan say in the letter? You look strange."
Zhou Anping handed the letter directly to her, his tone complex: "It was written by my brother. He also asked Gu Yan to bring these things to me."
In the letter, Zhou Zhengping's handwriting was a bit messy. He simply said that he was doing well in the south and that his sister should not worry. He told her to take good care of herself and be filial to their parents, but he still did not mention where he was or what he was doing.
After reading the letter, Nan Zhiyi folded it and handed it back.
Zhou Anping was furious.
In recent years, she has received remittances from her brother and phone calls from him, but each time he would simply let her know he was safe and ask about her parents' health, without mentioning going home.
Her chest heaved slightly, clearly her emotions rising: "My brother is really something! So annoying! He knows the whole family is worried about him, Dad doesn't say anything, but Mom has shed countless tears behind his back, yet he still insists on being so stubborn. If only he had that kind of stubbornness back then..."
She abruptly stopped talking, angrily punching the blanket. "Once I'm discharged from the hospital, I'm going to call Gu Yan and ask him if he knows my brother's situation and is colluding with him to keep it from us because he's been contacting him so frequently!"
Nan Zhiyi reached out and gently patted her back. "Alright, alright, don't rush or get angry. Your health is the most important thing right now. Look, your brother was able to ask Gu Yan to send so many things back, which means he's at least doing well and he's thinking of you. He might have his own difficulties out there, but once he's figured things out, he'll naturally come back."
Just then, the ward door was gently pushed open, and Meng Qingshan hurriedly came in carrying two aluminum lunch boxes.
Upon seeing Nan Zhiyi, he was somewhat surprised: "Sister-in-law is here."
Nan Zhiyi nodded and smiled at him, "I just arrived a little while ago, just checking on Anping."
She stood up. "I'm leaving Anping in your care. I should head back now."
Meng Qingshan quickly said, "Sister-in-law, why don't you eat before you leave? I've already given you extra."
"No, no, Sister Zhang at home should have already prepared dinner." Nan Zhiyi waved her hand, then turned to Zhou Anping, "You get some rest, I'll come see you again tomorrow."
Zhou Anping shook his head: "It's nothing serious. The doctor said to observe me for a while, and I might be able to be discharged and go home to recuperate tomorrow. Don't bother going back and forth, it's too much trouble. I'll call you after I'm discharged and settled in, and you can come to my house to see me so we can have a proper talk."
Nan Zhiyi thought for a moment and nodded in agreement: "That's fine. Be careful when you're discharged from the hospital, and call home anytime if anything happens."
She then said "Thank you for your hard work" to Meng Qingshan before picking up her bag and leaving the hospital.
Nan Zhiyi took the bus home, arriving after 2 p.m.
Sister Zhang had already put Xiaoman to sleep. When she saw her come in, she quickly went to the kitchen and brought out the food that was still warm in the pot: a bowl of rice, a meat dish, and a vegetable dish, all steaming hot.
"Sister-in-law, let's eat first, it's past lunchtime."
Nan Zhiyi thanked him, sat down at the table, picked up her chopsticks, but had little appetite and only managed to eat half a bowl of rice.
Afterwards, she quickly washed up and sat down at her desk, forcing herself to immerse herself in the story.
Not long after, Xiaoman woke up and played up and down the stairs.
When he got tired of playing, he rushed into the study, hugged her leg, looked up at her, and asked in a childish voice, "Mommy, play! Go out and play!"
Nan Zhiyi put down her pen, bent down to pick up her son, and rubbed his little head against her skin.
When Xiaoman hugged her like that, most of the pent-up frustration in her heart dissipated.
She took her son downstairs, and as soon as the little guy got to the yard, he eagerly grabbed her hand and pulled her outside.
Holding that soft little hand tightly, Nan Zhiyi followed his unsteady steps, and a thought suddenly flashed through her mind: wasn't she the same?
Because of Xiaoman, there is an extra bond in my life.
In the future, whatever she wants to do—writing, pursuing further studies, or even just wanting to spend more time with her friends at the hospital like today—she will have to prioritize the little one's eating, sleeping, and companionship.
She was keenly aware that a complete and independent personality should not be completely defined or bound by any identity, whether it be "mother" or "wife".
But theory is theory, and reality is reality.
Whenever I see Xiaoman's dependent eyes and hear his soft, sweet calls, that maternal, almost instinctive compromise and sacrifice easily overshadows any grand narratives about "self".
Is this another form of "consciously sinking into depravity"?
As Xiaoman dragged her to see the ants he had just discovered moving house, she inwardly mocked herself.
Even though they can clearly see the shackles, they still willingly accept being trapped in them.
But then she thought again that her idea was too ungrateful.
Gu Xiao never asked her to sacrifice anything; on the contrary, he supported her writing and schooling in every way. With Sister Zhang helping with the household chores, the family was financially well-off and had a stable environment.
The space for thought and creation that she possesses is something many people yearn for but cannot have.
If you're still lamenting the "shackles of motherhood" here, you're just whining without reason; you're "not appreciating your own good fortune."
Walking to the flower bed by the roadside, Xiaoman squatted down, pointed at the busy ants, and mumbled something only he could understand.
He then shook Nan Zhiyi's hand, gesturing for her to squat down and watch together.
Nan Zhiyi squatted down, but her eyes were fixed on her son.
The setting sun shone on Xiaoman, turning the strands of hair on his head into a golden glow. His big, dark eyes blinked as he looked at her. "Mommy, look!"
...Those grand and tragic notions about the plight of women were dispelled by the concrete and small warmth before my eyes.
That's probably how life is. Even after recognizing its less-than-ideal nature, we still have to strive to capture and cherish those little glimmers of light.
She reached out and hugged her son, giving his little cheek a playful nip. "Okay, Mommy's looking!"
Whether it's compromise or succumbing to despair, at least for now, this bond is real and warm.
As for those deeper questions, let's explore them slowly in the future.
In the evening, Gu Xiao came home from get off work and saw Nan Zhiyi sitting on the swing in the yard, watching Xiaoman climb up and slide down the slide, her expression somewhat detached.
He walked over and sat down beside her, the swing gently swaying.
Why do you look a little unhappy?
Nan Zhiyi rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm not unhappy. It's just... it's just that we've all gone down different paths. We've all matured, and the burdens have become heavier."
Gu Xiao put his arm around her shoulder, didn't ask any questions, and silently stayed by her side.
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