Extra - Gu Xiao
Gu Xiao knew from a young age that his father and mother had extremely high expectations for him.
Especially after his mother passed away, his father suddenly had a lot of white hair, but when his stern eyes fell on him, in addition to deep grief, there was also a heavy sense of entrustment.
He knew that he had to become the pillar of the family and a source of comfort and pride for his father.
So he could only strive forward.
He skipped grades to get into the best military academy, demanded the highest standards of himself, and after enlisting, he gave it his all, working hard and striving for excellence in every task and assessment.
During his childhood and youth, he spent most of his time not in the Jian'an compound, but in the dust of the training ground, in the cold wind of the border, and in increasingly arduous missions.
He is like a knife that is constantly being tempered, it must be sharp, it must be resilient, it must be invincible—for his father, for his mother, and for his family.
The younger brother, Gu Yan, was different.
Gu Yan was five years younger than him, and was naturally lively and unrestrained, like a free flame.
The father always remembered the mother's dying wish and placed almost no restrictions on his youngest son, only wishing him peace and happiness.
So, Gu Yan grew up freely in the courtyard, making friends all over the place. His best playmates were the Zhou siblings across the street, and... the beautiful little girl from the Nan family at the yarn factory, Nan Zhiyi.
Gu Xiao was much older than the children, and because he had been away from home for many years, he was unfamiliar with them. In addition, he was quiet, taciturn, and aloof. Not only was Gu Yan afraid of him, but the children who often came to play at home were also like mice seeing a cat when they saw him. Their chattering laughter would instantly fall silent, and they would stand up properly and call out "Fifth Brother" in a low voice.
He didn't care at first, and even thought it was a good thing.
He wasn't often in the compound. These teenagers were at an age where even dogs wouldn't want them; they knew fear. Having someone to keep them in check would always keep them in check and prevent them from causing trouble.
But he didn't know when it started, but he began to hope that Nan Zhiyi wouldn't be so afraid of him.
She wasn't like this when she was very young.
The little girl, who is still not very steady on her feet, will stretch out her short arms, stumble and rush over, calling "brother" in her unclear speech, insisting that he carry her.
He first rubbed her cheeks, then lifted her up, watching her smile until her eyes curved into crescent moons.
But later, he spent more and more time away from home and returned less and less often. Every time they met, she had grown a little taller and become more and more beautiful. But like other children, she would suppress her smile when she saw him and respectfully call him "Fifth Brother," with a clear sense of awe in her eyes.
Gu Xiao had no choice but to accept it.
He has his own path to walk: military academy, the army, responsibility, honor—these are all things he must bear and strive for.
He was like a tree prematurely forced to grow into a pillar, growing straight in the predetermined direction, with no time to care whether the delicate flowers and plants beneath him, who needed shade, felt alienated from him.
He went home on vacation that year.
Because it was hot outside, Gu Yan simply brought a group of friends home to play, and the living room was noisy.
Nan Zhiyi was also there.
She was already a young woman, wearing a pale yellow dress that accentuated her fair skin. She held a purse, smiling as she pulled something out – those gold coin chocolates.
The children were incredibly excited, cheering and scrambling to grab him. Upon seeing him, they all instinctively lowered their voices and became quiet.
Gu Yan whispered, "Brother, you're back?"
Gu Xiao: "Okay, you guys have fun."
Finding it noisy, he simply picked up his bag and headed straight for the stairs.
Until a pale yellow figure slowly moved to the edge of his isolated island.
He looked up.
Nan Zhiyi walked over, but she didn't dare to look him in the eye; her gaze fell on the buttons of his military uniform.
He reached out and handed over a few pieces of chocolate: "Fifth Brother, this... is for you."
She still seemed a little timid, but her innate desire to "take care" of everyone overcame that timidity.
Gu Xiao looked at her palm, which was pinkish-white, but under his gaze, it began to turn slightly red.
He reached out and took it, saying, "Thank you."
Nan Zhiyi seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, quickly glanced at him, then lowered her eyes again, said "You're welcome," and as if she had completed a task, turned and ran back to the group of lively boys and girls.
A faint sour feeling suddenly welled up in his heart, like accidentally biting into an unripe green fruit. The taste was fleeting, and he didn't dwell on it.
At that time, Gu Xiao really didn't think much about it.
In his eyes, Nan Zhiyi was still a child who hadn't grown up, just like Gu Yan.
He didn't see her again for a long time after that day.
She had her studies, and he had his career to dedicate himself to. The vibrant world of the young woman and his burdened path briefly intersected before going their separate ways again.
We met again in another winter.
He returned home on vacation, and as soon as he opened the door, he was met with a house full of drunkards.
Nan Zhiyi was among them, leaning against the sofa armrest, her eyes glazed over, a small wine glass clutched in her hand.
His face was ashen, and he sternly ordered the men to stand under the eaves to sober up.
The children stood there, looking bewildered.
Later, the adults from each family rushed over upon hearing the news and took their children away. Aunt Feng was busy holding Nan Zhiyi with one hand and half-carrying Zhang Yueran with the other.
"I'll take her home," he said to Aunt Feng, who thanked him profusely.
The road to Wannian Lane wasn't long, but the cold winter wind made her even more dizzy, and her steps became unsteady.
Gu Xiao reached out and supported her arm.
She leaned against me softly.
The girl's soft body pressed against his arm, emanating a faint fragrance that unexpectedly filled his nostrils.
"Fifth Brother...please..." she mumbled, her voice soft and limp from being drunk.
The snowlight illuminated her face, her hazy, drunken eyes seemed to hold a pool of spring water, and her lips, moistened by the wine, glistened with an alluring moisture. She parted slightly, exhaling sweet, warm breath onto his neck.
Gu Xiao suddenly lost his composure.
He suddenly realized with absolute clarity that the person nestled in his arms was no longer the child he needed to discipline, but a... young girl.
This realization struck him like a thunderbolt, leaving him unsettled.
That night, he had a bizarre, beautiful, and unspeakable dream.
In his dream, he saw her hazy eyes, her flushed face, her warm breath, and her wrist, which seemed excessively slender and soft in his palm.
When Gu Xiao woke up, he was covered in cold sweat, and felt more ashamed and self-loathing.
She was still a minor, a little girl he had watched grow up. How could he have such filthy and disgusting thoughts? It was simply... despicable.
He forced himself to stop thinking about it and poured all his energy into his work, filling every spare moment with almost self-destructive training and tasks.
But the more suppressed it was, the more stubborn the figure became.
On cold nights patrolling the border, in front of the sand table for tactical simulations, and even in the brief moments between life and death amidst gunfire, that slightly flushed face, flushed with drunkenness, would always unexpectedly enter my mind, bringing a momentary loss of heartbeat and followed by deeper self-reproach.
On his second vacation back home, he unusually asked his maid, Wu Ma, about Gu Yan's whereabouts.
Hearing that a group of them had gone to explore an abandoned quarry in the suburbs, his heart skipped a beat, and he immediately went to find them.
It was on that occasion that he witnessed her fall into the deep pool.
At that moment, all reason, boundaries, and self-loathing were thrown to the winds, and the body lunged forward before consciousness could react.
His clothes were soaked through by the icy pool water, and she was shivering in his arms.
The moment he held her tightly, feeling her real heartbeat and warmth, a previously unclear thought became clear—perhaps, this girl was far more important to him than he had imagined.
He escorted her back to Wannian Lane. Nan's mother was moved to tears and talked to him for a long time. She also prepared a generous gift.
He answered absentmindedly, his eyes constantly glancing towards the stairs.
She changed into dry clothes and came downstairs, handing his coat back to him with a shy expression, saying, "Fifth Brother, thank you."
Gu Xiao felt that it was enough to see her smile.
On his way back to the compound, his steps were light, and he even began to think that perhaps he could take a few more days off in the future.
However, his younger brother Gu Yan, with a hint of ambiguous inquiry, delivered a blow to his head: "Brother, why did you send Zhiyi back? Zhengping was there too, wasn't he? They were betrothed as children, it would have been more appropriate for Zhengping to send her back."
A marriage arranged when they were children?
"A marriage arranged since childhood? How do you know so much?" Gu Xiao heard his own voice, which was unusually cold.
“Hey, a lot of the old folks in the compound know about this. Aunt Nan and Aunt Zhou mentioned it. Although they haven’t officially placed an order, everyone knows what’s going on. If you don’t believe me, go ask around yourself.” After Gu Yan finished speaking, he glanced at the man’s suddenly cold and hard face, and then sheepishly slipped away.
He actually went to inquire about it.
It wasn't just a rumor; although it was a verbal agreement, it was practically an unspoken truth among the elders of both families.
As long as it's not officially decided, perhaps... there's still room for maneuver?
He clung to a sliver of hope, continuing to watch silently from afar.
She grew more and more dazzling, and every time she came to the Gu family to pay New Year's respects, she never forgot to prepare a thoughtful and appropriate gift for him as well.
But Zhou Zhengping was always by her side.
The two stood together, the young man handsome and the young woman radiant. Childhood sweethearts, chatting and laughing, they seemed like a perfect couple to anyone who saw them.
The image stung his eyes and filled him with indescribable sorrow.
Later, he simply went back to Jian'an Compound even less, preferring to spend his time in the army.
Until one phone call, Gu Yan mentioned sourly that the Nan family and the Zhou family had exchanged marriage certificates, and the marriage agreement was finalized.
The girl he liked for the first time was really going to become someone else's wife.
That day, he sat alone in his office for a long time, with the deep night outside the window.
He desperately wanted to rush back, find her, and ask her one question...
But in what capacity? From what standpoint? Was he a "Fifth Brother" who was much older than her and never smiled? Or a neighbor who, in her eyes, was no different from anyone else?
He had nothing.
Even that dark, burgeoning emotion seemed so out of place, so... base.
He was like a rotten potato that had quietly sprouted in the soil, but was destined never to see the light of day—suffocating, decaying, and emitting a sour stench of self-loathing.
How laughable, and how pitiful.
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