Chapter 343 Feeling Lost
During the afternoon class, Nan Zhi's thoughts were a bit scattered, and she missed a few key points in her notes.
When the bell rang, Shan Xiaoyan packed up her books and stationery, said to Nan Zhiyi and Yang Mei, "I have something to do, so I'm leaving first," and then flew away from the classroom as nimbly as a swallow.
Nan Zhiyi turned to Yang Mei, "Yang Mei, can I borrow your notes from this afternoon to copy? I think I missed something."
Yang Mei was a little surprised, "That's rare, there's actually a time when you didn't remember them all?"
Nan Zhiyi smiled awkwardly, took the notebook, and put it into her cloth bag.
"Thanks, I'll return it to you on Monday. I was just a little preoccupied... I was overthinking things."
The two packed their things, linked arms, and followed the flow of people out of the teaching building.
Nan Zhiyi asked quietly, "Um... Xiaoyan, how are things going with her fellow villager lately? Any progress?"
Yang Mei lowered her voice as well: "She said herself that she felt like she was just one step away from making things clear. But you know Xiaoyan's personality. She seems straightforward, but when it comes to this, she becomes hesitant and indecisive. She wants to take the initiative to make things clear, but she's afraid of being rejected and can't bring herself to speak up."
Nan Zhiyi understands that most young women are prone to feeling insecure and hesitant to express their feelings before they are sure of the other person's feelings.
Yang Mei, however, didn't seem too optimistic; she adjusted her glasses.
"Xiaoyan is innocent and enthusiastic, like a ball of fire, while that fellow villager is mild-mannered and lukewarm—they're like two completely different people..."
Nan Zhiyi's own love life is smooth, and although Gu Xiao's personality is not entirely the same as hers, the two get along well, so she believes that personality differences are not necessarily an obstacle.
"Not necessarily. Complementary personalities might actually make a relationship last longer."
Her bigger worries lay in reality: "I'm afraid... the relationships on campus seem so beautiful, but what will happen when it comes to job assignments after graduation? Job assignments are all based on luck... what if we end up in different provinces..."
She thought of Zhang Yueran. If Yueyue also fell in love and faced separation, would she suffer heartbreak?
Thinking about it this way, a motherly worry suddenly arose in her heart, and she sighed with concern.
Yang Mei sighed as well, "It's hard for outsiders to interfere in matters of the heart. No matter how good or bad we think it is, she has to walk her own path and make her own decisions. We can't advise her or do it for her."
Nan Zhiyi nodded in agreement, knowing that Yang Mei was right.
Just thinking about Zhang Yueran's future romantic relationships makes her even more conflicted.
I'm worried that Yueyue is too young and immature and might get hurt in relationships; but I also feel like I'm worrying too much, since Yueyue is already a college student with her own opinions.
This feeling of wanting to manage but not daring to, worrying but also afraid to express too much, left her feeling lost and helpless.
When the weekend morning arrived, Zhang Yueran returned to the Gu family's small building.
Nan Zhiyi found a moment of respite, pulled her younger sister to sit down on the sofa in the study, and carefully began to speak.
"I want to talk to you about something serious. You see, four years of university seems like a long time, but it actually flies by. After graduation, the government will assign jobs to students, you know that, right?"
Zhang Yueran nodded, her tone matter-of-fact: "I know. What's up, sis?"
Nan Zhiyi continued softly, "These job assignments don't necessarily mean everyone can stay in the capital. It's very likely that, depending on the needs, they will be assigned to other provinces, all over the country. At that time, it will all be arranged by the organization, and it will be very difficult for individuals to change jobs."
Observing her sister's somewhat absent-minded expression, she spoke more tactfully, "So, when making friends, especially... well, rather special friends, you have to think it through beforehand and consider the long term."
Zhang Yueran was peeling an orange when she heard this and paused for a moment.
Zhou Xingzhi's figure flashed through my mind again without warning. The inexplicable thrill brought by that fleeting glimpse has not yet dissipated.
Zhang Yueran pinched her fingertip hard, using the pain to pull herself back to reality.
“Yes, I know the policies. However, I’m currently working in Professor Chen’s lab, and the project is at a crucial stage. I plan to pursue further studies after graduation and take the entrance exam for his graduate program. As long as my grades are good enough and my performance is outstanding, I have a good chance of staying in the department or being admitted early by a relevant research institution.”
She put a segment of orange into her mouth, the sweet and sour juice spreading in her mouth, but it couldn't suppress the bitterness in her heart.
She seemed to be trying to persuade Nan Zhiyi, but more like she was warning herself: "Right now, my mind is full of experimental data and research directions. I really don't have the energy to think about anything else. Didn't I tell you before that dating... is too troublesome and a waste of time? It's not in my plans for the time being, and I don't want to consider it."
Nan Zhiyi thought, "It's fine if we don't consider it for now..." She couldn't help but press further, "Then... what about later? After graduation, once I have a stable job..."
Before she could finish speaking, Nan Zhiyi stopped herself and apologized in annoyance, "I'm sorry, Yueyue, look at me... I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm just rambling on and on, saying things that don't make sense. Don't take it to heart, I won't ask anymore. Just live your life as you please, do whatever makes you happy, I'll support you."
She felt that she was just creating trouble for herself and might even be bothering Zhang Yueran.
Zhang Yueran grasped her sister's hand. "I know, dear sister! Don't worry about me. I'm really doing great right now! Besides, I'm going to work for the health of our country for fifty years. Personal matters... come second!"
Nan Zhiyi patted her shoulder and said softly, "Okay, I won't nag anymore. It's your life, you decide. As long as you're happy and safe, anything is fine."
"Let's go, sister, let's go see if Sister Zhang has finished cooking."
"good."
As the two came out of the study, they ran into Gu Yan leading Xiao Man back from outside.
Xiaoman held up a newly bought colorful windmill, which was spinning around with a whooshing sound.
When Gu Yan saw Zhang Yueran, he raised an eyebrow: "Wow, Yueyue! You've really blossomed into a beautiful young woman. I almost didn't recognize you on the street!"
Seeing Gu Yan in his well-tailored jacket and stylishly combed hair, exuding a more Westernized vibe than before, Zhang Yueran smiled and retorted, "My sixth brother has really changed a lot! He's now a quintessential Hong Kong youth. With that kind of style, he'd definitely turn heads on the streets of Beijing!"
Gu Yan laughed at her words, turned and went into the house, and came out a moment later with a thick red envelope.
At that moment, Zhang Yueran and Xiaoman were playing around on the sofa, and the little one was giggling and snuggling into her aunt's arms.
Gu Yan handed the bulging red envelope to Zhang Yueran: "Here, take this. I came back in a hurry this time and didn't have time to pick out a gift for you, so let's be practical and you can buy whatever you like."
Zhang Yueran didn't go to take it immediately, but instead looked at Nan Zhiyi next to her.
Seeing this, Gu Yan clicked his tongue and said, "Why are you looking at Zhiyi? Just take it if I give it to you. Can she stop you?"
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