Nan Zhiyi – My Heart Returns to Zhiyi
Nan Zhiyi noticed that Gu Xiao had been acting strangely lately; he started picking her up from get off work more frequently.
Gu Xiao is always busy with work, and working overtime is the norm.
In the years when she first started teaching at the university, he would take time out of his week to pick her up.
Later, when Xiaoman went to junior high school, he was promoted, and this routine was gradually abandoned, becoming a regular job for driver Lao Chen.
Then, in the past two weeks, he has come here three times.
The first time she thought it was a coincidence, the second time she was slightly surprised, and by the third time, even her graduate students were smiling and saying, "Your mentor is here again."
Tonight is even worse.
In the morning, she told Gu Xiao that she was having dinner with several close female friends, including Li Xiaoxuan and Chen Wenjuan, and would be back late.
Gu Xiao didn't say anything at the time, only asking about the location and what time it would end.
Nan Zhiyi answered them one by one.
Gu Xiao was already waiting at the restaurant entrance as soon as the ladies finished their dinner.
Li Xiaoxuan exclaimed "Oh!" and leaned close to Nan Zhiyi's ear, "Zhiyi, why has your guy suddenly become so clingy? Is he checking up on me?"
Nan Zhiyi gently pinched her arm: "Don't talk nonsense."
"What nonsense am I talking about?" Li Xiaoxuan gestured towards Gu Xiao, unable to hide her teasing. "We have a second show later, I heard we can request songs, and there's a band from the South. You're really not going?"
The ladies originally planned to go to the newly opened karaoke bar, which they heard was invested in by Hong Kong businessmen and had novel laser lights and machines that allowed people to sing in front of screens—it was very trendy.
Nan Zhiyi looked at Gu Xiao.
He noticed her gaze and looked up at her.
From a distance, she couldn't see the emotions in his eyes, but she felt his gaze calmly fixed on her, filling her heart with a sweet feeling.
"Next time," Nan Zhiyi said to Li Xiaoxuan, turning her gaze away. "I'll make sure you all have a good time next time."
Li Xiaoxuan patted her hand with a smile: "Alright, alright, go on, don't keep people waiting. You have to spend more time with me next time."
In recent years, their beauty salon has opened several branches, hired more professional managers, and is developing well. The annual dividends are very considerable. Perhaps due to mutual benefit or friendship, the wives have maintained a good relationship and get together once a month.
She waved to Li Xiaoxuan, "Okay, see you later."
Nan Zhiyi wore a light beige long dress with a thin cardigan of the same color over it. As she went down the steps, the hem of her dress brushed slightly against her calves.
When Gu Xiao saw her come down, he took a few steps to meet her and reached out to help her.
Nan Zhiyi took his arm and asked, "You didn't work overtime today?"
"Yes, it's all taken care of beforehand." He reached out and placed his hand over hers, which was resting on her forearm, and asked, "Have you been drinking?"
Nan Zhiyi lowered her head and sniffed herself, saying, "Hmm, just a small cup, does it smell bad?"
Gu Xiao laughed, a short, breathy sound, "My wife smells good no matter what."
Nan Zhiyi knew it was just sweet talk to coax him, but she still smiled and tightened her grip on his hand.
After the two got into the car, Nan Zhiyi leaned against the passenger seat and looked at Gu Xiao's profile.
The light and shadow of the streetlights slid across his straight nose and tightly pursed lips.
She was somewhat lost in thought as she looked at it.
In his youth, he was like a sharp blade drawn from its sheath, its cold light so intense that no one dared to look directly at him; now, that sharpness has been sheathed, transformed into the steadiness of a mountain.
The lines around his eyes and the silver strands at his temples do not make him look old; instead, they give him an air of composure and maturity born from the wisdom of life.
Nan Zhiyi felt that he was more and more captivating to her each year, an attraction that transcended mere physical appearance and originated from the depths of her soul.
As she looked at him, her heart warmed, and she deliberately asked, "Gu Xiao, do you... not want me to go play?"
Gu Xiao looked straight ahead, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly, before he spoke: "No. You can go if you want."
Nan Zhiyi wouldn't let him off the hook, leaning slightly closer, "Then why did you come all the way to pick me up? Xiaoxuan said you were like someone checking up on me."
This time, Gu Xiao remained silent for an even longer period.
The car turned onto the tree-lined road leading to the army compound, where the shadows of the trees swayed gently.
He finally spoke, his tone as steady as ever, but Nan Zhiyi could still detect a hint of unnaturalness beneath that calmness.
"That karaoke bar... I heard it's a chaotic place with all sorts of people. You want to sing? Don't you have a VCR and records at home?"
The house did indeed have those new devices, which Gu Yan specially got for it last month, along with a bunch of videotapes and records of popular Hong Kong and Taiwan songs.
"All right."
Nan Zhiyi didn't say anything more; she didn't like any of that excitement anyway.
The car was parked in front of the small building in the family compound.
Gu Xiao turned off the engine, but did not get out of the car immediately.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to go.” He repeated, this time in a much lower voice, “It’s just… I think those places are too noisy. You’ve had a long day, you should go home and rest earlier.”
Nan Zhiyi turned her head to look at him. Why did he have to explain it again?
She replied, "Okay, it's good to go home."
Seeing that she was no longer bothered by it, Gu Xiao breathed a sigh of relief. He simply couldn't bring himself to express his hidden feelings. When he was younger, he hoped she could go out and have fun with other people, but now, he only wanted her to spend her free time with him for as long as possible.
The couple went inside.
Sister Zhang had already left work, leaving only a small lamp in the entryway, casting a warm, dim light. Gu Zhao had gone to summer military training camp, so the house was unusually quiet.
Nan Zhiyi went to take a shower first, the warm water washing away the light sweat and faint smell of alcohol.
When she came out in her bathrobe and sat in front of the dressing table slowly applying skincare products, Gu Xiao also returned from washing up in the guest bathroom.
He walked behind her, his arm loosely encircling her waist from behind, his chin resting on the top of her head.
Looking at the figure nestled together in the mirror, Nan Zhiyi closed his eyes slightly, his expression unusually relaxed, even somewhat... dependent.
She turned her head and gently touched his chin with her lips, smelling the scent of shaving lotion.
Gu Xiao didn't move, but tightened his arms around her a little.
After she finished applying the last layer, she turned around, wrapped her arms around his neck, and looked up at him.
The man had his eyes downcast, his gaze lingering on her face.
"Gu Xiao," she said, her fingers stroking the short stubble on the back of his neck, "what's wrong with you lately?"
Gu Xiao paused for a moment, then said, "It's nothing."
This man rarely revealed his vulnerability or insecurity to her, as if it were his usual pride.
She didn't press him further, but simply raised her hand, her fingertips tracing his brow bone, sliding down his nose, and finally resting on his slightly pursed lips.
Time has indeed left its mark on his face—the fine lines at the corners of his eyes and the graying temples—but all of this combined to create the man before her who made her heart flutter.
“Gu Xiao,” she looked into his eyes, “you are so handsome.”
She spoke somewhat foolishly, completely unlike the rational and intelligent Professor Nan she usually was. But at this moment, that was all she wanted to say.
Under the light, his cold features softened because of her, and his deep eyes gained warmth because of her.
"Zhiyi," he called her name.
"Um?"
Gu Xiao's eyes were deep, holding back many unspoken words.
"I'll take a couple of days off and take you out for a walk to relax, okay?"
Nan Zhiyi was initially delighted, as they hadn't traveled alone for quite some time. However, a hint of suspicion quickly crept into her mind. Given Gu Xiao's position and status, taking leave was never easy, especially such a seemingly impromptu arrangement.
She propped herself up and looked at him carefully: "What happened so suddenly... did something happen at work?" She asked cautiously, her mind racing through all sorts of possibilities.
"No. Everything's going well at work." Gu Xiao raised his hand and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's just that I feel I haven't spent enough time with you over the years. I want to see you more often."
Nan Zhiyi, still rational, asked, "Haven't you been picking me up from get off work quite often lately?"
Gu Xiao's lips curved slightly, a smile tinged with helplessness and self-deprecation: "So once or twice a month is considered quite often for you."
Nan Zhiyi was speechless at his words, and the vague unease in her heart made her want to explore further.
"Can……"
Gu Xiao lowered his head and kissed her lips, gently sealing this somewhat heavy topic in another way.
Nan Zhiyi quickly lost her composure, becoming engrossed in the vortex he had created, unable to think about anything else.
later.
Nan Zhiyi thought that Gu Xiao probably really felt that time was flying by and was surprised to find that he was getting older.
He wanted to spend the rest of his time by her side more often and more meaningfully.
Looking at the mountains and rivers, watching the sunrise and sunset, I try to salvage every single day I've missed.
Gu Xiao kept his word.
A few days later, he took her on a plane heading south.
He also brought his newly purchased Ricoh camera.
Throughout the journey, she held up that small black box, and the camera was always pointed at her.
As she looked up at the uniquely shaped pine tree, as she carefully traversed the steep "Carp's Back" cliff, as the mountain wind tousled her hair...
Nan Zhiyi said, "Gu Xiao, let's take pictures of the scenery."
Gu Xiao simply adjusted the focus and said softly, "The scenery is only beautiful when you're in it." These words, spoken by him, were more heart-stirring than any sweet talk.
He was no longer the young officer who rarely showed his emotions; time had stripped away his hard shell, revealing his increasingly direct feelings.
After returning from the trip, life went back to normal.
Nan Zhiyi went to the photo studio to have the film developed.
The entire set consists of two volumes, totaling over seventy images, almost every one of which features her. Some are clear frontal shots, while most are side or back views, blending into the magnificent scenery.
She flipped through the pages one by one, feeling somewhat dazed. So this is how he saw her.
She thought about picking out some good ones to put in the photo album, so she went to the study to find the blank satin album.
While searching, I accidentally found a familiar hardcover book.
She remembered this book. After writing a message for it, she placed it on the table. Later, after Gu Xiao tidied up his study, it disappeared. She assumed he had kept it in his office, or perhaps just left it somewhere.
So that's where it was.
She gently opened the cover.
On the title page.
Below her inscription, in the blank space, two lines of slightly smaller, vigorous handwriting appeared. The ink was deep and rich, each stroke carrying his usual composure and decisiveness, yet revealing a rare tenderness at the turning points—
My body is dedicated to the mountains and rivers, my heart belongs to my soulmate.
The moon and stars follow each other, unwavering through life and death.
The inscription was signed by Gu Xiao, and the date was the day she delivered the book.
She had no idea that he had responded so solemnly.
He didn't realize how much he valued her feelings.
Unbeknownst to him, beneath the seemingly peaceful years of marriage, he always kept those two vows, along with her initial words of blessing, alongside his important documents, his military medals, and the triumphs and tribulations of his life.
In the blink of an eye, more than a decade has passed.
Nan Zhiyi hugged the book tightly to her chest, her heart filled with an unprecedented sense of peace.
Gu Xiao returned in the evening.
Nan Zhiyi showed him the book, and tears welled up in her eyes.
"Gu Xiao...you wrote this..."
Gu Xiao's expression was unusually gentle, even a little embarrassed.
“You saw it,” he said softly, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “Why are you crying?”
Nan Zhiyi choked up a little: "Why didn't you tell me..."
Gu Xiao put his arm around her and gently patted her back. "Some things are easier to write down than to say. And you should know that."
Yes, she knew.
She always knew.
The mountains and rivers are vast, and the years are long, but there is one person who has given his heart to her.
This life is enough.
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