Chapter 33 Tonight, he doesn't want to leave.
Liang Zhang rode in his own carriage, following the princess's carriage. He accompanied her all the way to the gate of the princess's residence. He then went to her and carried the sleeping princess down from the carriage, into the residence, and escorted her to the door of her boudoir.
"It's good that you've brought the Second Young Master here. The Princess is still unconscious, and we servants shouldn't have let you into the manor. Please don't publicize this matter."
After Huachun finished speaking, she gestured for the maids on either side to come forward and take Yuezhi from his hands.
Liang Zhang gazed longingly at Yue Zhi as she was helped into the room. He had no choice but to ask Hua Chun for help, as he had not yet expressed his feelings.
"When the princess wakes up tomorrow, please tell her that I have prepared betrothal gifts to marry her. Please ask her to take care of herself and wait until the wedding day to express our feelings to each other."
Hua Chun nodded and saw him out of the mansion.
Back at the Liang residence from the princess's mansion, Liang Zhang was still unable to shake off the aroma of the wine. He could see the princess's flushed cheeks even with his eyes closed, which made him restless.
Each person had their own thoughts, and they slept peacefully through the night.
In the early morning, Yuezhi groggily opened her eyes, and some blurry images flooded her mind: she was drunk and was picked up by a strange man. Instead of being wary and running away, she hugged his neck and shamelessly embraced him.
I'm almost getting married, why am I still having dreams like this?
She covered her face shyly, hugged the embroidered pillow tightly, and took a deep breath, trying to dispel the dream, but the more she thought about it, the clearer it became—it didn't seem like a dream?
"Huachun?" She hurriedly turned over and woke Huachun, who was sleeping on the small bed below. "Do you know what happened after I drank at the banquet yesterday? I don't remember very well."
Hua Chun rubbed her eyes and told her everything that had happened the night before, including Liang Zhang's words about "confessing their innermost feelings."
Yuezhi blushed more and more as she listened, hugging her embroidered pillow tightly in shame, wishing she could bury her face in it and never see anyone again.
It wasn't a dream after all. She just thought the plum wine was delicious, so she didn't stop the maid from refilling it. Before she knew it, she had drunk more than half a jar and was completely drunk.
Being drunk is one thing, but to lie comfortably in the second young master's arms and even fall asleep while holding him...
"Will he think I'm rude and vulgar?"
Hua Chun smiled and sighed: "Princess, the Second Young Master has already said that he has prepared the betrothal gifts and wants to marry you. If he thought you were vulgar, why would he ask me to convey this message to you? He likes you very much and can't wait to marry you."
Yuezhi felt a sweet warmth in her heart as she listened, and a smile played on her lips.
She rolled over and lay flat on her back, looking at the dark light in her eyes, and felt that time was passing so slowly. She wished she could marry him tomorrow.
The rising sun pierced the thick fog of an autumn morning, its light falling on window frames, illuminating streets and alleys, and climbing the red walls of the palace.
"Young Master Liang personally escorted the princess back to her residence..."
Pei Heng changed out of his dragon robe after court, and a young eunuch reported the news from the princess's residence.
Since moving into the Taiji Palace, he has developed this habit: when he gets up in the morning and before he goes to bed at night, he listens to the news coming from the princess's residence to know what has happened around Yuezhi recently.
Originally, he wanted to keep track of her condition and care for her health, but things gradually changed. He wanted to know everything, from the fruit wine brewed in the mansion and the flowers and plants planted, to who she met and what she said that day.
The palace servants who served him dared not comment on his hobbies, and Pei Heng himself did not think there was anything wrong with it.
It's just that he couldn't bear to lock her up in the palace, that cage. If they lived together as usual, with their beds separated by two walls and only a few feet apart, he could hear her tossing and turning in the dead of night. Why would he need to go through all this trouble?
After hearing the eunuch's report that Liang Zhang had carried Yuezhi onto a carriage in front of everyone yesterday and sent her back to his residence, he remained silent.
The young emperor remained silent, and the atmosphere in the hall plummeted to freezing point.
The new emperor was different from the previous emperor. He handled state affairs in a gradual and orderly manner, exempted the people from taxes, and was benevolent and wise. He would not scold or punish his officials and palace servants severely. He was a wise and orderly ruler.
However, in some subtle ways, the new emperor is remarkably similar to the former emperor, such as his imposing features, his decisive nature, and his almost obsessive dedication to certain people or things.
In order to preserve his throne, the late emperor trusted no one.
The new emperor secretly desires to be close to Princess Ning'an but cannot obtain her. He has been impersonating the princess's husband to meet her in secret, sleeping on her old clothes, and now he even wants to know every little detail about the princess's residence.
Jinbao, seeing this, flattered the emperor to prevent him from falling deeper into the trap: "Your Majesty has chosen a good husband for the princess. Now that they are in love, their marriage will surely be happy in the future. They will remember Your Majesty's kindness and be loyal to you without reservation."
Pei Heng did not respond, but only sighed heavily.
He just couldn't feel happy.
There was nothing wrong with Yuezhi wanting to get married, and there was nothing wrong with Liang Zhang taking care of his drunken fiancée, but when he heard about it, his heart ached.
After a long silence, he murmured, "What would you say if I told you that I don't want them to get married?"
Jinbao was shocked, lowered his head, and said tremblingly.
"Your Majesty, please don't joke with me. The decree of marriage has already been issued, and the princess is so satisfied with the marriage. She and her husband are a perfect match and deeply in love. Your Majesty knows this better than I do. If the decree were to be reversed now, how heartbroken the princess would be."
Pei Heng took a deep breath and pondered.
Jinbao continued, "Doesn't His Majesty want the princess to be well? Although the young master of the Liang family cannot satisfy His Majesty, the princess likes him, and his greatest achievement is making the princess happy... If the marriage cannot proceed as scheduled, I'm afraid the princess will be sad, and her health, which she has finally recovered from, will deteriorate again."
Every word he uttered questioned his conscience.
Pei Heng waved his hand helplessly, giving up the idea. "I was just asking casually. You don't need to say so much. I understand."
I know it all in my heart, yet I still want to be willful... I know it's impossible, but I still do it... I want to do it, but I can't...
He was caught in this internal struggle, confusing right and wrong.
He thought to himself: Perhaps once Yuezhi gets married and everything settles down, he will no longer be so fixated on this matter.
*
The weather grew colder day by day, and the autumn frost in the mornings grew thicker each day. Preparations were in full swing at the princess's residence, as the wedding day drew ever closer.
Yuezhi was in such a good mood that she drank her medicine readily, which surprised Su Jingyun. He took her pulse and said with a smile, "After resting for so long, the deficiencies in your body have finally been replenished."
"Am I almost better?" Yuezhi asked in surprise.
“Now that I can change your prescription,” Su Jingyun said, rolling up her sleeves. “Before, you were weak and had insufficient blood and qi. Using a prescription to remove blood stasis would have been too harmful to your body. Now that you’ve recovered, we need to increase the dosage of the blood stasis-removing medicine.”
After saying that, he added, "The new recipe is similar to the one you used before, and it will be very bitter."
Remembering the taste, Yuezhi forced herself to say, "I'm not afraid of bitterness. As long as it can cure my eyes, I can eat it no matter how bitter it is."
Su Jingyun put away his medical tools. "Is the princess so eager to see the prince consort's true face?"
Upon hearing this, Yuezhi blushed and lowered her voice, "Of course... Others only say he's handsome, but I want to see for myself just how handsome he really is."
"Your humble servant guarantees that within six months you will be able to see the Prince Consort with your own eyes."
Yuezhi smiled, and after hearing him close his medical kit, she quickly asked him, "I've booked a private room at the opera house in the east of the city. Would you like to come with me to see the opera?"
Seeing her joyful expression, Su Jingyun knew how happy she was about that consort. In the past, she was hesitant and anxious, only daring to stay in the mansion, but now she even had the energy to go out and listen to opera.
As the physician serving her, he was very pleased: "Thank you for your kindness, Princess. It is a pity that I am not free to accompany you."
Yuezhi didn't press the matter, but asked curiously, "I heard from the maid that besides writing prescriptions, filling medicines, and brewing medicine for me, you usually stay in your room reading medical books?"
"Your Majesty, I am preparing for the Imperial Medical Academy's upgrade assessment next spring. It is a trivial matter and not worth your attention."
“This concerns your future, it’s no trivial matter.” Yuezhi’s eyes lit up, and her voice became even more cheerful. “You should study medical books diligently, become an imperial physician as soon as possible, and one day take charge of the Imperial Hospital, bringing glory to your family. The Su family genealogy will begin with you.”
She always had a better attitude towards things than others. Encouraged by her, Su Jingyun smiled and lowered his head, strands of hair falling down to cover the burn scars on his face, making him even more motivated.
"Thank you for your kind words, Your Highness. I shall take my leave now."
After Su Jingyun left, Yuezhi ate the sweet soup that Huachun served her as usual, and then took a carriage to the opera house.
Inside the theater, the actors on stage sang, recited, acted, and fought. Even though Yuezhi couldn't see, she could tell from the cheers of the audience that the actors were highly skilled.
Today's play tells the story of a great general who overcame numerous obstacles, achieved great military exploits, rose through the ranks and amassed wealth, and married two wives and five concubines, enjoying the bliss of having multiple wives.
The play was lively, but as a woman, Yuezhi couldn't help but sigh. The general had married seven wives and concubines, each of whom he had schemed to marry in order to befriend high-ranking officials and conquer cities. He only did so because he valued the power of the women's families.
As the play ended, she sipped her tea, reflecting on how the relationships between men and women in this world are based on love, profit, and fame, each going their own way. She thought how fortunate she was to have formed a bond with the Second Young Master Liang and to have gained a share of his true affection.
Ultimately, she should thank Pei Heng. He chose such a good husband for her and gave her the confidence to not have to worry about her in-laws' opinions.
He hasn't been seen leaving the palace lately; he must be very busy.
Before the wedding, she should choose a day to visit him in the palace.
The play on stage began again, but Yuezhi heard a slight commotion coming from next door.
"What kind of person do I think Princess Ning'an is? Giving someone a silver hairpin, while the concubines at home all wear gold hairpins. People are saying that the Emperor favors Princess Ning'an and lets her wear this?"
"Give it back to me! That was a gift from the princess. You have committed a grave offense by taking something bestowed upon you by the princess without permission!"
"So what if I made a move? You don't actually think that having this broken hairpin given to you by Princess Ning'an will make you rise to the top, do you? Yes, that princess is blind. She only enjoys wealth and honor because of the Emperor. You are just as incompetent as her, which is why you dream of getting a powerful person to help you."
"How dare you slander the princess like this? You don't even know her. You dare to defame her based on mere snippets of information you've heard from others. Aren't you afraid of death?"
"So what if I said it? If you don't like it, go ahead and report me to the Shuntian Prefecture. I'd like to see if you have the guts to ruin the entire Cui family over a few words of argument."
Cui Xianglan was so angry at her sister's reckless words that her face turned red. She couldn't get the silver hairpin back and just stood there in the private room, being laughed at by Cui Qingqing and her maids.
Suddenly, the door to the private room was pushed open from the outside.
Hua Chun helped Yue Zhi in, her face serious. "Princess Ning'an has arrived. Why don't you kneel down?"
Both Cui Xianglan and Cui Qingqing had seen the princess's true face at the Duke's banquet. Now that they saw her again, they didn't even have time to argue and hurriedly knelt down to pay their respects.
"This humble woman greets the princess. May the princess live a thousand years."
Yuezhi was displeased. "Who are you two? How dare you talk about me in public, and make such a loud noise? Don't you care about my dignity, or even the safety of your own family?"
Because of her previous poor health, Su Jingyun told her to relax and avoid getting angry or worried. As a result, she rarely put on airs in front of others, always prioritizing harmony and never making a fuss when she went out.
This time, I overheard them talking about her in a separate room. They were so unrestrained in their speech that I'm afraid they said these things not only in the theater.
If she doesn't step in and do something about it, one day these two will be arguing in the street, and it won't be something that she can solve by simply intimidating them.
Two maids behind her closed the door tightly, and two more maids were waiting outside. Five people were kneeling inside, and Cui Qingqing dared not respond.
Seeing that things were not going well, Cui Xianglan crawled forward on her knees and said, "I am Cui Xianglan, the eldest daughter of the Cui family. My younger sister Qingqing has spoken wildly and offended the princess's ears. It is because my Cui family has failed to discipline her properly. Please forgive me, princess."
Before Yuezhi entered, she had overheard the conversation between the two sisters. She thought to herself that she had casually given someone a silver hairpin at the Duke of Dingguo's mansion a few days ago, and that this must be the person who gave it to her.
Back then, she was being scolded by a mother and daughter, but now she's pleading for her sister. She's not a bad person.
Yuezhi remained silent and asked Cui Qingqing, "Your sister has finished speaking. Do you have anything to say?"
Cui Qingqing lay on the ground, all her previous arrogance and domineering attitude hidden away, her eyes filled with tears, looking pitiful.
“Princess, you cannot easily believe my sister’s words. Although I misspoke, my sister flaunts the silver hairpin that you bestowed upon us every day, and our parents have been deceived by her, thinking that she is a guest of honor of the princess. My sister was rude to the princess first, and I was so angry that I said those nonsense. I beg the princess to investigate.”
Cui Xianglan's eyes reddened, and she turned to look at Cui Qingqing, saying incredulously, "You and my stepmother torment me at home, and my father doesn't care about me either. If I don't take advantage of the princess's influence, am I supposed to just wait for you to bully me to death?"
“Princess, look, she admitted it herself. She was the one who started it by using the princess’s name at home.” Cui Qingqing pouted, looking aggrieved, but her tone was very smug.
Yuezhi has already figured out who is right and who is wrong.
"The silver hairpin was a gift from me to Miss Cui. Miss Cui should not have touched it lightly, that is one crime; she slandered me behind my back, that is a second crime; I gave you a chance to admit your mistake, but you did not repent and even dragged others into the matter, that is a third crime."
"I hereby order you to reflect on your mistakes at home and not to leave the mansion for six months. Since you keep talking about the difference between gold and silver, you must be quite wealthy. Therefore, I hereby order you to donate five hundred taels of silver to the relief center in the city in the name of the Cui family."
"This is my punishment for you. If you are dissatisfied, you may submit a complaint to the Ministry of Justice. If they punish you, I'm afraid the Second Miss will at least get a beating, or at worst, be imprisoned."
"This humble woman dares not." Cui Qingqing shrank back in fear. "Thank you for your lenient sentence, Your Highness. This humble woman will go home to reflect on her mistakes and raise the money."
This matter may seem like nothing more than a quarrel between sisters, but if it were reported to the authorities or spread outside the palace, and eventually reach the Emperor's ears, it would be considered disrespectful to the royal family and contemptuous of the Emperor, which would certainly implicate the entire family.
"Let's call it quits and go home."
Yuezhi told them to leave, and Cui Qingqing hurriedly returned the silver hairpin in her hand to Cui Xianglan, then bowed and withdrew with her two maids.
As the footsteps faded away, the sounds from the stage outside grew clearer, but Yuezhi lost her appetite for the opera. Just as she was about to turn and leave, Huachun reminded her.
"Princess, Miss Cui is still kneeling here."
Yuezhi turned around, puzzled: "Your sister has already left, why aren't you leaving? Do you want to hear the rest of this show?"
Cui Xianglan shook her head. "My sister made a mistake and was punished today. When she returns to the manor, she will definitely complain to Father and Stepmother about my faults. Rather than going home and being insulted, it is better to stay outside and be quiet."
Upon hearing this, Yuezhi's heart softened.
"We're all family, why are they treating you like this?"
"Ten years ago, my aunt and uncle's family were exiled by the late emperor. My father was implicated and demoted three ranks. He was ostracized in the court. My mother was often looked down upon when she went out. She soon fell seriously ill and passed away. After that, my father took my aunt as his wife."
After hearing this, Yuezhi recalled that she had indeed met a woman surnamed Cui, Cui Wenzhu, on her way to exile. She realized that the Cui family must be related to the Changsun family, which was why they had suffered such a misfortune.
Her story is far more tumultuous and complicated than the general's marriage on the stage.
"It is fate that we have met. Since you do not wish to go home, why not come and sit at my residence?"
Cui Xianglan was flattered and said, "This humble woman has no honor to sit in the princess's residence. Please do not disturb your peace."
Yuezhi smiled: "You've already borrowed my influence at home, don't you want to make this a reality, so your family will look at you differently and they won't dare to bully you anymore?"
Of course she wanted to be respected and live a good life.
"This humble woman thanks Your Highness for your grace." Cui Xianglan kowtowed deeply to her.
Yuezhi hurriedly asked someone to help her up, and they rode back to the mansion together.
It was only on the carriage that I learned the latter part of Cui Xianglan's tragic life story: a few years after her mother's death, in order to consolidate her position, her family betrothed her to the illegitimate son of a high-ranking official. The two families had just completed the betrothal when the illegitimate son suddenly died. Although he died from alcoholism, it was rumored that he was cursed to death by her.
People with a long tongue always believe the most outlandish stories, and Cui Xianglan became known as an unlucky woman who would bring misfortune to her husbands. No one in the capital dared to marry her, and her stepmother and younger sister bullied her even more.
Having listened the whole way, Yuezhi was both anxious and angry. "What about your father? Doesn't he care about you? Does he just let you be criticized and bullied?"
Cui Xianglan said helplessly, "Why should he care about me? He has many wives and concubines, and many of his children are smarter and prettier than me. He might care about me when he has time, but when he doesn't, he just pretends that I don't exist."
Yuezhi felt anxious and heartbroken upon hearing this.
Fate truly plays cruel tricks on people. She was abandoned by her parents and could only envy the lively and close-knit families of others, unaware of the many untold stories hidden within those families.
Upon reaching the back hall, she specially asked a maid to bring out the fruit wine she had brewed a few days earlier, and she and Cui Xianglan drank and chatted together.
"Not long ago, my father accepted a betrothal gift from a wealthy merchant in Qingzhou." Cui Xianglan downed a cup of wine, her face flushed, and she spoke with a temper.
“That wealthy merchant was ten years older than me and not ugly, but he had nine concubines and countless maids who were not given official titles. My father married me off to such a man, which shows that he no longer cared about me as his daughter.”
Yuezhi took a small sip of fruit wine, feeling indignant on her behalf. "I used to envy others who had parents and loved ones, but now that I know your parents are so cold and selfish, it would be better if you didn't have them."
Upon hearing this, Cui Xianglan's eyes welled up with tears.
No matter how hard her life was, people would only advise her, "This is your fate," and "Just bear with it, don't make your parents sad." So she endured it for ten years.
I thought: Princess Ning'an, who is high and mighty and deeply loved by the Emperor, would never understand the bitterness in other people's hearts.
But she actually understood, and it resonated with her deeply.
Yuezhi said indignantly, "If you ask me, you don't need to listen to your father. Why marry a promiscuous playboy in Qingzhou? I'll ask the Emperor to grant you a marriage, or if you have a suitable husband, I'll go and mediate for you."
Cui Xianglan wiped away her tears and shook her head. "Over the years, my reputation in the capital has been ruined. Even though Princess Laodong and the Emperor have become husband and wife, her husband's family values you two more, not me."
Yuezhi felt sad, but then she heard her laugh out loud.
"My father treats me like this, I don't want my future husband to become an asset to the Cui family. Marrying far away will cut me off completely. I've endured all these years of hardship, I refuse to believe that I can't live a good life after leaving the Cui family!"
Cui Xianglan was slightly drunk, but her words were inspiring.
Knowing that she was a strong-willed person, Yuezhi didn't want to make decisions for her anymore, so she drank a few more cups with her and enjoyed themselves together.
*
"Hmm..." Yuezhi was helped to lie down on the bed. She looked out the window in a daze. It wasn't dark yet.
"Where is Miss Cui? I was talking to her, how come she's gone?" He spoke languidly and drunkenly, muttering to himself as he burrowed into the soft quilt.
Hua Chun replied softly, "You two are both drunk. I've had someone arrange for Miss Cui to be moved to a side room."
"Aren't we going to take her home? Her parents will worry..." Yuezhi drunkenly reached for the embroidered pillow and hugged it to her chest.
Huachun: "It was you who let the eldest daughter stay in the manor overnight, saying that you wanted her parents to know that she was your friend, so that they would not dare to bully her in the future."
"Okay, that's settled then..." Yuezhi mumbled a reply and fell asleep.
As the sun sets and sunlight streams through the west window, the beautiful woman sleeps peacefully in bed, and the bedroom is left unlit.
After dark, the courtyard and the house were peaceful.
After sleeping soundly for a long time, Yuezhi felt thirsty and wanted to call the maid to pour her some water, but she didn't hear the maid on night duty get up after calling twice.
Since it was late at night and everyone was asleep, Yuezhi didn't dwell on it. She got up, felt her way down the edge of the bed, and successfully made her way to the outer room behind the screen, following the arrangement of the room in her memory. She found the kettle and drank some water.
After finishing my drink and lying back in bed, I felt hot inside. I pulled off the blanket and loosened my collar before I felt a little cooler.
She hadn't fallen asleep yet when she vaguely heard the door open and close. She assumed it was a maid getting up in the middle of the night and didn't pay any attention. But when the cold moonlight shining on the edge of the bed was blocked by a tall figure, she opened her eyes slightly and saw the blurry figure...
Pei Heng found it increasingly difficult to ignore his own despicable nature.
He learned during the day that Yuezhi had punished the Cui family girl outside, and worried that she would be upset and hurt herself, so he wanted to come and see her that night. However, when he entered the princess's residence, he heard from the servants that she had made a new friend. The two chatted for a long time and got completely drunk.
I told her not to drink, but she had just recovered a bit and couldn't resist her cravings, getting drunk like this.
Those around her did not offer any advice, which angered him so much that he punished all the maids and servants of the princess's residence by making them wear vases on their heads, and forbade anyone to sleep until midnight.
Unable to find her, he should have returned to the palace, but unable to suppress his impulse, he ignored the guards' advice and entered her bedroom.
Standing before her bed, I saw her face flushed, and she restlessly pulled open her collar, the thin, smooth nightgown slipping down her delicate shoulders to reveal her snow-white skin flushed with a rosy hue.
His eyes glanced down and saw, under the moonlight-drenched green gauze curtain, a woman's beautiful collarbone slightly protruding, her breath hot and restless. She tilted her head back, elegantly outlining the graceful lines of her neck, and further down, her breasts were full…
Pei Heng took a deep breath, intending to calm down, but instead smelled the fragrance of gardenias mixed with a strong aroma of wine, which was intoxicating.
He narrowed his eyes slightly, his gaze dark and unsettling, a fire burning within him.
This wasn't something he should be looking at, nor was it a place he should be in, but he just couldn't move his feet or turn his eyes away.
Seeing her snow-white back exposed to him as she turned over, a surge of heat rushed to his dantian. The problem that had only arisen and been silently resolved in private was now laid bare before him.
"..." Pei Heng bit his lip.
With this huge problem on my shoulders, I'm really caught between a rock and a hard place – whether I stay or leave.
He clutched his forehead in anguish, realizing that he had no choice but to confront the things he had never dared to think about before: he had developed a desire for Yuezhi that he shouldn't have, which would taint their relationship and hurt her deeply.
He had to keep this a secret no matter what.
He turned his face away, finally making up his mind to distance himself from her, but then he heard a soft murmur from the bed: "Is that you?"
Who is it?
When she wakes up in the middle of the night, alone in her room, who is the person she wants to see?
As he hesitated, a slender arm emerged from the green gauze curtain. Beneath the lifted curtain, a flushed face was revealed, with disheveled black hair, jade-like skin, and dreamy eyes gazing at him with a gentle smile.
"I don't even know what you look like, so why do you come to me in my dreams every night? Do you miss me just as I miss you?"
As soon as the soft, delicate words were spoken, the young man's reason crumbled completely.
He bent down and hugged her, as if burying all the longing in his heart into this embrace, holding her tighter and tighter.
"Yuezhi, I don't want you to think about anyone else, just me, okay? Before, we only had each other, and from now on, it will only be the two of us. I won't get married, and you won't get married either, okay?"
Yuezhi laughed in a daze, her ears ringing with confusion, but the firm embrace and his rapid heartbeat were so clear that she couldn't ignore them, and she gently scolded him.
"They're about to get married, and they're still so unruly."
After saying that, he chuckled twice, "It was just a dream. The prince consort came to embrace me. Perhaps it's because I've been thinking of you day and night..."
The two words were so jarring that Pei Heng didn't want to hear them, nor did he want to admit them; he simply refused to let go.
"No, it wasn't him, it was me, it was me..."
He dared not utter his own name, fearing that she would realize that their beautiful dream of mutual affection had turned into a nightmare of being coveted by her younger brother, and that she would wake up from this "dream" and push him away, shattering his unattainable dream.
The young man held her soft body and fell down, his palm caressing her small face. Looking at her ever-smiling lips, the kiss in the cabin suddenly surged into his heart. Even the difficult problems were stirred by this thread of affection, and he trembled violently.
He must be crazy.
He didn't want to make one mistake after another.
He wanted to sleep in her arms, to kiss her, to tear away all his unbearable desires, and to lay them bare before her.
He despised himself, consciously succumbing to depravity, forcefully pulling her close and kissing her cherry lips.
Tonight, he doesn't want to leave.
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