Chapter 43. Expressing Love
Inside the Taiji Hall, the lights are on as usual at night.
A humble palace maid brought candles into the hall. She noticed that the eunuch waiting outside the door was drowsy. Several other palace maids who accompanied her trimmed the candle wicks and lowered the gauze curtains. In the spacious bedroom, not a single gaze fell upon her.
The palace maid secretly glanced into the dragon bed where the bed curtains had been drawn. Under the covers was the emperor, who was already asleep, and the two were only a few steps apart.
Without hesitation, the palace maid swiftly pulled a sharpened hairpin from her bosom, rushed to the dragon bed, parted the bed curtains, lifted the quilt, and viciously stabbed the person under the quilt.
The sensation when you poke it is soft and yielding; it doesn't actually poke anyone.
Upon closer inspection, the palace maid realized that there was no emperor under the quilt at all, but rather a pile of pillows to make it look like someone was sleeping in the bed.
By the time she realized she had fallen into a trap, it was too late. The imperial guards who were protecting her rushed in, and she was captured before she could even resist.
The palace was as silent as an uninhabited cave, swallowing the candlelight. The figures of those walking inside became part of it, and no one knew what kind of heart lay hidden beneath the humble and obedient faces of those who walked with their heads down in the corridors.
Its rightful owner, however, is now enjoying intimate moments with his new wife in a tranquil, vibrant mansion.
He didn't want to waste a single precious moment of his daily time, entrusting himself to his lover and listening to her sweet, honey-like whispers, which made him happier than any reward.
Her flushed body, like soft jade soaked in spring, exuded a tender aura that made his blood boil with every breath. Without a formal title, he could only be her husband on the bed, possessing her tenderness and filling the unease and emptiness in his heart with real intimacy.
Overwhelmed with emotion, he whispered in her ear, his breath damp with desire, "Yuezhi, do you know who I am?"
"Yes...it's my husband..." Yuezhi had no strength left, but she still held him tightly, giving him the answer he most wanted to hear.
Pei Heng felt a warmth in his heart.
She didn't abandon him when he lost his position as crown prince, and she doesn't love him now because of his throne—Yuezhi's choice has remained consistent; she only loves him as a person.
She must have liked him, but how much of it was related to Liang Zhang is too numerous to count.
He expressed his love through his actions.
*
The emperor ran back and forth in and out of the palace every day. Jinbao felt sorry for his health, but the young emperor did not look tired. On the contrary, he was more energetic because he had achieved a good marriage with his beloved, and he had lost some of his chilling gloom.
After the court session, Cheng Yuan came to report that the assassin had been captured the previous night. Pei Heng had expected this, so he was not surprised. He ordered the palace maid to be brought out from the Palace Administration Office so that he could interrogate her personally.
The criminals were escorted to the Hall of Diligent Governance.
The palace maid knelt on the cold ground, her hands bound and a heavy iron yoke around her neck, yet she still tried her best to straighten her neck, her eyes fixed on the emperor in front of her.
Pei Heng waved his hand, dismissing the servants and leaving only his trusted confidants Cheng Yuan and Jin Bao. The heavy palace doors slowly closed, separating the inside from the outside into two worlds.
"The hairpin is so sharp, it must have taken more than a day to make it, and it's been poisoned..." he said, his voice devoid of emotion, "Such a vicious act, I wonder what I have done to wrong you that would cause you to harbor such evil intentions?"
The palace maid's eyes were filled with resentment, and her face was pale. When she was born, she looked exactly like a demon that had crawled out of hell.
"Because you killed her! You killed the Imperial Concubine! You and your mother couldn't tolerate her! You couldn't tolerate a woman standing at the pinnacle of power just because of her talent and beauty!"
"The Imperial Concubine?" Pei Heng leaned back, his deep eyes falling on the murder weapon on the table. "The Palace Attendants have presented your statement, saying that you claimed the Imperial Concubine praised your intelligence and rewarded you with a jade lotus hairpin?"
Mentioning her former master, the palace maid looked up, her scarred face revealing an almost fanatical glory.
"Her Majesty is of divine beauty, yet she deigns to look upon us lowly people. She personally bestowed that hairpin upon me, saying that I am clever and quick-witted and will surely achieve great things in the palace in the future! For someone as noble as her, her appreciation is worth more than a thousand pieces of gold!"
“Appreciation.” Pei Heng repeated the word, his tone flat, yet it inexplicably sent a chill down one’s spine.
"Do you remember eleven years ago, in the winter, after I entered the Eastern Palace, the first decree I requested from my father was to increase the monthly allowances for the palace servants, the charcoal fires in winter, and the ice water in summer? How much were added to their monthly allowances?"
The palace maid's excited expression froze for a moment.
Pei Heng's gaze pressed down on her shoulders like a mountain: "Although I was deposed afterward, the monthly allowances for palace maids established at that time have not been reduced to this day. As a palace maid, you enjoy these favors without missing a single one. You can see the gold hairpin that the Consort bestowed upon you, but you do not remember the kindness I have shown to all the palace maids."
"The whole world belongs to you. It's your job to do small favors and win people's hearts!" the palace maid retorted shrilly, her voice revealing a hint of weakness.
Pei Heng suddenly sneered, his laughter sharp as ice.
He stood up, the hem of his imperial robe brushing against the cold ground, and walked step by step to the palace maid.
"You're not seeking revenge for the Imperial Concubine; you hate me for ruining your dreams. The Imperial Concubine made you think you had a bright future ahead of you, but my wise and comprehensive policies cannot satisfy your self-righteous vanity." His voice was deep and piercing, each word cutting to the heart, shattering her pretense.
"Do you know why I still keep you, my old servants from the Imperial Concubine's palace? It's not that I don't want to kill you, but that I want you to see with your own eyes what a prosperous and glorious empire I will rule over compared to the Imperial Concubine's gains from currying favor with the late Emperor!"
The palace maid's face drained of color, her body trembled violently, her forced pride and anger were crushed, and she cried with tears streaming down her face.
Pei Heng stopped looking at her and turned away indifferently.
“His crime of treason is heinous and his heart is wicked. His crime is unforgivable. His entire family shall be exterminated and his head displayed to the public.”
A cold voice echoed in the hall as the palace maid was roughly grabbed by the guards who entered from outside and dragged out of the hall.
A chilly autumn wind swept in, while outside the palace gates, the sky was clear and the sunlight shone brightly, leaving no place for shadows to hide.
The palace maid's confession revealed who provided her with the poison. During the night Pei Heng was away, the imperial guards thoroughly investigated the palace and found the source of the poison.
The address they found turned out to be the same place as the woman Cheng Yuan had reported living in.
All the clues pointed to a frail woman.
Pei Heng realized he might have underestimated the other party, and immediately ordered, "It's involved in two treason cases, so there's no need to keep an eye on it anymore. Immediately search this place, arrest the criminals, and torture them severely."
Cheng Yuan immediately took care of it.
On the other side, Chen Lanze, who was on his honeymoon at home, was always absent-minded. Although he was physically in front of Shen Xian, his mind had already wandered elsewhere. Shen Xian saw this and felt happy.
Look, what's the use of liking someone? He's still bound by power and dignity, and can only act as if he doesn't want to be with her. He has to finish the charade of a happy marriage.
Before long, the servant rushed into the courtyard, not even bothering to greet her, and went straight to Chen Lanzhe.
The servant whispered something in Chen Lanzhe's ear, and a look of alarm appeared on his usually calm face. He immediately got up and went out.
"You're not allowed to go!" Shen Xian shouted, stopping him.
Chen Lanze turned around stiffly, "A good friend of mine has had an accident at home, and I have to rush over to help. Please understand, Princess."
Shen Xian crossed her arms and said, "Which friend is it? What major event has happened at home that requires the help of a newlywed groom like you? How inconsiderate! My husband, tell me who that person is. I need to go to her house and have a good talk with her."
Chen Lanze gritted his teeth, too lazy to argue with her, and turned to leave, but Shen Xian quickly ran ahead and blocked his way.
“We’re newly married, why must you upset me on this auspicious day? Although the Emperor doesn’t treat me as well as he treats Princess Ning’an, as a princess, it’s still easy for me to send a message to the palace.”
Chen Lanze's face turned ashen. "This is a human life."
Shen Xian sneered, "If you go now, it won't just be one life at stake."
After a stalemate, Chen Lanze glanced back at the servant, walked back into his room with a cold face, and slammed the door shut.
Looking at the furious figure peeking through the crack in the door, Shen Xian smiled with satisfaction. Controlling him was the first step; she wanted tangible benefits in his hands—business, shops, fertile land—and to gradually become the matriarch of the Chen family.
The imperial guards and the Ministry of Justice went to search the house and arrest the suspect, but found nothing.
In the courtyard, the door to the main room was not closed, the tea on the table was still warm, and the clothes and bedding were untouched, indicating that the thieves had just fled.
The group searched the capital for a whole day without any results. Even the two maids had no identity and their whereabouts were unknown.
The three living people vanished into thin air.
*
A murder case was kept under wraps. The onlookers only knew that the culprit had been beheaded and his head displayed to the public. Yuezhi, who had never been near the execution ground, was unaware that the emperor had been assassinated twice.
She was so immersed in the sweetness of her new marriage that she even went on royal hunting trips with her husband.
On the day of the autumn hunt, white clouds filled the sky.
Yuezhi couldn't ride a horse or shoot an arrow, and even walking was a problem for her, so she asked her husband to go to the hunting grounds in her place to accompany the emperor.
Her tent was right behind the imperial tent, and she should have been able to see Pei Heng just a few steps away. However, during today's hunt, he was surrounded by countless royal relatives and nobles, and she couldn't get close to him at all.
Whether Pei Heng intentionally avoided her or had forgotten about her as his elder sister, she didn't know. Ever since her marriage, no matter what she sent to the palace or how many messages she conveyed, his response was indifferent; he never asked her to come to the palace to see him.
He must be too busy.
The tall, lush pine and the slender, delicate gardenia are ultimately not meant to be together. When they are young, they can lean on each other, but as they grow up, they will only drift further and further apart.
A slight sense of loss washed over Yuezhi, but she quickly rallied. She had a consort, and Aheng would eventually have an empress. Whether he still missed her or not was no longer that important to her.
Bored in the tent, she asked Huachun to help her go for a walk, and from afar she could hear people training horses on the grassland.
Yuezhi leaned closer to listen to the rhythmic clatter of the horses' hooves and feel the softness of the grass beneath her feet, which made her feel exceptionally good.
The man on horseback, seeing her watching for a long time, called out to her, "Just watching isn't interesting, why don't you come up and sit for a while?"
The voice was bold and forthright, belonging to a woman.
Immediately, a man rode up to her, leaned down on horseback, and spoke in close proximity, "You are Princess Ning'an, bestowed the title by the Emperor? You are truly beautiful, but these eyes... are you blind?"
Huachun: "Reporting to the Fourth Princess, my princess's title is Ning'an. She has an eye ailment and is unable to ride a horse. Thank you for your kindness, Fourth Princess."
Pei Yao glanced at Hua Chun, then her gaze returned to Yue Zhi. "Since your maid says so, would you like to come up and try riding a horse?"
Yuezhi was eager to try, but after she lost her sight, there were only a few things she could do each day. It was already a pity that she couldn't see the mountain scenery when she finally went on the autumn hunt, and it would be a real shame if she didn't even get to touch a horse.
After she nodded hesitantly, before Huachun could dissuade her, Pei Yao reached out and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her onto the horse.
Sitting sideways on horseback, with your feet dangling in the air and unable to touch anything, is both tense and exciting.
Seeing her curious expression, Pei Yao smiled and told her to sit with her legs apart, hold on to the saddle, and then rode her around the grassland twice.
"Haha, the wind here smells like fresh grass." Yuezhi wasn't scared at all; instead, she laughed happily.
Pei Yao urged her horse to speed up, and hearing her laughter in the wind, she herself felt inexplicably better. She was so happy just sitting on horseback for a short while; Princess Ning'an was truly easy to please.
After a while, Pei Yao dismounted, carried the person down, and returned them to Hua Chun, who was terrified.
He said cheerfully, "What's there to be afraid of? I've been riding horses for over twenty years. I can carry a nine-foot-tall man steadily. With your princess's physique, I could handle three more of them."
Hua Chun helped Yue Zhi up, "Fourth Princess, please don't frighten me. My princess is weak and can't take a fright."
Yuezhi patted her hand and said to Pei Yao, "I'm fine. It was my first time riding a horse. It felt so good to be sitting high up and feeling the breeze. Thank you, Fourth Princess."
Pei Yao: "No need to be so polite. You are a princess bestowed by the Emperor, so you are also my sister. You can call me Fourth Sister or Pei Yao, it's fine either way."
Yuezhi: "Fourth sister, just call me Yuezhi. But I didn't hear that any other princesses would be coming before I came. When did you return to the capital, fourth sister? Did you also come to the hunting grounds with your husband?"
Pei Yao smiled helplessly, "I just returned to the capital yesterday. I was originally going to marry into Yuezhou, the southernmost prefecture, but my husband passed away early, and I have no children. I didn't want to stay in Yuezhou to deal with the tedious household affairs, so I requested permission to return to the capital. The Emperor is benevolent, and I am comfortable in the capital. When I heard that the Emperor was going on an autumn hunt, I came along."
Upon hearing this, Yuezhi was surprised. Her voice was clear and crisp, and she hadn't expected that she had experienced so many changes in her life.
"May I ask your age, sister?"
"I have been married for twelve years and I am twenty-eight this year."
"I'm about the same age as my sister, twenty-five this year."
"Twenty-five?" Pei Yao smiled and looked her up and down. "I thought you were about the same age as the Emperor. You look like you're not even twenty yet, but you're only three years younger than me?"
Yuezhi was a little embarrassed. "I'm inexperienced. I only got married a month ago. I don't have many things to worry about, and I don't know many skills, so I seem a bit clumsy. Please don't laugh at me, sister."
“Why would I laugh at you? Those daughters of noble families are all very precious. They look down on me because I am a widow and don’t like to come near me. Only you, who don’t even know who I am, dare to get on my horse.”
Pei Yao said with a half-smile, half-teasing, "You're so naive and easily trusting. Be careful you don't get fooled one day."
Yuezhi blushed slightly as she explained, "The royal hunting grounds are heavily guarded, so there are no bad people there. Perhaps it's because you, like the Emperor, are skilled in riding and archery and are open and majestic that I felt a sense of kinship after just a few words with you."
When she was a palace maid, she heard about the Fourth Princess's deeds. She knew that her mother was of humble birth and died young. She herself was not favored, but she was more like a princess than any other princess. She was responsible and had a strong spirit. She was proficient in riding horses and archery. Unfortunately, as a woman, she had no chance to show her talents before she was married off to a general guarding the border.
"Hahahaha." Pei Yao laughed heartily, "Everyone says it's not dignified for me, a woman, to ride horses and hunt, but you actually compared me to the Emperor and said I'm mighty."
“We’re all human, what can’t we compare?” Yuezhi spoke with a bit more conviction. Even if Pei Heng were standing right there, she could still say the same thing.
The two were of similar age and got along very well upon first meeting. No one noticed that in the woods not far away, a figure in blue was gazing intently in their direction.
Pei Yao laughed heartily. Hearing the hunting horns sounding in the forest, perhaps influenced by Yue Zhi's admiration, she mounted her horse.
"Thank you for your praise. Then I'll go and show my face before the Emperor and hunt some wild game for you to eat."
"Okay." Yuezhi nodded happily and saw her off.
Not far away, dark clouds loomed over the city, like thick ink spreading across the sky, and a sudden rain began to fall.
"It's raining!" Huachun panicked a little, raised her sleeve to shield Yuezhi from the rain, looked around to see where to take shelter, and turned back to find that Yuezhi, whom she had been protecting, was gone.
In the sudden downpour, the man wrapped his coat around her to shield her from the rain. The light blue fabric blended into the color of the grass in the hazy rain, making it difficult to recognize her. He took Yuezhi away alone, and no one chased after him.
Yuezhi was a little dazed. She tried to find shelter from the rain but was pulled close by warm clothes that smelled of pine and ink. She couldn't hear Huachun's calls from behind because of the heavy rain.
She was led along naively until they reached a tree where they could take shelter from the rain. She handed her clothes back to him, and as her fingertips touched the man's smooth palm, she nervously stepped back.
"Who are you?"
After the embarrassing experience of switching babies last time, she can no longer simply identify someone by their scent.
"I am your consort." Looking at the princess who was wary of him, Liang Zhang felt a deep sadness.
But she replied, "No, you are not the prince consort."
Liang Zhang was shocked, "Princess, have you forgotten that day..."
He wanted to recall the wedding day, the ceremony of bowing to heaven and earth in the hall, and that bright moonlit night when she rushed to his side and threw herself into his arms. He knew about her forbidden love with the emperor, but how could she not acknowledge his status as the emperor's son-in-law?
Before he could finish speaking, an arrow shot through the rain from the forest, its arrowhead deeply embedded in the tree trunk beside his face, only a finger's width away from his head.
Yuezhi only heard a thud and didn't know what had happened, but Liang Zhang's face had turned deathly pale.
He saw Pei Heng riding through the rain in the woods, and once again saw that hostile expression on his face.
The young man rode up on horseback, bent down and helped Yuezhi onto the horse. When she felt flustered, a gentle "Don't be afraid, it's me" immediately calmed her down, and she shrank into his arms.
She whispered, "Was that person impersonating you the colleague you drank with that day? He doesn't seem to be of good character."
Liang Zhang felt as if he had fallen into an ice cave.
He understood everything. That was why the Emperor forbade him from getting close to the princess and from saying a word to her. Every time he got even slightly close to the princess, the Emperor would rush over to interrupt him.
Because they were not lovers who truly understood each other; the emperor had deceived her and impersonated him.
The princess truly wanted to marry, and the husband she truly loved was him; he was the one who should have been her husband!
The rain blurred his vision. He longed to shout to her, "I am your true husband," but the words stuck in his throat. Whether it was due to his overwhelming frustration or the inescapable distinction between ruler and subject, he ultimately remained silent.
He lost.
They lost because they followed the rules too rigidly and were too honest with themselves.
To win her over, the Emperor risked destroying their sibling bond and used every means at his disposal. Yet, he couldn't even feign compliance, watching helplessly as the Emperor took her away from him time and time again, not daring to even tentatively try to persuade her to stay.
Therefore, even if the emperor gains both the empire and the beauty, he can only ever be a subject who is controlled.
The two had already left. Liang Zhang stood under the tree, waiting for the rain to stop, but instead received an urgent imperial edict.
Jinbao, soaked by the rain, delivered the imperial edicts: "Your Highness, here are two secret edicts. One grants you a divorce from the princess, and the other transfers you to the position of Vice Prefect of Anzhou. Anzhou is the most prosperous place in Jiangdong. If you do well as an official here, your future will be limitless."
"Your humble servant accepts the decree." The emperor still valued him. Liang Zhang knelt to receive the imperial decree, feeling both sorrow and joy.
Thinking back to the fact that he had never even seen the princess's face at the beginning, he wanted to cherish her, simply to fulfill his loyalty to the emperor.
After much back and forth, the emperor took away his wife, but also believed in his loyalty—he didn't punish those who were innocent, but punished those who were wrong; he was both selfish and magnanimous, making it impossible for anyone to resent him.
*
Inside the tent, soaked clothes lay scattered on the floor.
Yuezhi stood by the bathtub, arms crossed, as the young man wiped her entire body with a cloth. Every spot that had been wet by the rain was cleaned, but gradually, his breathing became heavy, and the cloth in his hand intentionally or unintentionally touched places it shouldn't have.
She couldn't see his expression, but she sensed he was sulking. However, she had already explained the misunderstanding earlier, so what was he still angry about?
After her weakness was exposed once again, Yuezhi turned away and, unusually, lost her temper.
"If you continue to bully me like this, you won't be sleeping in this tent tonight, so you won't have to keep quiet and get angry, and you won't be so rough with your hands."
Hearing her scolding, Pei Heng felt a pang of nostalgia, unfolded the cotton cloth and wrapped it around her, then hugged her from the side.
Will you love me forever?
She thought he would say something sarcastic, but instead he said such sweet and cheesy words. Yuezhi felt a slight itch in her heart and leaned into his arms.
"We are husband and wife, of course I will love you."
"What if, over time, you discover that I'm not as good as you imagined?"
"No one in the world is perfect. I like you. Your good qualities are like a profusion of flowers, and I can never get enough of looking at you. Even if you have flaws, they are just like the green leaves among the flowers. The intermingling of flowers and leaves is natural and pleasant, and the scenery is like a painting."
Listening to her gentle words, Pei Heng felt much more at ease. He hugged her tightly and inhaled her fragrance.
She could always tolerate all his flaws; despite her fragile and vulnerable body, she held up a piece of sky in his heart.
How could he bear to let go of Yuezhi like this?
Despite the deception, he was still her true husband, fulfilling the duties of husband and wife, and receiving all her love.
With her soft fragrance in his arms, he couldn't help but feel restless and his desires gradually gained momentum, which he couldn't suppress with reason.
Yuezhi sensed something, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks flushed. Her brief compliance made him realize her feelings, her loose black hair was lifted, and a passionate kiss landed on the back of her neck.
The rain outside the tent continued to fall, like tiny drops of jade falling on the heart. Breaths mingled beside her, each breath carrying the familiar scent of pine and ink from the young man and the delicate fragrance of gardenia hair oil from her hair.
Her semi-dry body was extremely sensitive to any touch. Lying on the bed, which was larger than her bed at home, she had to hold on tightly to the person on top of her at all times to avoid falling off the bed.
"My lord, weren't you supposed to take a bath...?"
"Let's shower together when we're done."
Yuezhi shyly buried her burning cheeks deeper into his shoulder. He chuckled softly, tightening his grip on her arm.
Driven by passion, a tiger hunts its prey in the tent, and a nightingale weeps.
Outside the tent, autumn rain poured down, keeping out the damp chill, but the warmth rising between them was intimately close.
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