Chapter 56.56 She couldn't possibly be wrong.
Having a child is a difficult thing.
Yuezhi's belly grew bigger day by day, and she couldn't sleep well at night even with someone by her side. She often woke up in the middle of the night with a racing heart, frequently got up to get up, and would cry for no reason, only to feel extremely hungry a little later...
When Pei Heng left court, she had just woken up in the morning. While she was getting ready, breakfast had already been prepared.
After the meal, Pei Heng carefully coaxed her to drink the warm medicine to prevent miscarriage, taking meticulous care of her.
By the fourth month, Yuezhi's pregnancy symptoms became more and more obvious. Her emotions fluctuated for no reason, she had wild thoughts, and was anxious. Several times, she was laughing one moment and then tears fell silently the next.
Pei Heng patted her back and asked her why she was sad.
Yuezhi stammered and couldn't answer... Despite his changed figure, Pei Heng's enthusiasm for her remained undiminished. He accompanied her day and night, and every sweet word and every act of care proved his sincere love for her.
She loved the beauty and happiness she felt in the moment; everything was so perfect that she was so happy she wanted to cry, yet there was also a slight sense of unease.
I don't know what I'm afraid of, but I just feel like something's not right.
She couldn't explain it, but once that awkward feeling came over her, she couldn't stop the sadness in her heart and tears streamed down her face.
Pei Heng knew that this was her first pregnancy and that she lacked a real title to back her up, which was why she was so volatile. He repeatedly suggested that he take her into his harem, but Yue Zhi cried even harder.
She didn't want to become his concubine while pregnant. She couldn't protect her health, and she had to consider her reputation. She couldn't keep retreating and falling to the point of being despised by others.
Pei Heng dared not try to persuade her any further, and could only take even better care of her, try to make her happy, and win her favor.
Be her eyes, and talk to her about everything from national affairs to today's sunshine, shall we? How many crabapple blossoms have opened in the Imperial Garden? How many more swallows have hatched under the eaves...
Days passed by, and one day, Jinbao came in carrying a bundle, saying that it was a gift from Pei Yao, sent by fast horse from Jiangdong, to Yuezhi.
Inside Jinghezhai, Pei Heng untied his bundle, a smile appearing on his face, and turned to tell Yuezhi, who was sitting on a soft couch arranging silk threads.
"They are tiger-head shoes, four pairs in total. They are exquisitely made, and the colors of red and green are very auspicious. They are so tiny that the four pairs put together are not even as big as my hand."
Yuezhi twirled the thread on her fingertip and chuckled, "Fourth Sister is really... The baby hasn't even been born yet, and she's not in a hurry to wear it, so she had it sent from afar. Just like you, she's impatient."
Pei Heng walked over holding a pair of tiger-head shoes and placed them in his hands. "Your elder sister is a treasure, and the one she is carrying is an even greater treasure. She deserves the best things. Even if she can't wear them yet, we should prepare them as soon as possible."
She touched the small, soft shoes, feeling the dense stitches and raised embroidery on them with her fingertips, knowing that there was a longing from afar, and her heart was filled with warmth.
“Aheng…” she called him softly.
"What's wrong?" Pei Heng turned his head to look at him, his gaze gentle.
Yuezhi stroked the tiger-head shoes, a soft maternal look on her face. "Fourth sister's blessings for the child have all arrived. When the child is born, I should also add to his good fortune."
Pei Heng asked with great interest, "Does Your Majesty have any good ideas?"
“I think…” Yuezhi turned her gentle face slightly to the side, with a hint of shyness and nervousness, “How about using the red veil from my wedding? Just cover him with it, so he can share in that perfect and joyous blessing, and be protected for a peaceful and smooth life, what do you say?”
Upon hearing this, Pei Heng's body stiffened slightly.
That night, he disguised himself as her husband and, taking advantage of the darkness and her blindness, consummated their marriage. He personally lifted the veil covering her face, revealing her beautiful features.
His obsession with Yuezhi and the irreparable deception both began that night. He didn't regret his decision then, but he wasn't entirely without guilt.
At this moment, she surprisingly offered to use the veil from that night to pray for their child.
Is this fate?
What he considered an impulsive and sinful act actually led to their marriage, and afterwards, to a peaceful and joyful family of three.
The veil he lifted was then draped over his child, as if by some unseen force, Yuezhi accepted his ruthless love.
If the truth were to come out one day, and she learned the truth, considering that they had been husband and wife and for the sake of their child, and because she was such a soft-hearted person, wouldn't she... be able to hate him a little less?
After a long silence, Yuezhi explained, "It's not that I don't want this child to acknowledge you, it's just that I and the Prince Consort are destined to be together, and the child is related to him by blood. The joy and fulfillment we felt back then were real. It's not that I still miss him, it's just..."
“I know you are a soft-hearted person who cherishes old feelings. Even if he disappeared without saying a word, you would not hate him.”
Pei Heng smiled with satisfaction, gazing at her round, fair face, which was like warm jade after being nurtured, even more delicate and alluring. He couldn't help but lean over and kiss her cheek.
"I know that the veil is of great significance to you. Now that you and I are a perfect couple, the most complete blessing in the world should be given to our child."
He couldn't even wait, so he immediately summoned a young eunuch and ordered someone to fetch the red veil from the princess's residence and prepare it in advance.
The young eunuch accepted the order and hurried away.
Yuezhi was startled by his sudden seriousness, and a warm feeling welled up in her heart.
He thought to himself: This child is not his own flesh and blood, yet he values her so much, constantly calling her "my child" and "our child." It's because he loves her so much that he treats her too well.
Aside from her deceased husband, who else had ever shown her such unwavering tolerance and love?
Yuezhi nestled into his arms with practiced ease, a smile she couldn't hide on her lips: "Aheng, you treat him so well, he will surely respect and love you in the future... respect and love your father."
Pei Heng laughed heartily and hugged the person tightly.
The two nestled together, the sunlight streaming through the window elongating their shadows, making them seem intertwined and inseparable.
*
July arrived in the blink of an eye, the weather was getting warmer, and the capital was full of greenery. The cicadas in the Imperial Garden were noisy, so the emperor ordered them to be caught to prevent them from disturbing Yuezhi's rest.
Yuezhi is five months pregnant now, her appetite has returned to normal, and her spirits have improved.
During meals, the small Jinghezhai restaurant was filled with delicious aromas.
The table was laden with dishes meticulously prepared by the Imperial Kitchen, their aromas irresistible. There were also a few simple stir-fried side dishes, which Pei Heng had personally prepared for Yuezhi at the Imperial Kitchen after leaving the Hall of Diligent Governance.
Strangely enough, ever since that night's stewed chicken with wild mushrooms, Yuezhi's appetite has become even more discerning, yet she still loves Pei Heng's cooking. He doesn't need expensive ingredients or spices from the Western Regions or Southern Yue; a simple dish is enough to whet her appetite.
"Try this." Pei Heng picked up a piece of food with his chopsticks and put it in her bowl. "The weather is getting warmer and warmer, and there are all kinds of fresh vegetables available, so I cooked some of each for you."
Yuezhi scooped it up with a spoon, took a bite, and it was a familiar home-style taste. The cooking and seasoning might not be top-notch, but it was the kind of home-cooked flavor that only he could make.
"It's delicious, refreshing and not greasy at all." She raised her face and gave him a gentle smile. "I've been eating too much good food lately. Shouldn't I eat some vegetables to cool down? You're so thoughtful."
Pei Heng listened, and his brows relaxed.
Her complexion has improved a lot recently, and she is no longer as weak and powerless as she was a while ago. Her emotions are not easily agitated, and she has finally stopped shedding tears that make his heart ache.
Summer's vitality surrounded her; the trees were lush and green, the sky was azure, and the breeze was refreshing.
Every day, Yuezhi would eat, take medicine, listen to operas, and stroll in the Imperial Garden. While Pei Heng was busy with state affairs, she would occasionally go to the Hall of Diligent Governance to sit and talk to him. Most of the time, she would be quiet, with a gentle smile on her lips, sitting aside and busy with her work.
On this day, Pei Heng was discussing state affairs with his senior officials. Not wanting to disturb them, she had someone invite He Zhiyan to the palace to watch a play.
He Zhiyan's baby was a month smaller than hers, and she had just gotten over morning sickness, so she craved food the most.
The two sat in the warm pavilion, listening to the melodious tunes from below the stage, eating warm snacks and fruits, and laughing happily.
He Zhiyan ate until she was half full, then crossed the small table between the two of them, took her hand, and carefully examined her complexion.
She sighed with relief, "When I first heard that you had gone to the palace to rest during your pregnancy, I was worried that you wouldn't be able to adapt. But now that I see you're doing so well, and even more beautiful than when you were a young girl, I'm relieved."
Yuezhi smiled and said, "It's all thanks to the Emperor's good care."
He Zhiyan understood, lowered her eyes to hide the complex emotions in them, and smiled again, "Yes, His Majesty has always treated you well."
Then, she lowered her voice and probed, "Yuezhi, have you and the Emperor...?"
Yuezhi asked, puzzled, "What?"
He Zhiyan leaned over and whispered in her ear. The few words made Yuezhi blush. She wanted to pretend to be strong to cover it up, but then she thought, if she didn't tell Zhiyan these private things, who else could she tell?
He replied softly, "It happened last month, sometimes once a day, sometimes once every two days. He was considerate of my health and never forced me... This month, it's less frequent."
He Zhiyan looked pleasantly surprised, "Last month? Does that mean he did it as soon as your period was stable? I thought our Emperor was ignorant of human affairs and not interested in women, but I didn't expect him to be so diligent."
On the stage, a play depicting a happy reunion was being performed. The melodious sounds of the sheng and xiao filled the air, and the plot was both funny and touching. The sounds of gongs and drums masked the whispers between the two.
Yuezhi shyly twisted her fingers. "In the end, it's still my fault. I don't know what was wrong with me at that time. I felt sad and empty inside. When he came to hug me, I couldn't care about anything else. I just... Thinking about it, I feel really sorry for him."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," He Zhiyan comforted her. "The Emperor cares so much about you, so naturally he has you in his heart. He's overjoyed that you're willing to be with him."
Only He Zhiyan would say these words to her.
Yuezhi dared not imagine what Huaqing or Pei Yao's attitude would be if she told them the same thing.
Only Zhiyan, who married Liang Zhang a few months apart and became pregnant only a month apart, and who also experienced Liang Zhang's disappearance and the hardships of pregnancy, were able to understand each other better.
She had the palace maid bring out new snacks, and after He Zhiyan ate them again, she murmured, "He will have a proper wife and empress in the future. He may not care about what I did now, but I'm afraid his future empress will not tolerate me."
Seeing her unease, He Zhiyan smiled.
"Then why don't you become the empress?"
These words were shocking, and Yuezhi panicked upon hearing them, waving her hands repeatedly, "How could I possibly have the means to convince people? Not to mention that I've been married before, who in the whole world has ever heard of a blind empress?"
Those in positions of power must fulfill their responsibilities. I am the one who needs Pei Heng's care; how can I possibly share his burdens?
After saying that, she reminded him with lingering fear, "You mustn't say such things again. It makes me seem greedy, like I'm not satisfied with his help and want more."
He Zhiyan sighed silently, "You were like this before I got married, and you're still like this now."
"how?"
"You're too easily satisfied, always thinking of those around you, but you don't know how to plan for yourself." He Zhiyan smiled slightly. "But that's also your advantage. The Emperor is mature beyond his years, too shrewd. You can't stay by his side for long."
Only someone as innocent and somewhat naive as Yuezhi would believe the emperor time and time again, content with the little happiness she has now.
It was precisely her tolerant and soft-hearted nature that resonated with the emperor's dark and ruthless nature.
Perhaps because she was about to become a mother, He Zhiyan had become much gentler. Even though she knew that it was the emperor who had forced Liang Zhang away and had been coaxing Yuezhi to get close to him, she only felt that "both thunder and rain are the emperor's grace."
"Let's not talk about that anymore. Nothing is more important than our children these days." He Zhiyan quickly finished a plate of pastries and said shyly, "The pastries in the palace are so exquisite, not greasy at all. They can't compare to those in shops outside."
Yuezhi chuckled softly, then ordered several new dishes to be served and a pot of flower tea to be brewed for her to savor slowly.
The slow, melodious strains of traditional opera seem to slow down time itself.
Under the scorching July sun, a layer of trembling heat rose from the bluestone-paved palace path, and the glazed tiles on the vermilion palace walls were scalding hot, gleaming with dazzling light.
The eunuchs carried ice through the corridor, while the guards standing under the eaves stood ramrod straight, their heads slick with sweat. Several palace maids walked briskly with their heads down, their clothes billowing in the wind before clinging back to their bodies, disappearing into the shadows of the vermilion-lacquered corridor in the blink of an eye.
Inside Jinghezhai, a peaceful and tranquil atmosphere prevailed. Sunlight streamed through the greenery and into the windows, slightly reducing the heat.
Yuezhi leaned against the soft couch. Not far away was a jar full of ice. A maid gently fanned the ice, and a cool breeze blew over, relieving the stickiness on her body.
"Open your mouth."
Pei Heng sat to the side, peeling fresh lychees that had been presented as tribute from the south, removing the pits, and using a silver fork to bring the glistening flesh to her lips.
Yuezhi opened her mouth in response, gently placing her hands on her high, swollen belly, feeling the powerful movements of the little life within her.
Interestingly, after chatting with He Zhiyan about some private matters that day, my worries and anxieties lessened considerably, and I felt cheerful for several days. Suddenly, when I woke up, I felt incredibly relaxed all over.
The nausea, irritability, and fatigue that had plagued her for nearly three months vanished without a trace, as if melted away by the warm sunshine.
She leaned against the couch, the window half-open, and could clearly feel the fragrance of flowers drifting in with the breeze, and the birdsong was exceptionally clear.
Pei Heng noticed her gaze drifting away and smiled, "You look great today; you seem to enjoy your food."
“Yes,” Yuezhi nodded with a smile and extended her hand to him, “I’ve never felt so relaxed before. Thinking back to the past few months, I felt uncomfortable all over and it was really unbearable.”
Pei Heng grasped her wrist and helped her up.
Seeing her radiant smile, his mood was as bright and cheerful as the afternoon sun.
He casually remarked, "My sixth uncle from Lizhou has submitted several memorials this month, firstly to offer tribute of treasures, and secondly, to present me with beautiful women."
Yuezhi thought he was testing her attitude towards taking in new concubines, but she had no official title or status, had not yet become a concubine, and was no longer his proper sister, so how could she dare to express her opinion?
"The Sixth Prince meant well."
Pei Heng chuckled, reached out and flicked her nose with his fingertip, and began to lecture her in a serious tone, "I knew you would think this way. Have you forgotten what I told you last time so quickly? None of these people below are truly concerned for my harem."
"How so?"
“The shipping trade in Lizhou is frequent. My sixth uncle’s fief was not originally there. After my father released him from his military power, in order to appease him, he granted him a permanent residence in Lizhou. Over the years, he has made a lot of money in Lizhou. I suppose he heard that the salt inspector I sent was about to arrive, so he couldn’t wait to show his loyalty and send the beauty.”
“If that’s the case, then there’s really no need to pay attention to it.” Yuezhi said with some curiosity, “Which official did you send to inspect the salt? He was so efficient that he caused a stir even before he arrived.”
Pei Heng smiled and said calmly, "A promising talent who still needs more training. Open your mouth."
Yuezhi wanted to ask more, but the lychee that was brought to her mouth was stuffed back into her mouth. The lychee flesh was tender and the juice was sweet. After being chilled on ice for a while, it tasted refreshingly cool.
Pei Heng quickly changed the subject, briefly mentioning this one.
Night quietly fell, and the palace lanterns were lit.
The courtyard was much cooler in the evening. Pei Heng was in high spirits and ordered people to hang gauze curtains under the trees in Jinghezhai, set up reclining chairs and small tables, and have the palace servants bring out the snacks that Yuezhi liked and warm honey milk tea.
"It's a full moon today, why don't you join me for a while to admire it?" He walked into the room, his tone relaxed and at ease.
Yuezhi was feeling very stuffy in bed and couldn't fall asleep, so she went outside with him to cool off.
The moonlight, as clear as water, filtered through the branches and gauze curtains, casting a soft, gentle glow over the two of them.
"Today's moon is very big and round, just like the one we saw when I was thirteen years old and we celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival together. The moonlight illuminates your face."
As Pei Heng's detailed description reached her ears, scenes from many years ago floated into Yue Zhi's mind, overlapping with the warmth and harmony of the present moment, as if transcending time.
Pei Heng lay on the recliner, pulled her into his arms, and whispered in her ear, "Back then it was just the two of us, but from now on it will be the three of us. I will protect you both and never betray you for the rest of my life."
His words were sincere and fervent, landing warmly into Yuezhi's heart.
She gently propped herself up and replaced all words with a kiss as light as a feather.
"Royal sister... mmm, so sweet..." Pei Heng obediently opened his mouth, enticing her to go deeper.
When their emotions ran high, his hands slid down her arms and naturally found her hands. He pressed his palms together and slowly interlocked his fingers with hers.
His warm, dry palms gripped her tightly, and Yuezhi's heart skipped a beat at this silent possession.
In the past, whether she was irritable, anxious, or aggrieved, or lost in passion on the bed, or when they gently touched each other through the fabric, she never paid much attention to those subtle similarities.
But tonight, she was so awake.
His breathing, his heartbeat, and the cool moonlight shining beside him were all so real to her, she could perceive them clearly.
At that moment, an extremely familiar sensation, almost etched into her very bones, came from their pressed palms...
Countless nights, those same calloused hands had roamed over her skin, gently caressing her countless times, tenderly lingering, precisely finding every spot that made her tremble, giving her pleasure and bringing her peace of mind.
She couldn't see, so she remembered every detail of when he held her palm tightly, even the location of the calluses, which she traced with her fingertips and memorized with her body...
She would never admit her mistake!
Yuezhi froze for a moment, only snapping back to reality when her tongue was gently bitten.
"Are you lost in thought? Or just sleepy?"
Perhaps she had become suspicious, but even the voice in her ear sounded so similar—a lazy, doting gentleness, and though it was a young man, it had the composure of a mature man—it was exactly the same voice!
Yuezhi blinked, her heart almost stopping.
Suppressing the turmoil in her heart, she barely managed to keep her voice steady, gently pulling her hand away from Pei Heng's tight grip, and following his lead, feigning drowsiness.
"Aheng, I'm a little sleepy and want to rest early." Her voice trembled slightly, carrying a hint of deliberate vulnerability.
She pursed her lips and lowered her head, avoiding his gaze.
Pei Heng remained silent for a moment, wondering how the ambiguous and sweet atmosphere from just moments ago had suddenly disappeared.
Considering her recent emotional turmoil and how she had improved in the past two days, and that there might be a relapse, I didn't dare to ask further. I took the thin blanket from the palace maid, wrapped it around her, and carried her back to her room.
"You should rest well." His voice remained gentle and normal. "If you feel unwell, have someone summon me immediately."
Yuezhi responded softly, closed her eyes tightly, and listened to his footsteps fade into the distance. She then whispered a few words to the maid on duty outside the door before everything returned to silence.
But how could she possibly fall asleep?
In the darkness, the chilling sensation in her palm lingered, like a red-hot branding iron searing every line on her hand.
Those must be the prince consort's hands, but why Pei Heng's? Are there two people with similar voices and even the exact same calluses on their palms?
Her chaotic thoughts gripped her tightly, almost suffocating her.
Yuezhi felt a tightness in her chest and could barely form a coherent sentence to explain her confusion.
The Prince Consort, Pei Heng—two completely different people, how could they be so alike?
Perhaps she misremembered... She had been living too comfortably these days, completely forgetting about the Prince Consort, and had had so much contact with Pei Heng. Since she couldn't see him, she mixed up her memories related to the two of them.
Yes, that must be it.
She was in a daze until late at night, when her mind was too tired to bear it any longer, and she finally fell into a deep sleep.
*
Red candles burn brightly, and a warm fragrance wafts through the air.
Inside the bridal chamber, she sat on the edge of the bed covered with a brocade quilt adorned with a hundred children, dressed in a bright red wedding gown. Through the gap under her red veil, she saw someone slowly walking towards her.
The newcomer gently lifted her veil. Looking up, she met a pair of intense and focused eyes. He was handsome, with a clear and strong jawline and a smile playing on his rosy lips.
It's Pei Heng.
He leaned down, his breath hot, and kissed her lips and neck. He loosened her clothes, peeling away the layers of her elaborate red dress. The young man's impatient movements carried an irresistible force and a raw, reckless energy.
His rough palms roamed over her body, igniting a fiery heat that made her breath ragged and her body go limp like a pool of spring water, allowing him to take whatever he wanted.
The red curtains sway gently, revealing a scene of enchanting spring.
Gradually, those hands became damp and sticky.
A faint, nauseating smell of blood mingled with the sweet, warm fragrance in the air, growing stronger and more pungent.
She sensed something was wrong and frantically tried to push him away, but her fingertips touched something wet and warm.
When I opened my eyes, all I saw was a scene of blood.
His hands were stained with blood, a cunning and eerie smile played on his lips, and his eyes, filled with lust, stared at her silently like a beast in the night.
"Yuezhi, please don't get married, okay?"
"Even if you kill me, I will not let you leave."
"Why doesn't Your Majesty come to the palace to keep me company?"
"I will treat this child as my own... We are a family again, and I am truly happy."
He didn't speak, but all the sounds overlapped and repeated in her mind, like wild grass growing and taking root in her heart, plundering nutrients, and converging into a single sentence.
—You're finally mine.
Yuezhi's heart pounded wildly as she suddenly woke up from her nightmare. She sat up abruptly, gasping for breath, drenched in a cold sweat. The heavy smell of blood from her dream seemed to still linger in her nostrils.
In the darkness, she trembled and instinctively reached for the embroidered pillow, but couldn't find it. She could only hug her stomach tightly.
Fear, like a cold, venomous snake, coiled around her neck, making it hard for her to breathe.
Pei Heng's eerie smile from my dream is still vivid in my mind.
A terrible thought crept into her mind: the prince consort wasn't missing!
It was Pei Heng; he killed the prince consort!
That's why the prince consort disappeared without a trace! No one who went to search for him could find a single clue. The Liang family lost a son, yet they didn't make a fuss about it, silently enduring the pain to this day, and they wouldn't even erect a cenotaph for him.
Besides Pei Heng, who else could accomplish such a thing?
Yuezhi dared not think any further. She covered her mouth, and suppressed sobs escaped through her fingers, her eyes welling up with tears.
There will be no peace this night.
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