Chapter 55 I will treat him as my own son.
The few candles in the bedchamber gradually went out. No palace servants came in to add more lamps, and soon only a dim lamp remained, with the wick occasionally crackling and sputtering out a spark.
Between the beds came the sticky, wet sounds of lips and tongues touching, echoing softly in the quiet, empty Taiji Hall throughout the long, silent night.
Yuezhi felt confused. Her slender arms and soft body were separated and clung to his hot body. She didn't know if she was clinging to him on purpose or if his arms supporting her waist were too strong, making her feel like she was floating steadily in the air, even though she was half-suspended.
She once thought that the "sibling relationship" she had built on gratitude alone, without any blood ties, was as fragile as paper. Later, when the prince consort disappeared, it was Pei Heng who patiently pieced her broken body back together.
He has been doing everything he can to be good to her.
Even though her identity wasn't recorded in the imperial genealogy, even though she had married someone else and was pregnant with another man's child, he still treated her the same as before, kissing her devoutly and gently.
"No...not there..."
"What should I do? Yuezhi, teach me."
He was so young and clumsy, giving her his first kiss in a rough and impulsive way, and now the burden of his studies has fallen on her shoulders.
Yuezhi felt a burning sensation in her heart. She placed her hands on his chest, feeling his intense heartbeat, and completely lost her composure.
The ten years they spent together, the six years of their age difference, and the brief but real, heartwarming sibling bond—everything floated into her mind like a thin but resilient veil, which had been obscured in the past but now constantly reminded her of the boundaries between them.
With her permission and patient guidance, the veil was eventually torn away.
Yuezhi froze instantly, even her breathing trembled.
Overwhelmed by guilt and remorse, she realized that for her own pleasure, she had completely destroyed the sibling bond between them, and there was no turning back.
The tears welling up in her eyes were hard to tell whether they were from the sadness of losing her "younger brother" or from the happiness that filled her heart.
Blind Yuezhi turned her face to the side, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't see the pair of aggressive eyes behind the falling yellow curtain, their depths gleaming with unusual excitement.
It's been a long time since I've had this, and it would be a lie to say I don't want to.
Although Pei Heng considered himself a beast who would do anything to achieve his goals, he couldn't bear to let Yue Zhi suffer. He finally had the chance to help her with prenatal care after she was three months pregnant.
With utmost patience and endurance, he gently and slowly stained her slightly cool body with a warm, damp red, extinguishing one candle after another in the hall, enduring until sweat beaded on his forehead, the steaming sweat dripping down his face and onto the hollow of her heart.
Look at those towering peaks with their shimmering water, like a lake reflecting the sunlight—it's breathtakingly beautiful.
Pei Heng licked his lips, unable to contain his excitement, and carefully kissed her.
Noticing her tension, he paused for a moment, then suddenly chuckled softly, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the unexpected joy he had just experienced.
A soft voice sounded on the pillow, tinged with panic, "What was that...? It's so strange..."
The young man raised his head, and the dappled light filtering in from outside the tent outlined his smooth jawline and his youthful yet imposing features, his eyes filled with pure joy.
"Don't be afraid, elder sister. It's colostrum, so the taste is a bit strong. I won't let you taste it." Pei Heng reached out and carefully, even clumsily, touched her face.
Yuezhi vaguely remembered Su Jingyun telling her about the changes her body would experience during pregnancy, but at this moment, she was burning up with fever and couldn't remember anything.
She let out two shameful groans, "How could you? You really shouldn't have..."
After saying that, she felt sorry for him. She was not a concubine and should not have come to the Taiji Palace in the middle of the night, let alone lie on the dragon bed and have the emperor serve her.
Serving this already obese, milk-overflowing body requires careful tending; it is completely unable to withstand the passionate body of a young man.
After his sweat dripped down with patience time and time again, Yuezhi felt a sweetness like honey, but she never heard him sigh once. Behind each suppressed emotion was his restraint and cherishment, which moved her and made her feel even more guilty.
"Aheng...don't...I, I'll help you..."
Pei Heng took a deep breath and silently withdrew. His chest heaved violently with each breath, and his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat illuminated by the candlelight, revealing a wild beauty.
Seeing her turn over and awkwardly step forward, a hint of surprise appeared in the young emperor's eyes. He narrowed his phoenix eyes slightly, sat on the couch, and leaned back comfortably.
"Who did my elder sister learn that from?"
Yuezhi blushed and turned her head away, "Don't ask."
Seeing her blushing face, as red and alluring as a ripe cherry, Pei Heng's eyes began to stir with mischief. He deliberately retorted, "Was it the驸马 (the驸马) who taught her this? He talks about being a gentleman, but he's raised my beloved elder sister to be like this... like this..."
The teasing whispers turned into a wet blush on her lover's lips.
Yuezhi's eyes were red, her little face puffed up in grievance, and she wiped away the drool with her sleeve. "Don't talk about him. If you make jokes like that again, I'll go back to the princess's residence and won't need you to take care of me anymore."
"I won't say anymore, I won't say anymore." Pei Heng swallowed hard, feeling a comfortable sense of relaxation emanating from his body. He leaned forward and lovingly kissed the corner of her eye.
"My birthday is in two days."
He leaned down, his forehead gently touching hers, his gaze fixed intently on her eyes so close to his, his husky, satisfied voice scratching at her heart through her eardrums.
"Royal sister, thank you for giving me such a wonderful gift."
Yuezhi lowered her head, biting her lips until they turned red.
This is hardly a gift. She only heard about this method of relieving internal heat from Zhiyan when they were talking privately, and she only tried it on the spur of the moment. She stumbled and messed it up very badly.
Without getting a reply, Pei Heng's burning gaze seemed to see right through her. "You are the best gift."
In an instant, a crack appeared in Yuezhi's feelings of shame and guilt, and she felt much more relaxed.
Yes, what happened just now wasn't some earth-shattering entanglement, but simply the most ordinary exchange of heartfelt feelings and mutual comfort between a man and a woman deeply in love.
He held Yuezhi in his arms, and she lay down again.
The moon outside the window was hidden behind the clouds, the night sky was sometimes bright and sometimes dark, and the breathing inside the bedchamber rose and fell.
Sometime later, the last candle went out, and the young man contentedly embraced the tired, lightly sleeping woman, as if holding a lost treasure that had been found again. Soon, their breathing became even and long.
The palace was much larger than the princess's residence. The quiet of the morning was a secluded stillness, where not a sound could be heard.
Yuezhi could only hear her own breathing and the booming sound of her own heartbeat.
I opened my eyes to find the faint morning light filtering into the tent, the hazy light and shadows dispelling the darkness of the night.
A strange burning sensation lingered in her body, along with a profound sense of weakness, making it difficult for her to even turn to the side. She could only turn her head to look at the young emperor beside her.
His eyes were closed, his breathing steady, one arm still wrapped around her waist, his fingertips unconsciously caressing her protruding pregnant belly, making her heart itch through the thin nightgown.
Yuezhi tried to move his heavy arm away, but he snorted and tightened his grip, burying his face in the dark hair behind her neck.
"Don't move..." he mumbled, his voice hoarse with sleepiness and contentment.
The sun shone brightly outside the window, and a warm, powerful heartbeat emanated from the young chest behind me.
In a hazy moment, Yuezhi sensed that this was very similar to the scene a few months ago when she and her husband were deeply in love and their relationship was harmonious.
Time has passed, and she is no longer the same person she was then, nor is the man beside her.
Surprisingly, there was no sadness or nostalgia in my heart, only a tender happiness and longing for this moment.
She knew he would make an empress, and when he grew older, he would have a large harem. She didn't ask that their love would last long, she only hoped that while they could still love each other, they would have no regrets.
She closed her eyes, and soon after, the person beside her gently got up without waking her.
A gentle kiss landed on her lips.
Then he left.
After a while, Yuezhi slowly opened her eyes, touching the half-empty bed beside her. The bed seemed to still have the faint fragrance she had personally prepared, and the youthful scent that she had on her this year.
She let out a long sigh, reluctant to get up from the covers, and gently placed her hand on her lower abdomen, where a life was growing.
Last night, another life, with overwhelming force, left indelible marks on her body and heart.
*
The emperor's first birthday celebration after ascending the throne was held without extravagance in order to be frugal, but it was still a grand affair rarely seen in the capital.
From the vermilion palace gates all the way to the Hall of State Affairs, banners fluttered, and the air was filled with the scent of sandalwood and the faint smell of gunpowder from burnt firecrackers, mixed with the fragrance of the officials' court robes and the perfumes of the ladies' jewelry.
Yuezhi was dressed in palace attire, and the heavy headdress made her neck ache, just like her mood at that moment.
At noon, the main seat was left empty for the "Emperor's birth mother" who was unable to attend. She sat in the seat closest to the head of the table for women, surrounded by imperial relatives and first and second-rank noblewomen.
Before the feast even began, the pleasantries and flattery flowed like warm, sweet wine.
After the ceremony, the emperor received the congratulations of all the officials and returned to the inner palace to rest for a while, awaiting the palace banquet in the afternoon.
The court officials and nobles maintained their airs of high-ranking officials, while the women were more relaxed, sitting around the table. The conversation naturally turned to the birthday celebrant and his specially "favored" sworn sister.
The first lady of the Marquis spoke first, with a beaming smile.
"His Majesty is truly benevolent. After ascending the throne, he did not pursue the crimes of Empress Zhangsun in the past. Even though he did not make her Empress Dowager, he still left her the position of her birth mother, which is already an extraordinary act of kindness."
"If we're talking about who His Majesty truly values, it has to be our Princess Ning'an." The princess consort smiled and looked at Yuezhi in front of her. "His Majesty truly cares for you. He brought you into the palace to rest and recuperate at Baoguang Temple. Such favor is unique in the entire capital."
Yuezhi's fingers tightened slightly as she held the teacup. She forced a smile, lowered her eyelashes, and remained silent.
“That’s right.” Another princess consort chimed in, sighing, “Although the prince consort was unfortunate… alas, the princess was heartbroken at the time, but now things have finally turned around. With the emperor so considerate of the siblings’ relationship, the princess and the young prince will have a good life ahead of them.”
The four words "sibling affection" pierced Yuezhi's heart like needles.
Memories from the past few nights suddenly flooded my mind.
The scalding breaths, the firm embrace, the burning kisses on her skin, the gradual mastery of the massage from awkwardness to ease, and the deep, smiling "Royal Sister" made her ears burn and she could hardly sit still.
They thought it was just temporary comfort to each other, but the precious gifts were opened and closed again, and the days became absurd.
Yuezhi responded casually, feigning calmness.
Everyone in the capital knew that she was gentle and kind, and that winning her favor meant having a guarantee of security with the Emperor.
The widowed fourth princess was given a job and a fiefdom because of her friendship with her; the Liang family, who had a past relationship with her, were both given important positions, and the eldest daughter-in-law became pregnant; not to mention that in the assassination case, many people lost their official positions and titles, but Princess Ning'an spoke up to plead for them, saving two lives.
The topic of her was quickly taken over by others, and after a barrage of flattery, a distinctive elderly voice rang out.
"That's right. The princess is still young and has a long life ahead of her. Although losing her husband is a great misfortune, she must look forward, mustn't she?"
The older Duchess spoke kindly, "The most important thing now is to give birth to the child safely. Although the child is fatherless, he is pitiful..."
Before he finished speaking, the regret and pity in his words clearly permeated the room.
There was a moment of silence at the table.
Yuezhi felt countless gazes sweeping over her abdomen, some with sympathy, some with curiosity, and perhaps even a hint of barely perceptible contempt—a widow who had lost her husband's support, no matter how noble her status, was ultimately in an awkward situation.
At this moment, another shrewd voice rang out, breaking the silence: "You can't say that. How could our princess's little prince be pitiful? Have you forgotten that this child has the most distinguished 'uncle' in the world!"
"With the Emperor's love and care, the young prince has a bright future ahead of him. There's no need for us women to worry about him."
uncle……
Yuezhi's heart skipped a beat, as if something had gripped it tightly, and she even held her breath for a moment.
No one knows how, in the three days leading up to the Emperor's birthday, Pei Heng whispered sweet nothings in her ear, using the pretexts of "taking care of the children" and "resting on his health" to gently take advantage of her time and time again.
The emperor's kindness towards the mother and son was tinged with unspeakable, immoral feelings, but in the eyes of others, it was a natural and enviable intimate relationship.
A chorus of agreement arose from the surrounding crowd.
"Yeah yeah!"
"His Majesty will surely like the young prince."
"Of all the children in the capital, who has such good fortune?"
She was surrounded by compliments, envy, and blessings, and her laughter was sincere and enthusiastic.
Sitting in the heart of this warm and bustling place, Yuezhi felt a chill run through her body, fearing that people would see through her dignified facade and the shameful, intimate moment she shared with the emperor on the dragon bed.
She tried her best to maintain a polite, even slightly shy, smile, and nodded frequently to the ladies who offered their blessings.
Every word they uttered praising the "deep sibling bond" felt like a silent lashing at her conscience.
The more they envied this honor, the clearer Yuezhi realized the awfulness of her choice. They envied her unborn child for having a good uncle, but they didn't know that "uncle" was...
Yuezhi's heart was in turmoil.
She felt a sense of loneliness that no one understood.
The room was filled with women in splendid attire, chatting and laughing, discussing the same thing: the dazzling lights, the emperor's boundless grace, and the turning point from adversity to prosperity.
What she endured was the trembling in the dead of night when no one was around, the shame and transgression that surged into her heart after a brief sweetness, the panic of developing romantic feelings for Ah Heng, and the helplessness and depravity after being possessed by passionate emotions and a young body after suffering from loneliness.
When she's alone, she can deceive herself into thinking that this is for her and her child's good, and that it's just a temporary compromise.
When she was with Pei Heng, his unwavering love soothed all her anxieties, allowing her to enjoy the present moment.
Now, she only feels like a sinner.
Despite her title as a princess, she exploited the naive emotions and bodies of a young boy for her own selfish gain.
"Princess?" A maid beside her gently nudged her.
Yuezhi suddenly snapped out of her daze and realized that it was Huachun who was whispering a reminder to her. She looked up and saw that everyone was smiling at her and teasing her.
"Is the princess so happy that she's lost in thought? Or did she not get enough rest last night? She seems a little out of sorts."
"It's nothing." Yuezhi's voice was dry. She coughed twice and took a couple of sips of tea to cover her embarrassment. "It's just... I was just thinking that His Majesty has grown another year older, and I'm happy for him."
When the emperor was mentioned, everyone had a new topic of conversation.
As the banquet began, delicacies were served one after another, music was played and people danced, and the women chatted and laughed.
A scene of singing and dancing, joy and peace.
Yuezhi sat upright, trying her best to straighten her back and maintain the dignified demeanor befitting a princess. Listening to the laughter and chatter around her, she wore a faint smile on her face, but she couldn't feel happy inside.
Involuntarily, time and again, I looked towards the highest, most supreme spot at the banquet.
Absent-minded and distracted.
*
The noise receded like the tide, and back at Jinghezhai, Yuezhi finally found some peace and quiet.
She sat alone on the soft couch, her fingers unconsciously twisting the pearls adorning her sash. She couldn't calm her mind, so she had someone bring her embroidery basket, untie the knot she had woven earlier, and start weaving a new pattern.
There was some noise outside the courtyard, and the faint sound of palace servants greeting her in hushed tones could be heard. Yuezhi's heart tightened, and she subconsciously sat up straight.
The beaded curtain rustled softly as someone entered.
It's Pei Heng.
He had changed out of his heavy and imposing dragon robe and was now wearing a dark-colored casual outfit with subtle patterns. His long hair was tied up with a simple gold hairpin, and he carried the fresh and clean scent of a bath mixed with the aroma of hangover soup.
"Royal sister." A voice, tinged with laughter, approached slowly.
Ever since they had become intimate, he often did this, walking straight to her side without waiting for the palace servants to announce his arrival.
"Why did you come here?" She stood up in the direction of the voice, trying to put on her usual gentle smile.
“Today is my birthday. The banquet is over, and I don’t have to review any documents, so of course I have to come and keep you company.” He helped her sit down again and naturally sat beside her, looking at her face. “Are you tired? You didn’t seem very energetic at the banquet.”
Yuezhi lowered her head slightly, remained silent for a moment, and then spoke in a voice so soft it was almost inaudible: "Aheng..."
"Um?"
"I...the child in my womb...if we continue like this in the future...um..." She found it hard to speak, her cheeks burning, "How will we cope after this child is born?"
She finally asked the question, her heart pounding in her throat.
Perhaps he was using the child as an excuse to talk about their relationship, or perhaps he was just trying to save face. Whether he wanted to end it or continue, at least he had a chance to talk, so he wouldn't be led astray by his emotions again.
Pei Heng did not answer immediately upon hearing this.
He reached out, his palm warm, and gently placed it on her lower abdomen, his eyes filled with deep affection and focus.
He spoke solemnly, "It is naturally my child."
Yuezhi's heart tightened; his weighty promise landed on her heart, stirring up tender feelings.
"But……"
“No buts. I will treat him as my own son.” Pei Heng’s voice was slow, firm and serious. “He is the child you have painstakingly conceived. Whoever you choose as your husband will be his father.”
"Royal sister, you have no idea how happy I am that you chose me... I want to be your husband. This is our child, and I will take care of his future."
His hands were warm and strong, and through the thin fabric of her clothes, it seemed as if he wanted to imprint this promise into her flesh and blood, and pass it on to the little life inside her.
Yuezhi's eyes welled up with tears, and her vision blurred.
She hurriedly lowered her head, not wanting him to see her pathetic state with tears streaming down her face, but the scalding tears still fell uncontrollably, landing on the back of his hand.
Pei Heng took out a handkerchief and wiped away her tears.
"Don't cry, Your Majesty. This is a joyous occasion. We are family again. I am truly happy."
Yuezhi couldn't speak, she just nodded.
She was also very happy.
For myself, for the child in my womb, and for him.
Although the future is uncertain, and there is no certainty about how long this relationship will last or what it will ultimately become, at least Pei Heng loves her and is willing to give her and their child a promise.
His sincerity alone was enough to put her at ease.
She breathed softly, turned to the side, rested her cheek on his shoulder, nestled in his arm, and felt at peace.
The net was being stitched section by section, and the person beside her lay on the soft couch, turning scroll after scroll of books. The light coming in from outside gradually dimmed, and slowly, it got dark.
After a lavish afternoon banquet, the two of them enjoyed a simple, light meal at Jinghezhai after nightfall.
After the meal, Pei Heng still showed no sign of leaving.
Yuezhi understood without saying a word and didn't chase him away.
They each bathed and went to bed, blew out the candles, and were once again filled with passionate desire, kissing deeply and entwined, inseparable.
"No, the child... will feel it..."
"It's already familiar with me, it knows it's my parents' love, it's very well-behaved, and it's never made a fuss."
The young man's voice carried a tone of fatherly affection beyond his years, but his hand remained firmly in place, gently stroking the skin, a tender feeling of happiness rising in his heart.
His wishes and desires were finally fulfilled.
A soft groan escaped her lips, and Yuezhi murmured, biting his shoulder, "Aren't we doing this too often? Won't it be bad for the baby?"
"The imperial physician said that it will be much safer after three months. Besides, I'm holding back, so I won't make you and the baby uncomfortable."
"Are you just going to suffer in silence?"
"My elder sister cares about me and won't let me endure this for long..."
"You're such a chatterbox." Yuezhi mumbled a low hum, her throat tightening, her voice gradually breaking into disjointed tones.
She forgot all her sins and future prospects, wrapped her arms around his neck, and only wished to play among the flowers with him, to live happily ever after.
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