Chapter 7 Her fate was never in her own hands...
Almost instantly, a name popped into Lou Xueying's mind.
Li Pan.
In a few days, once the Quanrong envoys sign the tribute document, Li Pan will be granted the title of Marquis of Wu'an by Emperor Jinghui. Apart from those founding generals, no other military commander in Dayue has received such an honor during his lifetime. He is not the youngest official in the court, but he is the one who has risen the fastest, and because of his outstanding military achievements, he is highly trusted by the emperor.
Li Pan's threat was too obvious. Coupled with his habit of acting arbitrarily in the Northwest and his inability to integrate into the hypocritical atmosphere of "you all love me, I love you" in the capital, he was soon impeached on the grounds of having an army of his own and being arrogant and domineering. However, the emperor ignored him.
Li Pan declined the emperor's offer of marriage and returned to the frontier six months later. As he had predicted, although the Quanrong had submitted and were no longer able to resist Dayue, their decline allowed northern tribes to frequently harass them, even using the opportunity to pass through and disrupt Dayue's borders. Li Pan led several campaigns, driving the Quanrong out of their territory, and from then on, they remained docile.
During that time, Emperor Jinghui was in a good mood every day. Lou Xueying had also resigned herself to her fate and reconciled with him, so she asked him what he was happy about. Emperor Jinghui said, "It is thanks to Minister Li that our Great Yue border is peaceful. If we had listened to the slander and neglected Minister Li, or even found a pretext to demote him, not only would it have dampened the morale of the army, but it would have also greatly emboldened the ambitions of those barbarians. It would have been a loss."
Lou Xueying asked Emperor Jinghui, "Although he claims to be loyal, he doesn't even accept the marriage bestowed by Your Majesty. What if he really has ulterior motives?"
Emperor Jinghui laughed and said, "You haven't met Li Pan, so you don't know his character. Whether he has any ulterior motives is another matter, but his hatred for the capital is undeniable. He has offended a whole bunch of people in the capital without realizing it. If I hadn't let it go, he would have offended me too. In my opinion, he would rather be a local tyrant in the Northwest than stay in the capital."
Lou Xueying was surprised: "If he really is a local tyrant in the Northwest, how can His Majesty tolerate this?"
Emperor Jinghui: "If you were me, what would you do? There is a lack of capable generals in the court. Besides Li Pan, who else can shoulder this great responsibility? Are you going to let the court lose a valiant general for a possibility that has not yet occurred? Before internal troubles arise, external threats arrive first. What if Li Pan really has no disloyal intentions, and I kill him by mistake? Wouldn't I be infamous for ten thousand years?"
Until Emperor Jinghui's death, Lou Xueying had never heard of Li Pan getting married. Although she didn't know why, it was none of her business, and she didn't ask any further questions. After Emperor Jinghui's death, she completely cut off contact with the outside world. She didn't even know about her own family, let alone this man who was so far away from her.
Lou Xueying's breathing became rapid.
That expressionless, cold face reappeared before her eyes.
She thought that perhaps she could try marrying Li Pan.
Marrying Li Pan would be almost entirely beneficial. Although Li Pan was a warrior who killed without batting an eye, he wasn't known to be inherently cruel; at most, he was just straightforward. Such a person was much easier to deal with than those who kept their emotions hidden. Moreover, he came from a respectable family and had only one mother, so there would be almost no messy domestic affairs to deal with. Marrying him would definitely be a worry-free experience.
Most importantly, Li Pan dislikes the capital and will leave in six months. If she marries Li Pan, she can leave with him and go to the Northwest, thus bidding farewell to this place full of hidden dangers.
Going to the Northwest meant that she might never see her relatives in the capital again, but if she wanted to stay away from the emperor and the crown prince, she had no choice.
As long as she becomes the wife of the Marquis of Wu'an... even if the emperor discovers her true identity later, even if she accidentally encounters the Crown Prince again, it won't matter. They aren't fools; forcibly taking the wife of a border general is tantamount to provoking the border army and courting disaster. They wouldn't dare.
“Gathering water chestnuts, gathering water chestnuts!” Lou Xueying called out.
Cailing lifted the curtain and hurried in, exclaiming in surprise, "Miss, weren't you asleep?"
"Do me a favor," Lou Xueying said. "These next few days, go out and find out more about General Li's movements, such as who he met, whose banquets he attended, and so on. He has just arrived in the capital, so he will definitely have to attend various social events. Also, don't forget about his family situation. His mother has also come to the capital with him. Go and find out where she lives and what her daily life and habits are."
Cailing stared in disbelief: "Why are you asking about this?"
Lou Xueying knew that she couldn't hide this from her personal maid. If she wanted to marry Li Pan smoothly, she needed someone's help. So she took a deep breath and confessed to her, "I've taken a liking to General Li and want to marry him."
"What?!" Cai Ling was struck dumb, her jaw almost dropping.
Lou Xueying: "Keep your voice down. I'm only telling you this. You mustn't tell anyone else, especially your parents."
Cailing exclaimed in shock, "No, Miss, you, you, how could you possibly fall for him!"
"Is it strange that you've taken a liking to him?" Lou Xueying said, forcing a smile. "You saw General Li's demeanor today. He's tall, strong, and full of vigor. Besides, he's young and promising, and he has no wives or concubines. I saw many women on the street staring at him."
“General Li is indeed a good man, but… but… Miss, he’s a military officer! Don’t you hate those warriors who use swords and spears the most? Especially in the summer, their armor is heavy and they smell of sweat. You even take a detour when you see the imperial guards patrolling the capital on the street!” Cailing was completely puzzled. “Besides, General Li’s ancestors were farmers in the Northwest. It’s not that I look down on people, it’s just that… Miss, the difference between you two is too great. General Li is a rough man. He doesn’t understand the arts and crafts that you like!”
Lou Xueying: "..."
Cailing added, "Forget it, Miss. Maybe you usually only see young masters, and most of the guards in the capital are just pretty faces. Suddenly, a General Li who is so different from others appears, so you think he is special. Maybe you will forget about him in a few days."
Lou Xueying retorted angrily, "Am I really that kind of person you only think of on a whim?"
Cailing scratched her head: "The main thing is that General Li doesn't seem like the type you'd like, Miss... Should we reconsider? If you like his face, we can just admire him from the sidelines next time he goes out. But if you actually marry him, his looks won't put food on the table! Besides..." She whispered a reminder, "Don't blame me for being a jinx, but General Li is someone who's going to the battlefield to fight. What if another military emergency arises, and General Li goes to war and something happens... Miss, can you accept being a widow, or can you accept taking care of someone who's missing an arm or a leg?"
Lou Xueying: "..."
Admittedly, Cailing's concerns were not unfounded. But she couldn't very well tell Cailing that Li Pan's safety was not a concern for the foreseeable future, and that he would be alive and well for at least another five years…
Even if something were to happen to Li Pan someday, that would be a long time from now. Getting rid of the Emperor and the Crown Prince as soon as possible is more urgent. Besides, she's not a heartless person. Even if she used the marriage, she must still want to live a good life with Li Pan. As long as Li Pan doesn't let her down, it's only right that she take care of Li Pan, who is missing an arm and a leg.
As for the difference between the two that Cai Ling mentioned, she believed that Li Pan's nature was probably fine, and the conflicts in their lives could be resolved gradually. No matter how bad Li Pan was, he couldn't have been worse to her than the new emperor had been to her. What was there tolerable?
Lou Xueying couldn't persuade Cailing, so she resorted to being unreasonable: "I don't care, I've just fallen for him. I asked you to inquire about him because I wanted to know more about him, is that wrong? If you really object, you should show me the evidence you've gathered, instead of just spouting your guesses here. Besides, he's a great hero who has rendered meritorious service to the country, how can you start cursing him like this? Be careful that outsiders hear you and they'll beat you up!"
Cai Ling: "..."
When did Miss become like this? It's like she's been possessed by something.
Lou Xueying grabbed Cailing's hand again and pleaded, "Good sister, please help me find out. If Li Pan and I get together, then you will be a meritorious matchmaker. If we don't get together, then it must be Li Pan's fault. You saved me from this predicament, so you will still be meritorious!"
"This servant wouldn't dare accept such praise." Cailing shook her hand, goosebumps rising all over her body. "What if this servant really doesn't find anything wrong with him? Miss, are you really determined to marry him? Isn't that too hasty? Shouldn't you ask Master and Madam for their opinions?"
Lou Xueying mumbled, "Of course, my parents will have to make the decision then, but I just want to prepare in advance! What if they find out and think I'm frivolous?"
Cai Ling's lips twitched: "So, Miss, you knew..."
Lou Xueying: "Cailing, just tell me if you'll help me or not—"
"Help, help, help, I'll help you, okay?" Cailing was at her wits' end and said helplessly, "Miss always says that she hasn't grown up yet and insists on staying at home and refusing to get married. Master and Madam also spoil her. Madam is right, the day Miss takes a fancy to someone, she will definitely be eager to get married. This is the first time Miss has been interested, so of course I have to take it seriously."
Lou Xueying smiled and said, "I knew Cailing would treat me the best."
Cailing: "Alright, Miss, you can rest assured that I've done my job. Didn't you say you were sleepy? Go and rest now, and stop thinking about General Li."
Lou Xueying nodded.
Watching Cai Ling leave, Lou Xueying's smile faded, and she lay back down in bed.
She wanted to marry Li Pan, and Cai Ling gave a long list of reasons why it was unsuitable, but she forgot the most important thing—whether Li Pan himself was willing.
Perhaps in Cai Ling's heart, there was no need to doubt that Li Pan would be unwilling. After all, being able to marry into a prestigious family like the Lou family in the capital and marry a noblewoman like Lou Xueying who was both talented and beautiful, the Li family's ancestral graves should be on fire, and Li Pan should be grinning from ear to ear.
But Lou Xueying knew that Li Pan didn't even want to marry a royal woman, so he might not really be willing to marry her.
Lou Xueying speculated that Li Pan's dislike of the capital city stemmed not only from his unhappiness there but also from the broken engagement he had suffered back then. At that time, Li Pan was young and impetuous, at the peak of his pride; how could he tolerate such humiliation? It's no wonder he held a grudge for many years.
As it turned out, Lou Xueying's background was exactly what he disliked.
She couldn't possibly rush up to Li Pan and say, "I'm not the kind of person you think I am, do you want to consider marrying me?" Li Pan would probably think she was crazy. She certainly couldn't play the game of developing feelings for him over time, letting him fall in love with her little by little—where would she find the opportunity or time for that? Li Pan left six months later!
Now that things have come to this, we have no choice but to act quickly.
I'm sorry, General Li. She apologized silently in her heart. Although I know you have no intention of getting married, I still insist on marrying you.
Lou Xueying knew that this was an unexpected disaster for Li Pan. Originally, Emperor Jinghui had no suspicions about him, but it was hard to say whether he would harbor some resentment towards Li Pan after discovering that "Su Jun" was Li Pan's wife.
She knew that choosing to marry another man to escape two men was a huge gamble. But if it weren't for Li Pan, she couldn't think of anyone else who could protect her. Although there were many powerful people in the capital, they might not be able to contend with the imperial power. Sacrificing a mere woman in exchange for the prosperity of the entire family might mean that the emperor would willingly hand her over without even having to force her.
But Li Pan... shouldn't be that kind of person.
She had no control over her own destiny, and if she had to depend on someone, she would rather depend on a man who had never harmed her or had any scandals.
The questioning from the new emperor in her previous life still echoed in her ears, as he vehemently questioned her, "Lou Xueying, do you have any sense of shame?"
--No.
She is a fickle, shameless, selfish, and petty person.
But she will try her best to be a good wife, to make up for Li Pan's shortcomings and please him. She wants Li Pan to know that there is nothing wrong with marrying her, to make him feel that "with such a wife, what more could a husband ask for?", and to make him truly love her and be willing to protect her for the rest of his life.
Only in this way can she stop living in fear, break free from the entanglements of her past life, and live a completely normal life.
-
Cai Ling was indeed quick to act; within a few days, she had found out the full situation of Li Pan's family.
“General Li and his mother live in a house in Anye Ward. However, today the Quanrong have submitted to the emperor and promised to pay tribute every year. His Majesty was so pleased that he bestowed the title of Marquis of Wu'an upon General Li, the greatest contributor to this battle, and granted him a separate mansion to live in. He should be able to move in in a few days.” At this point, Cai Ling looked at Lou Xueying with some amazement. “Miss, you really know how to judge people. Our Dayue hasn’t bestowed a new marquis title for many years. General Li is only twenty-eight years old, yet he has received such an honor!”
Lou Xueying: "What kind of person is his mother?"
Cai Ling: "The people around here all say that they only saw Li's mother enter the house on the day Marquis Wu'an entered the city, and they have never seen her leave the house since. When she goes shopping, it is the maids in the house who go out to buy things. She is just a thin and small woman, a little dark-skinned, nothing special."
"She hasn't left the house since?" Lou Xueying pondered. "She's just a peasant woman who traveled all the way from the Northwest. Doesn't she want to see the prosperity of the capital? Besides, her son is a rising star who's very popular. There must be many families who want to use her connections to win over Li Pan. Does she really not want to see a single one of them while she's holed up in the house?"
Cailing: "I also find it strange. If we really don't see any of them, wouldn't we offend people? But I heard that I saw a maid from the Li family go out to get medicine. It's very likely that Li's mother is sick. She's old and can't adapt to the new environment, so it's not surprising."
Lou Xueying: "What's Li Pan's situation?"
Cai Ling: "He is not on duty. He goes to court every morning and goes home after court. Except for the first night when he was given a banquet in the palace, he has been drinking and having banquets with people outside these past few nights. It is said that he has had affairs with the officials of the Ministry of War and the Ministry of Revenue."
Lou Xueying couldn't help but smile. It seemed that Li Pan wasn't so tough at this point, and still knew to maintain good relations with the people in the Ministry of War and the Ministry of Revenue.
"You inquired about these things without alerting the Li family, did you?"
"Of course not. The people are talking about Marquis Wu'an all the time. They'd grab anyone from his neighborhood and they'd be more diligent than spies in keeping watch! I'm nothing compared to him!" Cai Ling said. "By the way, the day after tomorrow is a day off. I heard that it's the 80th birthday of the old mother of the Duke of Guangping and he's going to hold a birthday banquet. He's invited Marquis Wu'an, but I don't know if he'll be there."
The birthday banquet of the Duke of Guangping… Lou Xueying recalled that there seemed to have been such a banquet in her previous life. To show off their wealth, they invited many guests, and the Lou family was among them. However, the Lou family and the Duke of Guangping's family had only a so-so relationship, and Madam Lou had always felt that the Duke of Guangping's family had bad taste, so she made an excuse to decline to attend. As for whether Li Pan went or not, Lou Xueying had no idea.
But we have to give it a try.
A note from the author:
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