Chapter 1: Spend the night with me tonight, and I'll let you go...
Lou Xueying woke up.
As dawn broke, a faint white light appeared outside the window screen.
She thought to herself that she must have woken up late today; usually, it was still dark when she opened her eyes. Winter days are short and nights are long, and she was always a light sleeper, her sleep was always intermittent and restless, and she would wake up before dawn every day.
More accurately, it wasn't always her problem; she developed this condition gradually after the late emperor's death.
Last autumn, she was still the late emperor's concubine.
At that time, the late emperor was becoming increasingly ill, and she wanted to go to attend to him, but the empress refused to let her in. However, when other concubines requested an audience, the empress allowed them in.
She knew why the Empress hated her so much, but she had no other choice.
Unable to see the late emperor, she could only return to her palace and send people to inquire about his condition day after day.
One night, she was woken up by her maid in the middle of the night. The maid told her in a panic that all the imperial physicians had just been summoned to the Changqing Palace where the emperor lived, and that His Majesty was probably in bad shape.
She hurriedly dressed and rushed to Changqing Palace. The palace was in a state of chaos, brightly lit. Seeing the other concubines, princes, and princesses arriving one after another, her heart sank to the bottom.
She was once again stopped outside the palace gates.
The Empress's personal maid bowed slightly and said calmly, "There are too many people and it's too noisy. His Majesty is seriously ill and unable to handle it. Please, Your Highness, return home."
With tears welling up in her eyes, she was at a loss for what to do when she turned her head and saw the Crown Prince standing with his hands behind his back at the bottom of the steps.
He has now taken on the heavy responsibility of regent, and is busy with state affairs every day. Only now has he had time to come and see the late emperor one last time.
The palace lanterns swayed, casting his figure in a dim light.
She hesitated for a moment, then stepped down the stairs, bowed to him, lowered her head, and uttered the first words she had spoken to him in the five years since she entered the palace: "Your Highness."
The crown prince's tone was indifferent: "What is it?"
"Your Majesty is aware of your current condition... Could you please grant me permission to enter?" Her voice trembled slightly, her heart filled with trepidation, unsure whether he would agree.
"Can."
He agreed so quickly that she was caught off guard. She looked up in a daze, not yet able to breathe a sigh of relief, when she heard him continue, "Spend the night with me, and I will let you go to see the Emperor."
She felt as if she had fallen into an ice cave, staring at him in disbelief, unable to believe what she had just heard.
Seeing her reaction, the Crown Prince sneered, "If you don't want to, then so be it."
He then stepped up the stairs, leaving her behind without hesitation.
She didn't remember how she got back to her palace that night. She only remembered that she chased all the palace servants outside and sat alone by her bedside until dawn.
After daybreak, she found a piece of white silk, cut it into a long strip, and tied it to the beam of her bedchamber.
Now that things have come to this, she has no way out.
Nineteen tolls of the funeral bell echoed throughout the world, she closed her eyes, and lost consciousness.
But when she woke up again, she didn't see the underworld, but the prince holding her with a cold smile.
She is still in her palace, still alive in this world.
He sat on the ground, next to the footstool she had kicked over, and behind him, rows of trembling palace servants knelt. He stroked her neck, which was covered in red marks, and said lightly, "Your Majesty is really out of her mind."
She trembled violently, trying to break free from him, but he held her even tighter.
He lowered his head, pressed his forehead against hers, and smiled, "Father loves Your Majesty dearly, how could he bear to let Your Majesty be buried with him?"
The palace was completely silent, utterly still.
After that, Lou Xueying was imprisoned in the deepest part of the palace.
He replaced everyone around her and confined her to a small courtyard, forbidding any outsiders from approaching her except for him.
The night was deep and the dew was heavy. He gripped her waist, staring intently at her, his eyes appearing bloodshot in the candlelight.
"You love him that much? Hmm? So much that you'd follow him in death?"
She struggled, crying and begging him not to treat her like this, but he asked her, "Did you ever rebel against your father like you rebelled against me today?"
She choked up, her words broken and incoherent.
"Say it!" He suddenly bit her shoulder, drawing blood.
"He...he saw that I was unwilling, he didn't...he didn't force me." Her tears soaked the pillow, and her body trembled uncontrollably.
Her answer, however, thoroughly enraged the newly enthroned emperor.
"So everything after that was your own choice? You willingly became his concubine, willingly fell in love with him, and willingly died for him?!" He was furious, tearing at her like a wild beast. "Do you even remember who you are? You are my Crown Princess! In the end, he forcibly took his daughter-in-law and became a virtuous gentleman, while I took you back and became someone who forced me?! Lou Xueying, do you have any sense of shame at all?!"
Lou Xueying, do you have any sense of shame at all?
These words, like a nightmare, had haunted her for five long years, and today they finally came out of his mouth.
She has no sense of shame.
If she had, she should have died five years ago on the very night the late emperor conferred upon her the title of Imperial Concubine.
Five years ago, she was the Crown Prince's betrothed. Everyone knew that she and the Crown Prince were in love, and everyone knew that the Empress admired and loved her, a noblewoman from a prominent family. She was the undisputed Crown Princess, only lacking an imperial decree to grant them marriage.
The imperial decree arrived, but it wasn't to bestow a marriage upon her and the Crown Prince. Instead, it summoned her to the palace and bestowed upon her the title of Imperial Concubine.
That night, the Crown Prince broke into the palace, but the Emperor, under the pretext of recuperating from illness, confined him to the Eastern Palace, as did the Empress.
The next day, she was taken to the palace by a carriage and then carried into the palace by a sedan chair.
The emperor was two full cycles older than her.
Her great-grandfather was a prime minister, her grandfather was the Chancellor of the Imperial Academy, her father was the Vice Director of the Secretariat, and she also had a maternal uncle who had been a prince consort. With her background, even if she didn't become the Crown Princess, she could choose any of the noble sons and talented young men in the capital. She never imagined that one day she would marry a man old enough to be her father.
But she couldn't disobey orders, nor could her family.
He has now passed away.
The man who had so easily changed her fate was gone; now his son had taken her place. She hadn't had the courage to die before, but now she had the courage, yet she couldn't bring herself to do it.
All sharp objects in her palace were removed, and palace servants followed her at all times. She had no choice but to live.
With the new emperor enthroned and busy with many affairs, he still managed to find time from time to time to see her and torment her.
She initially resisted and struggled, but when she realized it was useless, she stopped resisting and struggling.
She obediently gave him everything he asked for, until one day, she fell ill, very ill. The female doctor came to take her pulse and said that her illness was caused by emotional distress, compounded by the changing seasons.
The new emperor replaced all the palace servants around her again, saying that they were not serving her well enough. He also sternly warned the new palace servants that if they did not serve her well, they would be sent down to join the previous group.
Later, her condition improved slightly, and she inquired about her family from the female doctor. The doctor took pity on her and told her that everyone outside believed that the Imperial Concubine had died for love with the late Emperor, and her mother could not bear the blow and fell ill.
So she begged the new emperor to let her see her mother, but the emperor looked at her coldly and said, "You're not going anywhere. The Imperial Concubine is dead, Lou Xueying is dead. From now on, you can only be mine."
She never saw the female doctor again.
The female doctor who took over was very concise; she would give her medical advice and leave without lingering.
So she gradually stopped talking. Whenever the new emperor came, she would silently endure it, like a dead fish.
The more silent she remained, the more resentful the new emperor became. The more resentful he became, the more he tormented her, and the more silent she became.
She didn't know why he had become like this; he wasn't like this before.
Perhaps she should have died on the night the imperial edict was issued.
More than a year has passed since the late emperor passed away.
She was chronically ill, and this autumn she fell seriously ill and nearly died. The newly appointed palace servants faithfully followed the doctor's orders, and whenever she woke up in the early morning, they would come to serve her a calming medicine so that she could sleep a little longer.
I don't know why I only woke up now.
Lou Xueying lay quietly on the bed for a while until the sky outside grew whiter and brighter. Finally, she couldn't lie still any longer. She propped herself up on the mattress and slowly sat up.
Hearing the commotion, the palace servants on night watch rushed in with an oil lamp. They were shocked to find that she had gotten up on her own and hurriedly helped her up.
The oil lamp illuminated the dim inner chamber. Lou Xueying leaned against a palace servant, her chest rising and falling slightly. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the water clock placed in the corner and was startled.
It was only early morning. She hadn't woken up late; in fact, she had woken up early.
How could the sky be so bright at the hour of Mao (5-7 AM)?
She was about to ask a question when she choked on a breath of cold air and started coughing violently.
The palace servants hurriedly pulled up a thick quilt and wrapped it around her. Several more palace servants rushed in in a panic, some checking the charcoal fire, some drawing the window screens tightly, and others bringing warm, calming medicine.
But she didn't want to drink or sleep today.
She finally stopped coughing and said slowly, "Help me get dressed."
The palace servants looked at each other, shook their heads, and pleaded with her to drink the calming soup and rest a little longer.
She repeated herself slowly but firmly: "Help me get dressed."
The palace servants knelt down and kowtowed to her.
This was the fifth batch of palace maids she had replaced, and without exception, they were all mute girls from the countryside.
They couldn't speak or write; all they could do was kowtow repeatedly, begging for her understanding.
Lou Xueying watched them quietly.
After a long while, she finally lowered her head and drank the medicine.
The palace servants looked delighted as they watched the medicine bowl slowly empty. They wiped her face and helped her lie down.
Lou Xueying drifted off to sleep again.
When she woke up, it was already incredibly bright outside. This time, the palace servants finally didn't stop her. They gently and meticulously helped her get dressed, wash up, and eat breakfast.
A bowl of ginseng and poria porridge and a bowl of shredded chicken and bird's nest were placed in front of her. She managed to drink half a bowl of porridge and a few spoonfuls of bird's nest, but could not eat any more. However, the amount she needed today was obviously more than in the previous days. The palace servants breathed a sigh of relief, served her some medicine, and then helped her to the dressing table to do her makeup.
She didn't have the energy to style her hair in elaborate ways or wear heavy ornaments. Her so-called "makeup" was simply the palace servants trying to apply a touch of blush and lip rouge to make her look less unwell. That way, the emperor wouldn't be so angry when he came to see her.
But the emperor hadn't visited her for half a month.
Since the serious illness that nearly took her life this autumn, he has been much gentler towards her, only visiting her palace for a short while each day, and has not bothered her again.
But she didn't appreciate it.
After she recovered somewhat, the emperor asked her what she wanted, and she said she wanted the zither that used to be kept in her palace.
The emperor gave it to her, but after receiving the zither, she spent her days playing the pieces composed by the late emperor.
The late emperor was skilled in music and loved playing the zither. His compositions spread beyond the palace, and the common people eagerly performed them. Needless to say, they were even more popular within the palace.
She had never played the zither since the late emperor's death, and her sudden performance now was clearly an attempt to oppose him.
He could no longer tolerate it, had a huge argument with her, slammed the door and left, and never appeared in front of her again.
But the emperor was always capricious with her, and the palace servants, not knowing when he would return, continued to serve her with trepidation.
The palace servants drew back the window curtains, and dazzling white light flooded into the inner chamber, making Lou Xueying's skin appear as pale and thin as paper, with faint blue veins visible beneath.
Lou Xueying subconsciously squinted to avoid it.
Once her eyes had adjusted to the light from outside, she slowly raised her head and realized that the reason it was so bright outside was because it had snowed.
Although the emperor imprisoned her, he did not mistreat her materially. Everything she used was the finest, even the window lattices were made of glass from the Western Regions. Large snowflakes, like goose feathers, were gently pushed by the wind into the long corridor under the eaves, sticking to her glass windows and remaining there for a long time.
She gently pushed away the rouge offered by the palace maid, stood up while holding onto the edge of the table, and then suddenly flicked the window latch and pushed the window open forcefully!
In an instant, a cold wind carrying snowflakes invaded the warm room, and she slumped back into her chair, coughing repeatedly.
The palace servants were terrified. Some closed the windows, some patted their backs, and some fetched their cloaks.
Lou Xueying coughed as she watched a few snowflakes fall onto the dressing table in front of her, melting into tiny water droplets in no time.
She wrapped her cloak tighter around herself and said softly, "I want to go for a walk."
The palace servants naturally stopped her.
Lou Xueying tried to push the person in front of her. The person swayed slightly but quickly stood still. Not only that, a second, a third... countless palace servants appeared in front of her, watching her silently, fearfully, and nervously.
Their bodies blocked the tightly closed vermilion palace door. Lou Xueying stood there for a long while before finally lowering her eyes and saying, "Then let it be."
The palace maids breathed a sigh of relief and dispersed, while the rest continued to do her hair and makeup.
Lou Xueying looked at herself in the mirror.
She had become so thin that she looked like a skeleton; no matter how much makeup she wore, she would only look as ridiculous as a paper doll used in rituals.
After finishing her makeup, Lou Xueying directed the palace servants to move a soft couch to the window. The couch was padded with thick mattresses and the cushions were placed high so that she could lean on it and enjoy the snow scene outside.
Being too close to the window can also cause one to catch a cold. The palace servants didn't really want to do it, but Lou Xueying was unusually stubborn today. They were afraid that if they angered her again, it would hurt her health, so they complied with this small request.
Lou Xueying held a hand warmer in her arms, her nose pressed against the window, the faint mist from her breath covering the small windowpane before quickly dissipating.
She has talked too much today, and her body is struggling to keep up; she is very tired.
She rested for a while, then ordered a palace servant to fetch the zither. That zither had angered the emperor, and the servants fetched it with trepidation, wondering what she intended to do.
Her order was simple—smash the violin.
The palace maid carrying the zither, bewildered, walked out of the palace gate under her gaze, into the snow-covered courtyard, and then, facing her window, raised the zither high and smashed it down forcefully!
The snow was deep, and the zither was stuck in it, completely undamaged.
The palace servants started shoveling snow again, clearing a small patch of ground.
This time, the zither finally crashed to the ground. With a deafening crash, the centuries-old paulownia wood body shattered into pieces in an instant. All seven silk strings snapped, startling the crows perched on the withered branches nearby.
Even the turquoise gemstones inlaid on the instrument's surface were reduced to scattered fragments of light, which splashed into the snowdrifts.
Lou Xueying stared intently for a moment until the palace servant who had smashed the zither looked bewildered. Only then did she finally relax, exhale slowly, lean against the couch, and close her eyes.
The heavy black cloak weighed her down, revealing a pair of solitary, protruding wrist bones. Her fingertips rested on the gilded brazier, their pale blue-white hues resembling a pair of quiet jade artifacts.
Seeing that she needed to rest again, the palace servants covered her with a thin blanket, added some charcoal to the brazier, and finally drew the window screen to block out the dazzling snow light.
Her figure faded into the distance.
After a while, it was time for the female doctor to take her pulse.
The palace servants carefully opened the palace door a crack, and after the female physician squeezed in sideways, they quickly closed it again. The female physician stood by the door, and only after the palace servants used an incense burner to completely warm her body of the chill did she strode in.
She opened her medical kit, knelt before Lou Xueying, and whispered, "This humble subject will take Your Majesty's pulse."
Lou Xueying did not move, but simply slept quietly.
"Your Majesty, this humble servant will take your pulse," the female physician repeated.
Lou Xueying was still asleep, her face pale and her expression serene.
The female doctor felt a chill run down her spine and, without asking, reached out and pulled back the thin blanket and cloak covering her, grabbing her wrist.
In an instant, the female doctor's face turned deathly pale, and she collapsed to the ground.
"Guards! Guards! Her Majesty—she's dead!"
A note from the author:
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Hello everyone, I'm starting my post now!
Three people in this story are reborn... The only one who isn't reborn is the Great General who doesn't appear in this chapter...
Hope you enjoy this story! [Sprinkling flowers]
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