Chapter 76 You are such an audacious person.
The carriage carrying Li Pan and Lou Xueying left Qishan Xingyuan ahead of schedule.
After a night of emotional highs and lows, and barely sleeping a wink, Lou Xueying was exhausted. She took off her shoes, bent her legs, lay down on the carriage seat, rested her head on Li Pan's lap, and quickly drifted off to sleep.
Li Pan leaned against the carriage, looking down at Lou Xueying's peaceful sleeping face, his gaze once again falling on the red marks on her neck.
He cut it himself.
He had killed many people in many ways, but this was the first time he had ever laid a hand on his own family.
She told him not to be afraid, to exert himself boldly, and that she knew what she was doing, and that she would show him if she was in pain.
She wanted him to do it, so he did. But only he knew how his hands trembled as he strangled her.
She said with some difficulty, "Press harder... otherwise the marks won't be visible."
Li Pan gritted his teeth and increased his strength.
He knew, of course, how much force could kill someone and how much force wouldn't, but against her, even the safest force wouldn't have allowed him to act rashly. Heaven knows how he finally mustered so much strength that he actually managed to leave a clear bruise on her neck.
It was at this moment that she began to move frantically, signaling him to stop.
He immediately let go, his body drenched in sweat.
He could never forget her sitting in front of the dressing table, looking at herself in the bronze mirror, and muttering to herself, "Almost there, that's just like it."
Her nonchalant tone was like a knife, slicing his heart into pieces.
He couldn't imagine what she was feeling when she hanged herself.
This was not a dignified way to die. He didn't even dare to think about it. At the prime of her life, at twenty-three, she was young and beautiful, yet she almost died with such an extremely distorted appearance.
She is actually someone who has died twice.
He died twice before finally becoming his wife.
Li Pan couldn't help but wonder, if he had seen her fall into the water at the birthday banquet at the Duke of Guangping's mansion that day but hadn't saved her, would she have died unwillingly once again?
The thought of this possibility sent a chill down his spine.
He gently embraced her.
She actually had many small flaws that he would never have liked before. For example, she was spoiled, weak, indecisive, and prone to tears... But precisely because he knew what kind of person she was, he felt a pang of sorrow when he saw with his own eyes that she could face death so calmly.
Now she is his wife.
This time, he would never let her fall into that situation again.
-
Lou Xueying slept very soundly and was only woken up by Li Pan when the carriage arrived at the Marquis's residence.
Although she had only been gone for a little over two days, looking at the gate of the Marquis's mansion, Lou Xueying felt a sense of melancholy, like a weary bird returning to its nest.
The servants of the Marquis's mansion did not expect them to return so early. After opening the door and exchanging greetings, they noticed the red marks on Lou Xueying's neck.
"Madam, what is this...?" The gatekeeper was taken aback.
Li Pan: "Where is my mother?"
"The old lady just finished lunch; I wonder if she has rested yet."
Li Pan said, "I'll go check on her." Then he said to Lou Xueying, "You go back first."
Lou Xueying nodded and left first.
Li Pan walked into his mother's courtyard and saw Cuicui carrying a tea tray as she came out of the house.
Cui Cui was pleasantly surprised: "My lord? Has the autumn hunt ended so early? I thought you and your wife wouldn't be back until the afternoon." She then looked behind Li Pan and exclaimed, "Where's your wife?"
Li Pan: "Is my mother asleep?"
"She just lay down, but she's definitely not asleep yet. The old lady will be delighted to see the Marquis."
Li Pan then pushed open the door and went inside.
Li's mother had already heard the commotion outside. She sat up in bed and asked happily, "You're back? Did you have fun hunting?" Seeing Li Pan's serious expression, she was taken aback. "What's wrong?"
Li Pan sat down beside her bed and said in a deep voice, "Mother, I have something to tell you."
He did not tell Li's mother about Lou Xueying's rebirth, but only told her about how the Crown Prince had secretly humiliated Lou Xueying while he was discussing matters with the Emperor. He also said that he caught the Crown Prince red-handed when he returned and couldn't help but beat him up.
Li's mother's face turned pale and then red. When she heard that Lou Xueying had hanged herself this morning, she almost fainted from breathlessness.
Fortunately, Li Pan was prepared and immediately slapped her on the back, which brought Li's mother back to her senses.
"That's how it is," Li Pan said. "Fortunately, His Majesty did not show favoritism. He punished the Crown Prince by confining him to the Imperial Garden, but also agreed to let me take you and Susu back to the Northwest."
Li's mother was so anxious that she threw off the covers and was about to get out of bed: "Where is Susu now? I have to go check on her!"
Li Pan held her down: "She's staying in our room peacefully. I've already persuaded her, and she won't try to kill herself anymore."
"I have to go see her! How can I ignore something this serious has happened?"
Li Pan: "She was traumatized and only just calmed down. Don't make her recall it again. The reason I came alone is to tell you beforehand not to keep bringing this up, as if we care too much. Su Su committed suicide because she felt she had been taken advantage of by the Crown Prince, that she had lost her innocence, and that she had let me down. Only by treating her normally, as before, can we let her know that we don't need to take this so seriously."
Li's mother said worriedly, "But I'm not blaming her! I'm just concerned about her!"
“I know, I know,” Li Pan said. “But if you are overly concerned, it’s like reminding her that this is a huge blow to a woman. If she had fallen and bumped herself, would you be so anxious to help? Since you wouldn’t be so anxious about those things, it’s the same with this one. It is indeed hurtful, but as long as she gets over it herself, this hurt will be like those minor falls and bumps, and it won’t affect her for long.”
Li's mother frowned and slapped her thigh hard.
Li Pan: "But then again, some things are wrong, and that's that. Take a woman's chastity, for example. Some people value it, and some don't. The latter may have an easier life than the former, and even if they are hurt, it won't have a big impact. But that doesn't mean that we can do something wrong just because the victim isn't miserable enough. I may not value Su Su's chastity, and she may not value it either, but others cannot offend her because of that, thinking that she can be bullied at will. So I will definitely remember this grudge against the Crown Prince."
Mother Li looked at him in horror: "What do you want to do? The Crown Prince is certainly wrong, but you have already hit him, and His Majesty has not held you accountable. He has even placed the Crown Prince under house arrest. What else do you want?"
Li Pan: "It's nothing, I'm just remembering it." He lowered his voice and said to his mother, "The emperor and the crown prince are at odds and the emperor is considering deposing the crown prince. If the father and son fight, I will never help the crown prince—of course, I will not help the emperor either. We are in the northwest, far away from the capital, this place of trouble."
...
After finishing his conversation with his mother, Li Pan returned to his and Lou Xueying's small courtyard.
Cailing stood in the courtyard with red eyes, clearly having learned of the Crown Prince's actions from Lou Xueying.
“My lord…” She looked at Li Pan, wiped away her tears, and said, “Isn’t everyone saying that the Crown Prince is an upright gentleman? How could he do such a thing to the Madam?”
Li Pan: "You can know a person's face but not their heart; this is exactly the case. After today, everyone will see his true colors."
Cailing continued, "My lord, my wife... my wife has already suffered a great injustice. Please, my lord, do not blame her for this..."
“How could I blame her? I cherish her too much.” Li Pan said softly. “Alright, if you have nothing else to do, go and tell the Lou family about this. I will take you back to the Northwest soon and have the Lou family come to say goodbye to her. Also, I want to emphasize that you should not come over in a fright; Susu cannot handle any excitement.”
So in the afternoon, the entire Lou family, in a large group, all arrived at the Marquis's residence.
Lou Shu and Lou Zhongyan returned from the government office, and even Lou Boyu, who was in Yutian County, received the urgent report and rushed back to the city from the county office.
Everyone stared at her in silence.
Lou Xueying said softly, "Sit down."
Pengpeng was also brought over. She looked left and right, sensing that the atmosphere was a bit off, but she couldn't help but ask curiously, "Sister, why are you wearing a scarf now? Aren't you hot?"
Lou Xueying touched the thin fleece scarf around her neck and smiled, "Sister is prone to feeling cold, it's a bit chilly."
Pengpeng: "Mother said you're going to the Northwest with the Marquis soon, is that true?"
"It's true," Lou Xueying said softly. "I might not see Pengpeng for a long time. If Pengpeng has anything to say, please tell your older sister as soon as possible."
Pengpeng frowned: "Why go to the Northwest? Isn't the capital city good enough?"
“Because the Marquis is going back to the Northwest to fight, and since you married him, you will naturally go with him.” Lou Xueying smiled. “But don’t worry, Pengpeng, I will write back often. If there are any fun things in the Northwest, I will send them to you as well.”
Pengpeng: "But I don't want fun things, I just want to see my sister more often..."
"Alright," Madam Lou interrupted them. "Pengpeng, there are some adult matters we need to discuss with your sister, so you don't need to listen. Cailing, take Pengpeng out to play for a while."
Pengpeng twisted her body, extremely unwilling, but Cailing still led her out.
After Pengpeng left, the room fell silent again.
Finally, Lou Zhongyan slammed his fist on the table and said, "Take off your scarf and let us see it."
Lou Xueying silently took off her scarf, revealing clear red marks.
Lou Zhongyan's eyes widened: "That serious? You, you... if it weren't for the Marquis saving you in time, were you really planning to die like this?!"
Lou Xueying's eyes immediately reddened.
Lou Boyu glanced at Lou Zhongyan, signaling him to shut up, and then said gently, "Susu, it's not your fault, don't take it out on yourself. The Marquis was furious for your sake, which shows how much he values you. You chose such a good husband for yourself back then, you have good taste. Now that the capital is in turmoil, it's a good thing for you and the Marquis to go to the Northwest."
Madam Lou lowered her head, unable to hold back her tears: "Susu, my poor child... how could this happen? How could the Crown Prince be such a person..."
Lou Xueying also cried, "I never expected him to be this kind of person... He wasn't drunk at all; he was perfectly clear-headed. He just took advantage of the fact that no one was around and I was too afraid to make a sound, so he humiliated me like that..."
Lou Shu frowned and sighed heavily.
Lou Xueying choked up again, saying, "To tell you the truth, Father, Mother, Brother, the reason I committed suicide wasn't just because of what happened last night... There's no evidence, so I can't tell anyone else, but I feel I must let you know..."
She recounted how Li Pan had been poisoned with aphrodisiac incense at the banquet that night and was almost framed, which shocked everyone present.
"You mean, the Crown Prince may have harbored feelings for you all along, and went so far as to deliberately set a trap to break you two up?" Lou Zhongyan was shocked. "He...he's so vicious?!"
“Originally, we didn’t know who wanted to harm the Marquis, but after what the Crown Prince did yesterday, we thought that he must have been the one who did what happened before, otherwise who would have such a motive…” Lou Xueying cried bitterly, “I don’t know how I offended the Crown Prince. After thinking it over, the only thing that can happen is that when the Crown Prince and A-Yue were on their blind date and were visiting the common people in disguise, I happened to run into them. Maybe I did something wrong that made the Crown Prince have such thoughts… It’s all my fault. I’m sorry to the Marquis. I almost ruined his reputation and let so many people see me in such disheveled state, bringing shame to the Marquis’s mansion and the Lou family… I don’t know how to atone for my sins. The only way is to die…”
"Die? What crime are you atoning for?" Lou Zhongyan roared. "The Crown Prince has taken a fancy to a married woman. He's wasted his time studying the classics. Why hasn't he been punished yet, but you're the one who's going to die first?"
"Be careful what you say." Lou Boyu frowned at him. "Even though this is the Marquis's residence, you should still be careful in your actions."
Lou Zhongyan gritted his teeth in anger and looked at Lou Shu: "Father!"
Lou Shu closed his eyes briefly and said in a deep voice, "I know about this matter. The feud between the Marquis's Mansion and the Crown Prince has been established. Susu, even after you and the Marquis go to the Northwest, you must still be cautious. Do not think that just because the emperor is far away, you can rest easy."
Lou Xueying: "And what about you? This matter started because of me. I'm afraid that after the Crown Prince's confinement ends, he will cause trouble for the Lou family..."
Lou Shu: "You don't need to worry about that. Your brother and I will handle things at home. Just live a good life in the Northwest."
Lou Xueying bit her lip and said, "Father, the conflict between His Majesty and the Crown Prince is about to erupt. You must not become His Majesty's pawns just because you have opinions about the Crown Prince... The capital is fraught with danger. If possible, make plans to withdraw as soon as possible."
Lou Shu's gaze suddenly sharpened, and he narrowed his eyes as he looked at Lou Xueying: "Did the Marquis tell you to say this to me?"
“Let’s just say that,” Lou Xueying said softly. “Father knows more about court affairs than I do, and he’s much more shrewd than the Marquis. He must know what’s going on, so let’s not cause him any trouble.”
-
At night, Li Pan and Lou Xueying lay side by side on the bed, breathing silently.
After a long pause, Lou Xueying spoke up: "Why isn't the Marquis asleep yet?"
Li Pan: "I'm thinking about what else I haven't packed yet."
He did not participate when Lou Xueying met with the Lou family. Instead, he was with Li's mother and Steward Lü, checking the luggage to be brought back to the Northwest from the Marquis's mansion.
"How's the packing going?"
"It should be all packed by tomorrow," Li Pan said. "If there's anything you want to bring, have Cai Ling pack it up as soon as possible."
Lou Xueying let out a soft breath: "What I really want to bring are people."
This afternoon, after the Lou family left, Yao Biyue also came over near dusk.
By then, the other officials who had been hunting in the autumn had returned to the city one after another, and the news of the Crown Prince and the Lady of Wu'an Marquis spread like wildfire. When Yao Biyue heard about it, she rushed to find her in a panic.
Upon seeing the red marks on her neck, Yao Biyue burst into tears, saying that she was entirely sorry. If she hadn't agreed to travel incognito with the Crown Prince, she wouldn't have met Lou Xueying, which would have tempted the Crown Prince. Lou Xueying had to comfort her for a long time before she finally stopped blaming herself.
“The capital is too dangerous. I don’t want them to stay here any longer, but I can’t take them with me.” Lou Xueying said with a sigh, “Our Lou family has been rooted in the capital for nearly a hundred years. My father and brothers are all officials in the court. How can we just leave like that? And A-Yue’s family is the same. I can’t do anything but remind them to be careful.”
Li Pan: "You have to eat one bite at a time, and do things one step at a time. Don't rush. We've already acted fast enough."
Lou Xueying turned her head and met his gaze in the darkness, where his eyes were faintly bright.
She reached out and hugged him, asking softly, "Have you figured out how to fight the battle at the end of the year?"
Li Pan: "Actually, I have a secret that no one knows except for some of my trusted subordinates. Now I will tell you."
Lou Xueying: "What?"
Li Pan whispered in her ear, "King Hasule of Wusun is one of my men."
Lou Xueying was stunned for a moment, then sat up abruptly.
Li Pan also sat up and pressed down on her shoulder.
Lou Xueying was horrified and stammered, "You, you, you...you're a traitor?!"
“What do you mean by colluding with the enemy?” Li Pan pressed her lips hard. “This is called friendly relations, it’s just that it wasn’t reported to the emperor.”
Lou Xueying stared at him in horror.
Li Pan slowly recounted the story of how he helped Hasule rise to power. Finally, he said, "Do you remember when we first got married, your father wanted to arrange a position in the capital for me so I could stay there permanently? Then you got anxious and said you were willing to come back to the Northwest with me?"
Lou Xueying nodded.
He smiled slightly and recalled, "Back then, you wanted to persuade me to return to the Northwest. You even asked me if I had any spies planted in the enemy's territory. If you discovered any unusual activity on their end, I would have a reason to go back." As he said this, he couldn't help but scratch her chin. "Do you know how startled I was? I almost thought you knew something and were testing me."
Lou Xueying: "..."
“Now I understand. You know that the enemy will make some unusual moves at the end of the year, while I know that I do have a spy.” Li Pan laughed. “Perhaps it can’t be called a spy. What kind of king of Wusun would personally act as a spy? This is mutually beneficial for us.”
Lou Xueying clutched her chest: "How dare you not report such a big thing?"
Li Pan: "Logically speaking, I should have first submitted a memorial to the emperor, persuading him to support the seventeenth prince, Hasule, to ascend the throne. However, time was too tight at the time. This back and forth would have required the officials in the court to discuss it thoroughly, which would have taken more than a month. How could I have so much time to wait for them? But if I acted first and then reported later, the emperor would find that the Wusun king's ascension to the throne was not due to the favor of Dayue, but to the favor of me, Li Pan. Do you think he could tolerate that? It would be better not to submit the memorial at all."
Lou Xueying: "...Aren't you afraid of being discovered?"
Li Pan: "How did they find out? My contact with Hasule is always through my trusted confidants. Unless Hasule actively reports me to the emperor, but what good would that do him? I, Li Pan, don't take a single penny of tribute from him. I only ask him to manage his own territory and keep an eye on the surrounding tribes. If he were to surrender to the Emperor of Dayue, he would have to pay tribute to the emperor every year, and he wouldn't do that." He paused, then laughed, "You see, you never heard of me, Li Pan, colluding with the enemy in your past life, did you? That means no one really found out."
Lou Xueying whispered, "It's fortunate that you didn't have any other thoughts and just stayed quietly guarding the northwest border. Otherwise, someone as audacious as you could easily become a traitor if you had any ambition..."
She suddenly fell silent.
The air suddenly fell silent. Li Pan gradually suppressed his smile and silently looked at her.
Lou Xueying slowly gripped the brocade quilt tighter.
Li Pan: "Rustling..."
"Sleep, go to sleep," Lou Xueying interrupted him. "Let's go to sleep."
Li Pan: "...Okay."
The two lay down again, and after a moment, Lou Xueying suddenly leaned over and hugged him.
“Li Pan…” she said, “I’m scared.”
Li Pan hugged her and kissed her forehead: "Don't be afraid, I will definitely protect you."
I'm afraid of you!
"Don't be afraid. Since I'm going to protect you, I definitely have to live well myself." He said as if joking, "I know you can't live without me. So I'll definitely be fine."
Within that small space, he gently touched her forehead, intertwined his fingers with hers, and pressed his palms together.
"Go to sleep," he said.
-----------------------
Author's Note: Single-update schedule resumes... I was a bit busy during the National Day holiday, and my drafts are running low... I'll try to save up some more. The regular update time is 9 AM, but there might be occasional extra updates. Extra updates will be at 6 PM, and if there isn't one, then there isn't an extra update.
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