Chapter 59 You just said you liked me. ...
At night, Lou Xueying sat on the bed, touching the light red scar on Li Pan's palm, looking at it again and again.
"Does it still hurt?" Lou Xueying asked him.
"What's the big deal..." Li Pan answered subconsciously, then suddenly his eyes lit up and he changed his words, "Ouch, hiss hiss hiss, you know what, it really hurts. Your hairpin is really sharp, much sharper than I thought. Aren't you afraid of poking yourself with it all the time?"
Lou Xueying: "..."
She could tell that Li Pan was deliberately feigning helplessness, but she still cooperated by gently rubbing his palm, blowing on the wound a few times, and asking, "And now?"
"It still hurts, ouch, it's getting more and more painful," Li Pan cried out. "Why don't you give me a couple of kisses? Maybe a couple of kisses will make it stop hurting."
Lou Xueying then pressed her face against his palm, her soft lips touching the scar.
Li Pan's hands were large, and they covered her face, almost obscuring half of it.
She raised her eyelashes, her eyes sparkling like water in the candlelight. Just as Li Pan was in a daze, she suddenly opened her mouth and bit his tiger's mouth.
This time it really hurt. Li Pan's eye twitched, but his mouth grinned as he pinched her cheeks, forcing her to let go: "What are you doing? Didn't you eat enough for dinner? Do you want to eat someone?"
Lou Xueying's cheeks were being pinched by him, making it difficult for her to speak. She could only whimper and say, "Who wants to eat you? Your flesh is definitely too old and tough..."
"Who said that?" Li Pan immediately took off his clothes, flicked his arm and chest with his finger, and said with dissatisfaction, "See? It's very chewy! It must taste great!"
Lou Xueying couldn't help but laugh when she saw the tan lines on his clothes from all the summer's activities.
This time, Li Pan was finally able to say what he hadn't been able to say before.
"You think I'm ugly? It's no use thinking I'm ugly. You were the one who wanted to marry me. It's too late to complain now."
"I don't mind." Lou Xueying hugged him, her voice soft and gentle, "...I like you, Lord Marquis."
"What?" Li Pan genuinely didn't hear clearly. "Say it again?"
Lou Xueying's eyelashes trembled, and her voice rose a little: "I like you, Lord Marquis."
Li Pan was taken aback for a moment, then asked suspiciously, "Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden? What trouble have you gotten me into this time?"
Lou Xueying: "..."
She let go of Li Pan, angrily rolled up the blanket, and went to sleep on the side.
Li Pan leaned closer, rested his chin on her shoulder, and looked at her earnestly: "You really like it?"
Lou Xueying: "I don't like it."
Li Pan: "No, you just said you liked me."
Lou Xueying: "You misheard."
Li Pan: "Okay, Susu, say it again, please, I'm begging you, I love to hear it."
Lou Xueying turned her face and saw his bright eyes. Her heart skipped a beat, and she said, "I... like you, Lord Marquis."
Li Pan smiled, cupped her face, and kissed her.
The kiss seemed exceptionally long, like a spring breeze spreading across the plains, a wildfire raging. Before they knew it, the two of them had rolled halfway around in each other's arms. Li Pan pressed down on her waist, and she knelt on top of him, her jet-black hair cascading down and intertwining with his long hair.
Li Pan stroked the back of her head, enjoying watching her neck tilt slightly back because of the tickling sensation; the jade-like contours seemed to glow under his gaze.
"Shushu," he said in a low voice, "Why do you like me?"
Lou Xueying took a soft breath and answered somewhat dazedly, "Because... the Marquis is good to me."
"I merely made a vow, and that makes me good to you?" Li Pan said. "Such costless, sweet talk can actually move you?"
“No…” Lou Xueying shook her head, “I wouldn’t believe it if someone else said it, but if it’s the Marquis… I would believe it.”
Li Pan couldn't help but ask, "What if I break my oath one day?"
Lou Xueying stared at him blankly.
Li Pan coughed lightly: "If, if."
Lou Xueying said softly, "Then I will die a horrible death."
Li Pan frowned immediately: "If I break my oath, I will be the one who suffers a terrible death. What does it have to do with you?"
Lou Xueying smiled.
Li Pan's heart skipped a beat, and he asked, "What are you laughing at?"
Lou Xueying: "When the day comes that the Marquis believes in ghosts and gods, he will know what I am laughing at."
Li Pan was the first man she chose after her rebirth, and also the last man she would choose from now on.
At first, she had no other thoughts about Li Pan; she just wanted to find someone to rely on. But she wasn't heartless after all. Even though she had fallen for men twice, she still fell in love with Li Pan again, involuntarily, cautiously, tentatively, and again and again.
Li Pan was unlike any man she had ever met before. She felt a certain fondness for this feeling, yet she dared not let herself become immersed in it.
If one day Li Pan really does betray her...
That only proves one thing: Lou Xueying has terrible taste in men, and she deserves to suffer for it.
Having been betrayed by Li Pan, where could she go? If she refused to return to Emperor Jinghui's embrace, then death was the only option for her.
Even if you go crazy and risk everything, you'll only drag more people down with you, and in the end, you'll still be heading towards certain death.
She might as well die sooner and be reborn sooner. Maybe God will open his eyes again and give her another chance to be reborn. If she lives to her third life, she will swear a solemn oath that she will never touch any man again.
"Do you believe in ghosts and spirits?" Li Pan asked her. "I don't recall your family believing in these things."
Lou Xueying: "Yes... it's just me."
Li Pan: "Why? Was there some kind of opportunity?"
Lou Xueying was a little tired, so she leaned on Li Pan and whispered, "I had an accident once before, and I felt like I was going to die, but somehow I came back to life. Since then, I have believed that there are ghosts and gods in this world."
Li Pan: "Was it the doctor who cured you?"
“There’s no doctor.” Lou Xueying interrupted him. “Why doesn’t Your Excellency believe in ghosts and spirits? Doesn’t Your Excellency burn paper money for the dead?”
“In my opinion, it’s a kind of memorial, a way to express my feelings. I don’t think those people will really become ghosts to come and see me, and I don’t think the paper money I buy in the human world will still be usable in the underworld,” Li Pan said. “But I don’t mind if others believe it. Just like sometimes before a battle, if I have some free time, I will burn incense for the gods and the land. Even if it’s useless, it doesn’t do any harm. It’s good if it can give the soldiers confidence and comfort.”
Lou Xueying: "Has the Marquis ever been on the verge of death?"
“Yes, here, here, and here, from the same injury.” Li Pan’s tone was calm as he took her hand and touched several scars on his body. His voice gradually slowed down, as if he were recalling, “That time we were ambushed by the enemy. Of the three thousand elite soldiers, only a dozen or so remained. They fought desperately to cover my escape, but we were still discovered by a pursuing team on the way and were all wiped out. I held on until the very end, with two or three broken swords and several arrows stuck in my body. I killed the last of the pursuers before I collapsed.”
Lou Xueying trembled as she asked, "...And then?"
“Then I passed out and woke up in the middle of the night. I don’t know why I didn’t die. There were many corpses around me…” He paused for a moment before continuing, “I was so hungry that I drank some blood from those corpses… Those Quanrong people had the habit of wearing animal bone ornaments, so I cut off a few pieces and put them in my mouth to slowly savor them… Actually, they didn’t taste like anything and I couldn’t chew them, but having something in my mouth made me feel much better.”
Lou Xueying stared at him in shock.
She knew that fighting on the front lines was tough and brutal, but drinking human blood and gnawing on animal bones was still beyond her comprehension.
Li Pan observed her expression and asked, "Do you think I'm a barbarian who eats raw meat and drinks blood?"
Lou Xueying shook her head abruptly and asked urgently, "And then what?"
"And then there's not much to say," Li Pan said casually. "Later, I mustered up some strength and managed to walk a short distance. I encountered rescue troops who came to search for me and took me back. The military doctor treated me in time and saved my life."
Lou Xueying remained speechless for a long time.
She had forgotten her initial purpose in bringing up the topic; at this moment, all she felt was boundless fear and lingering dread.
"Don't worry, that was a long time ago." Li Pan patted her gently. "The fiercest Quanrong have already submitted, and the other tribes aren't that hard to fight. Besides, you're in the rear, so it's not your turn to fight anyway."
Lou Xueying's eyes reddened again.
Li Pan placed one hand behind his head and the other on her back, gazing at the tent ceiling, and said slowly, "It was certainly a miracle that I survived that time, but I don't believe it was due to divine intervention. It was simply because, firstly, the enemy was also exhausted, so they couldn't kill me in one blow; secondly, I'm in good health, and I didn't freeze to death in the wilderness in the middle of the night, I was only woken up by the cold; thirdly, the reinforcements found me, and the army doctor healed me. If anyone should be thanked, it should be them, not the gods."
Lou Xueying hugged him tightly, her voice trembling as she said, "My Lord..."
Li Pan looked at her, then suddenly smiled and said, "How about it? Aren't you even more moved now that I've gone through so many hardships to finally stand before you?"
Lou Xueying: "..."
She clenched her fist, intending to punch him, but when she saw the crisscrossing scars on his body, some deep and some shallow, she suddenly stopped moving and could only withdraw her hand, saying in a muffled voice, "You must live well."
Li Pan suppressed his playful expression and let out a long breath: "Actually, I don't like fighting either. It's tough and tiring, and I don't have a hobby of killing. Why fight for no reason? But if foreign enemies invade, or if His Majesty wants to fight, then I have no choice but to fight."
Lou Xueying knew that another battle would begin at the end of the year. She had long known that Li Pan would win, so she wasn't too worried. But today, after hearing Li Pan talk about his past, she suddenly realized that victory was just the result, but she had no idea what was paid for it.
She didn't know the specific number of times Li Pan had led his troops, what injuries he had sustained, how many men he had lost, or how much military resources he had spent. All she saw was the result of victory, so she ignored everything else.
She suddenly didn't want him to go to war anymore.
"Is there any way to avoid war?" she asked him urgently. "Prevention, or alliances, anything to avoid war..."
Li Pan smiled and said, "You make it sound so easy."
Lou Xueying lowered her eyes.
Li Pan: "Don't worry too much, it's not necessarily going to break out. Once we get to the Northwest, we might be able to have a comfortable New Year."
Lou Xueying swallowed hard.
She couldn't hold back any longer. She really wanted to tell Li Pan that there really was an invasion by alien race at the end of the year, so that he could prepare in advance. If war was inevitable, knowing some information in advance could reduce many casualties.
But what could she say? She couldn't even quite remember whether the battle at the end of the year was fought against the Di-Qiang or the Xun-Jie, nor could she recall the exact date it started. She deeply regretted not paying attention to these things in her past life, indulging only in her own melancholy. Now, it seemed incredibly petty of her.
Li Pan didn't believe in ghosts or gods, so even if she said she had a precognitive dream, he probably wouldn't take it to heart. He might even tease her, saying that she was worrying too much about him.
Lou Xueying became more and more anxious, so much so that she didn't even notice that she was about to bite her lip until it bled.
Li Pan held up a finger, pried open her teeth, and laughed, "What's wrong? You're already worrying about things so quickly? So sir, you're really concerned about the country and its people!"
Lou Xueying: "..."
See? She knew he would do that.
Li Pan repeatedly rubbed her lips until the teeth marks on them disappeared. Only when he saw her lips regain their fullness did he stop.
He lifted Lou Xueying's chin, leaned in and kissed her again, saying, "Don't think about it anymore. Instead of thinking so far ahead, let's think about something closer—do you want to go hunting in the autumn?"
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