Chapter 42 The more you dare not think about it, the more you will think about it. ...
Enemies?
Lou Boyu frowned and asked, "What makes you say that, Lord Marquis?"
"Please answer me first, brother-in-law, whether it is or is not."
“How could Susu, a mere woman, have any enemies?” Lou Boyu said. “If Your Excellency insists on asking about enemies, then I can only say that the Lou family may have one or two enemies, but to be honest, I don’t think they can be considered enemies. At most, it’s just a disagreement over political views, some minor squabbles, which is perfectly normal. But these are matters between my father’s side or even the older generation, and in no way should they be attributed to Susu.”
Li Pan: "Does Susu have any dealings with these families?"
“Never,” Lou Boyu said. “When Susu goes out, she is always accompanied by someone. Her family knows about her social circle. Although she knows many people, Susu doesn’t like crowds. At most, those acquaintances are just casual friends. The only one she is close to is the daughter of Yao Shaoqing of the Ministry of Agriculture.”
Li Pan pressed further, "Has Su Su ever been bullied before? It doesn't have to be recently, even when she was little."
"Who would bully her? Who would dare to bully her?" Lou Boyu's brows furrowed even more deeply.
Li Pan: "Has Su Su always lived at home? Has she ever left her family to live alone in other places, such as at a relative's house or a friend's house?"
“No, Susu never stays out overnight, nor has she ever left her family,” Lou Boyu said in a deep voice. “My lord, has something happened to Susu? Why are you suddenly asking these questions?”
Li Pan wiped his face and let out a deep breath.
He said, half-jokingly, "Brother-in-law, don't worry, Susu is fine. I only asked these questions because I saw Susu crying in her dream once, so I was just wondering. I didn't ask her directly because I was afraid she had something on her mind and was deliberately hiding it from me."
"Crying in her sleep?" Lou Boyu asked in confusion. "I've never heard her say that, nor have I heard Cailing mention it. From childhood to adulthood, apart from the hard work of practicing the zither, she probably hasn't suffered any grievances."
Li Pan: "Then I was just overthinking it. Maybe it was just a nightmare. It's not a big deal. It's just that I'm going on this expedition and I don't know when I'll be back. I'm afraid she already has something on her mind, and with me not being home for so long, she's feeling even more depressed."
Upon hearing this, Lou Boyu couldn't help but sigh.
Unlike Li Pan, he wouldn't openly express his dissatisfaction.
"I hope you can help me with what happened these past two days, brother-in-law. Please don't tell anyone, not even my father-in-law or Susu," Li Pan said. "I feel really bad for bothering you so much, brother-in-law. If there's a chance another day, I'll definitely treat you to a drink."
"There's no need for drinking," Lou Boyu said. "I only hope that what you're doing, Lord Marquis, is of utmost importance and that innocent people won't be implicated."
Li Pan: "Brother-in-law, don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
Lou Boyu looked at him for a long time, then said with mixed feelings, "The Marquis trusts me."
Li Pan laughed and said, "Since we are now related by marriage, we should help each other. My brother-in-law would never betray his own brother-in-law. Besides, I think he trusts me quite a bit. He'll help with something this big without hesitation."
Lou Boyu: "..."
Li Pan: "Brother-in-law, you still have official business to attend to this afternoon, right? If you stay away from the county office for too long, it might arouse suspicion."
Lou Boyu thought about it and agreed. He coughed lightly and said, "Then I'll be going now. Please make yourself at home, Lord Marquis."
"Take care, brother-in-law."
Lou Boyu left, but Li Pan didn't rush to call Wu Zhao and the others back.
He sat alone in the room, his smile fading, his gaze heavy.
The reason he lingered in the capital yesterday was to see Lou Xueying one last time.
She had seemed so heartbroken before, far beyond what a wife should look for in a husband. He had seen couples parting before war before, and even if they cried, it was out of worry and reluctance. He had never seen anyone cry with such despair as she did, as if he were about to be sent to his death at any moment.
Moreover, the real crying usually happens when they are about to part, when emotions surge up and they start to cry. She did the opposite of others. She cried uncontrollably when she first received the news, but when he was really gone, she stopped crying and acted as if he was truly dead and she was a widow with a heart ashen.
Li Pan believed that her crying was real, and that she didn't want him to leave, but he also believed that she was definitely hiding something from him.
He simply couldn't accept leaving the capital without knowing why, and he couldn't understand why she was so afraid of the capital where she had grown up.
To avoid attracting attention, he did not approach the Marquis's residence during the day. It was only when the night was deep and quiet that he slipped away from the guards he had personally set up and quietly returned to the residence.
He planned to wake Lou Xueying up and have a frank talk with her face to face. He would tell her that the reason he hadn't conspired with her beforehand was to make the act more realistic, to make people believe that Marquis Wu'an would be away from the capital for a long time before he would have a chance to come back to see her.
And when she finds out he's returned, knowing he won't really abandon her, she'll surely be happy, right? If she's happy, she'll definitely be willing to tell him what's on her mind, right?
Unexpectedly, she was shivering as if she were having a nightmare again, and she wasn't even covered by a blanket, looking like she was about to catch a cold.
He picked her up, only to find that she was burning with fever.
She was completely delirious with fever. When she woke up, she didn't recognize his voice and was so frightened that she kept backing away. At first, he felt a little guilty, thinking that he had indeed been reckless. How could he have sat down next to a woman whose husband was not home without saying a word? It would have scared her to death.
Before he could finish feeling guilty, he heard her sobbing, begging him to let her go and to give her a quick death.
Li Pan's heart suddenly turned cold.
She didn't mistake him for a lecherous womanizer, but rather for a real person.
who?
Who would appear by her bedside in the middle of the night like him?
In an instant, a string of nonsense uttered by men in the military flashed through his mind.
...Is he an adulterer?
no.
She was so afraid of that man, so humbly begging him; she must have suffered long-term humiliation at his hands, somewhere he didn't know.
She said he hated her, but how could a young lady from a respectable family attract the hatred of a grown man?
Li Pan couldn't help but recall his conversation with Lü Gui the night before.
He discovered that Lou Xueying was sick, and after pulling Cailing out of bed, he went to Lü Gui's room and pulled Lü Gui out of bed as well.
This wasn't the first time Lü Gui had seen him act so boldly, and he remained relatively calm. However, when he saw Li Pan sitting in front of him with a murderous look on his face, he lost his composure.
He asked Lü Gui what had happened at the Marquis's residence after he left that day. Lü Gui said nothing major had happened, except that the lady had been summoned to the palace by the Empress and did not return until evening.
Li Pan retorted aggressively, "What are you talking about that takes so long?"
Lu Gui said nervously, "It is said that the Empress said some comforting words because she was afraid that the Lady might have some resentment in her heart."
Li Pan then asked, "Has anything unusual happened to Madam since she returned?"
Lu Gui thought for a moment and shook his head: "It seems not. Madam ate more than yesterday and finished all the freshly made clove-flavored sashimi."
Sensing that Li Pan was in a very bad mood, Lü Gui cautiously asked, "My lord, shall we investigate what the lady did in the palace today?"
"How do we investigate? Do we have an informant in the palace?"
"……No."
Li Pan sneered, "Investigate, you must investigate." He clenched his fist, "If you can't investigate the palace, investigate something else. Go and investigate who Madam has been in contact with since childhood, especially men."
He paused for a moment, then stared coldly at Lü Gui: "Don't overthink it. When I'm not here, the household will still be under the Madam's control."
Lü Gui quickly agreed.
Last night's events were urgent, and many things weren't thought through clearly. But now, as Li Pan reflects on it again, he feels increasingly uneasy.
Lou Xueying last night was completely different from the Lou Xueying we usually see. Which one is the real her?
If she had truly been humiliated and harbored such a deep-seated trauma from that humiliation, how could she appear so carefree on ordinary days?
In her dazed state, she still managed to convince herself to believe in her.
Li Pan didn't know what he should believe in her. He only knew that she was terrified that he wouldn't believe her.
If there really was someone who could freely enter and leave her boudoir at night, tormenting her with nightmares, why was the Lou family completely unaware of it? Most importantly, she hadn't even told her family.
Why? Since she was humiliated, why didn't she dare to speak out? Her family's affection for her didn't seem fake. Even if they couldn't make a big show of it for the sake of their reputation, it wouldn't be difficult for the Lou family to take revenge in secret. Why didn't she speak out?
More and more questions, like a dark cloud, loomed over Li Pan's mind.
Half a day had passed, but Li Pan still felt a surge of anger rising in his heart when he thought of how she had trembled in front of him last night.
His wife, the young lady of the Lou family, was well-educated, gentle, and intelligent. She should have been living a life of luxury and happiness. Who drove her to such a state? She was like a frightened bird, easily frightened by the slightest disturbance.
What exactly is that person's identity?
Li Pan recalled Lou Xueying's strange behavior from the previous times and suddenly his expression froze.
He suddenly remembered someone.
Almost as soon as he thought of this person, he was shocked and ordered himself in his mind not to think about it anymore!
But the more you try to avoid thinking about these things, the more you'll find yourself thinking about them.
A person capable of sneaking into the Lou family mansion, a person capable of making her afraid to expose him, a person capable of... making her cry.
He had seen her cry several times.
On their wedding night, she suddenly started crying for no apparent reason, saying that she had a nightmare in which someone wanted to break them up, which kept her from sleeping well for many days.
On the second day of their marriage, he was joking with her when he inadvertently angered her, and she told him not to use those hurtful words to humiliate her anymore.
On the eve of her entry into the palace, she had a nightmare, muttering incessantly and her face covered in tears.
Furthermore, before he left the capital, she cried more bitterly than ever before, saying that she would live in fear and anxiety in the capital after he left.
Looking back now, she wasn't lying.
She was indeed terrified, but it wasn't him who caused her fear; it was someone else entirely.
—A capable man who doesn't even respect Marquis Wu'an.
If the Lou family's weak defenses allowed them to break in before, then what was there to fear in the impregnable Wu'an Marquis's mansion? The only explanation is that even the Wu'an Marquis's mansion couldn't stop them.
Who else in the capital could wield such immense power?
Li Pan has always been unrestrained and dared to speak recklessly even when facing the emperor, but at this moment, he felt that he was losing control of himself, and his hands and feet were stiff.
How could he think like that? How dare he think like that?
He tried to stop thinking, but the stiffer his hands and feet became, the more active his mind became.
--emperor.
Only an emperor could have so many skilled warriors around him, allowing him to move freely in and out of a civil official's home; only an emperor could prevent her, born into a wealthy and powerful family, from seeking justice; only an emperor could give her nightmares on the eve of entering the palace.
But how could he possibly be the emperor?
Lou Xueying is only eighteen years old this year, and she is powerless. What could she possibly do to make an emperor hate her to the core? And even if he hates her to the core, why doesn't he kill her but instead tortures her? What kind of logic is that?
Furthermore, she did have nightmares before entering the palace, but after actually seeing the emperor, she didn't seem so afraid, at least not as afraid as she was when she mistook him for him last night.
And who could it be that Lou Xueying said wanted to break them up? Could it be the Emperor? Although this would explain why the Emperor sent him back to the border in such a hurry, if that's the case, why did the Emperor arrange the marriage in the first place? Was he insane?
It's also possible that Li Pan has gone mad.
He dared not say how much he respected the emperor, but he certainly never showed any contempt for him.
Li Pan's rise to his current position is due not only to General Hu's initial promotion and appreciation, but also to the emperor's decision to defy public opinion and heed General Hu's strong recommendation.
Therefore, Li Pan always believed that His Majesty was a wise ruler who knew how to recognize and appoint capable people.
Although he sometimes disagreed with some of the emperor's actions, he believed that no one in the world was perfect, especially an emperor. It was perfectly normal for him to have some suspicions and temper. Li Pan felt that as long as the emperor was not too incompetent, he could accept it.
But... could it be that Li Pan has been wrong all along? Is the emperor actually a complete and gloomy villain?
Li Pan felt he couldn't keep thinking like this; if he did, he and his mother would soon be able to go down and reunite with his father.
We must find evidence.
However, time waits for no one. He had been delayed in the capital region for so long, and he had to travel day and night to reach the next post station on time so that officials along the way could confirm his whereabouts.
If he were truly the emperor, wouldn't it alert the enemy if he discovered something amiss in his movements?
Besides, evidence isn't so easy to find. If that person wasn't the emperor, wouldn't he just be searching in the wrong direction and wasting his time?
But if he doesn't turn back, and if she is really bullied in the capital, should he pretend not to know and continue to leave her in the abyss?
However... what if, what if something really happens at the border...
He gritted his teeth, slammed his fist on the table, and abruptly stood up.
"Wu Zhao!"
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Author's Note: Wow, 2000 nutrient solutions! I'll add another chapter at 6 PM.
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