Thinking back to the day when he just returned to Ningguta, he also met Xiao An in this room, his wife whom he had not seen for half a year. At that time, her belly was already very high when she was young, and she could not see her feet at all when she stood up. Unfortunately, she was very thin. Her hands and feet were almost skin and bones, and she was very thin. This made her belly look even bigger. He almost cried at that time, but he held it back and let her call him softly. Then she hugged him tightly and cried in his arms for a whole afternoon, and then fell asleep.
Later, Fang Chengyin told Pang Yi that since Grandma Chen passed away in front of Xiao An, Xiao An never slept well again. She woke up from nightmares every day. Even the best soothing soup prepared by Mr. Gu was useless. She was haunted by nightmares every night. She became thinner and more haggard. But she was afraid of hurting the baby in her belly, so she ate a lot every day. Sometimes Fang Chengyin couldn't bear it.
Pang Yi just listened to Fang Chengyin's chattering in silence that night. In Pang Yi's arms, Xiao An slept for the first time without nightmares, but Pang Yi was sleepless. He looked at the woman with a big belly in his arms without blinking his eyes, and he felt sorry for her. He made up his mind that he would never leave Xiao An again and never let this woman suffer any pain.
…
He didn't know if it was because of the alcohol he drank tonight, but Pang Yi felt a little confused. Xiao An and Xiao Nian were both sleeping so soundly, and Xiao An had done a good job in confinement after childbirth. She had gained a lot of weight and her face was rounder. She was even fatter than before. But looking at such a face, he felt so distressed. He looked at her and couldn't help but think of that night on the snowy field.
In the double-layer tent, the girl had fallen asleep early in the morning. He sat in front of the campfire, his front was heated by the fire, but his back was very cold. Just like his mood at that time, he once again set his eyes on the pair of embroidered shoes with little red plums, but was too busy to look away. However, not long after, he turned his head away silently. He hated and despised himself for being like this, but he walked towards the tent uncontrollably...
He gently lifted a corner of the tent, knelt on the ground devoutly but awkwardly, with his face pressed against the cold snow. Through the gap that was less than an inch, he looked at the girl's sleeping face, her slightly furrowed brows due to uncomfortable sleep, and her slightly dry lips. He felt like he was crazy, staring at the sleeping girl like a fool, but he could not move his eyes away. Behind him was the jumping and flickering flame, in front of him was the girl who made his heart beat and despair. At that time, he only felt that he was the saddest and most shameful person in the world. At that time, he would not know that this girl would become his wife later, and he would never know that this girl would suffer such hardships because of him.
…
"What's wrong?" Xiao An suddenly yawned and opened her eyes. She looked at the man sitting on the ground with his back to him. She was startled at first, and then she sat up quickly. "Pang Yi, what are you doing? Why are you sitting on the ground?"
"Oh, I'm a little drunk," Pang Yi wiped his face hurriedly, then stood up and walked out without looking back, "You go to sleep first, I'll go outside to wash up first, so as not to stink you and Nianqin."
"Pang Yi, come here." Xiao An looked at the man's back and suddenly called him.
"What's wrong?" The big hand on the door latch paused, then put it down. Pang Yi turned around, walked to the bed and sat down. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing, I just want to tell you to rest early, we have to travel early tomorrow morning," Xiao An said softly, while reaching out to hold Pang Yi's hand, paused, and then said softly, "Pang Yi, I haven't asked you, are you happy to be a father?"
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