Many quiet nights, he would think about what he was doing in this life, whether it was worth it to sacrifice all his happiness and even his conscience to win the supreme position. But what was the point? He could only grit his teeth and walk to the end of this bloody road.
But later, he still felt sorry for himself. On a cold winter night in Ningguta, he slumped on the hard bed, staring at the spider webs dripping from the beams. He thought about dying countless times, but he was unwilling to do so countless times.
Why not?
I am unwilling to die in such humiliation, and even more unwilling to live such a worthless life.
Later, the girl came, the timid girl with dark eyes, so powerfully propped up the sky above his head.
Thus, his unwillingness became willing. His worthlessness also became worthwhile.
…
"It's worth it for me." Achou said softly.
Amidst the shattered jade and chaotic jade, two people who shed tears silently hugged each other tightly.
…
December 8th, the 32nd year of Jiasheng
Ningguta.
Ah Chou woke up earlier than usual. It was still dark. Zhong Mingwei was still asleep. One hand was resting under her neck, and the other hand was around her waist. Last night before going to bed, Ah Chou was forced by Zhong Mingwei to drink a big bowl of brown sugar ginger tea. At this time, Ah Chou was a little bit suffocated. She should have gotten up, but Ah Chou was reluctant to get up. It was so comfortable to be held in Zhong Mingwei's arms like this. Ah Chou felt that every strand of her hair was comfortable.
In fact, at the beginning, Achou was not used to sleeping with her head resting on someone's arm. Her neck was always sore, and Zhong Mingwei's arm would feel numb from time to time. She complained to Zhong Mingwei and did not sleep with her head resting on Zhong Mingwei's arm that night. They slept separately. But when she woke up early the next morning, Achou found that she was sleeping on a man's arm. Achou rubbed her sore neck and couldn't figure it out for a long time. Did she take the initiative... to throw herself into his arms?
She couldn't figure it out, so she simply stopped thinking about it. But when she went to bed at night, Ah Chou grabbed Zhong Mingwei's arm and used it as a pillow under her head. Zhong Mingwei then put his arm around her waist and laughed silently behind her for a long time.
Now, after a long time, both of them have gotten used to it. Ah Chou no longer feels her neck is sore. Now she can't fall asleep without resting her head on the man's arm.
"Awake?" Ah Chou was holding Zhong Mingwei's hand and squeezing it gently when the man grabbed his hand. Then the man's low and hoarse voice came from behind him, "Why did you wake up so early?"
"Who told you to make me drink brown sugar ginger tea last night?" Ah Chou complained to Zhong Mingwei while turning over to face Zhong Mingwei, "It's still that big bowl. You just didn't let me sleep well."
"Aren't you afraid that you'll have a stomachache again?" Zhong Mingwei said with a smile. He reached out to rub Ah Chou's flat belly and kissed Ah Chou's cheek. "Are you here?"
"Not yet," Ah Chou said coyly. He reached out to pat Zhong Mingwei's hand and complained in a low voice, "Stop rubbing it. I can't hold it anymore. You're still rubbing it..."
"Why is it late again?" Zhong Mingwei frowned, looking worried.
Achou's schedule is never punctual and he is always late, but Achou himself doesn't think it's a big deal. It's Zhong Mingwei who is always worried.
"It's okay, it's not a big deal," Ah Chou couldn't quite understand Zhong Mingwei's worry. Facing Zhong Mingwei's frown, Ah Chou felt more embarrassed. "You're a grown man, why do you always worry about this kind of thing?"
Zhong Mingwei didn't feel embarrassed, and asked Ah Chou with a serious face: "Have you bought the donkey-hide gelatin and bird's nest that I asked you to buy last time?"
"This, this, this..." Ah Chou stuttered immediately, avoiding Zhong Mingwei's gaze and whispered, "There's no, no in the clinic, I can't buy it."
"Really?" Zhong Mingwei's face darkened. "Half a pound of donkey-hide gelatin only costs 100 wen, and there's no gelatin for sale here?"
"What do you mean half a catty is only sold for a hundred coins?! You really don't know how expensive firewood and rice are!" Ah Chou's eyes widened immediately, and he gestured with his fingers, "One catty of donkey-hide gelatin costs two coins! Bird's nest is even more expensive! A small piece costs only one coin! Isn't this robbery?!"
"Didn't you say there was nothing for sale?" Zhong Mingwei said coldly.
"Ah?" Ah Chou suddenly covered his mouth and looked at Zhong Mingwei with embarrassment, "I... I just heard someone say that..."
Zhong Mingwei ignored her and looked at Achou with a dark face, then suddenly turned around.
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