"After being a lapdog for a long time, your heart changes. The fervent joy you had before gradually turns into fear. You used to look forward to spending more and more time with him, but later, you dared not even raise your head in front of him. Then you suddenly realized that you were never husband and wife. He was always the high and mighty master, and you were just a frightened servant from beginning to end." Xiao An smiled bitterly, "Yes, a servant. A servant who has the honor to serve the master closely. A servant who is always worried about being banished to the cold palace."
…
Pang Yi listened to Xiao An's half-awake and half-drunk words without saying a word. He looked at the handkerchief that was getting wet. His heart also became wet. He looked at the unusually quiet woman in front of him. He imagined the journey from the capital to Ningguta, the delicate girl who always annoyed him but made him helpless. He felt bitter and sad.
If time could go back, when he was still in Jilin, he would let Xiao An go and let her sneak away. From then on, there would not be a girl in this world that he would worry about, and there would not be a woman in Ningguta who would live a miserable life and feel sad.
But there is no turning back in life, and there is no medicine for regret in this world.
So, today, they all live so cautiously and in agony.
"Later, I, a servant, was really banished to the cold palace, haha." Xiao An's gentle laughter came from under the handkerchief, with a little hoarseness and a little relief. "You may not believe it, but I actually felt relieved at that time, because I didn't want to be his servant anymore, and I didn't want to find out whether he had feelings for me or not. I... I was really afraid of him. Without the girlish heart I had back then, I became a different person. I used to be like a moth to a flame, reckless, but later I became so cautious and didn't show my true feelings. I was afraid, really afraid..."
"Stop talking," Pang Yi said softly, pouring another cup of tea into Xiao An's hand, and said, "You are drunk. Drink this cup of tea and have a good sleep. When you wake up, nothing will happen."
"How is it possible? No matter how many times I get drunk, I will still have to live the same life when I wake up." Xiao An murmured, taking off the wet towel on her face. She looked at Pang Yi with her red eyes, staring at him straight, and spoke again after a long time, "Pang Yi, please send me away quickly. Ningguta is too cold. I don't want to stay here anymore."
Pang Yi felt a sharp pain in his heart when he was looked at by those eyes. He lowered his eyes and nodded gently: "Okay, I will send you to Southern Xinjiang in one month at the latest."
"Thank you for your help," Xiao An nodded, with a grateful look on her face, "Pang Yi, I am only grateful to two people in this life, one is my father, and the other is you."
"Although my father wants to kill me now, he really loved me back then. It was because of him that I was able to marry my sweetheart as I wished. If I hadn't married him..." At this point, Xiao An curled her lips in self-mockery, "I'm afraid I would never be willing to accept this in my life, and I would be destined to live a bad life. Fortunately, I married him as I wished. Although the ending is not perfect, it finally put my mind at ease. So, I am especially grateful to my father, and the other one is you."
Pang Yi lowered his head and pursed his lips bitterly: "What do I have to be grateful to you for?"
"Of course, you saved me," Xiao An said hurriedly, "whether it was in Shengjing, Jilin, or Ningguta, you saved me every time."
"Jilin?" Pang Yi looked at Xiao An with a smile, "Didn't you pretend to be sick that time?"
"I was indeed pretending to be sick, but you really saved me. On such a snowy day, you braved the wind and snow to buy medicine for me. I appreciate your kindness," Xiao An said every word seriously. She paused and looked up at Pang Yi, "Pang Yi, when we were in Jilin, you made dumplings for me once. Do you remember?"
"I remember," Pang Yi nodded. Thinking of the scene at that time, he couldn't help but curl his lips and smile. "That day was the first day of the Lunar New Year. You clamored to eat dumplings with three fresh fillings, but where could you get three fresh fillings? Later, I made dumplings with tofu and vermicelli fillings for you. There were nearly 30 dumplings on a plate, but you ate them all."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
