Xiao An closed the door with her hand while glancing at Pang Yi's face. She muttered in annoyance, "What are you laughing at? Is there anything funny?"
"I just suddenly remembered that you pretended to be sick before," Pang Yi smiled and sat down, taking out some pills. He also got a cup of hot water and handed it to Xiao An. He smiled and said, "When you pretended to be sick before, you looked pitiful and decent. Now that you are really sick, you don't look like a patient at all."
"It's all right now. Why should I pretend to be pitiful?" Xiao An said in a low voice, taking the pill and swallowing it with the tea. As soon as she put down the teacup, she saw Pang Yi handing over a bag of preserved fruits. Xiao An looked at the dried bayberries and almonds inside, and was stunned for a moment, then looked straight at Pang Yi.
Pang Yi felt a little uncomfortable. He turned his head away and coughed dryly: "When you took the medicine yesterday, you said it was bitter. When I came here today, I saw some of these being sold on the street, so I bought some."
"Thank you." Xiao An said softly, taking a piece of almond preserves and putting it in her mouth. "I loved eating this when I was a child. When I took medicine, my nanny would always prepare a small dish to comfort me. So, I have never been afraid of suffering since I was a child, because there is always sweetness waiting after bitterness."
Pang Yi watched the fair and slender hands twisting the handkerchief and gently wiping her rosy lips. He was so busy that he lowered his eyes and silently stared at the round green bracelet on her wrist.
"Why, don't you feel like eating it now?" Pang Yi asked after a while.
"I still like to eat, but not as much as before," Xiao An sighed softly, paused, and then said, "Maybe I can't endure as much as before, so I don't look forward to this sweet taste as much as when I was a child."
Pang Yi's heart skipped a beat. He didn't say anything, but his back, which had been straight, drooped slightly at this moment.
"Guard Pang, I was drunk yesterday and said a lot of nonsense. Just pretend you have never been here and heard nothing." After a pause, Xiao An looked at Pang Yi calmly, "Thank you for taking care of me. Now that I am well, you don't have to come here again. Please go back."
Pang Yi raised his head and looked at Xiao An. He clenched his hands into fists, but finally loosened them silently. He had never felt so tired, nor so cowardly. He spoke with trembling lips: "I..."
"Pang Yi," Xiao An suddenly interrupted Pang Yi's words, as if she knew what he wanted to say. Xiao An looked at him with a smile, with gratitude and alienation, "Thank you for taking care of me all the time, Pang Yi, I really thank you from the bottom of my heart," Xiao An changed the subject and the faint smile on her lips disappeared, "Pang Yi, since you have pointed out a broad road for me, I am willing to follow the path you pointed out. I know you are doing this for my own good, so I will be grateful to you in my heart for the rest of my life, and I will appreciate your kindness, but Pang Yi, you must also understand that from now on, we are no longer on the same path, so take care of yourself and accept your fate."
"I understand." Pang Yi looked at Xiao An's haggard but resolute face and said softly after a while. He slowly stood up, took two steps back, bowed deeply to Xiao An, then turned and left the room.
“Snap!”
Watching the door being closed, Xiao An could no longer hold on. She laid on the table, looking at the big bag of preserved fruits in front of her, and couldn't help but burst into tears.
Did she want to say such cruel words to Pang Yi? But what could she do?
She had struggled and tried hard. She used to only think about escaping, but gradually she didn't want to go anywhere and only wanted to stay with Pang Yi. Later, she stayed in her room all day, always looking forward to Pang Yi's arrival. Unconsciously, she seemed to have repeated the same mistakes. She completely lost herself for a man and didn't care about anything. She just thought about him and looked forward to him all day. She became the kind of lapdog-like girl she despised and hated the most.
She couldn't go on like this. She had finally bid farewell to those stagnant days and escaped from the capital. She wanted to be reborn and live freely. She couldn't waste herself anymore.
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