Gu Changlin's eyes were sore. He had never shed tears in his life, but now, seeing Zhong Mingwei in this state, his eyes were wet.
"Mingwei, I'm incompetent, I'm sorry for you..." Gu Changlin said hoarsely. "Yunwen doesn't care about anything in his life, but he just can't let go of you, a junior. He is such a strong man. He has never bowed his head to anyone in his life, but he begged me to take care of your body, and I actually...actually let him down. Mingwei, I feel guilty..."
"Sir, I don't blame you. I really don't blame you." Zhong Mingwei choked up, knowing that Mei Ya was outside, he tried his best not to cry out loud. "It's my fault. If I had known that I was in such a state, I... I would have died a long time ago, why would I have offended this girl? It's all my fault..."
Yeah. It's all his fault.
He was clearly a half-dead paraplegic who could only be a burden, and he was clearly sixteen years older than Meiya. He was clearly destined to have an uncertain future with his status, but he still shamelessly fell in love with her and dragged her into trouble. In the past, he never dared to examine himself. He always comforted himself by saying that they were in love or that it was just a natural thing. But what about now?
Facing Mei Ya who was busy working and humming a little tune outside the window, he really couldn't continue to deceive himself.
"Mingwei, you... don't be too sad," Gu Changlin finally managed to squeeze out a sentence, "Maybe the fortune teller I found was not accurate? Maybe the fortune teller was just talking nonsense? Don't take it to heart, just pretend that you have never been to that thatched cottage, and continue to prepare for the wedding..."
"How can I pretend I haven't been there?" Zhong Mingwei said slowly, wiping his face with his sleeve. When he looked up again, his face had regained its clarity. His dark and moist eyes stared at Gu Changlin without blinking. "Even if the fortune teller was just talking nonsense, so what? Sir, I really can't do it. I can't be so cruel as to make that girl unable to be a mother in this life."
Yes, how could he be so cruel?
Meiya longs for a complete family so much and loves dolls so much, how could he be so cruel as to let her be childless for the rest of her life?
He really couldn't do it. Even though he was sure that if Mei Ya knew his situation, she would marry him without hesitation and treat him better than she was now, he really couldn't bear it.
I can't bear the torment and guilt in my heart in this life, and I can't bear to let Meiya face such a depressed self for the rest of her life.
He had always been a person with low self-esteem, and would only become more decadent in the future*. There was nothing that could be done about it, but it was obvious, so he could no longer take off his clothes and go into the water.
Such a good girl deserves to have a complete family, and is destined to have a wealthy husband, a glorious wife, and both sons and daughters.
…
After that day, Zhong Mingwei fell ill, Pang Yi and Gu Changlin also became unusually silent. Only Mei Ya was busy all the time, anxious like an ant on hot pan all day long. Today she even lost her temper at Gu Changlin.
Gu Changlin sat in the room in a daze. After a while, the aroma of chicken soup wafted in from the window. He came to his senses, stood up, and walked through the outer hall into the bedroom of Zhong Mingwei and Mei Ya. It was almost dusk and the room was dim. Only a ray of bloody setting sun shone in through the hole in the window and hit Zhong Mingwei's face. Zhong Mingwei was sleeping uneasily, with his brows furrowed and the corners of his mouth twitching from time to time, as if he was having a nightmare.
"Mingwei," Gu Changlin sat on the edge of the kang and stroked Zhong Mingwei's sweaty forehead from behind. He no longer had a fever, but his face was still very pale. Gu Changlin couldn't help but sigh, "What a sin!"
Zhong Mingwei slowly opened his eyes and stared at the beams in confusion. After a pause, his eyes regained clarity and fell on Gu Changlin. Then he supported himself with his hands and sat up: "Sir, why are you here?"
"Mingwei, good boy," Gu Changlin reached out and took a pillow and placed it behind Zhong Mingwei. He took a handkerchief to wipe the sweat off Zhong Mingwei and asked in a deep voice, "How do you feel now?"
"I'm almost better now. I'm not as drowsy as I was a few days ago," Zhong Mingwei said. He pursed his dry lips, sniffed, and chuckled, "Would you like some chicken soup tonight?"
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