"Seeing my drug addiction kick in, you're biting around like a mad dog?" Qin Chong continued, his tone still indifferent. As he spoke, he put the tea bowl in his hand on the small table, then leaned on the pillow and looked at Gu Qingtong sneerfully, "You must be scared, right? How could you get involved with someone as dirty as me, right..."
"I didn't..." Gu Qingtong was busy interrupting Qin Chong's words, but she couldn't continue as soon as she opened her mouth. Qin Chong was right. She was really scared when she saw Qin Chong's drug addiction just now. Not only at the beginning, but she was still scared now. At that time, she even thought of asking Chen Qingxuan to come over and throw this guy out, so Qin Chong was right and she couldn't refute it at all.
"Are you okay? Have you never seen a drug addict like me? Or do you have no plans to take me in anymore? Don't worry, although I'm dirty from the inside out, I know myself well and will never make things difficult for you." Qin Chong sneered and lifted the blanket, ready to get out of bed. However, he was too weak to stand steadily and sat down on the bed. He might have felt ashamed, his eyebrows stood up, and he pressed the edge of the bed with both hands, gritted his teeth and tried to stand up again. This time he did stand up, but his forehead was covered with fine beads of sweat, and his whole body was shaky, as if he would collapse at any time.
"Sit down, sit down quickly!" Gu Qingtong hurried to help Qin Chong, but was pushed away by Qin Chong. Gu Qingtong looked at his almost enduring appearance, feeling sad and anxious. She wanted to comfort Qin Chong, but seeing his gritting teeth, she dared not say anything. After all, she knew nothing about this man. If it weren't for the sudden change last night, she would have thought he was just a poor criminal slave, but now, she knew that he was definitely more than just a criminal slave, he might be far more terrifying than she imagined.
Qin Chong was panting violently. He held on to the table and tried his best to muster every bit of strength in his body. The harder he tried, the more breathless he became, like a fish out of water. Powerlessness and sadness filled his heart. This was not the first time he had an addiction to drugs. He had experienced such embarrassing and miserable situations in the past in southern Xinjiang. He had knelt in front of Xu Chengjin like a dog and begged for mercy. He had lived like that for fifteen years. At the beginning, he still knew humiliation, but gradually, he became numb. He no longer cared about the idea of not accepting charity, or the idea of propriety, righteousness, and integrity. He just wanted to stay alive, even if he had to live like a dog. He had thought about dying, but he didn't dare to commit suicide. When he thought about how heartbroken his parents would be when they heard the bad news about him... he didn't dare to think about it at all. So, he just lived like a dog.
But today, he felt ashamed and sad. What was the big deal? In the past fifteen years, this kind of situation had happened every few days. He had long been numb and accustomed to it. So what was there to be ashamed of?
But he couldn't help it. The deep sadness made him think of death again. He felt that there was no meaning for him to live anymore. Even though his parents had sacrificed their lives to buy this life, living was too painful and tormenting. He couldn't see any hope, even though...
Not long ago, a ray of sunshine shone on him, making him feel unusually warm. But now, this ray of sunshine disappeared again, and his world was still grey and cold. He had really had enough of living.
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