ash
Xizhen didn't notice when he went from standing, to bending over, then leaning over, and then kneeling.
He has never been one to grovel.
So he won't give a good face to anyone who wants him to kneel down and beg for mercy.
The rumors circulating in the court and the fearful and timid looks from those around him were probably grown from his murderous smile.
He lowered his eyes to look at his folded palms.
He held that hand tightly, but because he was afraid of hurting Jian Shiyun, he used very little force.
Just as gently as when Jian Shiyun held his hand when they went to do charity everywhere when they were young.
He hasn't forgotten anything.
It had been so long since they last met.
But he won't forget.
Some memories will be remembered more deeply as time goes by, engraved into the bone marrow. Once recalled, the more beautiful they are, the more scarred they will be.
Xizhen blinked and suddenly felt her eyes, which had been dry for a long time, suddenly become moist.
Warm liquid wrapped around his eyelids, accumulating and storing, as if hesitating whether to slowly slide down his cheeks, drip down, and then drip onto the hem of his clothes.
He was so emotional that he wanted to use force to hold Jian Shiyun's hand tightly.
This is his only relative in the world.
Just as the masked man said back then, he wanted to protect his relatives, his own sister, and not let her get hurt.
But why, in the end it was his sister who protected him?
Every time, every time it was his sister who protected him.
It seemed as if he had never picked up the double blades given to him by his sister to protect her once.
It seemed that every time he raised the blade and cut the opponent's throat, he was venting his anger for himself, not for Jian Shiyun.
He is so cowardly and insignificant.
Even after he had calmed down, when Jian Shijun asked him questions later, he didn't dare to look up at her or say a word.
Keep those dirty deeds behind your back.
He was unwilling to show it to Jian Shijun.
If Jian Shijun saw it... he might be afraid of himself.
It was like dissecting his own bloody heart and showing it to her.
I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to accept her brother, who seemed to be an uncontrollable murderer.
She was there to help the sick. And he was killing the sick people she had helped, but who said she wasn't.
It's really funny and ridiculous.
Such a good sister, and such a despicable him.
But fate seemed to be the opposite.
He became someone who could walk freely in the light.
But she became a bird that could only hide in a gorgeous cage and could not see the light.
…
No.
Jian Shiyun has never been a canary.
She always knew what she should and shouldn't do.
So when I helped him create an opportunity to escape, I had already buried my true self deep in the past.
Sealed in the days of living together.
Then why don't you want to open your eyes and look at him?
Don’t you want to?
Or had he already chosen his own end when he decided not to escape from Zuihualou with Jiang Nian, and sat in that dark secret passage?
Such a dark place is definitely not the right place for her, right?
Even if Jian Shiyun is going to die, she should face her end with the best attitude, right?
Instead of being played a trick by fate, sitting there in a dirty and dusty place where no one wants to approach?
Jian Shiyun.
Didn’t you choose such beautiful clothes and put on such beautiful makeup as souvenirs for going to the underground?
Why stay in that place...
Xizhen still stubbornly kept his palms clenched, unwilling to let go of her hand.
It seemed that as long as she used her body temperature, this cold hand could be warmed back up, just like when she was a child, wiping away the tears from the corners of his eyes.
Xizhen was a little confused about himself.
Such an affectionate reaction is really a shame for the pretense of indifference over the years.
According to his thinking, he should have said goodbye to Jian Shiyun in a decent manner and then kept her in the deepest part of his memory.
Instead of stubbornly kneeling in front of her corpse, asking for an answer that he would never get in this lifetime—
You planned and planned so much, didn't you just want to see me? Just to talk to me?
Why choose death on the eve of meeting him?
Even if you fall on the side where you step out of the passage, he can still comfort himself.
Comfort yourself, it’s not that your sister doesn’t want to come to see him, but that she can’t get there.
It's not that I didn't come to see him, but that he came too late.
Then he can use this fact to blame himself.
He blamed himself even more for everything he had done to Jian Shiyun in the past, present and life.
…
It's just despicable.
I just want to make myself feel better by blaming others.
However, he will never receive such reproach again.
Jian Shiyun died at that corner.
Xizhen couldn't figure it out at all.
The secret passage goes down in a spiral shape. Go to the last step and keep going forward to reach the ventilation vent.
But Jian Shijun didn't move forward.
She chose to exit the secret passage and walk in the opposite direction.
Go into this secret passage, to the place where the poisonous smoke is the thickest.
Why?
Why go there?
Why did she choose to sit there?
Why did she plan so much to meet him, but gave up the idea at the last minute, without leaving him a single letter, and just sat in that corner, leaving him to suffer the sorrow alone?
Why?
Who will tell him?
Who will tell him why his sister did this?
Xizhen really felt that the mask he had been pretending for many years had been broken.
Completely broken.
He was so confident when he spoke to Jiang Nian.
Although I don't understand it verbally.
But when Jiang Nian had nowhere to go, he could infer that his sister would accept Jiang Nian.
…
He understands his sister, right?
Then why couldn't he guess what his sister was thinking?
Was his sister punishing him for hiding anything he had done from her in the past?
Countless whys.
Why could no one answer these questions? He could only think about them and ponder them for the rest of his life, but he would never get a correct answer.
Jian Shiyun was really cruel to him.
Would she think that after so many years, her brother has become very adept at navigating these complicated political situations and will no longer sell out his feelings easily, so she treats him so harshly?
She left so cleanly and neatly.
Just complete half of the plan.
Then throw the residue at him and let him pick up the fragments on the ground, collect these bits and pieces, and then piece them together to form a blank answer.
It turns out that he has to write the answer himself.
Going out of the ventilation vent, you will be outside Cangjun City.
This place is very close to the river.
In August, the howling wind made him feel cold all over and his limbs numb, leaving him kneeling in front of Jian Shiyun.
Yu He came over.
He bent down, trying to pry open her closed hands and take Jian Shijun back.
…
The stream pillow was so numb that even the traces of tears dried up.
Over the years, there have been very few things that have caused him such great emotional ups and downs.
This time should be the last time.
Such a cold wind. Such icy hands.
Can it warm up?
Xizhen wanted to look up and ask Yu He who was standing beside him with his eyes lowered.
But there was no expression on Yu He's face.
He seemed to be trapped in an icy cave.
His expression remained as indifferent as ever, as if there wasn't even a hint of a crack.
But is this true?
Yu He loosened his hands and gave up the idea of prying open Xi Zhen's hands and closing them.
His throat was dry and he was unable to speak.
Although his emotions were calm, he couldn't utter a single word.
Tong Xizhen stared at each other quietly for a few seconds, then sighed. He tried his best to calm his inner emotions and said lightly:
"She's dead."
"...Don't grab her."
Yu He sighed. Under normal circumstances, Xi Zhen would definitely be able to hear the slight tremor in his sigh.
But the situation was different from usual, Xizhen didn't hear it.
"...Commander Yu, it really is exactly as the rumors say."
The hands holding the goddess loosened slightly, Xizhen sniffed lightly, and stood up from the ground.
Jian Shiyun in front of him still looked like she was asleep.
It seems that I will open my eyes and look at them the next moment.
—
The Zuihualou building next to it stopped collapsing and remained at a crooked angle.
The subordinates who were guarding outside Zuihua Tower in the distance rushed over, began to clean up the debris, leaned over and drilled into the ruins, began to look for the location of the talisman array, and through the directions indicated by the talisman arrays on the bottom floor, tracked down those Wu Mi believers who had escaped early and had disappeared.
Xizhen slowly put Jian Shiyun's hand back to her side, raised her eyes to look at Yu He's face, and saw that he was staring at Zuihualou without any reaction, so she suddenly started to explain.
"The person who designed Zuihua Tower reinforced it. It's not on the same level as the other towers, and..."
"Among the materials related to the talisman formation in the batch of goods you received, there was a reinforcement for the talisman formation to prevent it from being damaged by strong impacts."
…
Yu He shifted his gaze from the collapsed and tilted Zuihua Tower to the ground, and suddenly looked at Jian Shiyun who was leaning against a stone.
"There were two pills in that shipment."
He moved, took out the pill he carried with him from his sleeve, and handed it to Xizhen.
"According to my subordinates' investigation, these two pills and that batch of goods... are all what the goddess needs."
"Do you know what these two pills are used for?"
Xizhen took the two pills silently and looked at them for a while.
The pills are white granules and there is nothing special about them.
There is no special smell when you smell it.
It's like the common medicinal pills in a pharmacy, with no place for close inspection.
Xizhen gathered the pills in his palm, with a vague premonition in his heart.
"Has the goddess ever left Zuihualou before?"
He didn't want to confirm anything, but wanted to confirm what he was thinking with others by asking.
Yu He remained silent, just raised his eyes calmly and met Xi Zhen's dark eyes.
"This matter was originally the responsibility of Duke Xiao."
“…”
When he went to Zuihualou yesterday, he should have gone to the first floor to check the itinerary records there.
He took it for granted that Jian Shijun would wait for him and come to see him.
Tell what happened in the past, and then choose the path you ultimately want to take.
But I didn't expect Jian Shiyun to choose to leave directly.
"Understood."
Xizhen bent down, turned Jian Shijun over as if he had treated the corpses of the Wu Mi people in the past, and reached out to slightly open her collar.
The dark crimson color inside the collar pierced his eyes. Xizhen loosened his fingertips and the clothes returned to their original position.
"It should be the antidote to get rid of the Wu Mi people."
He lowered his eyelashes and looked at Jian Shiyun's face.
"The Wu Mi people want to use a talisman array to restrain her."
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