rot
The wind is howling and the candlelight is dim.
Jiang Nian put away the letter that Meng Zheng had just sent, and wanted to move a chair out for Xiao Yingzhu to sit on, but when he turned around, he found that the person was already sitting there.
...You're really not polite at all.
Jiang Nian then sat opposite him, waiting for Xiao Yingzhu's questions.
The other party was not the type to talk too much or beat around the bush, so he got straight to the point.
"Did Meng Zheng send you a letter?"
She was surprised that he would come to her to talk about this at this time, but then she thought that Xiao Yingzhu was well-informed and it was normal for her to be concerned about their developments.
Considering Meng Zheng's personality and his attitude towards Xiao Yingzhu, even in front of his old ally, Jiang Nian replied with some reservations: "Well, it's just about the progress of the bishop."
Xiao Yingzhu raised her eyes, and a hint of cold inquiry flashed in her eyes, but it disappeared so quickly that Jiang Nian didn't see it clearly.
"Any talk of thieves?"
The content of the letters was the most important part. Jiang Nian was silent for a moment and looked at Xiao Yingzhu.
His expression remained unchanged, as if he was really just asking to know the progress of their investigation.
Do you want to know the direction of their investigation through the thieves?
Jiang Nian cleared his chaotic thoughts and shook his head, saying, "That's not the case. We plan to investigate in a different direction."
"Change it." Xiao Yingzhu's tone was flat, without any ups and downs, as if she was simply responding to the question, "So it was there originally?"
Thinking about how he hadn't arrived yet when they were discussing the topic of thieves in the conference room, Jiang Nian hesitated for a moment and nodded.
"Um."
“…”
The other party was silent for a while. He has always been rational and restrained. No matter how much emotion he has, it will be suppressed under his appearance that is used to pretending. Therefore, no matter how much Jiang Nian wants to see clearly, he can only see that his face is covered with a mist.
But now the fog seems to be dissipating.
Xiao Yingzhu didn't reach out to touch her body or skin. As an ally, he couldn't do that. And in their ambiguous relationship, he also refrained from doing so out of courtesy.
He simply lowered his eyes, his gaze falling on her hands hanging on her knees.
"Really?"
The tone of voice was unchanged and as bland as water.
But it sounded frightening.
Xiao Yingzhu spoke very slowly, as if enunciating every word so she could hear clearly, "The previous meeting yielded no results, but now the direction of the investigation has changed."
"Why didn't you tell me directly that you had expressed your suspicions and attitude to him?"
He raised his eyelids, and his gaze slowly and lightly swept from the back of his hand upwards, finally landing on her pupils, which were as dark as ink, so dark that they could sink deep into her eyes.
"Are you on guard against me?"
Jiang Nian.
Although Xiao Yingzhu didn't say her name, she could hear the sound of him softly saying her name as if it were real.
Xiao Yingzhu tilted his head as if puzzled, his fine bangs scattered in front of his narrow eyes, and his charming face was almost half submerged in the dark.
The fiery red candlelight was clearly reflected in his pupils.
The distant gaze that never left her face seemed to be able to penetrate her skin and leave an imprint on her heart.
His fair skin, like a ghost in the candlelight, and his charming eyes and eyebrows caught Jiang Nian's eyes. After so many days of getting along, he had long since restrained his rebelliousness and aggressiveness. But at this moment, with his calm yet somewhat helpless expression, Jiang Nian inexplicably felt the panic of being tightly entangled by the silk threads.
Jiang Nian's heart was gripped uncomfortably. He was not used to this uncomfortable feeling, so he could only frown slightly and look away from Xiao Yingzhu: "No, but you should also know... Since it is a cooperation, then I have the right to conceal the content of the cooperation."
Xiao Yingzhu looked at her indifferently, and Jiang Nian could hardly make out the gloomy emotion in his eyes.
"Yeah?"
"But..." He chuckled softly, "Meng Zheng knows about our partnership, so why can't I know about yours?"
There was only a table between them, and because of his questioning, which was neither happy nor sad but seemed to carry a trace of elusive dissatisfaction, Xiao Yingzhu rested her hands casually on the table. The two of them were so close that even the texture of the pupils and irises could be clearly seen.
He just likes to keep a relative distance.
Either near or far.
They don’t like physical contact, but at certain times, they make invisible touches that are deeper than normal companionship and ambiguous relationships.
The shadows cast on the floor were already intertwined, but under the candlelight, they were at a distance and could only see each other's eyebrows and eyes.
Emotions, reactions.
Slow, hesitant.
Deception, lies.
Everything is in full view at this distance.
Jiang Nian found it difficult to understand his character.
He is the one who is bloodthirsty and murderous.
He is surly and cynical.
He is casual and nonchalant.
He is also gentle, polite, and elegant like the moon.
Xiao Yingzhu always shows different aspects of his appearance at specific time periods to deceive people in order to achieve his goals.
Was the fragility and anxiety, the innocence and helplessness he displayed this time and last time also an act?
Jiang Nian felt that he could no longer tell which of these people he had seen was the real him.
“…Why bother?”
here we go again.
The familiar beginning of an argument.
The relationship has only been going on for a while, and now it's going to go back to the same old ways?
Jiang Nian closed his eyes, not wanting to say the next words.
"You want to see in my face what I'm thinking."
"My thoughts are clearly visible to you. Even if I try to hide them, it won't make much difference."
"Since we've gotten to know each other, you've been able to use your sharp and incisive observation to predict my thoughts and behavior... Just by observing my emotions from my face, you can confirm what I'm thinking."
Jiang Nian just felt a headache.
She didn't want to have a conflict with Xiao Yingzhu.
She didn't want to have such a pointless argument.
There is never a standard answer to such a conversation, and there is no end in sight.
It only deepened the fracture in their relationship.
Now it is hanging on only by the thread of its current cooperation.
Hanging only on interests.
Jiang Nian lowered his eyes: "Even so, you and I are already equals, and I can't see through you."
"You said that it was unfair of me to conceal my cooperation with Meng Zheng."
"When have you ever been fair to me?"
She somewhat missed herself in Pingzhou when she only had to pretend to be gentle and cunning to test people's character.
At that time, she didn't have many clues, nor did she have any deeper connections. She didn't even know his position - it was like her life was hanging in the air.
But it's relaxing.
Now we have arrived in Cang County.
Except for the endless and overwhelming tasks and pressure.
What comes with it is an increasingly painful relationship.
Jiang Nian could no longer feel the stabbing pain in his heart.
The little pain was gone.
No matter where you go, you are being used and fished out.
What was most difficult to accept was that Xiao Yingzhu had been deceiving her since the moment they met.
This meant that every time they communicated with Pingzhou, she would hide things in front of him like a clown.
Maybe it's a bit extreme.
But that seems to be the case.
So she liked Xiao Yingzhu before, but what about now——?
The love I felt at that time was probably just a flash in the pan.
It's an illusion.
Jiang Nian took a deep breath and raised his hand to press on Xiao Yingzhu's hand.
She's going to change her mind.
She didn't want to be led around by him like this.
The annoyance in his heart was suppressed, and Jiang Nian raised his eyes calmly and looked directly at Xiao Yingzhu.
"Since it's not fair, let's just save our energy."
"I don't know what you're worried about... Are you worried that I'll run away with Meng Zheng, or that I'll return to my original era at any time?"
"How is it possible that a dignified Duke is so fragile and so easily yielded to? "
"You're just acting."
"Is it fun to fish for me?"
"Was it fun to see me crying before?"
"Is it fun to watch me, a chess piece, spinning around in your hands?"
"There has never been fairness, so how can you talk about fairness?"
The class divisions in this era are too obvious.
They could not have been an equal relationship from the beginning.
How could such a natural barrier be broken down?
She is not some supermodel who can change the rules and regulations of this era by herself.
Jiang Nian looked at Xiao Yingzhu coldly, then stood up.
"Since it's a cooperative relationship, each of us should do our part."
"My cooperation with Meng Zheng is none of your business. Don't ask about it anymore."
Jiang Nian's anger subsided a little and he closed the notebook.
"I know there are some things you can't say, but if you don't, we will always be separated by this unsolvable conflict."
She turned her head and said in a calmer tone: "It may be a problem with your original family, or it may be a problem after the Shen Jiangzhan incident."
"Anyway, I can understand if there's something hidden."
"But don't keep testing me."
Jiang Nian looked away. In silence, she stared at the flickering candlelight. In the darkness, this light seemed to be engraved in her mind.
"... Is there anything you want to know, anything you want to understand? Could you please be more straightforward?"
"If you know everything, there's no need to beat around the bush."
"You're wary of the people around you. That's because they're native to this era, and if they want to backstab you, they can."
"But I don't exist in this era. Currently, I can only rely on your connections to improve the reputation of my pharmacy and keep it running."
"To put it bluntly, once I leave your cooperation and our relationship breaks down, all my efforts will be for nothing if you want."
Jiang Nian loosened his clenched hands, stood in front of Xiao Yingzhu, and looked down at him.
"Until the cooperation ends, 'everything' of mine is yours. You can control it however you want, and I will cooperate. I will not go against your 'wishes' - those plans."
"I possess professional abilities that transcend this era. I can be your knife, your blade, your sharpest sword."
She smiled slightly, but unlike her usual gentle smile, this time her smile was extremely mocking and cold, like a withered and rotten flower.
"As long as you can agree with me on what I want, I can use my expertise to maximize your plan."
"Famine, plague, these things that are difficult for you to solve - in my time, I could have done it long ago."
"Although the current technological research results alone cannot completely solve this type of problem, I can minimize it and even suppress the impending war."
Jiang Nian slowly stretched out his hand and gently stroked Xiao Yingzhu's cheek, which was slightly stunned and surprised.
She placed her palm against his cheek, leaned over and whispered softly in his ear:
"Since I am your most special person, your most hidden trump card, then as the 'lifeblood of the chess game,' I have the right to make my own demands."
"Xiao Yingzhu, between you and me, there will be no more deception, no more 'inequality', 'unfreedom', 'hypocrisy'. Everything you have is everything I have, and everything I have is for you to use in any way you want... Okay?"
“…”
Xiao Yingzhu rolled her pupils and slowly looked at Jiang Nian's calm and gentle face.
Her smile was shallow, yet as sweet as expired frosting.
Through her light brown pupils, Xiao Yingzhu saw deeper levels of decay and corruption.
Endless resentment, uneasiness, panic, boredom, denial, escape, and exponential disgust and disdain.
Beneath that soft and caring exterior lies a rotten and stinking swamp.
Xiao Yingzhu's sight slowly focused, and his original astonishment faded away, as if he had smelled an obedient prey that was brought to his eyes and was about to be devoured. The dull and boring atmosphere gradually turned into interest, and more obscure emotions were suppressed beneath his pupils.
He still stared at Jiang Nian casually, a smile gradually appearing on his lips. As if he had heard something interesting and wanted to confirm it again and again, "Everything I have is everything you have, and everything you have can also belong to me?"
Jiang Nian's smile became softer and gentler: "Yes."
"Avoiding war and upholding your parents' beliefs...isn't that what you've always done?"
"Use me well and this wish will come true."
"..." The smile on Xiao Yingzhu's lips widened a little, but the thoughts that flashed through his mind were vague, and the cage seemed to have become a little stronger.
In the silence, the subtle crackling of the candlelight rang in their ears.
He smiled, and compared to his usual bland smile, this time there was a hint of genuine joy in his expression: "Okay, this matter...you and I must remember."
"But you must never forget."
The outstretched hand was immediately held, and the blood mixed when the fingertips touched.
You must remember this.
Until the end of this cooperation——
But will this collaboration end?
I accept all your hatred.
I accept all the corruption within your flawless exterior.
You are greedy for wealth, greedy for reputation, greedy for showing how much you can do, you have great confidence in your own strength and disdain that others will never surpass you, you like to deceive people around you with a gentle appearance, you hang your inner secrets high, and only show them to people you are willing to show, you are endlessly disgusted with yourself, you avoid problems, and you are cowardly to avoid emotions.
I'll take them all.
Everything you have belongs to me.
And everything I have belongs to you.
Then, you will also accept my endless desire for control, jealousy, all my shortcomings, and even my possessiveness that wants to imprison you forever so that no one can see you, right?
After all, they are all remains that have long since rotted away and are no longer intact.
But I heard it from that person's mouth...about your extreme disgust and self-denial, your excuse for escaping from this world because you didn't want to face reality.
Xiao Yingzhu smiled, looking down at their clasped hands. Then, she slowly shifted the weight, threading her fingertips through the other's fingers, firmly holding them.
Even though he understood what Lan said, he still had to follow the steps Lan gave him to find Shouzan's lost memories.
After finding the last refuge and recovering his memory, Shouzan heard from Lan again, "You no longer want to live in the original era. Your spirit is unable to sustain you until you wake up from the disaster and continue living."
It was obvious that I was in so much pain about the original world that all I could recall were one-sided, beautiful memories.
Are you still going to pretend you don’t know?
So you will always be by my side.
Accept everything that belongs to me.
yes.
You will.
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