Chapter 9
The emperor and his officials had not slept most of the night, their minds still occupied by some system problems. When discussing state affairs, their attitudes were very gentle, their voices were good, and they spoke slowly.
Not a single civil or military official in the court spoke loudly enough so that their voices could be heard outside the hall and heard by their bored colleagues.
Chu Huan was really bored and called the system.
System: [Good morning, Sister Huan, would you like some melon?]
Chu Hua: [Let's have something warmer to cheer us up.]
System: [Alright!]
The emperor and his officials were filled with anticipation, with one official even whispering, "I'll bet a meat bun that the first melon today will belong to the Minister of Revenue."
The person next to him cooperated and said, "Then I'll bet on the Third Prince."
The next second, the system said: [Let’s talk about the warm-up of the Minister of Revenue first.]
The Minister of Revenue was shocked. Why me again?!
"Haha, I won." The official who bet on the meat bun was particularly proud, which made the emperor a little envious. He also bet on the Minister of Revenue.
System: [He finally changed into a brand new pair of silk underwear today. Unfortunately, he didn't know that while the underwear was drying, his grandson, who was playing hide-and-seek, took a fancy to it and wiped his nose at it because of the good material and nice touch.]
Chu Hua: [Puff.]
This is too... Hahaha! The emperor turned his head away and all the officials covered their mouths.
The Minister of Revenue's face turned green. He couldn't imagine which part of his grandson's underwear he used to wipe his nose, and whether the underwear had been washed afterwards and whether it was clean.
If he had known this would happen, he would not have changed it. His little grandson would definitely not look down on his old underwear with holes in it!
System: [Do you want to specify whose melon to eat next? ]
Chu Huan thought for a moment and said, "The Third Prince is about to go offline, so let's go with the Second Prince."
In an instant, the second prince's gentle face collapsed.
These past few days, while happily enjoying himself in the court, he had wondered if the same thing would happen to him. For this reason, he kept silent in the court and took a detour when going to court, for fear of attracting Chu Huan's attention. As a result, he was implicated because of the third prince.
You deserve it. People call you a eunuch and cuckold you more than a dozen times!
The second prince was angry, the second prince was powerless, and the second prince still wanted to struggle.
System: [Sister Huan, what kind of gossip do you want to hear? Wine, sex, money, and anger?]
Chu Huan: [Yesterday the Emperor mentioned the Second Prince's diplomatic mission to the Southern Barbarians. Is there any gossip about this?]
The second prince quickly brainstormed, thinking back to what happened during his mission, and when he was sure that there was nothing to talk about, he immediately felt relieved.
However, the system is extremely professional in digging out melons, and it can even dig out melons that the parties themselves do not know about.
[The Nanman region's geography and climate are very different from the Dasheng region. It's hot and humid there, so plants grow very fast, especially bamboo. The Nanman people adapt to local conditions and live in bamboo houses, which are easy to build and maintain.]
This beginning... sounds a little familiar.
The last time there was a similar beginning was when Chu Huan revealed the secret of a scandal when she was seven years old. The emperor and all the officials subconsciously thought: This secret can’t be small!
The second prince had the same premonition, but after thinking about it, he felt that there was no problem. It’s okay, don’t panic!
System: [The Nanman people have the custom of walking marriage. Simply put, they don't get married, but if they have children, they raise them together. At dusk, opening the window of the bamboo house means that walking marriage is allowed at night. In some places, men go to women's homes, but in the Nanman area, everyone is treated equally, without gender discrimination.]
When the Second Prince first arrived, he didn't know the customs of the Southern Barbarians. He simply felt the weather was too hot and stuffy, and he wasn't used to it. So he opened the windows of the bamboo house to ventilate and dissipate the heat. That night, a beautiful girl who had taken a fancy to him climbed in through the window.
Chu Huan had heard of walking marriage in modern times and thought that this custom was suitable for single women who did not want to get married but wanted children, provided that the man was healthy, had no history of genetic diseases, and was fertile.
From this perspective, walking marriage, where the couple get together at night and separate in the morning, is not very suitable.
Chu Huan quickly collected her thoughts: [And then? Was the Second Prince slept with?]
The Second Prince: "..." Was he slept with? Why does this sound so strange?
Was it his imagination? He felt like Chu Huan was looking forward to it.
In fact, the emperor and all the officials were eager to watch the fun, and each of them was even more excited than Chu Huan.
System: [The Second Prince has guards guarding the door and servants keeping watch by his bedside. How could he allow a girl with no martial arts skills to just sneak into his room and sleep with him? The beautiful girl had just climbed through the window when she was caught by the guards, dragged away, and interrogated. Then, seeing the guard's strong build, the girl decided it was more to her liking, so she explained her intentions and slept with him.]
The Second Prince opened too many windows. He was also handsome, completely different from the local men of the Southern Barbarians. The girls wanted to try something new and also wanted to have a child as handsome as him. Every night, girls would try to climb through his windows. In the end, all the guards and servants around him were stripped of their virginity, leaving him alone, going in and coming back clean.
Second Prince: “…”
Chu Huan: [How does that sound so tragic? All the pretty girls were after the Second Prince, but he didn't get to see any of them. If he was still a virgin at the time, he'd be the only one who hadn't lost their virginity, which would have been even more tragic!]
The emperor and all the officials immediately calculated the time. The second prince went to Nanman five years ago and married the princess three years ago.
Hiss—it’s over, he’s the only one left! It’s even more miserable!
The system sighed: [Oh, who says it isn't true? Boys should be a little cautious when they're out there and protect themselves well, but he's being... isn't he being overly protective? He's not some chaste man. After marrying the prince's wife, he has concubines and mistresses, and a backyard full of beauties. As for going to the Southern Barbarians, will he go there a virgin and come back a virgin?]
The Second Prince's usual gentle expression had disappeared, and the glitter in his eyes was gone.
Virgin, virgin, virgin, what did being a virgin do to you? Is it necessary to keep saying the word virgin?!
Chu Huan disagreed: [Isn't this good? A man without self-respect is like rotten cabbage. Protecting male virtue is everyone's responsibility.]
System: [That's true.]
Men: "..." What is it! You, the system, don't even know whether it's a man or a woman, stop making trouble!
Chu Huan was overwhelmed and urged: "Anything else?"
System: [Of course he does. He's got a lot going on. Don't be fooled by the Second Prince's gentle, chaste, and virtuous appearance. He's actually quite a bit of a sultry person. Just his favorite positions alone could fill you with a whole book of pornographic images.]
Chu Huan was very disappointed: [Then why don’t you write it and see how it goes! ]
Emperor and all officials: Thank you for expressing our thoughts!
The Second Prince's cold, pale face turned blue and red. "What's wrong with you, you melon-eating system? Where's the promise of protecting minors? Why are you focusing on other people's business?"
System: [Then I'll just recite a few sentences. How much you can hear depends on fate.]
The grown men immediately became more energetic. They stayed up all night watching the pain of the system's poor doctor Miao, and felt that the confusion of being useless and illiterate after decades of experience completely disappeared.
What pain are you in? What confusion are you feeling?
After eating the second prince’s virgin melon, my waist and legs instantly stopped aching and I could read twenty memorials in one breath!
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