Chapter 95 Don’t Cry, Don’t Cry, I Almost Wanted to Kill Her
She felt like she was falling, surrounded by a darkness and coldness that squeezed her soul. But the end of her descent wasn't the mud at the bottom of the pool, but a flickering flame.
The bitter cold that penetrated deep into the bone marrow was gradually replaced by warmth, but this warmth was choking, with a taste that was both nostalgic and disgusting.
She seemed to be back in that smoky village.
She saw her father again.
Daddy squatted in front of the ruins of the pharmacy that had been burned down in the first wave of war, his back hunched. He turned around and stuffed the packet of bitter arsenic powder into her hands.
Thick smoke, mingled with the smell of charred corpses, swirled up from the ashes of memory, choking her to the point of tears. The ten-year-old orphan curled up, thin as a handful of scattered bones.
"Daddy," she suddenly asked in her dream, her voice as tender as a ten-year-old's, "Why do you want to eat?"
Daddy’s figure was a little blurry in the thick smoke. He seemed stunned for a moment before shaking his head tiredly.
"Dad is a doctor, but the world is sick and Dad can't cure it."
As the smoke cleared, she seemed to see her father's face again. The honest pharmacy owner, whose life had been filled with the bitter taste of medicinal herbs, now had a look of dejection and relief.
"Your mother and your brother... I can't save them. I can't save anyone in this village either. What's the point of me guarding this dilapidated pharmacy?"
"Having medicine but not being able to live. This is the most painful thing in the world."
The smoke dissipated, but his figure became increasingly faint.
"So when you eat it, it won't be bitter."
If you die, maybe you won’t be cold, hungry, or afraid anymore.
The orphan girl held the medicine packet tightly in her hand.
"Daddy," the girl gritted her teeth and suddenly spoke, "But I don't want to die."
"If you eat it, you will die. Mother and brother became sick and died."
She had faced death her entire life. At the age of ten, she narrowly defeated the plague and the human child. Later, in Medicine King Valley, she wanted to defeat everyone she could heal.
Now, she has won again.
"I want to live." She shouted, loudly to the disappearing figure, "My father, mother, and brother all died in this chaotic world. But I insist on living. Who doesn't suffer when they are alive?"
"But I just want to save those who, like me, want to live."
The girl stopped shouting, with tears in her eyes, lowered her head, and carefully stuffed the packet of arsenic powder into her arms, cherishing it.
"If it's something that can cure illness, it can't be used to commit suicide."
She turned her head and looked at her hands. They were very clean, and her fingertips were still as cold as the pond water.
She thought, these hands have saved people and beaten people, which is a bit embarrassing to say, and... they just kissed someone forcibly.
…
Wait a minute.
Wasn't that right? Wasn't she being forcefully kissed? She suddenly remembered and hurried to correct the chaotic dream.
But this dream became even more chaotic, someone kept shouting in despair,
"Miss Qing!"
I'm afraid he's a lunatic. Who is Miss Qing? Her name isn't that.
The medicine bag in her arms was very hard, it shouldn't be so hard. She touched it with her hand and felt it was warm and cool.
Well, it’s that jade slip.
That's exactly right! The thick smoke and the smell of burnt corpses dissipated at that moment.
The first moment when consciousness returned was warmth.
It was dry, yet warm with a cool, cool fragrance. The bedding was soft, and the bed beneath me was firm and stable.
It's over. This was the first thought that came to her mind.
He actually cured the eyes of this troubled man.
It’s a headache. It’s such a headache.
However, the vein pattern on the ice wall was so ingenious that I couldn't get rid of the habit of itching to try it out and being excited about the prey even after seven years.
Just ask yourself, what self-conceited carpenter in the world could pass by the door of Lu Ban’s ancestor and resist going up to him and swinging his axe a few times?
Therefore, she could not hide, and had to lift her heavy eyelids with great effort. Her vision was a little blurry, and she could only see a familiar black color.
The young man in black was sitting beside the couch, like a silent, solitary mountain. He held her hand tightly, as if she were the last spark of fire about to fall from the edge of a cliff.
The peach blossom eyes that were once covered with a thick film of ice were now clear and bright, as if all the dust had been washed away by the water of a cold pond, revealing the glass-like background underneath.
It is like a famous masterpiece, which skillfully cuts out a pool of pure and fragrant water, and then uses rouge to paint it beautifully before the eyes.
Why was it so red? She realized that the beautiful eyes that had lost their ice were now filled with tears.
Suddenly the bright moon opened the door to the sky, and the flowing water moved the sinking stars.
It wasn't a thunderous howl, nor was it a sob of grievance. He just sat there quietly, his back straight, his face completely devoid of expression, devoid of any change.
Only tears, like pearls with broken strings, rolled down from the long and curled eyelashes one after another without any warning, crossed the pale cheeks, and finally sank into the black collar, disappearing without a trace.
The most calculating mind and the most eloquent lips in the world seemed to be completely useless at this moment. He just stood beside her like this, desperate, and kept shedding tears.
My goodness, it really is a ghost.
She, Qing Guiyu, was almost frozen into a popsicle in the Eternal Cold Pond and barely managed to survive.
When she woke up, before she could even cry out for justice, she saw the culprit she had saved, holding her hand and crying bitterly, her heart broken.
Is there any justice in this world?
She had seen him act pitiful, seen him have an attack, but she had never seen him like this.
She moved her stiff fingers, trying to pull her hand back and curse him at the same time.
But just as she moved, the expression on the beautiful face in front of me, which was crying so pitifully, suddenly changed.
It's like a mechanism.
The tears welling up in his eyes suddenly stopped.
Shen Juansheng suddenly pulled her hand back and raised his head. His eyes, which were clear enough to reflect her reflection, locked onto her tightly.
In an instant, the air around seemed to be filtered clean.
The remaining fear quickly condensed in his eyes, rolled up, and fell, eventually turning into a kind of crazy and paranoid violence.
"You're awake."
He didn't say a question.
Qing Guiyu felt uneasy when he looked at her, and subconsciously wanted to pull her hand back, "Let go first."
That's the sentence.
She only felt a surge of force, and her whole body was lifted up from the soft bedding and pressed back onto the bed.
Young Master Jin Sheng leaned forward, his arms resting on either side of her body, completely shrouding her in his tall, slender shadow. His scattered black hair drooped and brushed against her cheek, bringing a cool, itchy feeling, as if being licked by countless snakes.
He was like a sharp blade drawn from its sheath. The sadness that had just lingered in his heart was gone, leaving only a chilling sharpness and determination.
"you……"
Qing Guiyu was so shocked by this sudden change that his mind went blank and the hairs on his body stood up.
That hand, with distinct joints, was slender and beautiful, but at this moment, it was pressing her warm carotid artery with its cold fingertips. She could clearly feel every violent beat of her pulse.
The gold wire wrapped around her wrist gleamed coldly in the morning light, its sharp edges almost cutting her skin.
He didn't use any force, just holding it lightly, but it was enough to make people feel suffocated.
"Miss Qing."
Young Master Jin Sheng looked down at her, his tear-stained face clearly revealing a violent look.
"You fell. Right in front of me... you fell."
He accused desperately, his black hair hanging down with the golden thread, like a net woven of beauty and danger, trapping her tightly.
Cold water drops fell on her face, and the two eyes that were still shedding tears, surprisingly clear, were now close to her.
"If you dare to..." The young man leaned forward, speaking slowly, as if gritting his teeth.
"If you dare to risk your life again like you did this time... or try... I will..."
Qing Guiyu was pressed down by him and struggled instinctively, but he pressed her even tighter and she couldn't move.
The familiar, nameless anger of being treated like a chess piece and being played around with suddenly rose up again.
"What's wrong with you?" She also got angry, raised her face, and felt funny in her heart.
"Kill me? Shen Tianji, you are really not afraid of death now."
The engraving stopped, and those beautiful eyes were filled with pain. The hand that was strangling her throat began to tremble violently.
He almost wanted to kill her.
No, he wanted to kill the man who would not hesitate to take risks to save others.
He wanted to lock her up tightly, hide her away, make her belong to him alone, and never put her in danger for anyone else again.
“…I will…”
It seemed as if he still wanted to say something harsh, to threaten her, to intimidate her, to trap her so that she could never step out of this room again.
The words seemed to swim back and forth, but he still couldn't finish the threat.
The hand that was strangling her throat suddenly loosened and instead tightly grasped the quilt on her side.
Young Master Jin Sheng leaned over and buried his face deeply in her neck, his cold tears instantly soaking her clothes.
The whole body was shaking violently, like a poisonous snake that finally found a place to stay when it was on the verge of death.
He dared not bite or injure it, so he could only use all his strength to wrap his cold body tightly around it.
"...I have no choice..." He finally finished the sentence, his voice muffled.
"Miss Qing, I really... have no other options."
Qing Guiyu's body was stiff and motionless.
There were cold tears on her neck, which soaked the anger in her heart, which would sometimes come out and sometimes go away.
I really owed him in my previous life.
No matter how you look at it, she's the one who loses.
She was bitten by a dog and was about to swing a stick, but the dog whimpered and hit itself against the wall, its head broken and bleeding. It turned its head and looked at her with a pair of wet eyes, asking if it hurt.
What could she do? She was desperate too.
He cursed this troublesome venomous snake over and over again in his heart, but finally he sighed resignedly, raised his hand, and patted his trembling back with a somewhat stiff hand.
"That's enough," she said unhappily, "I'm not dead, and neither are you. Why are you crying? It's bad luck."
The person in her arms stiffened, and after a long time, he slowly raised his head from the side of her neck.
"Get up," she urged.
He doesn't move.
"I'll count to three," Qing Guiyu said impatiently, "If you don't get up, well, I'll find a way to leave."
As soon as he finished speaking, the young man on his body trembled violently.
That pale and beautiful face was now full of tear marks, and her eyes were very red. She looked both embarrassed and pitiful.
He looked at her, wanting to say something but remaining silent.
"I..." Finally, he lowered his head and said slowly and hesitantly, "I... I didn't... mean it..."
"I know." Qing Guiyu interrupted him expressionlessly, "If you did this on purpose, I would be dead now."
Young Master Jin Sheng stepped back silently, sat back down beside the couch, lowered his head, and said nothing.
But that hand still stubbornly held her wrist tightly.
Qing Guiyu was too lazy to argue with him and let him hold her while he propped himself up and sat up. He felt as if all the bones in his body were falling apart and then being put back together again.
"Hold out your hands," she ordered.
Shen Juansheng hesitated for a moment, but still stretched out his wrist obediently.
She placed her fingertips on his pulse, which was still chaotic, but much more stable than when he was at the bottom of the pool. The aftermath of the cold poison's collision with his Qi and blood was still there, but it hadn't gotten any worse.
"How long have I been unconscious?" she asked, rubbing her still heavy forehead.
"One day and one night." Shen Juansheng answered gently beside him, but with a slightly hoarse tone.
He stood up, walked to the table, poured a cup of warm water, and walked back to her lips. His movements were smooth and natural, without any hesitation.
A pair of eyes that can see is really convenient.
It was convenient for Master Jinsheng to keep an eye on her all the time.
Qing Guiyu wanted to slap himself, but he felt uncomfortable being stared at by him. Holding his breath, he reached out to take the cup of water and drank it in one gulp. Only then did he feel the burning sensation in his throat ease a little.
"I'm hungry." She handed the water cup back to him and said confidently.
She saved his eyes and nearly spared her own life, so it was only natural for her to have a meal with him.
"Yeah." Shen Juansheng nodded, and finally a faint smile appeared on his face, "I asked someone to prepare porridge."
He turned and went out, and soon came back with a bowl of steaming meat porridge.
The porridge was cooked very soft, the minced meat was chopped finely, and sprinkled with some dried scallops and chopped green onions, giving off a pleasant aroma.
Chen Juansheng walked to the couch and sat down beside her, holding the bowl in one hand and the spoon in the other. He scooped a spoonful, blew on it, and handed it to her mouth.
"What are you doing?" Qing Guiyu frowned.
"...It's dark in the room," he said, lowering his eyelashes softly, "I'm afraid you won't be able to see clearly and get burned."
Nonsense. His own eyesight was just fine. The room was brightly lit by candlelight.
This eloquent and cunning Master Jinsheng was too lazy to even tell a single lie.
Qing Guiyu looked at him and felt that Tianji was so unpredictable that it was indeed the most unpredictable martial art in the world.
"I can do it." Qing Guiyu reached out to take it.
Chen Juansheng silently pushed the spoon forward again, and looked at her with his clear and bright peach blossom eyes, without saying a word, as if silently begging.
Qing Guiyu looked into those eyes for a moment.
In the end, he was defeated and opened his mouth.
It's her favorite flavor. It's so infuriating.
She complained in her heart, but she kept talking, finishing the bowl of porridge in a few mouthfuls. She felt warmer and had some strength.
But the awkward feeling in her heart did not disappear at all.
She looked at the young man in front of her. His eyes, which had just been crying violently, were now red and swollen, but washed by tears and were as clear as two pieces of black jade dipped in a clear spring.
There were still drops of water hanging on his eyelashes, trembling slightly with his gentle breathing.
It’s really... a sin.
"That's enough," she said, her voice a little dry, unable to resist caring about other people.
"Don't cry, don't cry. Your eyes have just healed. If you cry again, do you really not want it anymore?"
As soon as he finished speaking, the young man's long eyelashes trembled violently.
Shen Juansheng seemed to be startled by her words, a look of panic appeared on his face, and he asked tentatively:
"Is it... that crying is not pretty?"
Fortunately, she finished the porridge and did not choke to death on the spot.
Qing Guiyu almost wanted to sneer and say, "Yeah, it's so ugly, like a water-soaked ghost," so that he could quickly put away his lifeless look.
But when the words were on the tip of his tongue, he stopped abruptly when he met those clear and nervous eyes.
She has never been able to go against her conscience in front of this face.
Confused, with a struggle between conscience and desire, all the internal organs were fighting with each other.
In the end, he could only squeeze out a few words from between his teeth, feeling very discouraged.
"……good."
After saying that, I wanted to bite off my tongue.
I was afraid that he would have a strange reaction, so I quickly changed my words.
"Jade slip, jade slip, jade slip,"
She tried to pull the young man out of the strange atmosphere. She had gone to great lengths to retrieve something, nearly risking her life, so she couldn't just forget about it.
Qing Guiyu reached into her arms without thinking.
Then, the whole person froze there.
What her fingertips touched was not her usual blue cloth, made of rough but comfortable material, but a kind of, um? A smooth, cool, and incredibly soft touch.
She lowered her head.
She wore an emerald green silk dress, the collar and cuffs of which were woven with fine silver thread, densely woven with patterns of honeysuckle, which shone softly and luxuriously in the candlelight. The fabric was light, yet incredibly warm, and clung to her body like nothing.
She didn't recognize this material. What kind of luxury item was this that could only be found in the imperial palace?
It was so gorgeous that it could instantly suppress her into the ice coffin.
"Where are my clothes?!" She suddenly looked up and glared at the culprit in front of her who had just become in a good mood.
Shen Juansheng seemed startled by her sudden anger, and his face suddenly turned red.
"Miss Qing caught a cold in the pond, and her clothes were soaked. Sleeping in them would be bad for her health."
Young Master Jinsheng explained to her in a soft voice, which was reasonable and flawless.
"Who changed it?" Qing Guiyu asked through gritted teeth. This made her even more angry than being forcefully kissed.
When had she, a wandering doctor, ever worn something so delicate? Wearing this, she would trip over herself if she ran even a few steps, let alone fight.
A suspicious look of hesitation appeared on Shen Juansheng's face.
The mastermind of the strategist was silent for a moment, as if he was quickly weighing the options and struggling to choose his words.
Finally, he turned his eyes away and told the most absurd lie in this hesitant tone.
"…when I was still blind."
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