But he didn't dare say that.
Lin Lu didn't care about that and asked, "Are these certificates yours?"
Isn't this nonsense? Lin Jingbei's name is written on it.
However, it's a bit funny to look at the contents of the certificate carefully. There are words like "good boy", "first place", "most popular award in the class", "arm wrestling champion", "most popular award in the class"... It's such a mess.
Lin Jingbei was speechless when he saw this. Why did his grandmother keep all these things?
Lin Lu saw something that looked like an envelope. There was a big, scribbled-out heart on the cover, and a letter to her mother was written on it.
Written for yourself?
Lin Lu asked, flipping through the envelope: "Can I see it?"
The nerves were touched by the needle tip, and the synaptic transmission allowed Lin Jingbei to instantly recall the contents of the letter.
——That was the first time I learned to write a letter in fourth or fifth grade.
The teacher asked them to write to the person they thought was most special, so he wrote this letter, a letter that no one had ever seen.
Lin Jingbei nodded, but turned and ran away.
The voice still lingered in the room: "I'm going to help my dad light a fire."
Lin Lu opened the letter and began to read.
It begins with——
Dear (crossed out)
No dear mother,
Hello:
I am Lin Jingbei, a child you don’t like.
Today the teacher asked us to write a letter to the most special person. At first I wanted to write to my grandparents, or my father, because they are the people I love the most.
In the end, I changed it because the teacher was talking about the most special person, and it seemed like you were the most special person to me, a mother whom I loved very much and hated very much.
I used to long to see you every day because everyone said you were very smart and the smartest person in the village.
Dad said you are the most beautiful and kindest person.
It seems like everyone is saying good things about you.
So I'm eager to see you.
I often fantasize about your appearance. You should be the most beautiful mother in the world. After all, I am the most beautiful Lin Jingbei in the world.
But you never came back to see me, you didn’t miss me at all, you’re not good-looking (crossed out), kind at all.
That time, I begged my father to take me to find you. I was excited all the way, imagining the scene of seeing you.
They are right, you are really beautiful. I recognized you in the crowd at first sight. You are the mother I imagined you to be.
But you didn't seem to like me at all. You didn't know that it was my birthday. You didn't hug me and you were not happy that I came.
I am very sad that my mother doesn't love me.
But Dad said that you were in a bad mood and didn’t mean to not smile at me.
But I know you don't like me, I can see it.
I was very angry and I cried a lot.
I don't want to look for you anymore after I go home.
I told my grandma that I hated you, but actually I wanted her to write to you and come back to comfort me, but you never came back.
No, you're back.
But not in the way I hoped.
You lay on the hospital bed without a smile on your face. You neither cried to me nor smiled at me.
I hate you so much, Mom.
But I love you too.
Let me tell you a secret. I secretly went to see you when my grandparents and dad were not at home.
I said a lot to you, I don't know if you heard it.
I said I love you and I hate you.
Mom, if you could wake up right away, I would forgive you.
If you don’t wake up, I will ignore you and ask my dad to find me a new mother (crossed out).
Well, Dad definitely won’t look for you. I talked to him the other day but he ignored me. He seems to only care about you.
Mom, please wake up soon. I think Dad is going crazy (crossed out).
He hadn't spoken to us for two days, and I saw his ears were bleeding.
If you can hear me, please wake up right away. Dad needs you, and I need you too.
Signature:
Your son Lin Jingbei.
Sincerely,
Good health.
Lin Lu's hand holding the letter was trembling slightly, and she heard Song Chen's voice asking her to go over and warm herself by the fire.
"Here it comes." His voice was slightly hoarse, and his nasal cavity seemed to be blocked by cement.
It took me a long time to calm down before I went out.
Lin Jingbei only remembered the general outline of what he had written, and he certainly didn't remember what specific words were written in it.
But even the part he remembered made him feel extremely embarrassed.
When Lin Lu came out, Song Chen noticed the tip of her slightly red nose.
Based on the observation skills he had developed during his years in the army, he could probably guess why.
He must have felt sorry for his son when he saw his old things.
Sometimes he was quite tactful and didn't ask Lin Lu why she was crying in front of the child.
He pulled her to sit next to him and told the people around him, "Go grab some candy and melon seeds and eat them."
There is no entertainment here, and it would be too boring to just sit by the fire.
Lin Jingbei received the order and ran to his second uncle's house to get something.
After his son left, Song Chen patted her on the back and comforted her: "Don't feel guilty. You have been good enough to him."
Lin Lu sniffed and said, "I don't feel guilty. I just got emotional for a moment."
She has done everything she should do, and she really can't decide anything else.
Maybe she was never a good mother in her life.
Song Chen propped up his chin and smiled at her: "This is my wife."
Lin Lu asked him a few more questions about his ears, and the man's answer was the same as what he said in Shanghai.
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