Chapter 185 In the Name of Love
Suman sat in the cafe for an afternoon.
All the life experiences of the past forty years, both good and bad, emerged before my eyes one by one.
The most visible part of the screen was Gu Sinan's face which was full of madness.
She used to have a wealthy family, loving parents, and a handsome boyfriend. If nothing unexpected happened, she would marry Ji Xiuci with her parents' blessings and live a happy life.
But why was it ruined by Gu Sinan?
If Gu Sinan had never appeared in her life, she wouldn't be so miserable now.
Su Man leaned back in her chair, staring blankly at the people coming and going outside the window. Tears quietly rolled down her cheeks, but she no longer had the energy to wipe them away.
In order to reassure Ji Xiuci, she locked herself up in Ji's house during this period. Sometimes she thought, what is the difference between Ji Xiuci and Gu Sinan back then? Similarly, restricting her freedom in the name of love.
However, this is her choice, and she has to go on no matter what.
Is she going to go back to Gu Sinan? She had finally escaped from him. What a joke it would be to tell her that it was wrong to do so?
When she finally calmed down and returned to Ji's house, it was already late and the first floor of the villa was pitch black. Su Man thought everyone had gone to bed, so she pressed the light switch while changing her shoes.
"Ah!" Su Man was startled by Ji Xiuci who was sitting on the sofa.
She patted her chest and asked, "Why don't you turn on the light and sit in the living room? Where are Aunt Wu and the others?"
Ji Xiuci did not answer her question, but asked coldly: "You went out today?"
"Yeah." Su Man pretended to be calm, "I've been staying at home for so many days, I feel a little bored, so I went out for a walk."
As for the matter between Chi Beibei and Gu Yanchuan, it’s better not to tell him.
Ji Xiuci hated that child so much that there was no way he would help her break up Chi Beibei and Gu Yanchuan. He might even take the opportunity to make wild guesses.
"I'll go upstairs first. You should go to bed early too." Su Man walked towards the stairs.
Not long after she and Ji Xiuci got married, they started sleeping in separate beds. She didn't care about his impotence, and it was fine even if they just slept in each other's arms. But he always thought that she felt sorry for him and despised him, and that she was thinking about Gu Sinan.
They obviously had a very good relationship in college, and no one knows when they can get back to the way they were before.
As soon as he stepped onto the stairs, Ji Xiuci's emotionless voice sounded behind him: "Have you contacted Gu Sinan?"
Su Man froze and stood still. She didn't dare to look back and tried to answer in a normal tone: "How could it be? I haven't seen him since the last banquet."
"You texted him, didn't you?"
As she finished speaking, a chill rose from the soles of Su Man's feet. She had just sent a text message to Gu Sinan in the afternoon, and Ji Xiuci got the news so quickly.
She turned around and asked in a trembling voice, "Are you spying on me?"
Ji Xiuci stood up suddenly, his expression cold: "If I didn't monitor your phone, how would I know that you were still in contact with your ex-husband! After all these years, you still remember his phone number!"
Looking at her slightly red and swollen eyes, Ji Xiuci almost lost control of his anger. Was she crying for the whole afternoon because she remembered Gu Sinan’s kindness? How reluctant was she to see him, coming back so late?
"You want to go back to Gu Sinan, right? I know you have never forgotten him!"
Hearing this, Su Man's legs went weak and she almost fell on the stairs. Could it be that Ji Xiuci had never believed in her? She left the Gu family and married him regardless of everything. Doesn't that prove her true feelings?
Why did he always think that she would return to Gu Sinan?
Su Man grabbed the handrail of the stairs and explained weakly: "I just asked him to take care of Gu Yanchuan."
Ji Xiuci was instantly furious: "Gu Yanchuan is Gu Sinan's son, do you need to care about him?"
"He is my son too."
Ji Xiuci blurted out: "So you have been lying to me all along, right?"
Su Man's voice was very soft, almost hoarse: "What did I lie to you about?"
"You said that Gu Yanchuan was the child that Gu Sinan forced you to give birth to. You hated him, so why do you still care about him now?"
Su Man covered her ears and screamed, "Stop talking!"
"That's right, you and Gu Sinan even have a child, how could you not have any feelings for each other?" Ji Xiuci laughed at himself, "I really wronged you to act beside me all these years."
"No! I don't!" Su Man slumped down on the stairs, grabbing her hair like crazy, "I can't possibly like Gu Sinan. He ruined my life. How can I love him?"
"Then prove it to me and stop contacting that father and son."
Su Man raised her eyes and looked at him, her bright and affectionate eyes filled with tears: "Why are you so cruel?"
Hasn't she done enough? She has refused to see the child all these years, and now she just doesn't want the child to go astray. Is that not possible?
Ji Xiuci stared at her straight, his eyes gradually darkening.
She was wearing an off-shoulder top, and he could easily look down at her plump legs. The high-waisted fishtail skirt showed off her graceful curves better, adding a bit of mature and adult air to her compared to her campus days.
Her disheveled black hair and tearful face made her look particularly pitiful.
He felt hot inside, as if a wild beast was roaring, but his body showed no reaction.
Why? Why couldn't he possess such a beautiful girl? Why did God insist that he be a useless person?
She and Gu Sinan have been together for so many years and have a child. Even though Gu Sinan once used despicable means, he is a normal man and he still loves her very much.
The Gu family is no less powerful than the Ji family, so why did Su Man choose him?
She should have regretted it a long time ago, right?
Has she been trying to find a way to leave him?
Send text messages today, what about tomorrow? We should call tomorrow and meet the day after tomorrow, right?
Su Man burst into tears, her tone was heartbreaking: "Gu Yanchuan is my child."
Hearing this, Ji Xiuci squatted down, hugged her, and said, "Manman, I'm just afraid of losing you."
He knew that this was cruel, but Gu Yanchuan was her and Gu Sinan's child, and Gu Sinan loved her madly. He couldn't let Gu Sinan use the child as an excuse to trick her back again.
No matter whether she is sincere or not, since she married him, she can't leave!
"Why don't you believe me?" Su Man cried and beat Ji Xiuci, but Ji Xiuci said nothing. All she wanted were the three words "I believe you".
After a long while, Ji Xiuci said in a muffled voice: "I'm sorry."
Su Man's hands fell limply at her sides. She suddenly realized that no matter how she deceived herself, she and Ji Xiuci might never be able to go back to the way they were before.
Once trust is broken, it can never be restored.
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