Cheng Muyun stared intently at the envelope in his hand.
“Zhuohua has returned to Dongzhou.” His voice was hoarse, as if it had been sanded. “She wants to check the accounts and inventory the warehouses of every transit station on the line. I couldn’t stop her.”
Xu Jixin abruptly stood up from the armchair, spilling half a cup of cold tea into a dark red trail on the blue bricks. "I just finished a round trip with my men! What else could she be doing?"
Xu Shi Nong raised her hand and pressed down on her son's trembling shoulder. The warmth of her palm passed through the brocade robe, but it couldn't soothe his tense back.
“She wants to revise the escort regulations, saying the old rules have drawbacks.” Xu Shinong’s gaze swept over Cheng Muyun’s suddenly pale face, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed a sigh.
Cheng Muyun was somewhat puzzled, "Since when did Zhuohua start wanting to manage these things? Isn't Xu Jixin in charge of everything on the East-South route?"
Xu Jixin said, "That's right, Father, why are you handing everything over to Zhuohua now?"
Xu Shinong held her forehead. "It wasn't me who handed it over to Zhuohua. Zhuohua insisted on taking charge herself. After she finished organizing the southern route to the east, she still wanted to go to Beiping. She said all of this herself."
Xu Jixin slammed his hand on the table. "How can that be? Even our eldest brother can't handle things up north, how can Zhuohua, a girl, cope?"
Xu Shi Nong said, "Zhuo Hua knows what she's doing. She'll only stay in Beiping and won't participate in the tour. She won't return until May."
Xu Jixin asked, "Father, what did Zhuohua say to you? How did she convince you to let her take the risk for so long and do such a dangerous thing?"
Xu Shinong glanced at Cheng Muyun, whose head was bathed in the morning light, and who was clutching an envelope tightly in his hand.
Xu Shinong lowered his eyes and stared at the winding ink lines on the route map, his fingertips unconsciously tracing the vermilion dot marking Dongzhou, his eyes filled with helplessness.
The morning light brushed past the frost on his temples, weaving a hazy halo in the cold mist of the teacup, much like the shimmering tears in Xu Zhuohua's eyes before he left.
Cheng Muyun's knuckles turned white as he gripped the envelope, the edges of the kraft paper digging deeply into his palm.
She said that they should strive for other possibilities for their future.
Xu Jixin frowned and asked, "What do you mean?"
A gust of wind lifted Cheng Muyun's loose hair, revealing the bluish corners of his eyes.
When he looked up, he was met with the deep, loving gaze in Xu Shih-nong's eyes, a gaze that held a knowing compassion that seemed to see through everything, like a dull knife slowly carving into his heart.
The morning light pierced through the frost at Xu Shinong's temples, weaving a fine net between them, enveloping the unspoken truth within.
Cheng Muyun suddenly understood the tenderness Xu Zhuohua showed when her fingertips brushed his eyebrows and eyes last night—it was the warmth of farewell.
Ta also learned of Xu Zhuohua's choice.
She wanted him to marry Luo Yunqiao and to have a spotless reputation, but she herself didn't want to stay in this doomed predicament.
The envelope in my palm was already soaked with cold sweat; the rough texture of the kraft paper was etched into my skin like a scar that would never heal.
Cheng Muyun's eyelashes trembled violently, and tears streamed down his chin and into his clothes, leaving dark stains on the moon-white silk.
He could hear his own heart pounding deafeningly, each beat questioning: Why must I leave in such a drastic way?
The creaking of the door hinges as they turned filled the room, and the aroma of tea suddenly became pungent, fading away at the end of the corridor as the father and son departed.
The study fell into a deathly silence, with only the copper bells on the eaves ringing softly in the wind.
Cheng Muyun gazed at the setting sun outside the window. The morning light had lost its warmth and was like a poisoned silver needle, piercing straight into his eyes.
With trembling hands, he used his dagger to pry open the wax seal. The moment the letter was unfolded, the familiar scent of ink, mixed with the salty smell of the river wind, wafted over him. All those unspoken words were finally transformed into trembling handwriting on the letter.
Xu Zhuohua's handwriting was always messy because she wasn't used to using a brush pen, and even later, the letters she wrote with a fountain pen were still messy.
This letter, though written with a fountain pen, was extremely messy and illegible, clearly indicating that the writer was in a hurry.
“
Dear Cheng Muyun:
By the time you read this letter, I may already be on the Yangtze River. The morning mist has not yet dissipated, and the first rays of dawn pierce through the clouds, scattering golden light across the river's surface. In the shimmering waves, sails billow and propel the boats forward.
The view must be beautiful right now, but unfortunately I probably have no heart to appreciate it.
My hand is trembling as I write these words. The ink in the inkstone is blurred by my tears, just like my chaotic thoughts right now. I'm sorry, I ultimately chose this selfish and cowardly way to say goodbye, I don't even have the courage to face you.
When I said those words, "Let you marry Luo Yunqiao," the pain was so intense it almost overwhelmed me. How could I not know that you only have eyes for me, and how could I possibly want to push you away to someone else?
But fear overwhelmed me like a tidal wave. I admit, I was unwilling and resisted this decision from the bottom of my heart.
I was jealous, so I ran away.
Because I know even better that only by relying on the Luo family's power can I ensure your safety. A tall tree catches the wind; countless eyes are watching you from the shadows, and the slightest misstep could lead to utter ruin.
We both know how to choose.
This is a decision I made after thinking about it all night, and I hope you understand.
Master Yunxu said that I should not be your wife, and I have no reason to die. So I have come to terms with it. You should marry Luo Yunqiao. Although it is only a temporary measure, if I really die, you will still have someone by your side.
But your heart must remain with me, because my departure is to give you hope for survival. In case you are still being hunted down next year, there are many places along the east-south and east-north routes where you can hide.
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