She could almost see the future: walking on the new streets, watching the flags fluttering in the wind, watching the kapok flowers blooming by the roadside, every corner could evoke memories—the roads he had walked with her, the places where he had picked flowers for her.
At that time, how empty will she feel when she thinks of the man who gave his life for all of this?
Without Cheng Muyun, she would probably only be able to live a bitter life, like a plant that has lost the sunlight, slowly withering away.
Those kinds of days are worse than death.
If it were in the past, she might have chosen Cheng Muyun's life without hesitation when faced with the choice between her own future and Cheng Muyun's life.
But now, she hesitated.
It turns out that the "unwavering" attitude in the past was simply because I had never truly reached the point where I needed to make a choice, and I had never tasted the feeling of loving someone so deeply that I was willing to give up everything for them.
Now, the choice is laid bare before her. At this moment when she has to make a decision, she suddenly wants to be willful just once—even just once—to cast aside all responsibility and righteousness and just want to keep the person by her side.
The rooftop was deathly silent, with only the wind gently blowing, swirling up a few delicate pink petals from the flower stand and sending them twirling down.
The old flower stand swayed slightly in the wind, making creaking sounds, as if urging or sighing, forcing Xu Zhuohua to make a choice quickly.
She knew that whether she threw a hysterical tantrum or cried, it would be of no use and would only make Cheng Muyun's situation more difficult.
Xu Zhuohua took a deep breath, slowly clenched her fist, her nails digging deep into her palm, using that sharp pain to force herself to calm down.
Of all those present, only Xu Jixin was still unaware of what was happening. Upon seeing Xiao Wuxin, a genuine smile instantly spread across his face, and his voice became louder: "Zepeng! Why are you back? Minghua came back with you too?"
Xiao Wuxin managed a weak smile, but it didn't reach his eyes, carrying a hint of awkwardness: "Yes, we came by boat together. Minghua has already gone back to the Xu family. I told her to let them know she's safe."
Xu Jixin clapped his hands chuckled, his tone tinged with reproach: "Such a big thing as coming back, why didn't you tell me beforehand? And my brother, you even kept it from me when you brought you back, that's really not fair."
Xiao Wuxin's smile faded slightly, and he lowered his voice, saying, "I'm returning this time to act in secret. I can't be too conspicuous, lest I alert those who are watching me."
Xu Jixin then belatedly frowned, leaned closer, and asked, "Come to think of it, the whole city is hunting you down. With the situation so tense, how dare you risk coming back?"
Xiao Wuxin glanced quickly at Xu Zhuohua, and seeing that she was still sitting there in a daze, her fingertips unconsciously picking at the cracks in the bamboo chair, he turned back and said in a deep voice, "Mu Yun came to see me, saying that he has something important to discuss."
Xu Jixin frowned even more, looking puzzled: "His situation is more complicated than yours right now. He's caught between a rock and a hard place. What could you two possibly have to discuss when you get together?"
Xiao Wuxin opened his mouth, but ultimately didn't say anything, only silently lowering his eyes.
Cheng Muyun remained silent throughout. The palm-leaf fan in his hand was now in his palm, but he didn't wave it anymore. The edge of the fan gently rested against his knee, as if it were bearing some weight.
Xu Jixin looked at this one, then at that one, and finally his gaze fell on Xu Zhuohua—she stared blankly at the ground, not even lifting her eyes when he spoke.
A sudden surge of inexplicable anxiety welled up inside him, and he raised his voice: "What's wrong? You're all stammering, just say it!"
Chen Hede, who had been silent all along, finally spoke, his voice calm to the point of being cruel: "Because of the Dongzhou Army. This force is too powerful and too conspicuous, and has long been the target of everyone's attacks. Cheng Muyun must hand it over to a reliable person before he can leave with peace of mind."
Xu Jixin was completely stunned, his eyes filled with confusion: "What...what does this mean? What does 'leave with peace of mind' mean? Where is he going?"
Chen Hede's gaze swept over the distraught Xu Zhuohua, and he finally uttered the cruelest words: "What I mean is, whether Young Marshal Cheng fights Lan Qingyi now or not, the Dongzhou Army will change hands sooner or later. Xiao Wuxin needs this force to save his life, and even more so, he needs it to support the troops behind him. Judging from the current situation, he must completely defeat Lan Qingyi so that Xiao Wuxin can lead the Dongzhou Army to a safe retreat without any worries."
Xu Jixin's brows furrowed deeper and deeper, and the veins on his forehead throbbed faintly. He clearly didn't fully understand the situation, but he had already sensed the danger.
Chen Hede paused, then continued, each word like a hammer blow to the ground: "But defeating Lan Qingyi, how easy is that? It's almost a life-or-death situation."
"That won't do!" Xu Jixin suddenly exploded, rushing to Cheng Muyun's side, his face flushed with anxiety. "You're the young marshal of the Dongzhou Army. How will you survive without an army? And... and Zhuohua! What will happen to her if anything happens to you?"
Cheng Muyun's gaze slowly shifted to Xu Zhuohua, his eyes swirling with a complex mix of emotions: reluctance, resolve, and an overwhelming sense of guilt.
His Adam's apple bobbed for a long time before he spoke in a low voice, as soft as a breeze: "I've had enough of this life of standing on the edge of danger, living on the edge every day. I just want... I just want to live a few simple days with Zhuohua, working at sunrise and resting at sunset, without having to live in fear anymore."
These words, however, sounded like a dull knife, slowly cutting into Xu Zhuohua's heart.
She knew all too well that this seemingly ordinary wish, spoken at this moment, had become the most unattainable luxury, and also the evidence of his determination to die.
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