13 Thoughts
"I'm fine." Li Zhaoyi looked at his flustered look and couldn't help but smile. "Mr. Shen, thank you. You've been working so hard these past few days."
"I'm glad your majesty is okay. The hard work is nothing." Shen Zhiyuan looked at her face that had regained its color, and the heart that had been hanging in the air for several days finally relaxed. A long-lost smile appeared in his eyes.
Li Zhaoyi looked at his smile and suddenly a surge of courage surged in her heart.
She sat up and looked at Shen Zhiyuan seriously: "Mr. Shen, when my body is completely healed, I have something to say to you."
Shen Zhiyuan was stunned for a moment. Looking at her determined eyes, he suddenly had a premonition. He nodded, his voice a little hoarse: "Okay, I will wait for Your Majesty."
That afternoon, the imperial physician came for a follow-up consultation and said that Li Zhaoyi's health was no longer serious and she would recover after a few more days of rest.
After hearing this, Shen Zhiyuan finally breathed a sigh of relief and returned to the mansion to wash and change his clothes. However, as soon as he returned to the mansion, he couldn't help but worry again. Not long after, he returned to the Yangxin Palace with the freshly cooked porridge.
Li Zhaoyi looked at the porridge he brought, her heart filled with sweetness.
Three years passed by silently like sand flowing through your fingertips.
Li Zhaoyi stood in front of the window of the Yangxin Palace, looking at the lush and leafy sycamore tree outside the window, her heart full of emotion.
Over the past three years, thanks to the joint efforts of her and Shen Zhiyuan, the Xiongnu in the north had already retreated deep into the desert and no longer dared to attack easily.
After the flood in the south, the refugees have returned to their hometowns, rebuilt their homes, and even opened up a lot of fertile land;
Most of the corrupt officials in the court were cleared out, the administration became clean and honest, and the lives of the people gradually improved.
She is no longer the little girl who needs to hide behind Shen Zhiyuan. Now, she can calmly deal with the doubts of officials in the court.
He can make decisive decisions when handling government affairs, and even when faced with emergencies at the border, he can calmly formulate response strategies.
But only she herself knows that all this growth is inseparable from Shen Zhiyuan's companionship and guidance.
Over the past three years, their relationship has become increasingly strained. The rumors have long since died down, and she has shelved the talent show, citing "national priorities."
Shen Zhiyuan no longer deliberately avoided suspicion like before. He would still accompany her to review memorials until late at night, still take good care of her when she was sick, and still patiently guide her when she encountered difficulties.
However, none of them broke the window paper, and they still maintained the relationship between monarch and subject and teacher and student.
However, just when she thought that life would go on peacefully like this, the officials brought up the issue of "offspring" again.
At the court meeting that day, Prime Minister Wang was the first to step out and kneel at the foot of the altar, holding a memorial in his hand: "Your Majesty, our country is now peaceful and the people are living and working in peace and contentment. However, there is one matter that concerns the fate of our country that I must mention.
Your Majesty has been on the throne for three years, but he has never appointed a queen or chosen a concubine, and he still has no children.
If something were to happen to Your Majesty, the country would be left without a legitimate successor. Therefore, Your Majesty is requested to choose a son of the royal family as your heir, or select a good son-in-law to fill the harem and strengthen the foundation of the country!"
As soon as he finished speaking, other ministers echoed him. Some said, "Among the royal family members, the third prince's son, Li Xuan, is extremely intelligent and can be made the crown prince."
Some said, "Among the young men from aristocratic families, many have good character and appearance, and can be chosen as your Majesty's husbands." Others said, "As a woman, your Majesty's greatest contribution to the country is to give birth to a child."
Li Zhaoyi sat on the dragon throne, listening to these words, feeling a sense of irony. Three years ago, they questioned her that "a woman ruling is not in accordance with the will of heaven";
Three years later, they acknowledged her ability, but began to control her "belly". In their eyes, as an emperor, she still had to rely on "offspring" to maintain her position.
"Prime Minister Wang," Li Zhaoyi's voice was calm, yet with a barely perceptible chill, "I have been on the throne for three years, working diligently for the country and the people, striving for their well-being.
Now that the country is growing stronger and the people are living in peace and contentment, isn't this my contribution to the country? Why do you have to use 'offspring' to measure my worth?"
"Your Majesty, please calm down!" Prime Minister Wang kowtowed hurriedly, "I am not questioning your Majesty's contributions, but the country needs a legitimate successor, this is an eternal truth.
If Your Majesty has no offspring, it will be difficult to win the hearts and minds of the people, and it will be difficult to cope with the changes both inside and outside the court!"
"My kingdom is protected by my own ability, not by my 'offspring'."
Li Zhaoyi's voice rose a little, "As for the successor, I am still young, there is no need to rush this matter.
I believe that the most important thing right now is to continue implementing the new policies and make life better for the people, rather than worrying about the issue of my offspring!"
"Your Majesty!" Another senior official also knelt. "This matter concerns the fate of our nation. We implore Your Majesty to reconsider! If Your Majesty insists on not agreeing, we will kneel until Your Majesty agrees!"
As he spoke, he actually knelt on the ground, refusing to get up. The other ministers followed suit, kneeling at the foot of the altar, and shouting in unison, "Your Majesty, please reconsider!"
Li Zhaoyi looked at the densely packed heads below and felt powerless.
She knew that these ministers were also thinking about the country, but they did not understand that what she wanted was not a royal family member or a noble family master, but someone who could accompany her to see the country and work on state affairs together.
"I have made up my mind. We will discuss this matter later. Let's adjourn the court!" After Li Zhaoyi finished speaking, she stood up, left the dragon throne, and walked out of the hall quickly.
She didn't want to argue with these ministers anymore, nor did she want to listen to them talk about their "offspring" issue anymore.
After returning to the Yangxin Palace, Li Zhaoyi sat at the desk, looking at the sycamore tree outside the window, her heart full of grievances and unwillingness.
She picked up the memorial on the table, but could not read a single word. The words of the ministers at the court meeting kept replaying in her mind.
"Your Majesty, Lord Shen requests an audience." The eunuch's voice interrupted her thoughts.
Li Zhaoyi was delighted and said quickly, "Please invite him in."
Shen Zhiyuan walked in and bowed, “Your Majesty.”
"Mr. Shen, you're here." Li Zhaoyi quickly stood up and walked in front of him, with a hint of grievance in her tone, "Have you heard everything?"
Shen Zhiyuan nodded. Seeing her dejected look, he felt distressed. "I heard everything outside the palace. Your Majesty, please don't take it to heart. The ministers are also thinking about the country."
"I know they are doing this for the country, but why can't they understand me?" Li Zhaoyi's voice was choked with sobs.
"What I want is not an heir, not an heir, but..."
She didn't finish her words, but her eyes were red. She wanted to say that what she wanted was him, the chance to spend her life with him.
But she still held back, she knew that now was not the time to speak.
Shen Zhiyuan looked at her red eyes, and his heart felt like being pricked by a needle.
He wanted to comfort her, but he didn't know what to say. He knew that the Majesty's grievances and unwillingness were all because of him.
If he could be braver, if they could break through that layer of window paper earlier, perhaps His Majesty would not be so embarrassed.
"Your Majesty," Shen Zhiyuan was silent for a moment and said softly,
"Regarding the issue of heirs, the ministers do have a point. The country truly needs an heir. Your Majesty... perhaps you could consider their suggestions."
Li Zhaoyi was stunned. She looked at Shen Zhiyuan and couldn't believe her ears.
She thought Shen Zhiyuan would stand on her side and understand her feelings, but she didn't expect that he would also advise her to consider the issue of "offspring".
"Mr. Shen, do you think so too?" Her voice trembled slightly, and her heart was full of disappointment and sadness.
Shen Zhiyuan looked at her hurt eyes and felt a pang of pain in his heart.
He wanted to say no, wanted to say that he didn't want her to marry anyone else, wanted to say that he wanted to be her husband, but he couldn't. He was a subject, she was the monarch, and the gap in their status was an insurmountable chasm.
He cannot let His Majesty fall into greater difficulties because of his own selfish desires, nor can he let the country be in turmoil because of their feelings.
"Your Majesty, I just feel that this matter concerns the fate of the country, and Your Majesty should consider it carefully." Shen Zhiyuan avoided her gaze, his voice a little hoarse, "I still have official business to attend to, so I will take my leave first."
After saying this, he turned around and walked out of the Yangxin Palace quickly, not daring to look Li Zhaoyi in the eye again.
He was afraid that if he took another look at her, he would not be able to help but tell her what was in his heart, and he would hug her in his arms regardless of everything.
Li Zhaoyi looked at Shen Zhiyuan's resolute back and couldn't help but shed tears. She thought that Shen Zhiyuan understood her and was in tune with her.
But now she realized that there was still an insurmountable gap between them.
She sat at the desk, watching the setting sun outside the window, her heart filled with despair.
Is it true that she can only be a lonely emperor in this life and can only give up her own feelings for the sake of the country?
Could it be that she and Shen Zhiyuan could only be king and subject, teacher and student, and could never be lifelong partners?
She didn't know the answer, nor did she dare to think about it. She only knew that at this moment, she was really sad and lonely.
The afterglow of the setting sun shone through the window lattices of the Hall of Mental Cultivation, casting long shadows on the ground. The candles in the hall had not yet been lit, and the air was filled with a depressing dullness.
Li Zhaoyi sat at the desk, her fingertips repeatedly stroking the cover of the memorial. Her mind was filled with Shen Zhiyuan's resolute back when he left during the day. Her heart seemed to be blocked by something, and even breathing hurt.
She thought Shen Zhiyuan would understand her, understand her resistance to those discussions about "offspring", and understand the unspoken expectations hidden in her heart.
But not only did he not understand, but like those ministers, he advised her to "consider carefully." It turned out that in his heart, her status as emperor was more important than her as a person.
"Your Majesty, Lord Shen requests an audience." The eunuch's voice sounded again, interrupting her thoughts.
Li Zhaoyi's heart leaped, then sank. She thought he wouldn't come again, but she didn't expect him to come anyway.
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