Chapter 38 with Li Songniang, step on me.
Are you upset that I didn't come looking for you after I left the Qin residence?
They were still embracing each other that day, just as his despicable desires arose.
If Tao Qingyang hadn't sent his mother to the door unexpectedly, he might have been lucky enough to get a kiss.
Damn Tao Qingyang!
If he hadn't deliberately instructed the city defense troops to obstruct him time and time again, he wouldn't have been unable to see her for so long.
He racked his brains to find a reason to convince himself what he had done wrong.
Why did she suddenly choose Lu Youchuan?
It's all Lu Youchuan's fault! It's all Lu Youchuan's fault!
He's a wicked scoundrel! He seduced her at the palace banquet that day! He must have lied to her! It must be him!
How dare they ruin her... her innocence!
Li Yu gripped the carriage curtain tighter and tighter, her tear-streaked face hardening with a hint of fierceness.
“Lu Youchuan is not allowed. He and Elder Qin are sworn enemies. You will not have a good outcome.”
Qin Song seemed to have never seen such a stubborn and broken expression on Li Yu's face before. To be honest, she was a little tempted, and even wanted to lick the corner of his downturned lips.
She pursed her lips and replied directly, "I know."
"Then, then you... do you like him?" His voice trembled, with a hint of cautious probing.
"I don't know. But I do feel happy when I see him..."
She was happy to see his face, his abs, his body, and she also liked his power.
Similarly, she also liked the person in front of her, his face, his beautiful hands, his ethereal气质, and his gentle and sincere nature.
Before she could finish speaking, Li Yu suddenly interrupted, as if she were sobbing, and, as if eager to prove something, loosened the car curtain and climbed into the car.
"Why...why him? Lu Youchuan is cold and heartless, only wanting to climb to a high position. He is not worth your affection at all."
He knelt at her feet, his usually straight shoulders drooping in frustration, his head tilted back, his eyes blurry with tears as he gazed at the girl in the seat.
It was like begging for the mercy of a goddess.
"I love you too." He uttered his belated feelings with difficulty and despair, "I fell for you the moment I saw you."
When I first met her at Taixu Temple, she was sleeping on a futon, and she was even more captivating than the aloof goddesses in the Taoist temple.
From then on, the fairy who disregarded worldly conventions fell into his unbearably mundane life.
Later, he personally experienced the meaning of the phrase "a glance lasts a thousand years".
In the cramped carriage, in the dim light, a deep affection surged into Qin Song's heart.
She belatedly bent down and lifted his chin, her gaze lingering on his tear-reddened eyes. "Do you really love me?"
Being looked at like that by her brought back a wave of sadness.
Tears welled up and overflowed; Li Yu couldn't help but want to cover her face and cry bitterly.
He was ashamed of his current disheveled state and ashamed of pestering her and putting her in a difficult position.
But how can he control it?
He desperately wanted to be with her, imagining countless futures with her. But the person right in front of him, so close yet so far, chose someone else, and the future they should have had vanished.
But all of this was just his delusion; they actually had no connection whatsoever.
He would have had a chance sooner or later as long as she wasn't married.
But now, it seems he's completely out of the game, with no chance left.
My chest felt like it had been ripped open, and my emotions surged up uncontrollably.
His eyelashes were wet from crying, and his Adam's apple was trembling.
Qin Song's heart stirred slightly.
She discovered that he had caught them in their affair with a slightly perverse excitement.
Since he had already seen it, she felt justified in taking him down; two men were nothing to worry about.
But his tears were so heartbreaking, so full of grievance that it was devastating. Forcing him felt like a defilement.
She moved her fingers up and wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, then patiently asked him, "Did seeing me with someone else disappoint you?"
Perhaps her words were too blunt, for Li Yu's dejected mood was abruptly interrupted. After a long pause, she stammered, "No, I, I..."
Despite his vast knowledge of literature, he didn't know how to answer this question.
Is it disappointment? It doesn't seem so.
But how can it not be called disappointment when hopes are dashed?
But the disappointment wasn't directed at her.
Seeing that he couldn't answer, Qin Song let go of her, sat back up on the cushion, and looked down at him calmly.
"If you've fallen for an innocent person like me, then I'm sorry to disappoint you."
Qin Song called out "Li Yu", "I don't want to lie to you. I like this kind of thing. I don't feel that I am broken or unclean right now. Even if everyone in the world condemns me for having an affair with Lu Youchuan, I will not feel ashamed because it is my own choice and my own body. I did not force him or force myself."
"You... love him that much?" Li Yu couldn't help but cry again.
Qin Song was completely defenseless against his tears. She raised her hand and wiped away his tears again. "I don't know. But if it were you, I would be willing too."
After the sound faded, the carriage fell into a silent stillness.
Li Yu stared at her blankly, as if she had been greatly shocked.
Qin Song knew she had said something shocking again, but she really liked the person in front of her. Who wouldn't like a beautiful person?
Moreover, she never shied away from her physical needs.
She lifted the hem of her skirt, revealing red marks on her ankles. "I'm an adult. I don't think that having these marks on my body proves anything. A woman's skirt doesn't hide any rare treasures. It's just a perfectly normal place for a woman, and we should be able to decide for ourselves. I hate being dominated by worldly opinions."
"But these are all my thoughts, and I won't impose them on you. If you can still look me in the eye, I'd be happy to befriend you. If you can't accept it, it's regrettable, but that's all I can do—"
"Won't."
Warm fingers suddenly touched her ankle, the fingertips with fine calluses pressed against the red marks, and a tear fell onto her ankle bone.
The cool, moist sensation seeped into Qin Song's heart.
Li Yu gently lifted her foot and slowly kissed the area covered in red marks, as if making a devout sacrifice.
"I won't have any opinion about you." He sobbed, and large tears fell onto her ankles.
He swallowed hard, then suddenly buried his face in her knees and burst into tears, unable to hold back his sobs: "I'm just afraid you won't want me."
He had been crying before, but he had been restraining himself. Now, however, he was like a child, lying on her lap, shamelessly revealing his vulnerable side.
Qin Song sat in the carriage seat, her thick cloak draped over her legs, leaving only two layers of not-so-thick cloth skirts clinging to her knees. Tears quickly soaked the hem of her skirt, seeping down the fabric and onto her skin.
Qin Song's gaze faltered slightly. She had taken in eight concubines before, but none of them had shaken her to the core like Li Yu.
She couldn't bear to hurt him at all.
For some reason, her empty space became somewhat damp and sticky.
To be honest, Qin Song was somewhat at a loss.
"Don't cry, if you cry again..." she whispered in his ear, "I won't be able to hold back my tears."
Li Yu gradually stopped crying, raised her head, hurriedly wiped her disheveled face, and asked with a slight nasal tone, "What can't I hold back?"
He asked very seriously, leaving Qin Song both amused and exasperated.
She won't be able to resist taking advantage of him, you idiot!
She shook her head and pinched his still-damp cheek. "I couldn't help... kissing you."
Oh no, her wet cheeks have turned rosy.
Li Yu's face was burning red, but he couldn't bear to look away.
He mustered his courage, stood up slightly, and kissed Qin Songshang's still swollen lips.
He was so innocent; his warm lips touched hers, then parted just as quickly.
He knelt down again, not daring to look her in the eye, and hurriedly fiddled with her skirt, saying, "I'm sorry, I've dirtied your dress."
He raised his sleeve and frantically wiped the hem of his skirt, which was soaked with his tears.
Qin Song was amused by his appearance and tickled by his tickling of her knee.
She pulled her leg away, and he instinctively grabbed her.
As a result, he accidentally discovered her secret of being completely empty-handed.
Li Yu's pupils trembled, and she stammered, "You, you're not wearing..."
Yes, she wasn't wearing it. She took it off and gave it to Lu Youchuan so they wouldn't bump into each other.
"Yes, it's dirty," she replied calmly, without a trace of embarrassment.
Li Yu was so afraid that she would run away that in her panic she used a little too much force and accidentally tore her skirt...
Li Yu has recently read a lot of books and has gained a complete understanding of women's clothing and attire.
He loosened his grip slightly and looked at the fabric he was still holding. It consisted of only two layers of brocade skirt fabric, with no undergarment cotton fabric that should have covered it.
A hidden realization exploded in his mind, giving him no time to react before he...
Shame and guilt made his scalp tingle. He frantically grabbed her cloak and covered her legs, then fled out of the curtain.
But as soon as he lifted the curtain, he met Ah Zhao's gaze, who was waiting not far from the horse's head.
Ah Zhao had been waiting quietly, but upon seeing Li Yu, his first reaction was to come forward and serve her closely.
Li Yu, however, seemed increasingly uneasy.
He has already ruined all the dignity and respect he has ever had in his life tonight, and he cannot afford to lose face in front of his subordinates any further.
He glanced down at the ground beneath him and coldly ordered, "Stand back."
Then he lowered the curtain and retreated back into the carriage.
Qin Song acted like a bystander, neither minding whether he left nor staying.
But after he stepped back, she tilted her head and looked at him, already seeing through his awkwardness and change.
They even deliberately asked, "Aren't you going to solve it?"
With a "buzz," her mind went blank, and Li Yu stood there, feeling a sense of unease slowly being torn apart by her gaze.
Qin Song was still pushing her luck. She curled her lips into a smile, revealing two dimples: "You can watch me do it."
She was excited for a long time after seeing Lu Youchuan do it last time, and she wondered what it would be like to see Li Yu do it.
With his beautiful hands, everything he does must look good.
Qin Song couldn't wait any longer, while Li Yu's shoulders and back were stiff, her eyes were red, her chest was heaving violently, and her gaze swept from Qin Song's eyebrows and eyes to her red lips, and then fell on her ankles.
"Really...is it okay?"
Qin Song rested his elbows on his knees and propped his chin on his hand in response, "Mm."
He swallowed hard, stared at her in disbelief for a long time, and finally knelt at her feet, took off her shoes and socks, and grabbed her small, fair foot, pressing it against his own.
“Songniang, step on me.”
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Author's Note: I'm in the "black room" again... I think I'll give up on fixing typos from now on, 555 [crying emoji]
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