Awaken
The corridors of the Imperial Observatory were deep and long, and the autumn sunlight slanted in, but was cut off by the towering palace walls, making them appear cold and orderly.
Ling Zhan had not gone far.
The news brought by Xuan Chenzi stirred up a storm in her heart. Su Wan's name was like a cold hook, dragging out countless chaotic questions. She needed to sort things out, she needed an answer.
She didn't have to wait long.
Light footsteps sounded from behind, unhurried and steady, as was Su Wan's usual pace, but today, they seemed even more subdued.
Ling Zhan turned around.
Su Wan stood a few steps away, already dressed in the everyday clothes of a candidate for the imperial concubine selection. The fabric was much more luxurious than her usual clothes outside the palace, but the color was a simple lotus root color, which made her face still look beautiful, but there was a thin mist between her eyebrows and eyes that made it difficult to see clearly.
The two looked at each other for a moment, and the wind blew through the corridor, carrying the chill of late autumn.
"Sister Ling."
Su Wan spoke first, her voice steady, even carrying a hint of her usual gentleness, yet strangely distant.
"Why?" Ling Zhan asked directly.
She has never been good at, nor does she like, beating around the bush, especially with people she once considered sisters.
Su Wan lowered her eyes slightly, then raised them again, meeting Ling Zhan's gaze with composure. Beneath that composure lay a resolute determination, a willingness to gamble everything. "Sister Ling is asking why I participated in the selection?" She gently curved her lips into a smile, but the smile did not reach her eyes. "The Empress Dowager and Her Majesty the Empress Dowager think I am acceptable, which is my good fortune."
“You know that’s not what I’m asking.” Ling Zhan’s voice turned cold.
Su Wan paused for a moment, her fingertips unconsciously twirling an embroidered pattern on her cuff—the same one Ling Zhan had brought back for her from the border years ago. "Since it's for the sake of the royal offspring," she finally spoke again, her voice still steady, but uttering the reason that stung Ling Zhan's heart, "Why can't I?"
Ling Zhan's gaze sharpened.
Meeting her gaze, Su Wan continued, her voice gradually tinged with an emotion she could hardly contain and that had been suppressed for a long time: "Sister Ling, you rescued me from the bandit's den back then and gave me a place to live. His Majesty... he also relied on me later, entrusting me with the accounts of 'Yunshangji', and never showing the slightest disdain because of my past."
She took a half step forward, her eyes glistening with tears, her tone becoming earnest and even somewhat sorrowful: "I just... I just want a child, someone to rely on in the future. And even more so... I want to repay the kindness of my sister and His Majesty. This deep palace is so lonely; wouldn't it be better to have my former sisters by my side?"
Ling Zhan looked at her, at that familiar face, and listened to her reasonable, even affectionate, plea, yet the strange feeling in his heart grew stronger. It was like a meticulously copied painting, similar in form but slightly off in spirit, revealing an indescribable sense of incongruity.
She couldn't refute a single word, but her intuition was sharply warning her.
"Is that all your reasoning?" Ling Zhan asked, his gaze piercing through the thin layer of mist.
Under her gaze, Su Wan's eyelashes trembled slightly, a momentary wavering, but it was quickly replaced by a deeper stubbornness. She bowed deeply: "Every word comes from the heart. If Sister Ling has nothing else, Wan'er will take her leave now, as I still need to study palace rules."
She turned and left, her back view appearing slender yet upright in the orderly light and shadow, step by step, she walked deeper into the palace walls.
Ling Zhan stood alone, gazing in the direction she had disappeared. The doubts in his heart not only remained unresolved but tangled even more tightly. That sense of unease, like a fine thorn, pierced his heart—not painful, yet undeniably present.
Footsteps sounded again from behind, steady, yet carrying a subtle hint of unsteadiness.
Ling Zhan did not turn around.
The footsteps stopped half a step behind her. Silence, heavy as a physical weight, pressed down between them.
"She's come looking for you."
Wei Jin's voice rang out, the hoarseness had lessened somewhat, but it had gained an even colder, more penetrating quality.
Ling Zhan continued to look at the half-withered pomegranate tree outside the corridor and hummed in agreement.
"What did I tell you? Sisterly love and shared family happiness? Or... no other choice, no control over your own destiny?"
His tone contained no doubt, only an almost cruel certainty.
Ling Zhan finally turned his head, his gaze falling on his still pale face, but his eyes shone with an astonishing brightness. "She said she wanted offspring, she wanted something in return," Ling Zhan repeated, his voice steady, yet tinged with confusion. "She said, 'Why can't she?'"
Wei Jin chuckled very softly, but there was no warmth in his laughter.
"Repayment? She repaid me in this way?"
Ling Zhan finally asked the question and looked at him.
Wei Jin did not answer directly. He stepped forward and stood beside her.
"Do you remember the time the tax collectors audited the accounts during the 'Cloud Garment Chronicle'?" he suddenly asked.
Ling Zhan paused, then thought for a moment. "I remember. Jinhua Manor framed you, and you paid three hundred taels to settle the matter."
"That's it?"
Wei Jin repeated, a mocking smile playing on his lips, “In your view, it’s all over. The money was paid, the shop wasn’t sealed, and the crisis was averted. Afterwards, you even gave her a bag of neem seeds to keep away wood-boring insects, so she could ‘stay put.’”
His gaze suddenly shifted to her, sharp as a knife: "Have you ever asked her how she felt when the tax collector pointed his finger at her and cursed her for 'forging documents,' and when the yamen runners roughly pushed her away? Have you ever asked her what she was thinking when she saw me, her employer, take out three hundred taels to 'feed the dogs,' and then turn around and go find Zhao San and his gang of thugs?"
Ling Zhan frowned slightly: "Given the circumstances, settling things amicably was the best solution. I'm not unaware of her grievances..."
"You know it, but you feel it's unnecessary to mention it."
Wei Jin interrupted her, his tone so calm it was almost cruel, “It’s like you know she’s always looked down on my thuggish ways back then, and you think it doesn’t matter, you even think she’s right, that I deserve to be beaten. You’ve always been tolerant of me, as long as I don’t make any big mistakes. But without realizing it, you’ve accepted her judgment—that I act recklessly, without considering the consequences, and that I need to be restrained.”
He took a step forward, staring intently at the slight ripple that finally appeared in her eyes.
“Every time she comes to you to complain about me, it reinforces a realization: Su Wan is the one who upholds the rules and keeps 'Yunshangji' from falling apart. As for me, Shen Yan, and even Wei Jin later, I am the one who keeps causing trouble, who needs her to clean up the mess, and who needs you to step in and ‘tolerate’ me.”
"She put in the effort, she really did put in a lot of effort. In her heart, she deserves all the credit for making that business a success. But what was the result?" Wei Jin's voice lowered, but every word struck Ling Zhan's heart like a hammer. "The business grew bigger and bigger, I became the emperor, and you became the empress. And what about her?"
"What did she get? A simple 'everyone stays in their place'? A managerial position in 'Shan Hai Su' or 'Yunshang Ji'? Or just watching you and me stand shoulder to shoulder across the world, while she remains forever just the old hand who 'contributes'?"
Ling Zhan's lips moved slightly, but he found himself unable to refute the argument.
“She felt it was unfair, Ling Zhan.”
Wei Jin's gaze seemed to pierce through all her confusion. "She was once the daughter of the Imperial Textile Commissioner of Jiangnan. She had seen wealth and honor, and she had also fallen into the mire. What she wanted most was 'status,' a sense of security that she could hold in her hands and that no one could ever look down on her again. What could satisfy her more than being born into the imperial family and having a title in the harem?"
“She said her heart was set on nature because she had no other choice at the time. Now, a more glorious and ‘safe’ shortcut is presented to her, telling her ‘why you can’t do it.’ Do you think she would be tempted?”
Ling Zhan stood there, stunned.
Wei Jin's words were like a cold wedge, cleaving open the hard shell of her memory—the fleeting, almost humiliating smile on Su Wan's lips as she held the bag of neem seeds; the subtle, grating undertone in Su Wan's gentle tone when she sighed countless times, "If my sister were in charge, it wouldn't be so troublesome"—countless moments that she had taken for granted surged up now, converging into a bone-chilling current that raged from the depths of her heart, more piercing than the autumn wind.
He looked at the rare, almost bewildered expression on her face, an expression that seemed to be truly weighing the possibility of this "sisterly companionship"—a possibility that pierced his eyes like a poisoned needle. The restlessness that had been suppressed by the high fever and his emotions intertwined violently with a deeper heartache and a sudden panic, scorching away at his already dwindling composure.
His tone suddenly became aggressive, and he practically forced the words out from between his teeth:
"Tell me, Ling Zhan, do you really want her to enter the palace? Do you really want her to become a member of this harem, to be your sister, and to share a husband?"
Ling Zhan was forced to take a half step back by his suddenly raised tone and sharp questions. His heart tightened for no reason, and he was speechless for a moment.
Her silence seemed to infuriate him, or rather, confirmed one of his terrible suspicions.
He suddenly moved closer, a dark undercurrent of suppressed anger surging in his eyes: "You can't answer? It's because you know in your heart that she's not attracted to me at all, is it?"
Ling Zhan's pupils contracted slightly, and he stared at him in astonishment.
Wei Jin's cold smile deepened, carrying a knowing and bitter understanding: "She complained to you a lot about me back then, didn't she? She complained that I used underhanded methods, that I associated with scoundrels, that I broke the rules... Didn't she tell you all of these things?"
Ling Zhan nodded subconsciously. Those fragments of the past reappeared with unparalleled clarity at this moment.
“Look,” Wei Jin seemed to have finally received confirmation, his voice carrying a kind of resigned mockery, whether mocking her or himself, it was unclear, “from beginning to end, she wasn’t looking at me as a person.” He paused, his gaze like the coldest ice, wrapped with the deepest emotions, fixing on her.
"She was looking at my identity, and perhaps... my face."
"What she wants is an offspring with the blood of an 'emperor,' someone who can ensure her honor and prestige for the rest of her life. How is this any different from her mindset when she diligently did the accounting at 'Yunshangji' back then, trying to preserve that business?"
"However, this time what she wants is this palace and a prince."
Ling Zhan was completely speechless, feeling the chill completely grip her, her limbs and bones stiffening.
Looking at her suddenly bloodless cheeks and slightly trembling fingertips, Wei Jin's initial coldness, born from revealing the truth, quickly faded, leaving only endless exhaustion and a deep, almost overwhelming pity. He finally softened his tone, his voice hoarse: "Now, do you understand why she did this?"
He didn't wait for her reply, as if the answer was already self-evident.
He turned around, his crimson dragon robe tracing a heavy and lonely arc in the cold light, and slowly walked towards his palace.
Ling Zhan was left alone in the cold wind of the deep corridor, facing the half-withered pomegranate tree.
She saw it clearly for the first time.
Beneath the palace walls, where sunlight cannot reach, grows a tangled, dark vine called humanity.
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