Revised Terms
Shen Yan finished reading the densely packed, incisive clauses.
He felt a chill rush from the soles of his feet to the top of his head, making his very soul tremble.
This doesn't look like going to school.
This is clearly a humiliating and unequal treaty that sells out the country, with a lifetime contract of servitude and complete asset surveillance!
[The dividends were used to pay off debts! (It hurts so much, it hurts my heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys!)]
[All the money I earn in the future will have to go towards paying off debts! (Despair, the future seems bleak!)]
We can't help our opponents! (A backup plan? It doesn't exist!)
[Only coarse cloth can be worn during the study period?! Only four sets a year?! (A bolt from the blue! This is torture! Coarse cloth! Even a slight touch will make your skin turn red!)]
[My allowance? Completely gone?! Not even enough for a candied hawthorn?! (The heavens are against me! I can't live like this anymore!)]
[The consequences of not studying well or messing around are extremely serious! (Fear, as if I could see myself being hung naked from the city gate tower)]
The worst part is that the final interpretation rests with that woman! (I feel completely at her mercy, like a fish on a chopping board, a salted fish at that!)
His hand trembled as he pointed to the two glaring "torture clauses," his voice shrill like a rooster being strangled.
“Mother-child-!!!”
That shout shook a layer of dust off the roof beams.
"You...you don't have a contract! You're going to skin me alive, pull out my tendons, and turn me, Chen Yan, into a 'legal man-made corpse'!!"
He grabbed the smooth, soft silk collar of his robe and stroked it with heartbreaking sorrow.
"Look at this! Look at this material! This is more befitting of the head of the Shen family! Coarse cloth?! Is that even fit for human wear? If I wore it for a day, my delicate skin would be chafed raw! If I went out, people would think our family had gone bankrupt! What about the Shen family's reputation?! What about my dignity?!"
Then, he clutched his chest, looking utterly dejected.
"And my allowance! My wife, cutting off my allowance is cutting off my spiritual nourishment, cutting off my source of joy! Studying so hard in the academy, hanging my head from the rafters and pricking my thigh with an awl, how bitter it is! Without some sweet snacks to soothe my soul, without a wonderful novel to enrich my life, without a few close friends to share a cup of tea and exchange ideas... I... I will wither away! I will become a dried-up corpse that only knows how to recite laws! My wife, how cruel you are! You are driving your husband to the brink of despair!"
He made a move as if he was about to crash into the pillar next to him.
Little Stone's eagerness to protect his father backfired, causing him to trip over his own leg and nearly fall over.
Xuan Chenzi watched with great interest, adding fuel to the fire as needed.
"Immeasurable Heavenly Venerable! Lady Ling, even I, this humble Taoist, can't bear to watch! Little Shenzi, with his delicate skin and tender flesh, wearing coarse cloth? What is that if not torture? And this pocket money... Scholars value 'a beautiful woman adding fragrance to their studies at night.' Although there's no fragrance to add, buying some melon seeds to snack on to refresh the mind is also excellent! A penny can stump a hero, but two taels of silver can save the world and bring peace to the country (?)! This humble Taoist dares to guarantee that without pocket money, Little Shenzi's learning efficiency will drop by at least 30%! No, no, no, it will drop by 70%!"
Ling Zhan crossed his arms.
Watching the exaggerated performance with the same aversion as watching a monkey show is tedious and tiresome.
He gave Xuan Chenzi, who seemed to thrive on chaos, a cold glance at him, the curve of his lips conveying absolute control.
"Oh? Delicate skin? Spiritual nourishment? Withered? Seventy percent efficiency lost?" She scoffed. "Chen Yan, your 'delicate' skin is provided by fine silks and delicacies. As for spiritual nourishment? Your spiritual nourishment used to be the sounds of drinking games in restaurants and the ditties of courtesans, right? That kind of 'nourishment' almost starved the children to death!"
She strode forward, her powerful aura instantly silencing Shen Yan, who was still faking her tears.
"Talking about money hurts feelings? No, only by clarifying money and rules can we preserve our fragile 'relationship' and the savings we've worked so hard to accumulate."
A shaky 'relationship'
Shen Yan quickly grasped the key point: "It seems my wife has feelings for me, then we can talk!"
Ling Zhan's gaze locked onto Shen Yan, "What should be saved, not a single copper coin should be wasted. What should be given... Hmph, let's see if there's any oil left to squeeze out of you."
"Sign or not sign? If you don't sign, go back now to wear coarse cloth to take care of the children, eat salted vegetables and cornbread every day, and experience the 'end of this miserable life' in advance."
Ling Zhan pointed towards the backyard, his tone completely calm, yet more terrifying than any threat.
"Wearing coarse cloth and eating pickled vegetables at home?!"
The thought of that scene was more terrifying to Shen Yan than memorizing a hundred laws. He jumped up abruptly, determined to use any means necessary, even a tantrum, to fight for his "human rights," not to mention the "precarious state of their relationship!"
"My wife!" he shouted emotionally.
"Isn't the family business thriving now?! Even if you let a little bit slip through your fingers, I'll be living a very comfortable life! You manage everything like an iron barrel, and I'm constantly thinking about how to save money on food to buy paper and pens. How am I supposed to study? The mental pressure is too much. I'll get premature gray hair, I'll have insomnia and nightmares, I'll... I'll become a bookworm! Wouldn't that be a waste of my wife's great investment?"
He rubbed his hands together, a fawning smile plastered on his face, and leaned closer to Ling Zhan: "Like this! Coarse cloth clothes are absolutely, absolutely unacceptable!"
He sighed, his tone resolute: "I swear in the name of all the ancestors of the Shen family, wearing coarse cloth will affect the feng shui and fortune of my Shen family! The material... fine cotton! Fine cotton will do, right? Two sets of fine cotton clothes for each season, all year round! Not much, right? Respectable and comfortable! As for pocket money..."
He held up three fingers, hesitated for a moment, and then gritted his teeth and pulled one back.
"Two ounces a month! Just two ounces! I promise I'll stretch every penny to its limit! I'll mainly use it to buy... study materials! Like 'Illustrated Essentials of the Law (with annotations)' and 'How to Memorize Laws Efficiently (with interesting examples)'... Occasionally, I'll exchange ideas with my classmates, have a cup of the cheapest coarse tea, enhance our friendship, and it'll also help with my studies!"
Little Stone covered his mouth and chuckled secretly when he saw how talkative his father was.
Ling Zhan looked at Shen Yan's expression, which seemed to say, "I've already lost so much money."
He glanced at Xuan Chenzi, who was suppressing a laugh, and a barely perceptible smile flashed in his eyes.
Instead of taking a pen to amend the contract, she casually grabbed a blank sheet of paper and scribbled down a few lines, more like a special order for battle.
Special Permit (Ling Zhan's Approval)
[During the school term, students are permitted to wear fine cotton clothing, two sets per season. The style must be neat and simple, nothing flashy! Old silk clothing is acceptable, but new clothing is prohibited!]
Two taels of silver per month, called 'rations'. Uses: books, paper, ink, and, if necessary, tea.
[Prohibited: Alcohol, gambling, gambling, cosmetics, and entertainment!]
[A single misplaced payment will result in double the fine and forfeiture of your monthly allowance!]
[These core ironclad rules are absolute; anyone who violates them will have this rule revoked and be forever condemned to the "jail of coarse cloth and salted vegetables"!]
[The final interpretation and the determination of the appropriate measure rest solely with me! Those who disobey will be executed immediately!]
"Smack!"
She slapped the "special permission order" that exuded an invisible malevolent aura in front of Shen Yan.
His fingertips struck the words "eternal fall into... prison" and "immediate execution (metaphor)" heavily, producing a dull, drum-like sound.
"Two sets of fine cotton clothes, two ounces of rations. These are the rules, these are the red lines!"
Ling Zhan's voice left no room for argument: "Crossing the line, you'll bear the consequences. I don't have time to argue with you about the details; I only want to see how much usefulness I can squeeze out of you! Sign, or go back to your 'feng shui bun' right now?"
Shen Yan stared at the few words in the "Special Permit," each one sharp as a knife and brimming with murderous intent.
Especially phrases like "rations," "prohibition," "immediate abolition," "eternal imprisonment," and "immediate execution (metaphor)."
These words sent a chill down my spine, a chill that was even more tangible than before!
How can this be considered a supplementary agreement?
They were clearly several blood-dripping battle axes hanging overhead!
He had no doubt that Ling Zhan could be crippled if he said so!
The power to actually throw someone into a pile of coarse cloth and pickled vegetables and let them eat until they die, when they say he will be "forever condemned to hell."
"Sign! Sign! Thank you... thank you for your mercy, Madam! The food is good! The food is plentiful! The fine cotton... the fine cotton is excellent!"
He hurriedly agreed, his hand trembling as he grabbed the pen to sign and affix his seal, as if he had epilepsy; this time, it was purely out of fear.
Although she managed to get some fine cotton and two taels of silver as pocket money.
But the oppressive feeling brought about by this "special permission order," stemming from absolute power, made him feel that he had not signed a contract.
It was a life-or-death contract!
Those prohibitions are absolute death traps that must not be crossed.
Fortunately, my aversion to it changed quickly!
Just after pressing his handprint, he imagined himself wearing a fine cotton robe, carrying two ounces of "rations," and "enduring hardship and biding his time" in the academy.
He'll dominate the courtroom in the future!
Finally, the beautiful sight of Ling Zhan casting an approving glance... made me happy again.
Suddenly, a low, echoing, mocking voice, as if it were coming from underground or from the walls, rang out from the corner of the main room.
"Tsk tsk tsk, Little Shenzi! You've got guts! You sold yourself so cleanly and efficiently for two pieces of fine cotton clothing and two ounces of 'rations'? Studying law is so boring! All those rules and regulations bind you to death! Why not learn some real skills of 'getting away with the law' from the Taoist priest? I guarantee you'll live a life of luxury, surrounded by beautiful women. That's what you call the ultimate bliss, a true test of your heart in the mortal world!"
"Your two ounces of 'rations'? This old man has a quick calculation: Granny Wang's wonton stall in the east of the city is opening today, and the broth is incredibly delicious! After you finish your wontons, head over to 'Ni Chang Ge' to listen to some music. That pipa tune, tsk tsk, it'll melt your bones! Hahaha..."
The voice was elusive, and Chen Yan looked around in surprise and doubt.
Even Ling Zhan frowned slightly, his sharp gaze scanning the possible source of the sound—
A vase in the corner? The shadow of the roof beam? Or... behind that landscape painting?
Just as Shen Yan's heart was itching with desire for "wonton" and "pipa tune," and her eyes began to wander—
"Whoosh—thud!"
A greasy, half-eaten chicken bone flew out from some tricky angle with perfect precision, hitting Shen Yan squarely on the forehead where he had just signed the "special permission order" and which was still covered in ink!
"Ouch!"
Shen Yan covered his head, looking at the "murder weapon" that had fallen to the ground with shock and anger.
A strong aroma of braised meat and a greasy feeling hit my nose.
Ling Zhan didn't even look at where the bone came from. With a flick of his wrist, the cup of freshly poured, scalding hot tea in his hand, accompanied by a sharp whooshing sound, transformed into a water arrow and shot straight towards the corner where the sound last appeared—the landscape painting!
"Sizzle—Ouch! It's so hot! Damn it, Heavenly Venerable! You wicked woman! You murdered my...my strategist?! My beard! My newly grown, beautiful beard!"
With an exaggerated, distorted scream and the sizzling sound of scalded fabric, the landscape painting shook violently.
Something seemed to tumble down awkwardly behind it.
Immediately afterwards, tables and chairs were banged and clanged.
Accompanied by cries of pain, "Ouch!" and anxious shouts of "My whisk is caught!", it quickly drove away towards the back window.
"Get out of here! That woman's gone mad! She even dared to destroy the Taoist priest's livelihood! Little Shen, you'd better pray for yourself! Remember the wonton stall—"
The sound faded into the distance, and the last few words were almost blown away by the wind.
The main room fell silent once more.
All that remained was a greasy-looking man covering his forehead, and a fragrant chicken bone on the ground.
And that landscape painting, still swaying slightly, its surface soaked with tea.
The main room fell silent once more.
Shen Yan remained frozen in place, still grinning foolishly at the "life-or-death contract".
The corners of his mouth still held a smile of relief, but his eyes were already vacant.
Is the mortal world a test of the heart?
The lights of Flower Street?
What can two ounces of food do?
Did he sign too quickly just now? That old bastard ruined me!
Ling Zhan slowly picked up the abacus, elegantly blew away non-existent dust, and gave Shen Yan a smile so kind it could freeze a star: "Husband, 'two ounces of rations'...you must use them well on the 'right path'."
She paused deliberately, her gaze sweeping across the chrysanthemum garden outside the window, her voice soft yet firm: "If I discover that your 'rations' or your thoughts are leaning towards the 'lights of the red-light district'... ha, my forehead will be your example. Understand?"
Shen Yan snapped back to reality in an instant, his hair stood on end, and he swore an oath to the heavens, his voice cracking.
"My lady! It's a misunderstanding! A huge misunderstanding! It's all that old scoundrel's nonsense! My loyalty to you and the law is as clear as day! The contract is well-signed! Brilliantly signed! Unprecedented and unparalleled! The fine cotton is just what I wanted! Two ounces of rations are just right! The red-light district? What red-light district? I, Chen Yan, will never forgive the red-light district in this lifetime!"
He spoke enthusiastically, but inside he was already weeping: My meager rations!
I feel like I'm on the edge of a demon's blade even before I've got it!
You old bastard, I'm not done with you yet!
"The matter of studying is settled!"
Ling Zhan made the final decision, ignoring Shen Yan's almost tangible gaze of resentment, and turned to Xuan Chenzi, his voice not loud but very clear.
"Hey old sage behind the flowerbed, stop playing dead! Come down! It's time to pay your 'rent'!"
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