Where my heart finds peace
The first snowflakes were light and fine, dampening the stone lions in front of the Anping Earl's Mansion.
The vermilion gate was wide open, and warm yellow light spilled out, melting the thin white paint on the steps.
This is not a royal residence bestowed by the emperor, but rather a private property personally acquired by His Majesty when he was still "Shen Yan". The four characters "Anping Earl's Mansion" above the gate exude a kind of solid liveliness different from that of the imperial palace and forbidden gardens in the snowy night. For Wei Jin now, that nine-tiered palace is the dragon throne he must sit on, and every time he steps out of the palace gate, he must go through a series of tedious procedures.
This is the home he left for himself and for all his children, a home that will never be closed.
The sound of horses' hooves shattered the silence of the snowy night, approaching from afar.
The first to break through the snow was a jet-black steed, its young general standing ramrod straight as a spear, his dark cloak billowing in the fierce winds and snow of the frontier. He deftly pulled on the reins and dismounted, his iron boots crunching crisply on the snow.
"Father, Mother."
Shen Xiao raised his hand and removed the neck guard that covered his face, revealing a face whose features had become even more sharp from the wind and sand. His voice was deep and hoarse from years of battlefield experience, yet it couldn't hide the excitement of returning home. He didn't even bother to brush the snow off his shoulder armor.
"It's good that you're back!"
A figure practically leaped out of the door. Shen Yan grabbed his eldest son's arm, his touch revealing hard, cold iron armor and bulging muscles beneath. He patted him hard, his eyes welling up, but he smiled, "Good lad! That murderous aura of yours didn't disgrace me!"
Shen Xiao's cold, hard lips curved almost imperceptibly as his gaze passed over his father and landed on the figure standing silently inside the door. The light from the corridor outlined Ling Zhan's slender profile. She merely nodded slightly, her gaze lightly sweeping over his frosted brows and a deep slash mark on his shoulder armor.
“Mother.” Shen Xiao’s voice was slightly lower.
"Hmm," Ling Zhan's voice was as cold as the snowy night, yet strangely dispelled the chill, "Come in and warm up."
At that moment, two even younger figures rushed out from inside.
"Big brother!"
Shen Xing and Shen Chen exclaimed almost simultaneously, their eyes burning with undisguised admiration. Shen Xiao raised his hand and ruffled their hair, his movements slightly stiff but carrying the gentle warmth unique to an elder brother: "Xing'er, Chen'er, you've grown taller. You're all grown up now!"
His gaze lingered for a moment on Shen Chen's calloused tiger's mouth, and he nodded very slightly.
The dining hall was so warm that one wanted to take off their outer robe.
The huge round table was laden with dishes, with a steaming copper pot in the center and sizzling lamb chops, all showcasing the rugged flavors of northern Xinjiang.
Shen Yan picked up a large piece of stewed mutton and put it in Shen Xiao's bowl: "Try it, you can't get this authentic taste in the palace. You kid, were you just eating dry rations over there?"
Shen Xiao's eating posture still carried the neatness of his military days. Hearing this, he paused for a moment and said, "The food in the army is alright." He chewed on the piece of meat, his Adam's apple bobbing, and added, "...not as fragrant as home-cooked food."
Shen Yan chuckled smugly and ladled him another spoonful of thick soup: "What are your plans after the report? With your military achievements, you'd be enough to give those old men in the Ministry of War a hard time."
Shen Xiao put down his chopsticks, his posture still upright, as if he were speaking in a military tent: "I do have this intention. What we see in the border battles is just a city or a fortress. The foundation of the empire's military equipment, policies, and deployment lies in the Ministry of War. I want to go and see, to learn."
"good!"
Shen Yan slapped his thigh, causing the wine in his glass to spill. "That's my son! Go ahead and rest assured, Dad..." He paused, quickly glancing at Ling Zhan who was eating quietly, and changed his words, "...Dad and your mother are here to support you!"
Shen Xing and Shen Chen exchanged an excited look, as if they could already see their elder brother dominating the Ministry of War.
Two days later, the snow stopped, and the sky cleared.
Several carriages, piled high with chests and showing obvious signs of travel dust, stopped in front of the mansion gate.
The carriage curtain was lifted, and Suihe was the first to jump down. She was wearing a neat cotton dress with a windproof cloak over it. Her cheeks were slightly red from the cold, but her eyes shone like stars after a shower. She took a deep breath of the familiar air of home, and a big smile bloomed on her face.
"Father! Mother! We're back!" The voice was clear and bright, carrying the scent of sunshine from Buffalo Valley.
Following closely behind, Shen Hong also got out of the carriage. He was a bit thinner, wrapped in a worn blue robe, and his brows and eyes showed the weariness of a long journey, but also added a touch of composure and gentleness. He looked at Sui He, who was skipping over, with an imperceptible indulgence and warmth in his eyes.
"Father, Mother." He stepped forward and bowed respectfully.
His disdainful gaze swept back and forth between the two, lingering especially long on Suihe's healthy, rosy face. The last bit of unease he felt about the "forced marriage" finally vanished, and he smiled so hard that fine lines appeared at the corners of his eyes: "Good, good! Come inside! Suihe, the wind and sand of Bison Valley didn't roughen my daughter up, but instead made her even more radiant? She's just a little thinner!"
"I haven't lost weight!"
Suihe wrinkled her nose and took Shen Hong's arm. "Brother Hong has taken such good care of me! Dad, you don't know, the new wheat seeds we brought back are incredibly cold-resistant!"
Dinner was a completely different affair. Several delicate stir-fries from the Jiangnan region and a warming medicinal soup appeared on the table.
"...The last section of the city wall was built with newly fired bricks, which are 30% stronger than the old method." Shen Hong calmly recounted the progress of the Wild Buffalo Valley.
"And there's more!" Suihe interjected eagerly, gesturing with her eyes shining. "Dad, Mom, the black beans we tried planting had an amazing yield! The tofu made from them is incredibly fragrant! And there are also cold-resistant beets, so we can have sugar even in winter!"
As she spoke with great enthusiasm, she gestured animatedly, while Shen Hong smiled beside her, occasionally adding a few points of data or reminding her to drink some soup to soothe her throat.
Looking at him, Shen Yan felt comforted and couldn't help but bring up the old topic again: "Hong'er has achieved academic success and has actually governed a city, while Suihe's abilities are even more exceptional. In my opinion, Hong'er is suitable to observe politics in any of the Six Ministries, and Suihe..."
“Father,” Shen Hong interrupted him gently, exchanged a glance with Sui He, and after receiving an encouraging nod from her, he said slowly, “I have discussed it with Sui He. My ambition is not in the imperial court. On the contrary, I find Sui He’s knowledge of farming more attractive than the classics. She has a talent for farming, and I am willing to do my best to assist her.”
Suihe nodded vigorously and took over the conversation, her voice full of enthusiasm: "Yes, Dad! Let's go to the Minister of Agriculture! Brother Hong knows how to manage accounts and affairs, and I know about crops. We can definitely make something of ourselves! We can make sure that lots and lots of land can grow good grains!"
Shen Yan was stunned, her chopsticks hanging in mid-air.
The son is giving up a promising career to work as a farmer with his wife?!
He instinctively wanted to frown, but his gaze fell on Shen Hong's eyes, which suddenly became lively and bright when he talked about farming, on Sui He's genuine excitement, and on the natural, unspoken understanding between the two of them.
He recalled Ling Zhan's aloof words, "Forcing it will only make things worse."
Looking at the two people in front of me, the melon vines are tightly intertwined, and the fruit they bear seems... exceptionally sweet?
He suddenly burst into laughter, put down his chopsticks, and waved his hand: "Good! Good! My beloved son and daughter-in-law, even if you go to farm, you'd better farm a 'granary of the world' for me! That will scare those old fogies who only know how to talk! Go! I'll back you up!"
Shen Hong and Sui He both breathed a sigh of relief, looked at each other and smiled, saying in unison, "Thank you, Father!"
Ling Zhan ate his food quietly, his gaze sweeping over the children's relaxed smiling faces, a barely perceptible smile curving his lips.
The joy and warmth of the reunion almost overflowed the hall.
Shen Yan looked at the scene before him: the eldest son was resolute, the second son was gentle and intelligent, the eldest daughter was virtuous and quiet, the second daughter was bright and beautiful, the third and fourth sons were heroic, and the little stone was clever and talented, and was the youngest top scholar in the imperial examinations, a rare occurrence in a thousand years... Most importantly, beside him was the clear and cool moon that always accompanied him.
His chest was filled with a burning emotion, and he couldn't help but raise his glass repeatedly.
After several rounds of drinks, the atmosphere became increasingly lively.
Seeing Ling Feng rise from his seat, seemingly to instruct the guards outside, Shen Yan's eyes darted around. He feigned drunkenness and followed him out, swaying slightly. A gust of cold wind blew through the corridor, dispelling some of the effects of the alcohol. Ling Feng had just finished whispering instructions to a Shura Guard when he turned around and saw His Majesty approaching, his face displaying a feigned casualness masking an undisguised curiosity and gossip.
"Ahem, Ling Feng."
Shen Yan hooked his arm around Ling Feng's shoulder, lowered his voice, and glanced at Wan Su in the direction of the hall, "You and Su Su have been married for a while now, and you two seem so sweet together... why haven't you made any moves yet?" He winked and made his meaning clear.
Ling Feng stood tall and straight, his posture respectful yet composed even with His Majesty's arm around his shoulder. Upon hearing this, his hard facial features softened almost imperceptibly for a moment before returning to normal. He didn't avoid the question, but lowered his voice further, ensuring only the two of them could hear:
"Your Majesty, it was Su Su's idea."
He paused, his gaze unconsciously drifting towards the main seat in the hall, to that aloof figure. "Susu said... she wants to wait a little longer. After... Mother is settled, we can consider having children."
"Wait for Ling Zhan to settle down?" Shen Yan didn't react for a moment and blurted out, "What's wrong with her? She's doing very well..." He stopped abruptly halfway through his sentence, as if something had suddenly struck the top of his head.
etc?
Ling Zhan?
Pregnant?
A strange, overwhelming blankness instantly swept through his mind. Yes… why hadn't she gotten pregnant? Since their reunion, their intimacy, though not frequent, had been regular, as she requested. He had never deliberately avoided having children; perhaps, subconsciously… he even hoped for it? But Ling Zhan's belly remained unchanged.
He had never pondered this question before, but now, awakened by Ling Feng's words, he suddenly realized the unusual nature of the situation. Ling Zhan's physical condition far surpassed that of ordinary people, and he was by no means someone who had difficulty conceiving. So why...? An indescribable feeling of loss, confusion, or vague worry crept into his heart, instantly extinguishing his previous gossipy interest and leaving him only stunned.
Seeing the change in his expression, Ling Feng silently took a step back, lowered his eyes and stood aside, saying no more.
Shen Yan stood there, the cold wind from the corridor seemed to blow into his heart, making him shiver.
He subconsciously turned his head and looked through the window at Ling Zhan, who was sitting in the main seat in the hall.
She was listening intently to Sui He's animated speech, her profile appearing exceptionally fair, slender, and handsome in the lamplight. Her expression remained calm and undisturbed, as if nothing in the world could disturb her heart.
Why am I not pregnant?
Is it that she... doesn't actually want it?
Or...some other reason?
The smile on Shen Yan's face had long since frozen, her mind still unsettled by Ling Feng's words.
Having sobered up considerably, he lost interest in continuing and returned to his study alone.
At this moment, Shen Xing and Shen Chen quietly left their seats, and soon after, they appeared together at the door of the study, their expressions more solemn than ever before.
“Father,” Shen Xing said, his voice slightly tense with excitement, yet unusually firm, “we have passed all of Mother’s tests.”
Shen Chen continued, his eyes burning with fervor: "The proclamation for the suppression of the Japanese pirates in the southeast has been issued, and the navy is recruiting soldiers. We plan to set off in three days!"
The lingering effects of the alcohol completely wore off. He looked at his two sons, now mostly grown up, their faces devoid of childlike innocence, only filled with longing for the vast sea and boundless achievements. He opened his mouth, a father's worry and reluctance choking him, but ultimately it only turned into a long, complex sigh.
He turned his head and looked at Ling Zhan, who had already walked to the window.
Ling Zhan's gaze fell on his two sons, calm as still water, as if he had pierced through the thick sea fog and seen the turbulent waves and glorious dawn of the future.
Only the soft crackling of the candlelight remained in the study.
After a long silence, her clear, cold voice broke the stillness, saying only two words: "Go."
Like a pardon, and like the drums of war.
A brilliant light suddenly burst forth in Shen Xing and Shen Chen's eyes, like young eagles finally able to fight back. They clasped their fists together, their voices resolute.
"Yes, Mother!"
Before the warmth of home could even be warmed at our fingertips, the bugle call for the expedition had already sounded.
Wei Jin knew that after dawn, he would have to suppress all the joys and sorrows of being a father.
He walked through those heavily locked palace gates, returned to that lofty dragon throne, and became the emperor of all under heaven.
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