Chapter 383 Their relationship was all a sham.
The room fell silent immediately.
Even though she knew the answer shouldn't be too surprising, Shang Ruyi still felt a sudden, sharp pain in her chest, catching her off guard and making her breath catch in her throat.
After a long while, she managed to say "Oh" in a calm but weak voice.
Changwan looked at her cautiously, not daring to say anything more.
Shang Ruyi stood for a while, then walked to the table and sat down. After sitting for a while, she turned to look at the jewelry box that Chang Wan had brought over. She took a deep breath, as if she felt that she had finally calmed down, and reached out to open the jewelry box and took out two hairpins.
Comparing the two, she put the luxurious and colorful one back, leaving the simple yet dignified one aside.
Following the same method, they selected bracelets and earrings.
Chang Wan watched for a while, then seemed to realize what was going on, and said softly, "Is the young mistress choosing what to bring tomorrow?"
Shang Ruyi nodded gently.
At this moment, Tushe'er also walked in from outside. She had just finished tidying up Shang Ruyi's bathing things and was still covered in sweat. She was fanning herself with her hand. As soon as she entered, she saw Shang Ruyi arranging the jewelry on the table. She was stunned for a moment and said, "Miss, I will prepare the things you need to take tomorrow. You should rest early."
Shang Ruyi shook her head and said softly, "These things still need to be done by ourselves."
"..."
"..."
The two maids exchanged a glance, seemingly sensing a deeper meaning in her words.
But before they could think it through, Shang Ruyi looked up and said, "Bring me formal attire."
Upon hearing this, Changwan hurriedly said, "Young Madam, tomorrow's Dharma assembly is not a court gathering, so the officials and noblewomen who are going do not need to wear formal attire."
"oh?"
Shang Ruyi thought for a moment and said, "Then, prepare that indigo blue dress for me."
"That set?"
Tushe'er and Changwan exchanged another glance, and Tushe'er said softly, "Miss, would you like to change into something else?"
Although the jewelry Shang Ruyi chose was simple and elegant, and the clothes were also plain, the combination of the clothes and jewelry had a strange, understated yet striking effect. It was as if it didn't seem to attract much attention, but once someone saw it, they couldn't take their eyes off it.
But tomorrow is the imperial court's Buddhist ceremony, and Shang Ruyi's identity is special, making her trip to Jiangdu even more unique.
Shouldn't she try her best to blend in with the crowd?
Meeting the two people's somewhat questioning gazes, Shang Ruyi smiled faintly and said, "No need, just prepare like this, go ahead."
Seeing that she said that, the two of them could not persuade her any further. They could only take out the clothes, hang them on the rack, iron out the wrinkles, and prepare the belt, just waiting to wear them tomorrow.
With everything prepared, the two maids left the room, leaving her alone to rest.
The room fell silent.
Almost immediately, Shang Ruyi felt as if her heart had gone empty.
She knew she was in pain, and she knew she had just perfectly concealed her pain. But even if she had deceived everyone, the dull ache in her heart and the emptiness she felt at that moment could not fool herself.
But why do I still feel so bad?
She was somewhat angry with herself, but even more helpless. Even though she was angry with herself, even though she knew she shouldn't be upset about that person or what he did, the distress was like a monster she couldn't resist. It would always rush into her world when she thought she was well-protected, tearing her heart apart and leaving it bleeding.
Shang Ruyi raised her head and looked at her pale and pitiful reflection in the bronze mirror on the other side. She gave a bitter smile.
Even if she's covered in blood, so what? She still has to heal herself, get back up, and live on.
She has to rely on herself!
Thinking of this, Shang Ruyi found a bit of strength amidst her dejected mood. She took a deep breath, stood up, and walked towards the bed, preparing to rest early. After all, what she would face tomorrow was unknown not only to her, but perhaps even to God.
But as soon as he reached the bedside, he froze.
There is only one bed in this room.
Of course, there is only one bed. This is where Yuwen Ye grew up. He lives alone, so naturally there is only one bed.
But how should I sleep?
In the past, in Taiyuan and Luoyang, they could still sleep in separate beds as agreed, but afterwards—
Now, what should be done about their relationship?
For her, whether they slept in the same bed or in separate beds didn't seem to make much difference, since they had already been intimate and were practically husband and wife. But she also knew in her heart that after experiencing certain things, they could never go back to that time, that time when they were close, intimate, and had given each other their hearts completely.
This couple was ultimately a sham.
Fake……
With this thought, Shang Ruyi suddenly felt that the emptiness in her chest wasn't so painful anymore. She calmly got into bed, blew out the candle, lay down, and closed her eyes.
Time slipped away little by little in the deep darkness of the night.
Before we knew it, it was past midnight.
All the lights in the Duke's mansion were extinguished, and all was silent. In this room, an almost tense silence enveloped everything, and even the heart that was still beating inside seemed to be slowly growing cold.
Just then, the door to the outer room was gently pushed open.
She felt she was about to fall asleep, perhaps even in a light sleep, but that soft click was like something she had been waiting for. As soon as it sounded, Shang Ruyi was instantly wide awake.
She slowly opened her bright eyes in the darkness.
At this moment, she felt a little flustered, wondering why she had to wake up at this time. She didn't want to face Yuwen Ye again tonight, especially after he had returned from the palace.
Thinking of this, she tried her best to control her heartbeat and breathing.
She lay quietly on her side on the bed, as if she were already fast asleep.
However, the more she suppressed her heartbeat and breathing, the more her blood surged through her body, almost bursting its banks. Her senses were also much sharper than usual. She could even clearly hear Yuwen Ye's breathing and his footsteps as he walked into the inner room and then to the bedside.
Then, it stopped.
He stood there motionless, as if watching something, or perhaps waiting for something.
But what can he see on a night like this, and what can he wait for?
Shang Ruyi unconsciously gripped her clothes tightly with her hand on her chest.
It was only then that she suddenly realized that the situation at this moment, even her heartbeat, was somewhat familiar. It was the same night that the two of them were outside Xingluo Warehouse. She was asleep, yet not asleep. Yuwen Ye walked to the bedside and stood quietly.
However, they are ultimately different.
Even though I had been hurt a few times back then, I still longed for a true heart that could belong entirely to me. Even after being rejected by him repeatedly, I still mustered up the courage to go to his tent and ask him for the truth—could things between them be real?
But now that she knows everything, she no longer tries to muster that useless courage.
Their relationship was fake.
Even if there has been physical intimacy, even if there has been consummation of marriage... it is still fake.
Thinking about it this way, and recalling her courage and initiative back then, she couldn't help but feel a little ridiculous, and even a little pathetic. Shang Ruyi gently stroked herself with the hand that was tightly clasped to her heart, as if soothing her old, stubborn wounds that refused to scab over.
Just then, a warm, large hand suddenly covered her shoulder!
"...!"
With just that one touch, her whole body felt as if it had been electrocuted, and she trembled instantly.
What's going on?!
Yuwen Ye—
Shang Ruyi's breath caught in her throat, and her heartbeat stopped at that moment. All her senses converged on her shoulder. Her slightly cool skin, covered by a thin nightgown, was instantly scalded by that warm, large hand, as if it were about to burst into flames.
What is he going to do?
Why touch yourself at this time?
Just as Shang Ruyi was feeling flustered but trying her best to control herself and calm down, she heard a soft sigh.
It was Yuwen Ye's sigh.
It seemed to carry a hint of a smile, yet also a hint of helplessness.
Why is he sighing?
That night, they didn't exchange a single word. He went to the palace and saw the person he wanted to see. This sigh could only have been for the person in his heart.
But why, standing beside me, patting my shoulder, did he let out such a sigh?
Shang Ruyi's mind was in turmoil, yet she felt that she shouldn't be in such a state.
What he did, his sighs... why do I have to think so much?
Thinking this, she became more determined to calm herself down. Even though her heart was pounding like a drum, she still tried her best to breathe evenly and slowly, remaining lying on her side on the bed. There was plenty of space behind her, enough for them to spend the night undisturbed.
So that hand—
She waited for that hand to let go.
After a long time, the hand finally let go.
Then, she felt Yuwen Ye slowly take off his outer clothes, sit on the edge of the bed, and seem to look back at her for a while before lying down.
Then, he turned to the side as well.
Although she didn't turn around, her keen senses clearly told Shang Ruyi that the person behind her had turned to face her.
In the darkness of the night, his eyes seemed to be looking at her as well.
After a long, almost suffocating silence, he let out a long sigh.
The scent of him, and the warmth of his body, brushed against the back of Shang Ruyi's neck, bringing a tingling sensation that almost made her unable to bear it—although she didn't know what else she could do if she couldn't bear it, she still curled up her body without making a sound.
The night passed in this chaos and helplessness.
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