Chapter 51 Rabbit Ears (Two-in-One) "How could you write such lewd poems?"...
Li Si explained the habits of pandas to make it easier for the queen to feed them.
"Your Majesty, Your Majesty, this Pixiu doesn't have a very strict day-night survival pattern. It can sleep anytime, anywhere, but it's more energetic in the early morning and at dusk."
"It doesn't move around much; it does nothing but eat and sleep."
Banban interjected at the opportune moment, "But I've heard that Pixiu are very intelligent, like a three- or four-year-old child. Won't they get sick if they just eat or sleep?" Noticing her cousin's gaze shifting towards her, she added, "After all, a three- or four-year-old child would also get sick if they just ate and slept, and slept and ate."
“The Queen is right,” Li Si said with a troubled expression. “However, no one has ever kept Pixiu as pets since ancient times, so I have not been able to find out any specific rules on how to raise them.”
"You don't know either? Then continue."
I didn't mean anything by it. I just remembered hearing on the news in my past life that pandas can also get depression and have stereotypical behaviors.
“The more intelligent an animal is, the closer it is to humans. Keeping it in cages all the time will naturally cause problems. The Queen’s concerns are not without reason.” Ying Zheng said thoughtfully, “Let’s keep them for now. When they are older, we can clear a piece of land and build a courtyard for them to live in.”
Banban's eyes lit up. "Why not put it outside Taxue Pavilion? There's a bamboo grove there where the kitten can eat bamboo. That would be perfect!"
"Very well, we will listen to the Queen." Ying Zheng had no objections to these matters.
Li Si: "A kitten?"
"Oh, I think the baby Pixiu looks like a raccoon dog. Look, its ears are black, but its face is white. Doesn't it look like a black and white raccoon dog?"
“Indeed, indeed.” Li Si feigned sudden realization, then launched into a string of praises. “To keep a cat as a pet, one must first betroth. I wonder what kind of betrothal gift the Queen intends to give to these two kittens?” He smiled, his hands clasped behind his back, his jokes not at all offensive.
"This... I haven't thought about it yet." Banban racked her brains, "It needs to be taken seriously."
"Why don't we choose a name first?" Li Si kindly suggested.
He discovered that the queen was similar in temperament to his daughter, both needing to be coaxed, like children who hadn't grown up. Despite experiencing so many events, she had matured while still retaining a childlike innocence, which showed just how much the King of Qin loved and cherished the queen.
There are almost no men in this world who can do this much.
When the topic of naming came up, Li Si glanced at the King of Qin, a subtle expression flickering across his face. He raised his hand to touch the bridge of his nose, then looked away to drink his tea.
What kind of expression is that?
“Names are easy to come up with,” it just came to mind, “Let’s call them Tuantuan and Yuanyuan.”
"..." Li Si almost choked on his saliva.
Strangely, he recalled that a few days ago the King of Qin mentioned that the Queen named the tea for Qiongju "Honey Citrus Tea." So this naming style was consistent?
So straightforward and simple?!
Li Si also wanted to touch his nose, "Then the male is round and the female is round?"
After much thought, she finally remembered her cousin and turned to him expectantly, "Cousin, why don't you choose the names?" Choosing two formal names was something only the father could do.
Ying Zheng thought to himself, "You've finally remembered me."
He leaned over and put his arms out on the back of his cousin's chair. From Li Si's perspective, it looked just like the King of Qin embracing the Queen.
He lowered his face, looked at her cheek, and his tone softened considerably.
"Let Li Si finish speaking first."
"Oh, okay."
Li Si hurriedly continued, "Although kittens are carnivores, 99% of their diet consists of bamboo."
"Legend has it that tens of thousands of years ago, the Pixiu was also carnivorous. However, their competition was with powerful species such as leopards and tigers, which required extremely high speed and strength to hunt successfully. The Pixiu was excellent in strength, but its speed was inferior. As a result, the risk of hunting was too great, and it might become the food of other species."
"Later they discovered that the bamboo covering the mountains and plains was also edible, and there was more than they could eat, which greatly reduced the risk of hunting and eliminated the need to compete with other species. Gradually, the Pixiu clan began to eat only various kinds of bamboo."
"After a long period of change, perhaps something changed in the stomach of the Pixiu. They gradually lost their sense of taste for meat, finding it tasteless and tasteless. As a result, they became completely herbivorous."
I was amazed. I never knew that the ancients knew so much. It made me realize that the ancients just didn't have such advanced technology. They weren't stupid; they had brains and intelligence.
“Pixiu are extremely timid. They can be frightened by the slightest noise. When frightened, they may exhibit aggressive behavior. Their teeth are very sharp and have an amazing bite force, designed to bite wood and bamboo.”
"They really are exactly like the pandas." Banban gently stroked the pandas' heads. The two were lying on the small couch, occasionally whimpering.
Then, she immediately said happily, "Cousin, give them two nice names. Brother, you can share the surname Ying, and sister can take my surname Ji."
It is not uncommon among nobles to give their pets their owner's surname, but it is unheard of in royalty.
Li Si unconsciously perked up his ears.
"As the guest said, the Pixiu likes bamboo. In ancient times, bamboo was called a gentleman. The bamboo body is dark green, so it is also called the Ink Gentleman. The Pixiu is accompanied by bamboo, and the black color is just right for its ears and eye circles. So let's name the male Pixiu Ink Gentleman."
“Mo Jun.” Banban stared blankly as she appraised it.
"The female Pixiu is quite good."
Upon hearing this, Banban recalled the last time her cousin mentioned Langgan. She and her aunt hadn't adopted the name Langgan, but he had remembered it so vividly.
Besides, the baby bear is named Langgan... that sounds awful!
Wolf!?!
Ji Langgan... Chicken and Wolf Dried?
Is this reasonable?
Some people's faces immediately fell.
Li Si pondered the two names with great interest, "Could they be from the Classic of Mountains and Seas? The word 'Langgan' is quite intriguing."
"I don't want to, I don't want to." Banban pushed Ying Zheng's arm away and interrupted, "I will also choose some cultured and elegant names."
Upon hearing this, Ying Zheng laughed out loud, "Oh?"
He was simply amused by his cousin's behavior; her dissatisfaction and dislike were written all over her face and couldn't be hidden.
"I need to think for a while." Banban glanced at Li Si.
Li Si accurately received the signal and consciously stated that he had important matters to attend to, so he left first.
...In any case, Li Si has extremely high emotional intelligence and is very perceptive.
Banban quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
Ying Zheng personally ground the ink, spread out a clean sheet of yellow paper, moistened the brush, and handed it to his cousin, acting like a refined gentleman, gentle and considerate, "Please, Your Majesty."
"..." Why hasn't anyone invented a national curse word?
Banban glanced at him, then at the yellow paper. Not wanting to lose face, she pretended to be reserved as she took the brush. Her cousin helped her sit down, and she looked up at him again.
Ying Zheng smiled and asked, "What?"
Seeing that the ink was about to drip from the tip of the pen, she slid the pen down and wrote two names: Wu Yuan and Xue Gu.
"Wang Jian's sister hired two cats, and it seems that they were named after that."
"Then my cat can't have the same name as someone else's cat." But she couldn't think of anything.
The two sat there silently, staring at the yellow paper.
Banban rested her chin on her hand and gazed at the scenery outside the window. The last time she was like this was when her cousin taught her to write. Her family letters had many typos, and her hand ached from using a knife to scrape the bamboo slips, so her cousin helped her write them.
What name does my cousin want?
As she stood there lost in thought, her cousin's voice came from behind her, bringing her back to her senses. Before she could turn around, the person behind her had already leaned down, his larger hand grasping hers, his breath overwhelming, completely enveloping her beneath him.
"Let's take the meaning from the sun and the moon."
“Sun, Moon,” he whispered in her ear, “and not only that, but also with our surnames.”
“Xuan.” He held her hand, their fingers interlaced. The backs of his fingers were fair, a healthy, translucent white, while her fingers were slender, revealing patches of milky white beneath his palm.
“Xi.” After the second word, he repeated, “Xuanxi.”
Next is the mother bear's name.
He seemed to know it all, or as if he had thought about it beforehand; his writing flowed smoothly, with varying pressure and rhythm, "Yu Jiao".
"Yu Jiao, looks like a rabbit." His cousin's voice came out. She had her head down, so he could only see her cute hair whorl. Her voice was muffled, but it didn't sound like she was unhappy.
“It really does look like a rabbit,” he repeated.
She stretched out her left hand, pointing to these words: "Xuan is paired with Yu, Xi is paired with Jiao, this is black against white, sun against moon."
"A black sun is so strange."
"ah."
"I want to be black too, and I'll be called Xuan Jiao."
"?"
Wasn't it supposed to be strange?
She gently shook her wrist, and Ying Zheng released her hand, only then noticing that the tips of her ears were already bright red.
The two did all sorts of intimate things. In the most intimate room, she was bold and showed no shyness. Now, just holding a pen with her fingers intertwined, she was already blushing like this.
He extended his fingertips and gently rubbed it.
She was slightly startled and immediately looked up.
His face was already close.
With a 'thud,' the calligraphy brush rolled to the ground.
A cloud of ink spread across the yellow paper, upon which were written two names: Ying Xuanxi and Ji Xuanjiao.
The two panda cubs rubbed against each other. The male's eyes were wide open, looking around with keen curiosity, while the female lay motionless, her eyes half-closed as if she were still sleeping.
The male nuzzled the female with its head and licked its wet nose. Only then did the female lazily open its eyes and nuzzle back.
The sun was setting, and its afterglow bathed the earth.
Banban tugged at her clothes that had slipped off her shoulders, nestled against her cousin's chest, and slept soundly. Her long, black hair was spread out on the bed, making her skin appear incomparably white.
She vaguely felt someone touching her cheek, their fingertips lightly lingering on her neck, tickling her. She couldn't shake them off and opened her eyes.
It was my cousin; he was awake and watching the sunset.
"Her skin is like snow cut from the clouds, her pure spirit descends upon the jade palace in autumn."
Is this a poem?
Why did he suddenly start writing poetry out of nowhere?
It's not used to describe a sunset.
She paused for two seconds, then saw him lean down, his voice unusually soft, carrying an indescribable ambiguity, "A slender waist that the wind envies, a hint of crimson in the moonlight."
"—??" Banban's cheeks flushed red.
"You, how could you—" She stared in disbelief, her fingertips trembling slightly as she pointed at the person.
Ying Zheng grasped her fingers. "What? I just said it offhand, and you forbid it?"
"Is this a dirty poem?" She pulled her hand away, quickly wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, and looked at her cousin as if he were a villain.
"Is this it?" Ying Zheng asked in return.
"Isn't that so?" Banban asked warily. "Oh, so cousin has this side to him. You're better than me when I say something; you have to cover my mouth."
“Cousin, you’ve misunderstood. This poem is just describing your blushing face and slender waist.” Ying Zheng shook his head seriously, revealing a reproachful expression that said, ‘How could you look at me like that?’
put--
No, we can't be this rude.
Even in one's heart.
Banban lifted the blanket and glanced at her skin. "What is that 'ice skin'?"
"That's filthy poetry, no excuses allowed."
Her earnestness piqued Ying Zheng's interest, who decided to tease her. "If you want to hear lewd poems, I can say them too."
"..." Banban blinked slowly, a little doubtful of life. Her cousin was usually very serious, she couldn't tell he knew these things. "Oh... then tell me?"
Ying Zheng deliberately moved closer to her, "Aren't you dressed? Why are you wrapped up so tightly?"
"Sigh—" The blanket was pulled away, and before she could react, she was already tumbling into her cousin's bed.
What's with the shyness!
She wasn't shy!
We've been married for a long time!
When I looked up, his face was right in front of me, "Warm and fragrant jade containing cinnabar dew, snow-capped mountains and new peach blossoms reflecting the moon."
Banban opened her eyes wide, her mind filled with corresponding images as she was conjuring up these metaphors, especially the scene of the two of them entangled just now.
Why are all these verbs?!
The imagery is so vivid!
She feigned composure, pretending not to understand, "Isn't this the same as what we just heard?"
"The orchid boat explores the mysterious path, the spring tide brings rain into Penglai—" Before he could finish speaking, his mouth was suddenly covered.
Okay, okay, she's completely convinced.
This is real erotic poetry! It pales in comparison to the previous one.
She believed it.
She didn't even dare to look up at her cousin, whose eyes were smiling.
After making a ruckus for a while, and even composing poems in practice, the two finally got up when it was completely dark.
Only Ying Zheng, who had a monthly day off, could spend time with his cousin like this. After dinner, the two went to the forging shop together, where they heard that the Qin King's sword had been forged.
We arrived at the forging shop by sedan chair, and the oppressive heat assaulted us as we stood at the entrance.
But then Ying Zheng approached the blacksmith with practiced ease and engaged in a lively conversation, as if he were a regular customer.
"Does His Majesty often come here?" Banban asked.
The blacksmith glanced at the King of Qin subconsciously, and carefully considered his expression. "He doesn't come all the time, just two or three times to check on the progress."
"Oh." Coming every day, that's for sure.
Ying Zheng quickly said, "How about I forge a sword for the Queen to admire?"
"I don't want to. I can't ride a horse, let alone wield a sword." Banban pouted. "The blacksmith is loyal to the king, so he should be rewarded handsomely."
"That's easy. I'll teach the Queen how to ride a horse."
The blacksmith wanted to laugh, but dared not, so he kept a straight face and pretended to be serious.
Before long, the Qin King's sword was taken out again. The original Qin King's sword was already long enough, but this one was reforged and grew to a new height. The blade was also wider, and the overall color was lacquered. It looked extremely sharp from the side. The scabbard was reforged into a combination of dark gold and black, with simple and domineering lines resembling a crow spreading its wings.
Banban thought of a question: at this time, his cousin probably didn't realize that the king was the emperor, the incarnation of a true dragon, and that the auspicious omen of the Qin state was a black crow.
Pity.
"If only it were a dragon," she said casually, while secretly observing her cousin's expression.
dragon?
Ying Zheng frowned slightly, and in an instant, a jumble of information flooded into his mind.
“In the Book of Changes, the terms ‘dragon’s lurking, dragon’s appearance, dragon’s vigilance, dragon’s leap, dragon’s flight, and dragon’s arrogance’ are used to describe a virtuous person or a monarch,” he said, suddenly grasping Banban’s wrist. “Legend has it that the Yellow Emperor rode a dragon to the heavens. The dragon is the Son of Heaven; it is connected to the heavens, changeable, and mighty.”
"Huh?" He said so much in one breath, speaking incredibly fast. What did he say?
"Change this dark red color to a dragon, a golden dragon!" he exclaimed, his excitement akin to discovering a new continent.
The blacksmith roared at the top of his lungs, "Yes, sir!"
"Wait, let me personally draw up the blueprints, and you can forge according to the blueprints. There's no rush." Sensing something was amiss, he grabbed the blacksmith's sleeve and urgently stopped him.
Banban: ...I think you're the one who's anxious.
Talking nonsense.
The Qin King's sword was not retrieved. Someone stayed up all night drawing on it. When Banban got up in the middle of the night, she found the bed empty. She was confused and put on her clothes to look for it. Ying Zheng was holding a brush and muttering to himself.
Finally, he would complain, "This calligraphy brush is really not easy to use."
“I heard that Meng Tian improved the writing brush, and my cousin uses one he made.” Banban opened the gift box that Meng Tian had presented, inside which lay three exquisitely crafted writing brushes.
The bristles of this brush seem to be made of rabbit and wolf hair; they are soft, do not fray, and are very easy to shape once dry.
"When was this sent to the palace?" Ying Zheng asked slowly.
"It's for the New Year," Banban said matter-of-factly. "His wife, Madam Bu, sent it over. It was an improvement they made together. What's wrong with that? I didn't know you didn't have one." She hardly ever wrote, so she hadn't opened it yet.
She reasoned that if Bu Shi had sent it, then Meng Tian must have also sent it to Ying Zheng.
"..."
"..."
The two stared at each other, their eyes meeting.
"You... never mind."
Ying Zheng continued drawing blueprints, then ordered, "Grind the ink."
"You have it, the ink is about to overflow."
"Grind this part." He took out a new ink stick.
"..." So you're taking revenge on her here, huh?
Banban diligently ground ink, occasionally peeking out to see Ying Zheng studying what the dragon actually looked like, with some related books spread out beside him.
Even though papermaking was invented, each book still had to be handwritten, making them expensive.
Listening to his cousin's mumbling, indistinct words, Banban's mind was filled with thoughts of printing. If all the characters were carved to the same size, and the carved characters were arranged according to the content of the book when needed, would it be possible to print without limit?
"What are you thinking about?" Ying Zheng asked.
"I was thinking—" The drawing on the paper instantly drew Banban's attention. She put down the ink stick and leaned closer to look. "A dragon!"
Ying Zheng explained, "According to ancient books and records that have been passed down to this day, the dragon is probably a ferocious beast that combines the features of a snake, crocodile, pig, deer, and eagle."
"And what about the feet?" Banban pointed to the drawing paper.
Because he imitated an eagle, the dragon he painted had three claws.
"I haven't thought about it yet." Ying Zheng was indeed deep in thought. When he saw his cousin staring blankly, he asked her what she was thinking. Her thoughts continued, and she started saying some complicated and difficult-to-understand words, which were at least generally incomprehensible.
"In the Book of Changes, the Qian hexagram represents heaven and the monarch, so the Zhou king called himself the Son of Heaven. I observe that the fifth line represents the ninth line in the fifth place, and the line text is exactly 'The flying dragon is in the sky, it is advantageous to see a great man.' In this sense, the ninth line in the fifth place is quite special."
"The monarch is the supreme ruler." Ying Zheng pondered, and with a stroke of genius, changed the three-clawed dragon to a five-clawed one.
Banban peeked out with a smile, "Cousin, you're so smart! Although I don't understand what you're saying, your drawing is amazing."
"What's the difference between this and what you saw? Who drew it back then?" Ying Zheng asked abruptly.
"?" I knew I couldn't hide it from him.
Banban examined it carefully. "Hmm...it seems there's no difference. I don't know who invented it. It seems to have evolved on its own over the centuries. Dragons are reserved for the royal family. Court officials and commoners are not allowed to use five-clawed dragons."
"Royal family?" Ying Zheng picked out the word that concerned him and raised his eyebrows.
Oops, I let it slip.
Banban covered her mouth.
"What book are you talking about that records King Zhaoxiang as the King of Qin? I am not the King of Qin, so could I be the Emperor of Qin?"
Before Banban could explain, he got excited and said, "The emperor is no good. The Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors, though preceding the emperor, are not enough to explain the supreme status of the emperor."
Banban's heart skipped a beat, she held her breath, and stared at him quietly.
Ying Zheng met her gaze, and after a brief moment of thought, slowly said, "Emperor."
"Judging from your expression, was I right?"
"Indeed, only I truly understand myself." Banban muttered to himself, bending down to dry the blueprints. "Now that's great, the Qin King's Sword looks even more impressive."
"You even said you'd teach me how to ride a horse? I've hardly ever seen you ride one."
“That’s easy. I’ll take you to Shangqiu tomorrow afternoon.”
In the end, Ying Zheng did not go to sleep. He had Qin Ju bring over a stack of Qin bamboo slips and sat in the courtyard to read them.
Banban instructed him, "Don't stay up late again, this is the only time."
Ying Zheng nodded repeatedly without even raising his head.
The next day, after finishing his duties at court, Ying Zheng indeed took Banban to the Shangqiu Horse Ranch.
Stirrups had been widely used, greatly enhancing the Qin army's combat power. When the palace officials at the horse farm saw the King of Qin arrive, they hurriedly ordered someone to bring out the King's beloved horses and gave him a long, detailed account of the horses' eating habits and mental state.
Before long, the eunuch brought in a tall and mighty white horse. Its coat was glossy and smooth, its appearance was handsome, and its ears were perked up alertly. It smelled its master's scent and let out a long neigh.
"The white rabbit is in excellent condition today. Would Your Majesty like to ride it a couple of times?" The courtier flattered, handing over the reins.
"White Rabbit?" Banban asked with a strange expression. "Is that the horse's name?"
Seeing the queen's confusion, the courtier quickly explained, "Your Majesty, White Rabbit was a name personally chosen by His Majesty, and its meaning is indeed that of a rabbit—"
"It's nothing. Rabbit means fast, like a rabbit in motion, and white is the color of this horse's coat."
Banban's zodiac sign is Rabbit, and her cousin really likes to give her rabbit-related items. When she heard the name "White Rabbit," she had a feeling that something was wrong.
However, it seems quite reasonable that Lü Bu's horse was also called Red Hare in later generations.
With outsiders present, Ying Zheng kept a straight face but spoke in a gentle tone, “The headdresses of Qin generals also resemble two upright rabbit ears.”
Banban: ?!
Cousin, do the military generals know what you're thinking?
Imagine going to court every day, sitting down and seeing a huge expanse of red rabbit ears...
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